Dlbn: Hey there, everyone, and welcome back to "Tell It to Maury"! Sorry for the long wait, but we just weren't inspired enough to get to work on a new chapter. But now we are, so here we go again!

Nbld: Let's start with the review corner! Thank you to dragonprincess01 and 777angeloflove for reviewing! Cookies for you both!

Dragonprincess01: They really are a cute couple ^^ thank you, I hope you had a good weekend/week as well. :-D

777aangeloflove: Yay! :D

Disclaimer; I do NOT own Yoji Sagan or Natsuo Sagan. They belong to Yun Kouga; creator of Loveless and Gestalt (And more, but I only know those two enough by name XD) I don't own Maury or The Maury Show either. Maury belongs to himself, and the show belongs to the channel he's on. Channel 15 for me. I make NO money off of this work of fiction.

000

Maury sat in his chair on the left side of the stage again, grinning as always. Next to him sat two boys. One had long mint colored hair, and the other had burgundy hair. The burgundy haired one had an eye patch on his left eye; leaving only his green right eye visible. The mint haired boy had violet eyes. They both seemed a little agitated to be there.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Yoji and Natsuo to the show." Maury introduced.

People cheered, making the mint haired one roll his eyes in annoyance.

"Do you boys know why you're here?" Maury wondered.

"Nagisa-sensei paid us to come." The one with the eye patch laughed. "Do you know what this is about, Yoji?"

"No idea, Natsuo." Yoji replied. "Like you said; we were paid to come here."

Maury smiled, not disturbed by the boys' reaction. "Well, Nagisa-sensei sent us a video tape to explain why. Perhaps we should all watch?"

Before either of the younger males could speak, a video tape began rolling. The woman on screen had teal colored hair and lilac eyes like the mint haired male's. She appeared to be wearing some kind of frilly pink outfit with a matching hat.

"I called the show and sent my boys in." She informed, picking at her hot pink painted nails with white painted tips. "You're not going to believe me, I don't think, but they're…well…in no uncertain terms…doing it…"

The crowd gasped.

"And I don't mean with other people…I mean each other…" She shuddered. "Well, not exactly doing it, since their ears are real. Believe me; I tried yanking the ears off and nothing. I have no idea what to do, but they seem proud of…whatever it is they're doing. Fix it or something."

The tape ended. Maury looked surprised; both at the woman's obvious lack of concern, and with the circumstances themselves.

"You're…a couple?" He wondered.

"Not really…" Yoji informed.

"We're a unit." Natsuo corrected.

"Yeah, a unit." Yoji smirked cockily. "No harm, no foul."

"Exactly. Nothing wrong with it."

"Nothing at all."

"Can we go now?"

"I'm bored."

Maury just blinked at the two boys. "If my information is correct, you two are…siblings, are you not?"

That had the crowd gasping again.

"Oh, come on!" Yoji argued. "You weren't gasping this much when Soubi and Ritsuka were making out up here!"

"We're not related!" A call came from backstage.

"Shut up, Ritsuka!" Yoji called back. "Besides, we're not siblings, you know."

"Oh? But you have the same last name, according to my paperwork…"

"So what?" Yoji wondered. "Yeah, Nagisa-sensei gave us her last name and raised us or whatever, but we're not siblings. No blood relation."

"None whatsoever." Natsuo agreed.

"So it's fine."

"Totally legal."

"No blood relation, no incest."

"Simple as that." They both spoke at once.

Maury looked shell shocked. "So you two admit that you're together, then?"

"No." The both argued.

"But if we were…" Yoji started.

"It would be okay because we're not related by blood." Natsuo added.

"But you're not together?" Maury was perplexed, and getting a bit of a headache.

"We're a unit." Yoji insisted. "But we're not a couple."

"Never one without the other."

"Two halves of the same soul."

"But not a couple?"

Both boys glared. "What part of no don't you understand?" They wondered, agitated.

"Well, you boys may say you're not together, but I have a little surprise for you."

"If you're going to call Ritsuka or Soubi as witnesses, we're out." Yoji informed.

"No, no, nothing like that." Maury cut his hand across his throat, making a man in a black suit nod and speak into his headset. "However, a little friend of mine is here to give us a little hand. Please give a warm welcome to our Special Ops Investigator, Dave Vitali!"

The audience burst into cheers and applause, standing as they did so. A bald male wearing a black shirt that showed off his muscles walked out of the audience and stood on the steps. He folded his arms over his chest.

"Dave, care to explain what you have in store for these young men?"

"Natsuo, I'm scared…" Yoji informed.

"Me too, Yoji…" Natsuo agreed.

"Well, before we brought the boys out on stage, we let them sit in our green room for about half an hour." Dave informed, making the crowd go nuts. "But what they didn't know was that there were security cameras in the room."

Maury grinned. "Well, let's see what was on the security cameras, shall we?"

The screen showed Yoji and Natsuo sitting in a room talking.

"I can't believe Nagisa-sensei would send us here." Past-Yoji informed. "This si so stupid."

"At least she paid us." Past-Natsuo offered.

"Well, yeah, that's true." Past-Yoji sighed. "But look who's running around here! The entire Aoyagi family, the entire Akame family, Soubi, Kio and some little girl that bosses him around…I feel like we're in the insane asylum."

"If we were," Past-Natsuo replied. "Then Ritsu-sensei and Nagisa-sensei would be in here, too."

"We should send them in here."

"We couldn't bribe them with money."

"Bribe Ritsu by telling him they'll let him hang out with Soubi in a back room." Past-Yoji snickered into his hand.

"And bribe Nagisa by telling her she gets to stay in a hotel room with Ritsu!"

They both burst into laughter. The tape fast-forwarded a little bit. Static lines of grey ran across the screen until it stopped.
"Hey, I'm bored." Past-Natsuo informed his not-brother.

"Me too." Past-Yoji agreed.

"Wanna pass the time?"

"How?"

Natsuo wiggled his eyebrows at the mint haired male. Yoji flushed and grabbed Natsuo by the collar; pulling him closer.

"I like that idea." He fused their lips together.

The two of them made out as the audience began to gasp and cheer. Natsuo pulled Yoji on top of him, but the tape stopped.

"We had to end it there because the rest was too racy for television." Dave informed.

Dave's words caused catcalls to sprout from the audience. Yoji and Natsuo didn't seem disturbed or bothered by it in the slightest. Maury, however, looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"That's not a green room." Yoji informed. "It was clearly white."

"Clearly." Natsuo informed.

Their comments went ignored.

"How can you claim you're not a couple after that?" Maury wondered.

"We're not a couple." Yoji said.

"We're a unit."

"You keep saying that. But if Dave had to cut off the tape because of how graphic it ended up getting, then there's no way that you two aren't…"

"We're friends with benefits." Yoji informed.

Maury almost fell out of his seat. "Aren't you both twelve?"

"So?" They both wondered.

No one said anything for a moment. Maury looked seriously spooked. "I…I don't think there's much more we can discuss here." He said.

"Can we go now?" Yoji wondered.

"Um…yeah…we'll be right back."

Before Maury could finish, Yoji was dragging Natsuo offstage by the hand.

000

The words 'after the show' appeared in big block letters on the bottom of the screen, next to the image of a slanted clock. Yoji and Natsuo were in the halls of Maury's studio. Yoji was leaned against the wall, and the Natsuo was over him. He held the mint haired boy's hands against the wall above his head. Yoji clenched and unclenched his fists as Natsuo worked at his mouth with his own. A secretary walked down the hall just in time to see Natsuo fit his knee in between Yoji's legs and rub against him.

"Um…excuse me!" She greeted.

The boys separated and glared at her.

"Can't you see we're busy here?!" Yoji snarled.

"Well…yes…but um…could you do that somewhere else?" The woman wondered. "There's a green room right next to you…"

"Are you people all stupid? The rooms here are clearly all white. None are green." Yoji informed.

"It's just a figure of speech…"the secretary tried to argue.

"No, no, no." Natsuo said. "It's stupidity."

"Real stupid." Yoji agreed, nodding once.

"And speaking of stupid, we're not going in there to do this, because you'll just catch it all on film."

"There's no cameras in that room there." The secretary pointed.

Natsuo removed himself from Yoji. "One moment." He said, before slipping into the room she'd pointed out.

Yoji looked her up and down. "Your outfit is boring." He replied. "You need color."

"Color?" She wondered. "But…black and white…"

"Makes you look like a penguin."

The secretary's eyes burned with tears. "But…it's a classic…"

"It's old fashioned." Yoji informed. He looked up at the ceiling and clasped his hands behind his back. "Do you want people to look at you and think of old movies from the fifties? You're probably twenty-something. Not sixty-something."

"But…"

The door to the room Natsuo had gone into cracked open. "No cameras." He said.

"Did you check?" Yoji asked, as his tail twitched.

"Yes."

"Did you check good?"

"More then once." Natsuo nodded.

Yoji grinned and arched off the wall. "See you later, 1950's penguin!" He waved at the stunned secretary before disappearing into the room with Natsuo.

The woman didn't speak; too shell-shocked and dumbfounded by the peculiar boys. Moans and pants started coming from the room, causing the secretary to scamper off. Her heels clicked as she ran down the hallways. The camera faded out as Maury started walking past. He heard noises from the room the not-brothers had gone into. He stared for a moment before shaking his head and walking away. The camera faded to black.