Chapter 19: The Identity Crisis 2
"And this will be your room for the time being, Zero." Xingke showed Zero to where he would stay while they were in the Chinese Federation.
"Thank you, Xingke." Zero told him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to be alone for a while."
"Of course, Zero." Xingke said and left the room.
Suzaku sat down on the bed in the corner of the room and took off his helmet. He was still thinking about the major loss in Japan. As of now, all of Japan is under Infinite's, no, Lelouch's reign. Everything had been going so horribly for them it was unbelievable. Suzaku had so many emotions twisted up inside him; anger, depression, confusion, anguish… No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't even begin to fathom what Lelouch's plan could possibly be in doing this.
The Lelouch he knew wouldn't do anything that would hurt them. That time over a year ago when he had given his life as a tyrant, it had been to save the world and everyone in it. So why; Why was Lelouch doing all this?
Suzaku's thought were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Lord Zero, may I come in?" It was Lloyd.
Suzaku put his mask back on. "Yes, come in." The door opened, and then not only Lloyd, but Kallen and Nunnally entered with him with grim expressions. "What is it?" He asked them.
Suzaku looked at Lloyd who was baring a smile, but Suzaku could sense a form of confliction hidden within that smile that was not normal of him. When the door closed behind them, Kallen spoke up. "Suzaku, we know it's you." She said, immediately paralyzing Suzaku.
He looked at Nunnally from behind his mask, and even though she could not see his face, she knew what he was thinking. "I didn't tell them, Suzaku; they came to me." She informed Suzaku, who then looked back between Lloyd and Kallen with shock covering his face behind his mask.
"Please Suzaku, be honest with us." Kallen asked, sounding like she was holding back tears and clenching her fists.
It took Suzaku a moment before he was able to process his thoughts again. Once he could, he sighed and lowered his head, and then took off the mask of 'Zero'. "How long have you known?" he asked them.
"I've always known, Suzaku." Lloyd told him. "I knew you too well, so I could tell it was you immediately; although I could only be completely certain when you asked me to make the Lancelot for you."
Suzaku ran his hand through his hair; feeling like an idiot for thinking Lloyd of all people wouldn't realize his identity. "As for me, I realized it when you first saved me in the Lancelot, that day Infinite showed up." Kallen said, and the tears she was holding back started to fall down her cheeks. "I wanted to deny it though. I kept telling myself that there was no way; that you were dead. But the more I denied it, the more I knew it was true."
"They came to me because they thought I deserved to know, unaware that I already knew." Nunnally told Suzaku.
"But… if you already knew it was me, why did you wait until now to say anything?" Suzaku asked, still hanging his head.
Lloyd answered. "Well, I figured you had a reason to be keeping your identity a secret, so I wanted to let it be. But…"
"Given the current circumstances, we wanted to tell you. Right now, we can't have any doubts about our leader." Kallen said.
"I understand." Suzaku replied.
"On that note, there's something I have to ask you." Kallen said, and then there was a pause before she managed the question. "Why did you fight with Lelouch at the end?"
Hearing this question, Suzaku did not flinch. He did not light up with shock or drop his head more in depression. Coming from Kallen, the person who had actually fought and supposedly killed him off, that was a perfectly valid question in this situation. In the back of his mind, Suzaku always knew that one day he might have to own up for everything he had done and everything he had kept a secret. Lifting his head, he stared into Kallen's eyes with the most determined look that could have been misinterpreted as anger.
After a moment's silence, Suzaku confessed. "Because it was the only way Lelouch could think of to make peace."
"Suzaku!" Nunnally shouted, not expecting him to reveal so much.
Now it was Kallen's turn to be surprised, although Lloyd only smiled more genuinely. "The truth is… everything then was Lelouch's plan to instigate peace into a world his father had thoroughly torn apart. But to accomplish this, he could only come up with one plan." Suzaku told them.
"He had to give the world a single enemy, himself." Nunnally said, beginning to cry.
"And I was to be the savior. All according to Lelouch's plan, I faked my death at your hands, Kallen; I took on the persona of Zero, and I killed Lelouch. And the only people who knew of the plan were me, Lelouch, C.C., and Jeremiah."
"Wait a minute, Jeremiah!" Kallen suddenly shouted that question. "But- but Jeremiah only ever served Lelouch! If he knew about all that, why would he side with Infinite?"
There was only one way to answer that question, but it was almost impossible for Suzaku to get the words out. "Infinite… is Lelouch." He said at last.
Traumatized. That word was now the only thing that could possibly define how Kallen felt inside. It was if someone had reached inside of her and ran a hundred blades through every fiber of her being. First she was told that everything Lelouch had done had been for the greater good. But then the very next second she was being told he was also the biggest threat to the whole world.
She wanted to scream, she wanted to lash out at Suzaku and force him to explain how any of that could be true. She wanted to do something, but her body was now completely unresponsive. With an unimaginable emotional wound in her heart, Kallen simply collapsed to the ground, just barely able to use her arms to support herself.
Even Lloyd's face was colored with surprised, and so he asked the question Kallen was unable to speak. "But why would Lelouch do that?"
"As for that, I'm afraid I don't have the slightest idea." Suzaku answered regretfully. "No matter how hard I've thought about it, I can't understand what Lelouch could be thinking."
Suddenly, Kallen got her second wind. All her traumatized emotions became pockets of pure rage and she stormed to her feet and punched Suzaku to the ground, getting on top of him and grabbing his collar, shaking him violently. "DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Luckily, the room they were in was soundproof, so there was no worry about someone coming in overhearing the commotion.
"Kallen!" Nunnally called out, but it was obvious nothing was going to stop Kallen from speaking what was on her mind.
"Why would Lelouch- why would anyone destroy something they worked so hard to create!" Kallen asked Suzaku, using the second part of the question just to further build on her point. "If you expect me to take that at face value, you're insane!" She told Suzaku, and then repeated the big question. "Why in hell would Lelouch do this!"
Even after all this, Suzaku did not waver anymore. He understood Kallen's rage, but despite that one truth remained. "I don't know." He answered Kallen, but all that accomplished was having her take her fist and punch him a second time. "I'm sorry, but those are the facts. I want to know what Lelouch is thinking just as much as you do, believe me; but that doesn't change the fact I don't know right now."
Kallen breathed heavily while still staring at Suzaku with complete rage. But after a moment she just broke down and began to sob uncontrollably. And for a few minutes no one said anything else, because there was nothing left to say…
Within the room Suzaku had used within the government building, Lelouch twirled a King's chess piece in one hand. But even though he now had full control over Japan, his expression was anything but happy. At the moment he was waiting for someone to have a private meeting with them.
Finally, a knock came at the door, and Lelouch put on his Infinite mask. "Come in," He told the person on the other side.
The door opened, and the young boy known as Bai walked in and sat opposite of Infinite. "You wished to see me, Lord Infinite?" Bai asked.
"Yes Bai, I did." Lelouch said with an air of frustration.
"Is something wrong?" Bai questioned, catching Infinite's tone.
"Yes Bai." Lelouch said again. "Tell me Bai, do you know what a 'King' is?" He asked Bai while still twirling the chess piece, making him wonder what kind of 'King' he was referring to. "A King is the most important person to any group of people; be that group a world, a country, or simply a single army."
"I'm confused, where is this going?" Bai asked.
"When a King is killed, the morale of his entire empire crumbles, and they become unable to function. Even if the King does not die, when he is not in complete control, the empire cannot function properly, which leads to problems that cause downfall.
"So answer me this, Bai. In out rebellion, who here is the 'King'?"
The question seemed strange and without point to Bai, as for anyone fighting here the answer was quite obvious. "Well, you are of course, Lord Infinite." He answered.
However, when Bai gave this answer, Lelouch slammed the chess piece he had been twirling in his hand onto the table between him and Bai. "Exactly; in this army, I am your 'King'. So Bai, do you understand why I have told you this?"
"No, sir, I'm afraid I do not understand." Bai said.
"You play dumb, Bai. I have been monitoring your activities for some time now, and it seems to me you are acting outside of your assigned duties. This is dangerous business Bai; and therefore I must have you understand your place, and warn you not to act out any longer. I have you where you are so this operation can run as smoothly as possible; if you disobey me, you will cause my empire to crumble. Do you understand?"
At this, Bai clenched his fist and answered sternly. "With all due respect, Lord Infinite, everything I have done up to this point has been for the good of this rebellion. Whatever I have done that you have seen as 'acting out of my assigned duties' I encourage you not to dwell on it." Bai proclaimed these things, believing that he hadn't any fault in what he had been doing. "If that is all, I will be returning to my duties now."
As Bai said this, he stood up and waited a moment in case Infinite had something else to add. When he said nothing, Bai turned and walked out of the door, passing C.C. who was on her way in.
When the doors closed, C.C. spoke up. "How did it go?"
"Not well." Lelouch answered, removing his helmet. "Bai feels I am too worrisome and that everything he has done is for the good of the rebellion. But if he continues to do this, he could endanger my plans."
"So what do we do?" C.C. asked.
"There's only one thing we can do…" Lelouch began, and then looked straight into C.C.'s eyes. "I have to accelerate my plans; when we leave for the Chinese Federation, it will be the final battle."