The Jumper
She sat down, cradling his jumper in her hands with a small smile on her face. Biting her lip, hesitant, she let it rest in her lap for a moment and took off her t-shirt, chucking it haphazardly over her shoulder. Then, she picked up the jumper, and pulled it over her head, eagerly slipping her arms into the sleeves even as she worried about the consequences of her actions.
It was soft against her skin, just as it had been soft against her arms when she and the Doctor, her first Doctor, had hugged close. She lifted her arm to her nose, inhaling the smell of him, letting her eyes drift closed. She imagined him holding her, his arms wrapped around her instead of her own, stroking a finger across her shoulder comfortingly.
A small squeak of the floor made her eyes snap open, alerted to the presence of someone else in the room. At the sight of him, her Doctor, her newer Doctor, and his accompanying arched eyebrow and hands-in-pockets stance, she swallowed, offering him a sheepish smile.
"You alright?" he asked quietly, looking a little worried.
"Yeah," she breathed out, still smiling. Because she was alright. She was more than alright, really. She was just feeling a little nostalgic - in a good way, though.
But he didn't seem to think so. His travelled all over her face, his eyes searching hers, then his gaze slipped lower to stare at his jumper that adorned her upper body. "Are you sure?" he persisted, voice low.
"Yes," she insisted firmly, rolling her eyes. Then she looked down at herself, feeling mildly embarrassed. "Sorry...um..." she trailed off, wondering how to explain herself.
"You don't need to be sorry," he replied hurriedly, frowning. He sat down cross-legged in front of her, absent-mindedly undoing the buttons of his jacket. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," she tutted, looking back at him. "Why would you think something's wrong?"
"Weeelll, it's not every day I find you in the wardrobe room wearing my clothes," he pointed out, tilting his head in bewilderment.
"Doesn't mean something's wrong," she pointed out right back.
"Right," he smiled, nodding. Then, he took in a deep breath, before asking nervously, "Do you miss how I used to be?"
Her eyes squinted at him in confusion. "Course I do."
"Oh," he wheezed, looking positively shattered.
"Hey!" she cried out, alarmed at his hurt expression. "Don't get all..." she trailed off, sighing. "I'm allowed to miss you even though you're still here, right? I mean, I get that you're the same person, really, and I'm completely fine with the fact that you've changed, too. I still love travelling with you, being with you...that hasn't changed. But yeah, of course I'm gonna miss the old you – you were the you who first whisked me away back then, remember."
His eyes softened and he smiled gratefully at her. "Yeah, I know."
She held out her hand, and he took it instantly, making her grin. She squeezed his hand reassuringly, then looked at where her other hand was fiddling with the hem of the jumper. "I should probably take it off," she murmured ponderingly.
"It's alright," he shrugged, speaking softly. "You can keep it. If you want," he added, not meeting her eye.
"Yeah?" she replied hopefully. "Won't that be...weird?" she asked, a smile in her voice.
"Why?" he asked simply, finally looking back at her.
"Well. Just, you know. Wearing your old jumper...I thought you might be a bit freaked out by it."
"You look nice in it though. Nicer than I ever did," he murmured, his eyes full of affection.
She scoffed. "That I find hard to believe," she replied, which proceeded to her cheeks inflaming. "Uh, I mean..." she mumbled, embarrassed.
He chuckled then, low in his throat, and tugged on her hand, pulling her towards him. She went gratefully, rather ungracefully shifting her legs so that she could mould into his offered hug, hiding her flushed face from his laughing eyes.
His arms enveloped around her and he held her close to him, still chuckling softly in her ear. "Hmm, this jumper's soft," he mumbled appreciatively, running his hand up and down her back.
Rose shivered at his unexpected touch, and tucked her arms beneath his open jacket to wrap around his waist. "Well, yeah. Didn't you ever think so when you used to wear it?" she asked laughingly, trying to pretend she wasn't starting to feel very overwhelmed by the feel of his fingers tickling across her spine.
"Dunno," he pondered. "I suppose I just notice it more now you've got it on."
She held her breath in surprise, wondering if he realised what he was doing to her, or if he was simply as oblivious as always. "Right," she exhaled roughly against his neck.
She then realised they had been situated in this very lovely hug for far longer than should be appropriate, really, for, you know; just friends.
"Doctor?" she murmured, attempting to reluctantly pull back.
But he held her where she was. Trapped. Which, honestly, was fine by her; she just thought he might've wanted to end the embrace by now. But obviously not. Which...which...well.
She wondered what that really meant.
"It was easier this time, you know," he said conversationally, startling Rose out of her thoughts.
She frowned in confusion, wondering if she'd missed half a conversation. "Sorry?"
"Regeneration," he clarified quietly. "It was easier this time."
"How do you mean? 'Cos blimey, your other ones must have been really awful, if that was the easy! You were in regenerative coma for ages, and let's not forget that you crashed landed the TARDIS - "
" – oi! I did not crash-land the TARDIS," he contested.
"You so did," she giggled, lifting her head back to look at his face.
He smiled down at her, relenting. "Weeelll, maybe just a little bit." Then his look grew more serious, more nervous. "But luckily, you were there, eh? To save the day."
"As I remember it, your exact words to me were: 'you, Rose Tyler – fat lot of good you were!'" she corrected him. "And you were right; I was useless."
"Nah, not useless." He swallowed thickly. "You'd just seen me change every cell in my body; I think I can cut you some slack for being a bit...doubtful. And, weeelll. Your Mum helped a bit in the end, eh, with that nice tea?" He paused. "Ooh. Never thought I'd say that sentence."
Rose nodded in amused agreement, and snuggled back into him again, her forehead pressed against his shoulder.
"You don't still..." he started.
"What?" she mumbled, prompting him to continue.
"You don't still...doubt me, do you?" he murmured.
"It's been months, Doctor," she chuckled. "And anyway, I stopped doubting you the minute you had to sword fight for the Earth." She paused, considering recent events. "I admit, I might have doubted you recently," she continued slowly, realising it was quite beneficial to not be looking at his face why she told him this. "Just...just for maybe, you know. A day or so."
His brows drew together in uncertainty. Reflexively, he tightened his arms around her. "You did?"
"Yeah. Let's not...let's not talk about that," she mumbled.
"Ah. Right. Okay," he replied.
"So, how comes it was easier this time?" she said next, guiding him back to his previous topic.
"Hmm?"
"Regeneration," she clarified for him this time.
"Oh! Yes, right. Well, just as I said. You were there," he explained brightly, as if it were the obvious answer.
Rose pulled back in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"
He stayed silent, his hand coming up to her face and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear tenderly; lingering at her neck afterwards. Her breath caught and she mentally rolled her eyes at herself.
"Doctor?" she whispered.
"Rose," he answered softly. "I told you that it was sort of a way of cheating death, do you remember?"
"Course I do," she replied easily. She remembered most of the stuff he told her. Especially the important bits. Like stuff about him dying. As if she could forget that conversation, for goodness' sake.
"Well. It is, sort of. But it - " He paused, wet his lips thoughtfully. She fought hard not to look at his mouth as he did so, and focused on his eyes, which were dark and mysterious and unfathomable, as they often were. " – it still feels like dying," he continued.
Rose felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes. "Doctor - " she began, her voice cracking.
"Shh, it's alright, see. 'Cos this is what I mean, Rose. It hurts like hell, the whole...process...but - "
" – you were in agony, I could see it, and I...I did that to you," she interrupted fiercely, feeling so, so guilty for causing him such pain. "I don't know how you forgave me for that."
His eyes went wide, and he grasped her upper arms with an abruptness she wasn't expecting, hard enough to prevent her from moving away, but not hard enough to bruise. She felt both bereft without his arms wrapped securely around her and thrilled by the sudden determination, fondness, forgiveness, in his hold of her as he stared deep into her eyes.
"Rose, I wasn't asking for an apology or anything," he said, sounding hurt. "You have nothing to apologise for."
"But I killed you," she whispered. "You died because of me."
"Yeah," he exhaled roughly. "Because I couldn't bear it if you died. I've got regenerations left, you...you, you get..."
"One chance," she sighed bitterly. "Yeah, I know."
"I'd do it again, like that," he told her earnestly, snapping his fingers.
"But don't," she said quickly. "Well. Um. Try not to. Change again, I mean."
He smiled. "You like this face then?"
"Maybe," she replied, smirking ever so slightly. "But if you do have to change, at some point...I'll still be here. I won't ever leave. In fact, I'd probably end up wearing one of these shirts," she grinned, fiddling with a button. "Or maybe this swirly tie. But I'm sticking around forever."
He smiled, and brushed the backs of his knuckles across her cheek gently. "Knowing I was saving you, though – knowing that although I'd have to prove myself to you, I'd hopefully still have you, after – I..." he broke off, voice catching.
Rose stared at him silently for a few moments, patiently waiting to see what he was going to say. But then, seeing him watching her with such emotion in his eyes, she had a sudden burst of confidence.
She lifted herself up slightly, and kissed him firmly on the lips.
She wasn't surprised, however, when he didn't kiss her back. She forced an apologetic smile out. "Sorry..."
The Doctor stared down at her in bewilderment, his mind replaying the most recent event to happen to him over and over and stopping him breathing quite spectacularly.
And then, he slid his hands to her hair, and pulled her lips back to his. Her mouth opened in shock, and he deepened the kiss eagerly, holding her closer to him.
"Sorry," he echoed, with a small smile on his face as he broke the kiss to allow her to gasp in some air, their foreheads pressed together.
Rose bit her lip, unsure of what to say. "I..."
"Don't ever doubt me, Rose," he whispered. "My thoughts and feelings, they're still the same, more, really, and..."
"I know," she insisted, her nose brushing his.
His hands slid across her back, down to the hem of the jumper, where they fiddled with it restlessly. "Don't ever doubt yourself, either," he told her. "Because you're completely, brilliantly fantastic."
Rose smiled gently. "Thanks..."
The Doctor's lips grazed her jaw line as he shifted, leaning down to her ear. "Rose," he whispered.
She shivered as she felt his hand slip beneath the jumper, fingertips lingering at the bare skin of her lower back. "I was in love with you," she whispered.
She felt him sigh against the skin beneath her ear, felt him inhale the scent of her hair as he pressed his nose to it. Felt his lips move against the strands of yellow and gold, softly and happily, "Fantastic..." And then he pulled back to look at her, eyes glinting with mischief, and smiled crookedly. "I was in love with you, too," he murmured, not breaking eye contact.
Rose breathed in sharply and felt warm inside at the revelation. "Fantastic," she repeated tenderly.
He kissed her again, and broke it briefly to whisper against her lips, "Just to be certain that you know, I'm still - " but she kissed him back in impatience, cutting off his sentence and smiling against his mouth.
"Me too," she murmured, nipping his lower lip playfully, her sparkling gaze imploring his.
He grinned, sighing contentedly as he looked back at her with an adoring expression. "What did I do to deserve you, eh?" he whispered gently.
Rose remained quiet, contemplating her next move. There was a pause containing a comfortable silence, before she broke it with an enigmatic smile.
"Doctor," she murmured, voice low. "Can we go back to Woman Wept?"
He raised his eyebrows, having not expected that particular question. "Of course we can, Rose."
"Thanks. I loved our evening there. But Jack kinda cramped our style," she joked.
"Hmm, he did, didn't he?" picked up the Doctor, laughing quietly.
"Yeah. Sort of took away the romance of it, with him there. Three's a crowd and all that," Rose continued, smiling widely.
"Romance, eh? So that's what you're after. Weeelll, I'll try, but I'm not sure Time Lords are particularly good at romance. What's romantic about Woman Wept, anyway?"
"Well, it's all icy and pretty and moonlit," she explained.
"And cold," the Doctor pointed out pragmatically. "Very, very, extremely cold. So cold, in fact, that you might have to wear another jumper."
"Mm, maybe," she replied. "And then, after, can we go to that place which we thought had the best chips ever?"
He chuckled. "Reulock Five?"
"No, no. They were good, but not this good. Um...something like...what was it...Abba? Aber?"
"Abbaarr?" he suggested.
"Yes! That's it! Lovely little place."
"It was a grotty little cafe, that's what it was," he laughed.
"Still, it did great chips."
"And I s'pose the un-romance of it would compensate for the romanticness of the twenty foot frozen waves," he pondered.
"Exactly!" Rose grinned, hugging him tightly.
"Then it's definitely a deal," he accepted. He paused. "Wait, so, Rose...is this...?"
"Is this what?" she mumbled into his shoulder, still hugging him.
"A date?" he finished quietly.
Rose giggled. "If you want. Though we're probably way past the courting stage."
"Ah, true," he realised. "In human terms, the amount of time I've loved you for, you'd likely expect a proposal."
She tensed in his arms and swallowed hard. "A what?"
He squeezed her closer, laughing into her hair. "Never mind."
And after a quick trip to the wardrobe room to layer up, the Doctor honoured Rose's request, and they spent the remainder of the evening arm-in-arm and effortlessly in love.