CHAPTER TWENTY

First period Tuesdays I had my Slytherin First Years. This included Selena Spinks, who was obviously in a fighting mood.

''I read the first two chapters. There's nothing in there that will be in our OWLs. Mother says Hogwarts doesn't put enough emphasis on preparing students for future employment.''

I noticed the eleven year old enunciating a lot of her words carefully. I wondered how much of that she completely understood. ''Well Ms. Spinks, if you're worried that the next five years won't leave you with enough time to study for your Ordinaries, I suggest you look at the study guides I prepared.''

''Sir?''

''The study guides, Ms. Spinks.'' I gestured to the shelves at the side of the room. ''I mentioned them in our first class together. While the Department of Magical Education doesn't allow me to post answers from recent OWLs, the questions really haven't changed much in several decades. There are are still questions in it about tape recorders, for Mer - God's sake. But if you want to begin studying for your OWLs now, then I've prepared a study guide for you. I appreciate your interest in the subject, and of course I'm available to tutor anyone who wants to put in a little extra work after class.''

A couple of students snickered. I ignored it. The girl glared at me. She had arched brows and a narrow aquiline nose that gave her an excellent glare.

''Of course, I hadn't assigned any reading just yet. So ten points to Slytherin, Ms. Spinks. Make it twenty, since you read two chapters. Excellent work.''

About a third of my students stuck their hands up. ''I'm sorry, but there's a limit to how many points I can award for the same thing. Those of you with your hands up, please leave them up. I'll ask you questions from the first chapter, and award five points per right answer until we get to forty. Mr. Brown, what room does the book begin with?''

''The master bedroom sir. That was where babies were born.''

So much for my question to the next student. Oh well. ''Good work, five points to Slytherin.'' I picked another student at random.

''Ms. Gracian, do you know - ''

''Sorry sir, I have a Professor question.''

''Pardon?''

The half-Veela girl blushed. Over-excitable, easily embarrassed, and 'gifted' with a magical glamour that turned her male classmates into horny gibbering idiots. Poor kid. ''I have a question, Professor.''

''All right, the rest of you can lower your arms for a minute or two. What's your question, Ms. Gracian?''

''All of these people are dead sir. And Queen Victoria died, I dunno, forever ago...''

''Nineteen oh-one. Hardly even yesterday, from a historical perspective.''

''Uh... Yes sir. But I thought we were supposed to be learning about Muggles. I mean, Muggles now?''

''We are.'' I walked to the front of the class, where I'd taped a couple of diagrams to the wall next to the blackboard. I tapped the picture on the blackboard. ''This is the floorplan I drew yesterday, when you all told me what a Wizarding house looks like. Next to it is a floorplan of a Muggle house from the Victorian Era, the kind of house you're reading about. And this is a floorplan of a modern Muggle house. It's the kind of house a Muggle family would be very happy to live in now. Now Ms. Gracian, out of these three floorplans which ones look the most alike to you?''

''The Muggle ones, Professor.''

''That's because they're the same house, Ms. Gracian. This is the original floorplan, from when the house was built in Eighteen Eighty-Three. And this is the newer floorplan from when the house went on the market in Two Thousand and Twelve. You can see there have been some changes. The kitchen is smaller now, and they've opened the dining and living rooms up into one big space. We'll discuss the reason for these changes in this class.

''But most Muggles live and die within one hundred miles of the place where they were born, and that's close to where their parents and grandparents were born. They take the Underground to go to work, they get fresh water from municipal water systems built in Queen Victoria's reign, they drive and shop on roadways that were broadened or built during her reign, they play or watch sports that had their rules written down in the Victorian Era.''

I stopped and walked back to the front of the class. ''I could go on, but my point is that the Victorian Era is the foundation of current British Muggle life. So in this class we'll start with the foundation and build from that. And you will all learn the official answers to the Muggle Studies OWLs, and you will all learn just how little the Ministry really knows about Muggle life.''

And hopefully by the end of it all, you will all know enough to realize just how stupid the Ministry's approach to Muggle affairs really is. And hopefully you will be smart enough to be angry.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

I managed to get the class back on track after that. We discussed Muggle money, and I showed them modern plastic currency and pointed out the security features embedded in it. After that I assigned them the first chapter to read, and handed out a bunch of safety brochures for them to look at. The kind of 'stop drop and roll' and 'don't stick forks in electrical plugs' stuff you can find in primary schools. In our next class I'd ask them questions about modern homes and the hazards in them, and why those hazards were there in the first place.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

Second Period I supervised Dance. Minerva McGonagall had introduced an Athletics program at Hogwarts, with the students having Dance three times a week and something called portal-lacrosse twice a week. Galilea Grimward continued that program, with the addition that they were now mixed classes. Slytherins, Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors, and Ravenclaws all had to learn to play together.

Vincent Goyle turned out to remarkably light on his feet. I put him to work helping other First Years with their footwork.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

Third Period I had Ravenclaw Third Years. Lord knows 'Claws aren't all brilliant, but they all had questions. After a fifteen minute interrogation about the morning's headlines I managed to drag the class back on subject. I turned things around and asked a few questions of my own, and discovered that thirteen year old Purebloods were aware of electricity but thought it was a type of tiny invisible House-Elf. It lived in walls and did work. What else could it be?

I distributed more safety brochures and made a note to organize some field trips. These kids needed practical demonstrations of electromagnets and electrical motors.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

Lunch found me under the Marauder's Map, sitting on Galilea's low couch and turning the Sorting Hat around in my hands. Galilea signed various papers at her desk while watching me from the corner of her eye. Finally I bit the bullet and pulled the Hat on.

''Again?'' Asked that deep, rumbling voice in my head. ''Slytherin,'' it said aloud.

''Not this time,'' I said, sub-vocalizing the words a bit. ''I have questions for you. Neville says you offered him Slytherin as an alternate House, and he tried to argue for Hufflepuff. And Galilea tells me you offer everyone a choice. You can't just dump me in Slytherin. Where's my choice in the matter?''

''I offer children choices. You've already made yours. Or have you forgotten how you managed to pass grade twelve algebra, hmm?''

I blushed. ''Okay, that was stupid.'' It worked, but it was stupid. It could have really blown up in my face. ''But I was a teenager. I've grown out of that sort of thing.''

''Says the man sleeping with his boss.''

''Damn it!'' I yanked the Hat off and thumped it down on the couch.

Galilea put her quill down and studied me, smiling slightly. ''Is the Hat being difficult, Geoffrey?''

''Little bit, yeah.'' I carried the Sorting Hat back to its place on the shelf, between Confronting the Faceless and Secrets of the Darkest Art. Looking at the wrinkles and folds of leather, I swear the stupid thing was smirking at me. I left it there and walked over to Galilea, moving behind her chair.

A few strands of hair had slipped lose from their bun. I brushed them back. ''So have I mentioned lately that I really respect the work you've done at Hogwarts?''

She made a thoughtful noise. ''The Hat must have hit you quite hard.''

''Maybe.'' The sound of rock grinding against rock came through the office door.

''Before you go off to lick your wounds, I recommend you ask Professor Longbottom the details of what he puts into my perfumes.'' She gave my hand a quick squeeze. I stepped back and went over to the chairs in front of her desk.

The door to her office slid open. Ewart Fairbairn and Neville Longbottom came through.

''Neville, you're fussing like you're the boy's granny.''

''Now that's not fair. Hello Headmistress, Geoffrey.'' Neville fixed Fairbairn with a glare as they came over to the chairs. ''He has another detention already, and his father is worried about his classwork.''

''Are you fussing about James Potter again?'' I asked Neville as we all sat down.

''I am not fussing.''

''The boy'll be fine,'' I said to Neville. ''He just needs a girlfriend to give him a bit of focus. Some men never amount to anything in life unless they've got a woman's boot on their arse.''

Neville stared at me in shock. Then he burst out laughing. ''I've ten Galleons for you if you'll say that to Harry. No, better. Twenty if you'll say it to Harry while his wife and Hermione are in the room.''

Galilea chuckled. ''When you gentlemen are done with plotting against The Boy Who Copied His Friend's Classwork, I believe we have matters of security to discuss.''

''Shouldn't Professor Theobrosan be here?'' Asked Fairbairn.

''In light of recent events, the Board has requested that Professor Hunter present himself for an interview - ''

''Ah crap,'' I muttered.

Galilea went on. ''I've set Professor Theobrosan to negotiate the details of that interview. I hope that we can arrange matters more to our advantage. And I hope to hear good news in this meeting. It would be useful to have something positive to present to the Board.''

Neville shook his head. ''Nothing on my end, I'm afraid. Those two that you hospitalized at the restaurant don't know much. They were hired by the third man, the one who died of the rebounded Charm, and not told much other than to kill you and Geoffrey. Ron Weasley is trying to track the activities of that third man over the past few weeks, to find who he might have been working for.'' Neville shrugged. ''More in the line of good news, I know a few of the people he's assigned to watch you two. They're very good. You'll not see them unless they want you to.''

''It's the same on my end,'' said Professor Fairbairn. ''This One Hundred group is either very quiet or very new. No one outside the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has heard of them. My contacts do know that they've attracted support from a number of Blood Supremacists and hardcore Isolationists, and they've spewed out all sorts of nasty rhetoric, but they don't seem to have done much of anything yet. Or if they have done, it's all been hush-hush.''

''Huh. Them being new might explain it,'' I said.

''Might explain what?'' Galilea asked.

''Well, you're no duellist - ''

''We need to fix that,'' said Fairbairn.

''Good idea. If you're going to be under threat, you should get the training to deal with it. You're no duellist,'' I went on. ''But you are the Head Teacher at Hogwarts. And you don't get to be the Head Teacher without being very good in at least a couple of fields of magic. But Weasley told me that two of our attackers were known to the DME, and from the way he described them they didn't sound like professional assassins. Just a couple of petty thugs. And you don't send petty thugs against a witch who can knock out a man with a thought, like you did with that reporter yesterday.''

Neville nodded. ''Unless you don't have the experience to know better, or the resources to do otherwise. I suppose Ron will have thought of this already, but I'll mention it to him.''

''Lovely,'' said Galilea. She scowled. ''Being attacked by amateurs was bad enough, thank you. What would a professional attack be like?''

''You'd never see me coming,'' said Ewart Fairbairn. ''And I wouldn't use something easily blocked, like an Expulso. Which is why you need some basic defensive training.''

''Yes, I suppose we could arrange that for one of my many moments of spare time.'' Galilea sighed. ''I have a block of time open Tuesday evenings, and another on Thursday evenings. Will that do?''

''No. But I'll take what I can get. Are you two still on for the Three Broomsticks on Wednesday?''

''Yes,'' Galilea and I both said. Galilea went on. ''And the Zoo on Saturday. Those dates are non-negotiable.''

''I'll warn Ron,'' said Neville.

''Good,'' said Fairbairn. ''That's personal security dealt with. About school security...''

''I've dealt with that,'' said Galilea. ''I've sent out a letter to the Board of Governors. Midnight tonight I will raise a number of the wards here - ''

''Lethal?'' Asked Fairbairn.

''No, merely painful. Any permanent scarring should be purely psychological. I'm not quite ready to liquefy intrusive parents or members of the press. Yet.''