Spooning

::

Rose awoke to the sound of her door creaking open. Not moving from her position facing the opposite wall, she murmured, "Doctor? What's up?"

The Doctor crept over to her bed as quietly as possible, dodging the bits of clothing and things strewn about her floor. "I'm bored," he whispered back.

She giggled into her pillow. "It's the middle of the night."

"Can't sleep," he replied. She felt the mattress dip as he sat down beside her.

"Go tinker with the console or something," she suggested, her words muffled through a yawn.

"I want to talk to you."

"It's the middle of the night," she reiterated. "I've only slept for a few hours. Wake me up at eight."

He sighed heavily and reclined on the bed, on top of the duvet, staring at the back of her head. "Can't you sleep on your other side so you can face me?" he asked hopefully.

"I'm comfy like this," she protested. "Look, how can you be bored? You've got a massive time machine filled with interesting rooms. Go swimming or something."

"On my own? Where's the fun in that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I dunno, can't you just...fly us somewhere and go and explore? Then when I get up at a reasonable hour, you can come back and get me and take me to an interesting place you've found."

"Once again, I reply; on my own? Where's the fun in that?"

"You've been on your own plenty of times," she reminded him softly.

"Yes, exactly," he retorted. "Now I've got you I don't have to be."

Rose bit her lip, worried that she'd upset him. "Sorry, Doctor. I know. It's just...surely no one wants to spend every single second of the day with someone else?"

He was silent for a moment, but then whispered, "Don't they?"

"Nope. And you don't, either, not really. If we actually spent every second of the day together, I'd drive you mad. Or you'd get bored with me."

"Rubbish," he sniffed, offended. He trailed a fingertip slowly down her bare upper arm, unable to resist the temptation. "Wait, do I drive you mad? Bore you?"

She giggled and reached her hand up to entwine with the one resting against her shoulder. "Maybe," she teased gently.

He shifted closer so that they could hold hands more easily, resting them against her stomach as his arm wrapped around her. "Suppose I'll just have to get more impressive, then," he countered.

"S'pose you'd better," she laughed. There was a brief pause, before she asked, "Doctor?"

"Hmm?" he murmured close to her ear. He propped up on his elbow on her pillow, the hand of that arm dangling down to run through her hair.

"Are you spooning me?"

"Nope," he denied swiftly.

"Feels like it."

"Just...hugging you. That's all," he assured her.

"Horizontally."

"Yes, exactly. A horizontal hug. Ooh, that's quite fun to say. Horizontal hug. So! Are you awake now?"

"I'm not getting up before dawn, Doctor."

"Well, time's relative on the - "

"Don't care."

He chuckled. "Don't worry, you don't have to get up. I just wanted to talk to you, remember? That's all."

"Why?"

"I already said. Because I'm bored and can't sleep."

"So you thought you'd come in here and spoon me?" she said, turning her head to regard him with an arched eyebrow.

"Not spooning," he corrected. "Spooning suggests...nefarious intent."

"Doesn't have to," she said, meeting his gaze intently. "Friends can...spoon, too."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Oh. Okay, then."

She turned her head back to face the wall, hiding her grin from him. She let go of his hand and his arm stayed around her. In fact, his palm flattened against her bare stomach, where her vest top had ridden up, and tugged her back against him more firmly. His hand in her hair stilled.

Rose cleared her throat. "So, what do you want to talk about?" she asked him nonchalantly.

"I don't mind," he replied.

"Doctor."

"Yeah?"

"Are you wearing your suit?"

"No. Pyjamas. Why? What's that got to do with anything?"

"Nothing, no reason," she assured him. "Just making sure you've not got your converses on my bed, that's all."

"Oh, no, wouldn't dare do that," he replied teasingly. "Not after last time when you had a go at me."

"Those sheets were clean on and you jumped on my bed in your shoes, getting mud all over them!" she retorted.

"I apologise," he grinned. "But don't worry. Just socks on today. See?" To prove it, he flung his leg over hers to show her.

Rose nodded, even though she couldn't actually see his foot in the dark. "Okay, I believe you." She smirked when he left his leg where it was. "Definitely spooning me now," she noted.

"So what if I am?" he replied. "You said friends do that."

"Sure you haven't got nefarious intent?"

"Of course I'm sure. If I had nefarious intent I would've got beneath the duvet with you."

"Oh yeah," she mumbled. "Good point."

There was a tense silence for a few seconds.

"Unless..." he began quietly.

"Unless what?"

"Unless it was a double bluff," he suggested hurriedly, rushing through the words.

Rose's pulse quickened. "What?"

"Nothing."

"No, go on – what did you mean by that?"

"Nothing."

"Doctor," she muttered, irritated. "Why do you never say what you really mean?"

"That's not true," he replied.

"It is sometimes."

"Sometimes it's easier."

"Why?"

"Because...because I'm a coward," he whispered. "Because you're my best friend. Because you're much more than that and I don't know how to tell you."

Rose swallowed hard. "Where's all this coming from?" she murmured back.

"I don't know."

She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. "Do you..."

"Do I what?" he replied, his voice rough.

Rose turned on her bedside lamp. Then, she rolled over in his arms to face him properly and abandoned her question in favour of a different one. "Why did you come here tonight? Tell me the truth."

The Doctor cupped her face gently, stroking his thumb across her cheekbone. "I was sitting in the console room having an argument with myself," he admitted.

She raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

"You," he answered simply.

"And...?"

"And part of me thinks you could never...but then the other part of me thinks you might...and I...well, only you could tell me which part is right, so I thought...I thought I'd come to you and figure it out."

"Could never what? Might what?" she persisted.

"Rose, I understand the chemistry of it," he tried to explain. "And the biological reactions and...and all that. I read up on it – the TARDIS library now has a collection of reference books on it. So, I understand the how. Increased respiration, blood pressure, heart rate. Oxytocin release. Dilated pupils. Even the way you fiddle with your earring. What I don't understand – and thus can never be completely sure if I'm just seeing what I want to see – is the why. Because - "

"Doctor," Rose interrupted slowly. He paused and looked at her, patiently waiting for her to continue. "Are you seriously saying that...that...you've had to read books to figure out if I..."

"Had to make sure that I was, uh, receiving the right signals, so to speak," he mumbled, tugging his ear awkwardly.

"These books...what, um. Just so that we're on the same wavelength here, I need to make sure. What are these books about, exactly?"

"Human..." he said, then muttered something very quietly.

"Sorry?"

"Human arousal," he clarified, a little louder.

"Right," she breathed out roughly. "And you...er. You got into bed with me to tell me this because...?"

"Ah. Well. That's, um, an interesting point, you see."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"And what's that?"

He exhaled a deep breath and explained, stuttering hopelessly, "You act as though you want...want...things."

Rose unconsciously wet her lips.

"See!" he pointed out triumphantly. "Like that, see, that's – that's in the book!"

"What is?"

"The licking the lips thing! And...so is, the uh, the way you're looking at me right now, and..." he continued, watching as Rose started to smile mischievously. "And...that smile of yours seems very nefarious indeed..."

She laughed and snuggled closer to him to whisper in his ear, "Got any Time Lord reference books for me to read?"

His eyebrows lifted. "I...don't think you need any."

"No?"

"No," he assured her. "Surely I have been rather obvious in what I..."

"What you...?" she prompted, tilting her head back to look at him again.

"Want," he gulped.

Rose grinned. "Okay, well let's say that I am aware of what you...want. My question is, how long have you wanted what you want, and why the sudden declaration of wanting what you want?"

"Awhile and not sure."

She slipped her arm around him and drew a circle on his back with her fingertip absently as she replied, "Were you thinking about it? Is that why you had to arrive in my bedroom and wake me up?"

"I was merely...contemplating how such a...turn of events...might possibly affect our friendship..."

"And what did you conclude about that?"

"I concluded that we'll never know until we try, so we might as well give it a go," he sniffed nonchalantly.

"Could all go terribly, terribly wrong," Rose pointed out. "Might complicate things. Especially for you, Mr Don't Do Domestic."

"Rose, I've fallen in love with a human eight hundred and eighty one years younger than me. I don't think things can get more complicated than that, to be quite honest."

They stared at each other in silence for a moment while Rose digested that. He didn't seem to realise what he'd said until she mumbled, "Did you just say...?"

"No!" he assured her quickly, his eyes widening in horror. "Nope, no, no, no, said nothing of the sort, no, just ignore me, didn't mean it, stupid Time Lord hasn't slept for a week, not thinking straight, and you're in your pyjamas, and I'm in my pyjamas, and we're both in the same bed and, um, just forget I - "

"Doctor," she interrupted him. "Breathe. Breathing's good, alright? Calm down."

"Oh...kay," he mumbled slowly. "Sooo..."

"You really are a bit daft sometimes, aren't you?" she murmured affectionately, lifting her hand from his back to run through his hair gently.

"Maybe?" he offered sheepishly.

"You don't say things you don't mean," she said carefully. "Not to me. Not anymore. And not things like that. If you said it, then you must, somewhere deep down, have meant it."

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. "Doesn't it terrify you?" he whispered.

"What?" she whispered back.

"This," he answered, squeezing her middle, drawing her even closer to him. "What we've become. Doesn't that scare you? It scares me. It scares me so much, and makes me do stupid things, reckless things, and I'm sorry and I love - "

"Yes," she answered softly. "Yeah, I'm scared too."

He opened his eyes again. "Rose?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think, maybe, that even though it's terrifying, and probably not a good idea, really, we could, well, kiss and things anyway?"

"Kiss and things," she smiled. "Yeah, I like the sound of that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. So. If I were to...do this," he murmured, tilting his head down and placing a soft kiss to her lips. "That would be alright?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded.

"And then, say for instance, I did this," he said next, inching his hand under the hem of her vest top, tickling her stomach. "Is that okay, too?"

Rose answered him by slipping her hand beneath her top to grab his hand and move it upwards for him, until he was very much cupping a part of Rose that he'd never had the good fortune to cup before.

"Right," he breathed out shakily. "I'll take that as a yes." He moved his mouth back to hers and kissed her slowly, tenderly. Her moan against his lips indicated she'd like to hurry things along a bit, so he kissed her harder.

"What about this?" she whispered huskily, as she started unbuttoning his pyjama top.

"Yeah," he breathed out roughly, moving his mouth down her neck. "Yeah, that's...that's perfectly fine..."

"And this?" she murmured next, trailing her hand down his chest.

He simply rolled her onto her back in response, and hovered over her as he helped her push the pyjama shirt off his shoulders.

"Mmm," she mumbled appreciatively, unable to stop running her fingertips across his bare skin. "I think you should come into my bedroom with nefarious intent more often."

"Perhaps I will," he gasped against her neck as she wriggled beneath him, trying to get out from under the thick duvet that separated them.

"I've thought about this," she confessed, pushing him upright so that she could pull her own top off over her head. "You, arriving at my bedroom door one night to finally just..." she trailed off in a moan as the Doctor pressed kisses down her chest.

"Mmmfgh, me too," he replied breathlessly, after which neither of them said very much else for a substantial amount of time.