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18. Answering Jenova's Call

Zack shed clothing as he ran. Cloud had got in a lucky shot but it had knocked him out long enough for his friend to get out of the cabin. When he came around a few minutes later Cloud was gone. Zack ran after the footprints in the snow, shifting forms as he went. When he was fully wolfed out he put his head down, opened his nose and sprinted the way only a wolf can.

Cloud's vampire speed had taken him as far as a small gully on the downward slope by the time Zack caught up with him. Back at the cabin Zack had tried to reason with his friend. This time he just landed on him with all four paws on his back. Cloud landed face-down, but instead of fighting against Zack he only fought to get free so he could keep moving.

"I have to go," he intoned. "They're calling me. I have to go."

Snap out of it, buddy! Zack wanted to shout. Instead all that came out were grunts and growls that would have made real wolves look at him askance. He crouched, bearing all his weight down on his friend to pin him in place. If Cloud had been firing on all cylinders he probably could have thrown him off, but Cloud was too obsessed with answering the call to think logically. Alpha? What do I do now?

Alpha paced around the scene, silent and invisible. Can't hold him forever.

I know that! Tell me what to do instead!

Jenova-calamity-monster calling her kin. Brother-Cloud is her kin and your kin. Puppy must be louder than Jenova-calamity-monster.

How do I do that?

Puppy knows Brother-Cloud better than Alpha.

That was true. It didn't actually help though. Knowing Cloud better than anyone else didn't mean Zack could reason with him when he was like this. Cloud's eyes were red and glassy, his movements and speech robotic. This wasn't like before, when he had been so hungry and desperate he had drunk from Zack and then guiltily fought his own nature. This was more like pigeons flying home, or salmon swimming upstream to their breeding grounds, or frogs travelling long distances to the ponds of their birth. Those kinds of powerful animal instincts were irrational and frequently got those afflicted by them killed. Zack could see Alpha's memories of wolves across the world snapping up easy meals that way. Jenova was appealing to the basest part of her vampires' brains if she was able to invoke a homing instinct to bring them to her. Could reason ever compete with something so ancient and powerful?

Impossible as it seemed, Zack had to try. He couldn't let her have Cloud. Unable to think of anything else, he started to shift back to human. He needed a mouth and working vocal chords. When he was partway through the change he stopped, thankful he had managed to retain his claws and some of his weight. He was getting more practised. Cloud bucked, but Zack sank what were now elongated fingernails into his shoulders and dug deep, hoping the pain would shock Cloud out of his stupor long enough to hear him.

"Your name is Cloud Strife," Zack yelled. "Your mom's name was Dala and your dad's name was Skye. You grew up in Nibelheim, on Mount Nibel. You hate being called a country bumpkin. You joined Shinra because you wanted to become a SOLDIER and fight the vampires. We're best friends, you and me, Zack and Cloud. You secretly hate Midgar but you always refused to go home until you were part of the SOLDIER programme because you promised some girl that's what you'd do. You went against that to help me when I needed volunteers for a mission to the Nibelheim reactor. You fought Sephiroth and you beat him. Do you hear me, Cloud? You beat Sephiroth after he turned vampire. If you could do that, you can do anything. So fight her, Cloud. Fight Jenova and whatever she's doing to you. You fought the Silver General, so you can beat some crummy proto-vamp who should've died thousands of years ago. You. Can. Beat. Her. C'mon, buddy. C'mon, Cloud, do it for me. Come on! Fight her!" His voice rasped on the last few words, becoming more of a roar.

Cloud kicked and struggled throughout the tirade. At the end, however, he went suddenly still, every muscle taut like he had been tasered. His eyes widened, pupils dilating from slits into regular circles. He blinked, turning his head awkwardly to see behind him.

"Z-Zack?" He spoke with a vague lisp due to his lengthened fangs. "Is that you?"

Zack knew his grin wasn't pretty with so many teeth. "Hi, buddy. Nice to have you back with us."

Cloud blinked rapidly. "I … I heard you …" His eyes widened again. "But I can still hear them. They're still calling me." Fear filled his voice. "Zack, what's going on?"

"Shh, don't worry," Zack reassured him, not removing his own weight yet. Cloud seemed in no hurry to get up anymore and Zack wasn't sure what would happen if he allowed him to get loose.

"Why is there a woman's voice inside my head, Zack?" Cloud sounded panicked. "I can hear him too. Sephiroth. But … he's dead. I know he's dead. I was there when he died. Why is he in my head? Zack, am I … am I going mad? I've been having so many awful dreams lately, about biting you and trying to … to jump off the … and … oh god, they weren't dreams …"

"Don't panic," Zack said hastily. "I'm fine, see? Well, apart from the fur and teeth." Something swished behind him. "And tail, but that's a bonus. You'll always know I'm glad to see you when I'm wagging this thing. It has a life of its own."

Cloud continued to blink up at him and tremble. Zack could feel the muscle tremors through his paws. "Zack, what's happening to me? They keep telling me to come to them, and want to, but I don't want to at the same time. My head feels like it's about to explode if I don't go. How do I make it stop?"

"I don't know, buddy, but whatever it is, I'll fix it."

"It's because I'm a vampire," Cloud said with grim certainty. "You can't fix vampirism, Zack. It's been proven. There's no cure once you've been bitten."

Zack resisted the urge to grind his teeth. He might break his own jaws if he did. Shinra scientists had claimed there was no cure, but apparently they hadn't been as truthful as they should have been about a lot of things. Doubts clawed at him, but none of them actually turned into words he could use.

Puppy, Alpha interrupted, your mate. She heals what science cannot.

Aerith? She had healed him of his wounds more than once, but … vampirism? No. human magic wasn't unheard of – Cissnei and the Turks were proof of that – but humans weren't built for magic. Humans who could use it were genetic anomalies. No way could Aerith do something like –

Not human,said Alpha. Not fully.

"What?" Zack said out loud before he could stop himself.

Elf, said Alpha. Last elf in the world. Jenova-calamity-monster killed others.

"But she was stuck in Nibelheim since they dug her up. How did she –?"

Puppets. Devotees. Scientists who do her bidding make Shinra think some people carriers of vampire virus. Shinra hunt down. Kill all. Elves threat to her. Elves have own magic. Jenova-calamity-monster fears it. Elf magic help stop her before. She trying to wipe it out. Powerful magic, once. Nearly gone now, but not Puppy's mate. She has old magic. She heals.

Aerith was an elf? Zack couldn't believe it. Elves were just myths and legends. And yet … everyone had thought vampires were legends until Jenova. He had thought spirit animals were myths before he was possessed by one. There were a lot of things that weren't supposed to exist but, apparently, did.

"Zack?" Cloud's voice was strained, as if he was fighting a tremendous inner battle. "I … I c-can't … they're so loud … I want t-to …" He was starting to struggle again, his eyes become glassy and his pupils thinning to slits. They fluctuated, thinning and rounding as he fought to maintain lucidity.

"Aerith!" Zack blurted before he could think better of it. He had to give Cloud a reason to fight and win. The prospect of fighting Jenova and Sephiroth's call, only to live a life of constant self-loathing and bloodlust would make anyone want to give up and jump off a cliff. Or, worse, go back to that senseless stupor where he didn't have to think or feel anything anymore. "You remember her, buddy?"

"Your g-girlfriend?" Cloud asked uncomprehendingly.

"Yup. She can heal you. She can put you back to the way you were, before you got bitten."

"She can?" The hope in Cloud's tone was heart-breaking. If Alpha was wrong …

Zack refused to think about it. Instead, he pasted on a smile and said, "Uh-huh. So you gotta fight the voices, okay? You gotta fight them so we can get you back to Midgar and she can heal you. I'm done carrying your sorry ass around. You can carry yourself the rest of the way."

"S-So … loud …" Cloud murmured. "I have to … have to go to them …"

"No, you don't!" Zack shook him, sending up a flurry of powdery snow. "You ignore them. You fight them. You block them out. You do not listen to them and you do not do what they say, okay? You listen to me instead. Okay, Cloud?"

Cloud blinked glassily.

"Cloud!" Zack yelled. "Stay with me, damn it! I need you!"

Slowly, Cloud nodded. "Okay. I'll try."

"Nu-uh. Tell me you'll do it."

"But I –"

"Tell me!"

"Okay," Cloud replied, exhausted. "I'll do it."

"Atta boy." Inwardly, Zack hoped he hadn't just pinned both their futures on a lie. He had wondered what their next move would be, other than survival. Now they had a destination and a goal: the most stupid, impractical, gonna-getcha-killed-messily-and-painfully goal they could have picked.

They were going to walk into the heart of Midgar, facing all the people who wanted to kill, recapture and put them back in those stinking labs, and ask the last living elf to also risk revealing herself to Shinra in the possibly futile attempt to heal a vampire and make him human again. And Zack also had to apologise for being very late for his date with Aerith.

In comparison, saving the world seemed like a piece of cake.

"Zack?"

"Hmm?" He was too comfortable for conversation. Things had been hectic lately and he had few opportunities to kick back and just relax. "What is it?"

"Look at me for a second, will you?"

He opened his eyes. Aerith's head was pillowed on his chest, but she had twisted around to look up at him. Her bare feet shifted against his leg. She had tiny feet. She had tried on his boots for a joke once and fallen over after two steps.

"I'm looking," he said. "What is it?"

"Have you been scheduled for a mission soon?"

He didn't like talking about work with her. When he was with her, he wanted to forget about missions, vampires, and the rest of the Shinra shebang. Politics were everywhere these days and he was no good at that kind of thing. If it weren't for helping Cloud train up for the SOLDIER exam and spending time with Aerith, his life would be a nonstop round of field work, lab tests and politics. Talking about work when he was below the Plate felt wrong.

"Zack?"

"Yeah," he replied. "But just a little one. Inspecting a reactor and checking up on the team there. President Shinra is planning to holiday in the frozen north, he says, so he wants us to ensure his mansion is vamp-free. It's not a biggie. There haven't been any confirmed reports of virus activity in the area, so I should be there and back within a week." He grinned. "Why? Will you miss me?"

She bit her lip. "Of course, but …"

"What's the matter?" Zack frowned. Aerith wasn't quite as innocent as he had thought when he first met her. She was clued into the black market down here; it was how she used to get hold of all her seeds and saplings, before she met him. It hadn't taken long for him to realise he couldn't impress her with regular gifts like jewellery or fancy dinners and started bringing her plants instead. People down here closed ranks against people from above; they protected each other. Aerith in particular, ad their 'Flower Girl', merited protection from some pretty shady characters. Her connections ran deeper than he had ever asked. He wondered now whether they had brought her news that hadn't come his way. "Aerith? You never ask about my work. What's happened?"

"You will be careful out there, won't you?"

Her question made him pause. "What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer it."

"I'm just saying, it sounds like a loaded question. Did you have one of your dreams again?" She sometimes dreamt of things happening far away, like the clairvoyants he had heard about. She said she wasn't one, but there was no denying that Aerith could do things regular people couldn't.

Magic-users were part myth, part urban legend, and part truth, given what Cissnei had accidentally-on-purpose let slip about essential criteria for being a Turk. Coupled with her healing ability, even if Aerith was a clairvoyant only in her sleep she was a prime recruitment candidate. If news of what she could do reached Shinra, the Turks would approach her. No wonder her friends below the Plate looked at him with such suspicion. Zack couldn't imagine Aerith as a Turk, so he kept her secrets too.

"I … had a dream," Aerith admitted.

"What about?"

"Red eyes." Her fingers bunched into a fist around a handful of his shirt. "Snow. Broken glass. Shiny metal."

"Sounds like your dreams are as clear as ever."

She sat up. Deprived of her warmth, Zack also levered himself onto his elbows. Around him, the heads of flowers bobbed and leaves brushed his forearms. He didn't know their names, but Aerith could list off every plant in the church without pausing for breath. She faced away from him now, her shoulders hunched.

What was going on? "Talk to me, Aerith."

"What's the name of the place you're going to?"

"Nibelheim. Have you ever been there?"

"No."

He knew she hadn't been born in the slums, but she was cagey about her life before that. It had taken months for Zack to find out she and Elmyra Gainsborough weren't blood related, and that though Aerith had come to live with her when she was four, the adoption papers hadn't been drawn up until she was eleven. Aerith had confessed these things as if they were a big secret, though Zack couldn't think why Then again, he had secrets about his past he hadn't yet shared with her. He wasn't in a position to judge.

"Have you heard something about Nibelheim from your, uh, 'friends'?" he asked.

"No."

"Then why are you acting so weird?"

"I'm a weird person."

"Aerith." He sat up and turned her to face him. He was shocked to see tears in her eyes. "Something's wrong, and I don't think it's just a bad dream that's got you so upset. Is your mom okay?"

"She's fine."

"Are you okay?"

Aerith dragged a wrist across her face. She couldn't afford make-up, so there were no mascara smears. Thinking it was the kind of thing girls liked, Zack once tried to give her a box of expensive cosmetics, but she had given them to her mom instead. He had been offended until she explained she didn't want to feel like she wasn't good enough the way she was. His reaction to her action was something of a test: would he accept her as she came, or would he try to change her to be more like the pretty girls above the Plate? He kind of understood, just like he kind of understood why she was uncomfortable eating at above-Plate restaurants, or why shopping wasn't the big deal for her that it was for other girls he had dated. She was more comfortable getting dirt under her fingernails or hitching her skirts to fix the hole in her neighbour's roof than trying on strappy shoes or eating oysters. He wanted to be accepted for the person he was too, not just as a trophy SOLDIER, or used for his stipend. Considering how many people had tried to talk her out of dating him, there was no way him being SOLDIER would ever be something Aerith could boast about. SOLDIERs represented everything slum-dwellers hated about Shinra. In or out of uniform, to them Zack would always be an unwelcome outsider trying to steal away their Flower Girl.

"I'm fine," she replied. "It's you I'm worried about."

"Me?" Zack was nonplussed. "I just came through my last medical with flying colours."

"I know, I just …" Hesitating a moment, she blurted, "I worry about something bad happening to you, okay? I know it's stupid because you can take care of yourself, and you're a First Class so you've clearly already proven how capable you are, but I do. Worry, I mean. A lot. About you. Because you mean a lot to me."

Zack smiled. How could he not? "Nothing bad is going to happen to me."

"You say that now." She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes again. "These aren't tears, by the way. I just got some soil in my eye."

"Both of them?"

"Yes, both of them. We're lying in a flowerbed, Zack."

"I noticed." On impulse he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back down with him. She squeaked, but he didn't let go. "You're cute when you get all googly-eyed."

"Excuse me? I am not googly-eyed!"

"Uh-huh. It's soil. I heard you."

"Jerk."

He laughed. "I love you too."

She stopped struggling and froze in his arms.

"Aerith?"

"You shouldn't say that."

"Why not?"

"Because you shouldn't."

"I got that part. Why shouldn't I?"

"If I explain, you'll just think I'm being a girl."

"Aerith, you are a girl." He kissed the top of her head. She smelled of compost, those little flowers she always wore and cheap shampoo. Somehow it worked on her without being gross. "It's one of the things I like about you."

"There's a difference between being a girl and being a girl," she insisted.

"Explain it to me."

"Being a girl means I just have the right, um, body parts."

"And very lovely they are, too."

"Shut up!" She smacked his stomach, since he was holding her too close for her to reach anywhere else. "Being a girl means being corny and mushy and putting too much emphasis on little things."

"Like saying 'I love you'."

"Yes. Like saying I love you."

"So why shouldn't I say it? Don't worry about being a girl, just explain it to me. Why shouldn't I say 'I love you'?"

She sighed. Her breath tickled his inner arm. "You shouldn't say it unless you mean it. Properly. It's not just a throwaway phrase. It should mean something more than when you say 'I love these shoes' or 'I love my sword' or 'I love eating chill dogs'."

"You mean chilli dogs aren't romantic?"

"Shut up! You're making fun of me. See what I mean about being a total girl?"

Zack smiled. "But Aerith," he said softly, "I do mean it. Properly," he added.

She tried to lift her head. He relaxed his hold enough for her to do so, bracing her arms with hands flat on his chest. "What?"

"I love you."

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and then abruptly pulled it back. He was too focussed on her eyes to notice. She was always weird about her ears, as if the universe would put on the brakes and come to a screeching halt if she showed them. "Are you just saying that to make me feel less stupid?"

"Nope."

"Seriously?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"You told me you knew a lot about plants and then handed me poison ivy while claiming it was honeysuckle."

"I said I was sorry! My SOLDIER healing stopped me from being affected so I didn't know that would happen to you!"

She grinned. "I know; you were just lying to impress me. I'm kidding." Her expression faded. "I … love you too." She ducked her head. "Wow, it feels weird to say that sincerely."

"You're not being sincere?"

She scrambled up his body so her lips reached his. "Does that feel insincere?"

"I don't know." He pulled her in for another, deeper kiss. When they parted he pantomimed thinking, and then shook his head. "Still not sure."

"Zack!" she laughed.

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep trying until I'm completely sure of your sincerity. It's the scientific way of doing things."

She brushed hair from his eyes, looking down at him with a curious expression. "Well if it's for the betterment of science."

"And because it's fun."

"I guess I can live with that." She kissed him, long and lingering, then nestled her face in his neck. "I love you, Zack. Please don't do anything reckless while you're away. I couldn't stand it if you weren't around anymore. I … I still have so much I want to share with you."

"With you to come back to, I'll be taking extra care. Don't worry; I'm not going anywhere."

To be continued …

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