Dlbn: Hey there, everyone, I'm back! Sorry about the long delay between chapters here. My inspiration for this ran out a long time ago. But now it's back and ready to roll! Let's get started straight away!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kio Kaido, Shikiko Kaido, or Chouma Kaido. They are from Loveless and thus belong to Yun Kouga. I also do not own Maury or The Maury Show. Maury owns himself, and I forget who owns the show. But he's on channel 15 for me, so let's give them credit for now. I DO however, own Ryo Kaido. He's mine.

000

Maury sat on the left side of the stage in his usual chair. On the chair next to him was a very nervous looking young man with pale green hair and dark navy-purple eyes. He had many piercings going up the cartilage on his ears, thin wire glasses on his face, and a lollipop in his mouth. He sat leaning forward slightly, wringing his hands between his spread knees. Maury smiled warmly at the camera while the man next to him tried to avoid looking up at it.

"Welcome to the show, everybody." Maury greeted. "It's been a long between-season break, but we're finally back!"

Cheers sprang from the audience.

"Everyone meet Kio." Maury informed. "He's here with a couple questions of DNA. Kio, tell us what's going on?"

Kio looked up, smiling softly. "Well…er…I have a daughter…allegedly. We're related, I mean I see the family resemblance, but it just doesn't add up. She's 14, and I'm 21, so I have no idea how that's even possible…"

The audience began to cheer and holler.

"Your daughter is seven years younger than you…so you would have had to father her when you were seven." Maury commented.

"I don't think that's even possible!" Kio replied. "I know my family has a ton of secrets, but this one is just weird."

More cheers came from the audience, with scattered laughter.

"I read the story over before we came on stage, and it seems to me like there's one more family secret you're wondering about?"

"I met this girl the other day…"

Cheers from the audience.

"I'm gay, so don't even think about it."

Laughter blew up from the audience, with one or two cheers.

"But she looks like she could be my twin, and she even called me her 'big brother'."

"So this is your sister?" Maury wondered. "Were you separated for a long period of time?"

"I didn't know she existed."

Gasps popped up from the audience and murmuring began to follow. Maury looked shocked.

"You…you didn't know she existed? But if she's your twin…"

"My family is very women oriented. We were probably separated and she was kept secret from me because I was a male and had no right to know."

"Well…let's start with your sister first…Here's what she had to say."

A video began rolling. A woman with short blonde hair grinned at the camera. She had eyes like Kio, and looked eerily similar to him. She wore a low cut pink top and a headband that went under her hair. She picked at her nails, seeming disinterested in what was going on around her.

"Yeah, Kio's my brother, but he didn't know I existed until I went to him." Her sweet-sounding voice was laced with traces of hostility. "Don't know why I was kept secret from him, but welcome to the Kaido family." She shrugged. "It's probably Septimal Moon's fault. This organization I work underneath? Yeah, it's weird and I'm not explaining, but I'm pretty sure his memory was wiped clean. Because I'm 25 and so is he. That daughter of his? I think she knows more then she lets on. But, being the heir to the Kaido family whatever you want to call it, she's not going to say anything. Gotta protect her image, after all. Or maybe she doesn't know anything either. Mother was always pretty secretive, even when we were kids…" She pursed her wine red-painted lips. "It's not like it really matters whether or not he knows about me, since I'm going into hiding soon anyway, but let's get this settled. At least for his sanity's sake."

The video ended as the audience erupted into cheers. Maury smiled at the camera. "Let's welcome Chouma."

The audience broke into cheers and hollers as Chouma walked out to the staircase. She wore a low-cut pink top, silver and pink bangles on her arms, black short-shorts, a long sleeved black trench coat, and spiked silver heels. She wore a pink headband under her hair, but over her bangs. Her blonde hair was longer in the back, but got shorter in the front. Like Kio, she had numerous piercings on her ears and a lollipop in her mouth. Chouma really did resemble Kio, but in drag and with very visible breasts. She stumbled slightly as she walked to the stairs; her knees seemingly buckling underneath her. She regained her composure and very carefully walked down the stairs to meet Maury at the foot of the staircase.

"Chouma, how are you?" Maury asked over the cheers.

"Fine." She greeted. "And yourself, Maury?"

"I'm doing alright, thank you." She pulled the lollipop from her mouth before grabbing Maury by the back of the head and pressing her painted lips to his.

Kio hid his face in his hands as the audience broke into wolf whistles. Chouma pulled away and smirked, putting her lollipop back in your mouth.

"Interesting man." She informed Maury. "Sorry, that's just how I greet my opponents. How I get to know them, so to speak, so I can use what I learn against them later." She giggled happily and inched around Maury. She walked over to Kio, who was standing, and tripped into his arms. He caught her and stood her upright.

"Are you okay?" He wondered.

"I'm fine." She grinned. "Thanks for catching me. People normally don't do that." She giggled and pulled from Kio before turning her chair around. She sat on it backwards, leaning her arms over the back of the chair and straddling it as she sat. Her coat flailed out behind her before settling down. Kio sat next to her as the stunned Maury walked robotically back to his seat and sat down.

"That's never happened before." Maury informed.

"Gee, I wonder why." Chouma snorted.

The audience laughed.

"So, Chouma, that was quite a speech you made on tape there. You think your brother's memory was wiped?"

"Why not?" She shrugged. "It's been done time and time again. It's how we keep our secrets. Why do you think I'm going into hiding soon, hm?"

"Why do you think they would hide you, though?"

"Because I'm dangerous." She laughed. "You can't even begin to imagine how many people I've slaughtered." She gripped the back of the chair as she leaned back and laughed. "Or I should say that we slaughtered, but he's no longer here, so who cares about formalities?"

"Who's he?"

"A friend…no…just…someone very close to me. Soul mate, if you would. They decided not to replace him like they normally would. Thought I was too dangerous or something."

"You talk like Seimei…" Kio muttered.

"Well, gee, I wonder why." She giggled. "He's just, you know, the guy who freed me from that accursed Septimal Moon. We're friends, I guess you could say."

"Now, Chouma, I couldn't help but notice the stumbling. Are you alright?"

"Too much to drink?" Someone in the audience asked, making everyone laugh.

Chouma smirked. "Honey, you're just upset because there's no amount of alcohol in the world that could make you attractive." She winked, causing laughs form the audience.

Maury rolled his eyes and waved his hand. "Alright, everyone, settle down." He ordered. "Chouma?"

"I have muscle issues." She informed. "Muscle weakness that causes them to give out unexpectedly. Fortunate for me, only my legs are plagued by it."

"And you wear heels?"

"It's called style. Would you rather I wear combat boots? Because I have a pair of those, too…"

"No, no, it just doesn't seem safe."

"No one tells me no."

"Anyway, back on topic." Maury informed. "You two do look like twins."

"Because we are, smart one."

"But I don't get it." Kio shook his head. "Even Shikiko doesn't know. She said it's because it was before she was born…"

"She's the heir to the Kaido family." Chouma informed her alleged brother. "Why wouldn't she keep it secret to protect the family?"

"But maybe she really doesn't know." Kio argued. "Why would our family erase my memories of you? And of Shikiko. I didn't even know she was born until she was two."

"And how old were you then, if you recall?" Maury wondered.

"Um…I was seventeen, I think…" Kio shrugged. "Fuzzy details, sorry."

"Mind erased." Chouma said "But save her for later. This is about us right now." She said. "Do that DNA result thing so I can leave. I'm in a hurry to get outta town."

"Before we do that, we have one more person to add to this story." Maury said.

Kio and Chouma looked at each other, confused. "Who?" Kio asked, looking back to the host.

"Come on out!" Maury called.

A tall man with short shaggy brown hair and blue eyes walked out onto stage. He wore a white shirt with an unbuttoned black blazer over it, and dark jeans. He looked older then both Kio and Chouma, but resembled them slightly. Chouma looked confused, but Kio recognized him instantly and stood with a snap. The lollipop in his mouth fell to the ground and shattered.

"Dad?" He wondered.

The man nodded in greeting as he walked down the stairs to shake hands with Maury. He ignored the host's questions and sat down on the opposite side of Chouma. He crossed his legs as Kio slowly sat back down.

"Close your mouth, Kio, you're going to catch some flies." His father ordered.

Chouma looked sideways at him, tilting her head a bit. "So you're our Dad, huh?" She wondered.

"Until this DNA test comes back, I'm not sure about you." His father informed her. "I had no knowledge of your mother ever having twins."

"Heh." Chouma smirked. "Seems it's true what they say. The Kaido men really are completely clueless and halfway useless."

Kio and his father both fixed her with smoldering glares as the audience laughed.

"So, Mr. Kaido…" Maury began, only to be cut off.

"Ryo."

"Okay then, Ryo…you had no idea that your wife had twins?"

"I never married their mother. She's not my wife." Ryo said. "Or I should say was, considering circumstances…"

"What circumstances?" Chouma questioned.

"Mom died…" Kio said, gathering sympathetic noises from the audience.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Maury said as Chouma put a hand over her mouth.

"And no one made me aware?" She wondered, slumping a bit. "Well, damn, now I know where I stand."

"I would've told you if I had known…"

Chouma shrugged. "Anyway, can we get on with this?" She wondered. "I seriously need to get running."

"Unfortunately, we don't have a DNA test to check for siblings." Maury informed. "So we called in your father to do a paternity test." He stood as the audience cheered and grabbed a manila envelope from a man in the audience. He returned to his seat and pulled out a sheet of paper. "According to this, Ryo is definitely Kio's father."

The audience cheered as Ryo rolled his eyes. "We were already aware of this." He said. "Next, please."

Maury shook his head and looked back at the paper. "According to the results of this DNA test, Ryo…you are the father of Chouma."

The audience began to cheer as people stood and clapped. A few whistles broke out as a slight grin broke across Kio's face.

"So it's true…we are siblings…" He said.

She rolled her eyes and stood. "I told you."

Kio stood as well and pulled his sister into a hug, making the audience cheer louder. Their father stood and stretched before putting a hand on Chouma's shoulder and patting it.

"Welcome to the family from hell. Enjoy your stay." He said.

The twins separated.

"Hey…dad…?" Kio wondered. "If I'm 25…why did I think I was only 21? Didn't you know how old I was?"

He shrugged. "I'm a male." He said, as if it explained everything. "They didn't tell me much, just that you existed when they kicked you out for being male."

Kio shrugged and grabbed his father by the arm. He pulled him into a hug. "I miss you, you know…"

The audience let out a chorus of 'aw'.

"You too." Ryo awkwardly pat his son's shoulder.

They separated and Maury smiled at them. "Chouma? Now that you know the truth, are you still going into hiding?"

"Oh, hell yes." She giggled. She scratched at her forehead, moving her headband a little to reveal the letters 't' and 'h' in small print on her temple. "I don't have a choice in this matter, unfortunately, but I shall indeed return." She smirked, kissed her brother's forehead, then her father's, and stumbled off stage left.

Kio quickly followed after her, leaving Ryo with Maury.

"You might have a granddaughter, you know." Maury told him.

"Kio's made me well aware." Ryo nodded. "Guess you'll have to wait for him to come back out here."

Maury looked to the camera. "We'll be right back!"