CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

The Apparatus and I popped back into reality just beside the guardhouse at the main gates. I staggered away from him, my stomach flip-flopping. A thick mist hung over the ground, and I think the shock of the cold air washing over me was the only reason I didn't lose my breakfast.

''If you can't handle Apparating you should've said so before you hired me,'' said the Apparatus.

I took a couple of deep breathes in the cold mountain air. ''That was the roughest Apparation I've ever been through.''

The Apparatus shrugged. ''Not my problem. Five Galleons.''

I counted out his money and memorized his face. I wouldn't be hiring that guy again. As soon as he had his money he muttered something about useless Squibs and then Disapparated away. I shook my head to clear away the last of the nausea and started up the path to Hogwarts Castle.

Over the centuries Hogwarts had been known by many names. The bridge over the Black Laich leads up from Hogsmeade, the middle land of the estate, towards the holy sward on Wart's Howe. In the 10th Century refugees from the depredations of the Vikings and the expanding Anglo-Saxon kingdoms came to Oighreachd-Meadhanach, and with them came a pig-farmer named Hengist of Woodcroft. Hengist set up his hog farm in a meadow in the place the new settlers could barely pronounce as Ograch-Meadach, and that's when the etymology got really messy.

Normally the bridge would have offered a nice view over the Forbidden Forest to one side and the Black Lake to the other, but today an icy fog had settled into the bottom of the valley between Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. A lighter fog all around kept me from seeing Shibley until she was almost on top of me.

In fog or mist ghosts look like a walking raincloud. In cold mist they look like snowglobes. Glittering slightly and leaving a trail of frost behind her, Shibley fell into place next to me.

''Were you able to Floo straight home?''

''Aye, th' Brounies hae it ready fur ye. Billy Blin speart if ye want tae ward-gate it, sae as only named fowk main floo in.''

''That's a good idea.'' As we came closer to the fairy tale castle I heard voices in the fog. A group of Fifth or Sixth Years passed us by on the path to the village. I didn't recognize any of them but they waved at me and I waved back.

''Did ye nae intend tae swatch at a flat aff Diagon Alley?''

''I changed my mind.'' Neville had described the flat to me. It had a Wizarding-style kitchen, which would mean I'd either have to eat out every day or buy a lot of expensive Charmed appliances and utensils. It was a one-bedroom as well, so assuming Shibley wanted to come with me that wouldn't give her any more space than she had now. And assuming she didn't want to leave Hogwarts, why would I move? ''I'll apply for a permanent residence here at Hogwarts. Hopefully I can get something where I don't have to share a bathroom with students.''

The great oak doors opened and let us into the relative dry of the entrance hall. I stopped in the doorway, startled by the circus someone had obviously decided to pitch in the hall.

A Riddle-fragment snapped and hissed at the Fat Friar, while he tried to comfort a student huddled up on the floor. Peeves darted through the air like an out of control bottle rocket, laughing and whooping at the scene below. And below Peeves and the Riddle ghost stood Belladonna Black, yelling at both of them and waving her wand like a drunken redneck brandishing a shotgun.

''Shibley, go help the Friar. Follow his instructions.'' I left Shibley to her work and walked over to the Riddle-fragment, ignoring Professor Black as she shrieked at Peeves.

Tom Riddle had feared death the way newborns fear birth, and had faced it screaming and crying. In life Tom Riddle had torn his self to shreds trying to achieve immortality. In death none of his many ghosts were whole. This one was all skin and bones, a torn hide over a broken skeleton. It's skin hung from it like old soft leather and its eyes were empty sockets.

''Hi Tom. Looks like you're having fun.''

When I spoke the Riddle-fragment turned on me, hissing and snarling. If it had been more whole I would have expected to see spittle on its lips.

''Having a boring day, Tom? Is that why the greatest Dark wizard in history is picking on an eleven year old girl?''

The thing howled and snarled, its transparent face only an inch or two away from me. It let out a string of rattling noises and long drawn out hisses.

''Isn't this just a bit beneath you? You really can't think of anything better to do with your time?''

Well no, what was left of Riddle probably couldn't think of anything better than bullying children. He had been bat-shit insane, after all. But the suggestion shut the ghost up for a few seconds. So long as it was paying attention to me and not the student...

''I mean, really, Tom. People used to be scared to say your name out loud. Now you're not even as scary as Peeves.''

The fragment shrieked. Rolling its head on its broken neck the fragment pointed its fingers between my eyes and opened its mouth impossibly wide. It said the first intelligible words I'd ever heard any of the Riddle-fragments say.

''Avada Kedavra.''

''Sure, Tom. How many times has that backfired on you?'' Given the history and superstitions of the Wizarding World I could understand why its children were scared of this thing. But up against an adult Muggle it wasn't even as scary as a two year old throwing a tantrum. I risked a glance aside and saw that Shibley and the Fat Friar had lead the student over to the stairs. I took a deep breath to fight anger when I saw that the girl was one of my Purebloods.

''Avada Kedavra Avada Kedavra ...''

''Take a breath before you pass out, Tom.''

The fragment screamed again, a high-pitched screech of rage that stabbed into my ears and echoed off the entrance hall's stone walls. Its mouth opened wider, jaw unhinging like a snake's and skin ripping as it stretched. The jaw kept stretching open, a gaping maw that eclipsed the rest of its skull.

''Tom, you know this is just going to end with you Hallowlighted again. Is it worth the effort?''

The fragment suddenly darted away from me, jaw snapping shut. It looked at me with its empty eye-sockets.

''Go before you get hurt, Tom.''

It slithered away through the air, body swaying as though it were a water-snake. It 'swam' up the stairway, Shibley and my student flinching as it passed over them, and then it was away down the first floor corridor.

The Fat Friar was gone, hopefully to find help. Shibley seemed to be doing a good job comforting the girl, my First Year student Selena Spinks. I turned my attention back to Peeves and my colleague Professor Belladonna Black.

Showing the famed judgement skills of the Black family, Belladonna fired off a stream of silvery lightning at the cackling imp. Laughing like a cartoon character Peeves dodged. The silver blast hit the rail of the grand staircase, exploding into a rain of sparks.

Rolling in the air and chortling, Peeves easily dodged another bolt and mocked Black. ''Ooooh this is fun! Look at the professor jump!''

God, whose idea was it to leave a poltergeist running around a school full of young kids? Not that Black was much better. Screaming at the top of her lungs, Black gave up on trying to blast Peeves and took a swing at him when he came near her. Christ on crutches, what does it take to get someone banned from working with kids in the Wizarding World?

And now the disgusting little imp was picking its nose, while a Hogwarts professor shrieked incoherently and tried to throttle an indestructible spirit of pure chaos.

I bit my cheek and tried to carry on calmly. Shibley was trying to comfort Selena Spinks, while the pale girl sat hunched over on the stairs. Selena was crying incoherently as I sat next to her. She flinched when I sat down, so I scooted away an extra couple of inches. I hadn't thought I'd sat that close to her, but a lot of the students didn't seem to be comfortable with me yet.

''Hi Miss Spinks,'' I tried to keep my voice calm and soothing. ''That looked like it was pretty scary. Are you hurt?''

Hunched over and sobbing, the blonde girl still tried to glare at me. The effect was ruined by her wet face and the little bubble of snot at one nostril. I started digging around in my pockets while Selena struggled to catch her breath. ''I'm not - '' She gulped. ''Not a a a little - '' She took a deep burbling breath through her nose. *Shnurk*.

I found my Kleenexes and offered her a couple before she could speak again. She snatched them out of my hands and blew her nose on one. Then she used the other to wipe her eyes. While she did that I looked over to Black and Peeves.

Black was sitting cross-legged on the floor, scowling like a sulky child. Peeves poked her in the side, laughed, and poked her again. ''Stop it,'' whined Black. Peeves poked her again. ''Stop it.''

Lockhart, psychopathic Death Eaters, and Professor Belladonna Black. Obviously part of Hogwarts' mandate was to provide work opportunities for crazy people. It was the only way to explain their hiring decisions.

I looked back at Selena Spinks and caught her looking at me. She quickly looked down at the stairs. I offered her the rest of my Kleenex. She took them without looking at me, and said thank you very quietly. She muttered something that sounded like I'm sorry, and blew her nose again.

''Are you hurt, Miss Spinks?''

''No.''

Peeves blew a loud raspberry at Black and vanished. Black stayed sulking on the floor. I shook my head and muttered ''Lunatic'' under my breath.

''They're all like that,'' said Selena. ''The whole family is wrong.''

Before I could say anything to that I heard a noise on the landing above the entrance hall. I looked up and saw the Fat Friar and Idris Isgar coming down the stairs. I patted Selena on the shoulder. ''Here's your House Father. Would you rather talk to him?''

''Uh-huh.''

I stood up and let Idris take my place. Against my better judgement I went over to check on Belladonna Black. She was still sitting on the floor, scowling and holding her head cocked at an odd angle.

Once I edited out phrases like crazy bitch, trigger-happy lunatic, not fit to work with minors, and mad cow, I realized that I really didn't have much to say to the dark-haired witch. Before I could decide what to say she scowled up at me, put her fingers on her lips, and then swept her wand through the air. ''Finite Disillusio.''

I heard someone yelp in surprise and looked up. A wizard wearing a strange sparkling orange poncho stood by the half-open doors. He looked at Black and I with a shocked expression. I saw the boxy object in his hands, an old-school flip-top camera...

Yelling a string of words I hadn't used since Camp Permafrost I charged the photographer. He yelped again and took off for the doors, jumping through them just before I could get my hands on him. I chased after him just a few steps behind as we ran down the front steps and past a group of students.

I chased the photographer down the front path, almost close enough to grab the poncho as it flapped behind him. Just a couple more steps and...

''Up up up up!'' Yelled the photographer. A broomstick popped up from a pile of muddy grey snow by the path. The wizard and I both leapt at the same time, and I felt the slick material of his poncho slide between my fingers as he hit the broom. I stumbled trying to grab for the broomstick before he got out of reach, and then he was up and heading for the boundaries.

Bolts of red light streaked up into the sky, all missing the photographer as he flew away. I looked back to see Idris and Black casting Stunning Charms from by the doors. They shot a final couple of Stunners, then gave up.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

Galilea sat behind her desk, tapping her wand on its clean surface and watching me as I paced behind Ron Weasley. He stretched out in his chair, tugging his jumper sleeves down over his hands.

''How's that adrenaline, mate? Just about worn off yet?''

''No, God damn it. Stop asking.''

Galilea spoke up. ''Geoffrey...''

I stopped pacing. ''What?''

''You have exactly thirty seconds to calm down.''

''I. Am. Calm.'

''Twenty seven seconds.''

Weasley snorted.

''What's so damn funny?'' I snapped at him.

''You two remind me of a couple I know. He's more of a sulker though.''

''Fifteen seconds.''

''God damn it...'' I took a deep breath. Held it. Exhaled. I really was madder than I should have been. ''Yeah, all right.''

Galilea stopped tapping her wand and gave it a quick flick. Another chair appeared next to Weasley. I took the hint and sat down.

''I was looking forward to the zoo,'' said Ron Weasley. Dressed in jeans and a hideous red and yellow jumper, Ron Weasley looked surprisingly Muggle-ish. ''I haven't had a decent hot dog in ages.''

Tapping her wand on her desk, Galilea turned her attention to the Auror. ''You still think we need to cancel our date?''

''Yep. Sorry.''

Galilea place her wand on her desk. It kept tapping on its own. She put her hand over it to hold it down. ''I don't mind press attention,'' she said.

My foot started to jiggle uncontrollably, the nervous energy finding its way out. I tried to hold it still while listening to Weasley.

''It's not the attention, it's the way he got past the wards here. You've got good anti-Disillusionment wards up. They're enough to give an auror a hard time. You two wandering around a public area full of Muggles is enough of a security problem. If someone out there has developed a new type of Disillusionment Charm...'' He scowled. ''I'm really not happy this.''

I clamped a hand down on my knee. God, that jiggling was going to drive me crazy if I couldn't get it under control. ''All right. Is there anything you can suggest to improve the school wards?''

Weasley shook his head. ''Not until I know what we're dealing with.''

My twitch got worse. Galilea frowned at my jittering foot. She looked up towards the ceiling and spoke. ''Billy Blin, please send a Calming Draught.''

''Good idea. Thanks. I can't seem to stop twitching.''

''It's not for you,'' said Galilea. She let out an exasperated sigh. ''I apologize. I haven't projected like this in years.''

Ron Weasley laughed. ''Now that - '' He shook a finger at Galilea, who turned a bit pink. ''That is blatantly illegal. Familiarizing a Muggle.''

A tiny humanoid appeared on Galilea's desk. I recognized it as the head House Elf, dressed in a kilt and cloak made from blue dish cloths. He gave Galilea a corked ceramic vial, then bowed and disappeared.

''He is not familiarized,'' Galilea said. She was still blushing a bit. ''I just have a natural talent for projection.''

She uncorked the vial and drank its contents. My foot stopped jiggling immediately, and I actually felt calmer. ''What was that about?''

''That was your girlfriend being indiscreet with your nervous system.'' Ron snickered. ''And speaking of indiscreet... Holding hands under the staff table? How old are you two?''

''Oh,'' Galilea said calmly. ''I didn't realize the students could see that.''

My leg started twitching again. Ron crossed his arms and bit his lower lip. He looked like a man working very hard not to laugh. He raised his hand and held his thumb and forefinger close together. ''Maybe a little bit familiarized?''

''Shut it,'' Galilea and I said at the same time. I managed to get my leg under control.

Ron just shook his head and snickered again. He pointed at me. ''Okay, all joking aside, you need Occlumency training if you want to sleep with a mentalist. And it can't come from her. Lucky for you I know a good one, and they want to meet both of you. Are you free for supper tomorrow at the Burrow?''

Galilea and I exchanged quick glances. ''I'm on supervisory duty tomorrow, but I'm free after five,'' I said. Galilea nodded.

''Great. Supper, sevenish. Do you know the Apparation marks for Ottery St Catchpole?''

''Unfortunately, no.''

''No problem. I'll pick you both up at seven.'' Ron stood up and grabbed his Muggle jacket off the back of the chair. ''We'll leave that team of Hit-Wizards on the grounds. I've told Hagrid about them, so they'll be safe from him and Grawp. You should speak to the House-Elves too. When it comes to detecting intruders, it's hard to beat a House-Elf. Headmistress, I need Apparation permission.''

''Granted. And you also have permission to Apparate to my office tomorrow between six-forty-five and seven o'clock.''

''Thanks. All right, see you tomorrow.'' He Disapparated out.

Galilea sighed. I looked back to see her propping her head up on her hands. ''No trip to London, another intruder on the grounds, possibly inadequate wards, and I'm projecting like an untrained child.'' She shook her head.

''Tea?''

''Tea.''