The Words
As Rose dozed, he stroked his hand up and down her back, and whispered, "When you're with me, how do you feel?"
"When I'm with you?" she mumbled into the pillow. She lifted her head slightly and gave him a naughty grin. "Or when I'm with you?"
The Doctor chuckled and leant closer, giving her an affectionate peck on the nose. "Well, I meant that first one, but you can tell me about the second, too, if you like..."
She rolled onto her side to face him more comfortably, and his arm slipped around her waist. "Where's all this come from?" she asked softly, lifting her hand to stroke his sideburn.
He shrugged a shoulder. "I just want to know if we...feel the same things," he murmured, and then he looked embarrassed he'd said it and glanced away from her.
Rose smiled mischievously. "Well, why don't you tell me what you feel, and I'll see if they match up?"
"Ah, no," he disagreed, laughing shakily. "I asked you first, for that exact purpose."
"But Doctor - "
"Rose, please," he interrupted, and as she looked into his eyes she was astounded to see he looked almost...scared.
"Are you really that blind that you don't know?" she asked gently.
He swallowed hard. Rose shifted closer.
"Doctor?" she prompted.
"It's not like I can read your mind from all the way over here," he countered quietly. "How am I supposed to know?"
"Let me think," she retorted sarcastically. "The way I act when I'm with you?"
"But you're human."
"Yeah, so?" she replied, a bit defensively.
"No, I just mean..." he trailed off and sighed, closing his eyes. "I just mean, I don't know what it's like for humans." He cleared his throat slightly. "I don't know if it's the same."
Rose poked his foot with hers. "Please don't worry," she said. "You've got nothing to worry about."
He opened his eyes. "Yeah, but if you don't tell me, how will I ever know how you feel?"
"And vice versa," she pointed out.
"I can't describe it," he mumbled nervously. "I don't know how to...well, I don't know how to go about this."
"Go about what?"
"Having a relationship with you."
"Just go with the flow," she dismissed with a light-hearted smile, internally thrilled that he wanted to be with her properly. Like a couple. She'd hoped for this, but never thought it would come true.
"But what if..."
"What if what?"
He tilted his head towards hers on the pillow they seemed to be sharing at that moment, so close that his nose brushed hers. "What if you leave me before I get the chance to show you?"
"Firstly, I'm never gonna leave you," Rose assured him firmly. She was delighted to see his expression relax somewhat. "Secondly...show me what?"
"What you mean to me," he answered.
"Can't you just..." she started, flinging her leg over his and arching her eyebrow. "...show me now?"
"That's not enough," he protested. "I'll need years and years and years of showing you the most wonderful, beautiful things in the universe for it to even come close to how I feel about you."
She smiled warmly, touched by his words. "You're quite sweet sometimes," she murmured. "Never noticed that before."
"Weelll," he drawled. "That's my point, see. Neither of us can tell what the other's thinking."
"Because you won't tell me!" she replied laughingly.
"Because, as I've already said, it's not enough."
"So?"
"What do you mean, so?"
"Loads of people have to just...be content with the words, Doctor. They have to rely on the English language or whatever to express what they feel, even if they feel it's not remotely near what they really mean. A man might whisper to his fiancé how beautiful she looks once she's walked down the aisle to stand by his side, but he doesn't mean that. He means that she's so much better than everything else in the world, to him, and - "
The Doctor cut her off, kissing her insistently on the lips. "You're right," he breathed roughly, when he pulled back. "And I..." he trailed off for a second, swallowing past the lump in his throat. "I love you. But it's -"
"More than that, yes," she finished for him. "I know." She wrapped an arm around him and drew herself closer to his body. "I love you too."