Title: Son of Men
Chapter: 15
Rating: T
Summary: When a message comes through the typewriter, it's going to turn everyone's life upside down.
Author's Note: What can I say... I was sucked into an alternate universe and forgot to update XD No, seriously, I got sucked into Mass Effect 3 a few weeks ago and just found my way back last night after I successfully defeated the Reapers (way to go, Shepard!). To make it up to you, this chapter is about double the length than what I usually put out. I also made a cover for this fic. Its tiny, tiny preview you can see at the top of this chapter. If you wanna see it bigger, I put it up in my deviantart account here: www . fav . me / d591yks (take out the spaces, FF-Net won't let me put in a direkt link).
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The sun was setting when she walked up the few steps to the front door of the Bishop house. She hesitated for a moment, hand up in the air, ready to knock. Peter had told her numerous times that she didn't need to knock anymore whenever she came around, that this was her home now as well. Yet, she always did. She didn't know why, but she still felt like she was an intruder in this house. Today more so than ever.
Inside, she knew, were Peter and his son. Henry. The little boy that wasn't hers. But in a strange way also was. She still had problems making head and tails of that. She had taken her time to think. About herself. About Peter. About Henry. About their baby. About what she wanted. About what she couldn't have.
In the past, she would have gone to Peter for help. To every "what should I do?" he had the right answer to give. Except that now, when she had needed someone at her side the most, to tell her that no matter her decision, it was going to be okay – he hadn't been there. He'd been here instead, cooped up inside the walls of the Bishop house, caring for his son. And maybe that was just the place where he was supposed to be.
Her hand still held high in the air, poised at the door, she never even got the chance to knock when the door suddenly swung open and a very cheery Walter appeared in the doorway.
"Olivia, dear," he started while he chewed on a piece of red licorice, "you don't want to stand out there the whole night, do you? Come on in!"
"Hello Walter," she greeted him, donning a half-hearted smile as she stepped inside the house. Her eyes immediately wandered through the open doorway into the living room, expecting to find Peter somewhere in there. But the room lay empty.
"If you are looking for Peter, he is upstairs with the B.A.B.Y."
The spelled out last word came out as a cautious hush, as if he was trying to test out the waters to see if mentioning Henry around Olivia was okay.
"You mean he is upstairs with Henry," Olivia stated matter-of-factly which immediately resulted in eager nods from Walter when he noticed that talking about Henry was not out of bounds, "Yes, yes. He needed a bath. The baby that is. Henry."
She found it impossible to suppress a small chuckle, "Thank you, Walter."
Olivia made her way up the stairs. Even before she reached the bathroom, she could hear Peter's voice echoing through the empty hallway, having a rather one-sided conversation with his son. She stopped in the doorway and leaned against the frame, arms crossed in front of her chest as she watched the amusing scene in front of her. Peter, with his back to her, soaked from head to waist, was trying to admonish the little boy who sat in the baby tub, happily splashing water all around him and squealing with delight.
"Damn, kid, can't you hold still for just a second so I can get the soap out of your hair?"
"No swearing in front of the baby," Olivia chuckled amused.
Peter quickly turned to look over his shoulder, a rather surprised look in his face when he saw her, then turned his attention back to his son in the tub.
"How long you've been standing there?"
"Long enough," she replied, watching Henry joyfully slap his hands on the water which immediately splashed in every direction, "Someone seems to like water."
"You should have seen last night's performance. I needed to mop the whole bathroom afterward."
He waved his hand towards the towel that lay over the sink, indicating for her to hand it to him. Olivia picked up the bright yellow baby towel, unfolded it, and held it up for Peter who had already lifted his son out of the tub. The boy kicked his feet in the air, trying to splash the water below him and let out a frustrated cry when he was carried away from the tub. His eyes lit up a moment later though when the fluffy towel was wrapped around his naked body and he found himself cradled securely in Olivia's arms.
"Hey little sailor," she cooed at him while she flipped the hood of the baby towel over his head to dry off his hair.
Henry rewarded her with a broad smile before he smacked his palms against her cheeks. Olivia took hold of one his hands immediately and brought it up to her lips, blowing raspberries against the boy's tiny palm, causing him to giggle hysterically.
"Can you keep him for a moment?" Peter asked as he slipped his wet shirt over his head, "I gotta get something dry to wear."
"We're fine, don't worry," she replied absentmindedly while she placed the baby down on the dresser that had been turned into a makeshift changing table.
A few minutes later, Henry was wearing a new diaper and Olivia was closing the snaps of his dark brown onesie that had 'thank you for noticing I'm awesome' written in red and yellow letters on the front. She had pondered for a moment whether she was going to dress Henry in that or not, but given that it was the only piece of clothing that lay on the table, she didn't have much of a choice. She definitely had to talk to Peter about appropriate clothing for his son because while initially it may have looked cute, it looked absolutely ridiculous on the boy.
When she picked him up, Henry first flashed her a big grin, showing off the top part of a front bottom tooth that had broken through before he let out a big yawn. He immediately laid down his head on her shoulder and snuggled close to her body, making himself as cozy as he could in her arms. At first, Olivia didn't want to surrender to the baby's comfortable fit in her arms, but when she felt Henry's lips pressed tenderly against the side of her neck and his warm breath tingling against her skin, she couldn't help it anymore. Henry felt so right in her arms, as if this was the only place where the boy was supposed to be.
"Let's go look for your daddy, I'm sure he has your bottle all ready," she cooed at the boy while her hand gently stroked the back of his head.
She found Peter downstairs in the kitchen just as the ping of the microwave announced that its contents were ready to be taken out. Silently, she watched as he got Henry's bottle out and tested the warm formula it contained against his wrist. When he turned, he noticed her for the first time, standing behind the kitchen counter while she swayed back and forth on her feet to lull Henry to sleep. She held his hand out towards him, wiggling her fingers to let him know that she wanted him to hand her the bottle. Without a word, he handed it to her as he leaned against the counter, watching just how comfortable his son had made himself in Olivia's arms.
"I tried to call you last night," he said just as Henry eagerly accepted the bottle Olivia was offering him with loud smacking sounds.
"I had the ringer off cause I wanted to get some sleep," she replied without even looking at him, her eyes glued at the little boy who so contently lay in her arms, "I was exhausted."
"Understandable." Peter paused for a moment, then added, "you look better."
"At least I'm not hanging over the toilet bowl 24/7 anymore. Nausea's still my constant companion though."
She quickly shifted Henry in her arms who was getting a bit fussy. He was trying to hold on to the bottle himself but couldn't quite reach it at the angle Olivia was holding it. She smiled down at the boy whose bright blue eyes flashed up at her with delight when his tiny fingers were finally able to grasp the bottle and curl around it tightly.
"How are the two of you managing?"
At last, she looked up at Peter, donning a faint smile that let him know once again just how much she cared. Not only about him, but also about Henry.
"Okay, I think," he answered with a quick shrug, "He likes my daytime entertainment program a lot, especially bath time as you have seen. My late night entertainment is a different matter though. Putting him to bed is rather...," he shook his hand from side to side, "and I'm not even talking about how he's terrorizing me during the night."
"He won't stop crying." Her statement wasn't as much a question as it was an observation that she had made during the last few days since they had brought Henry home.
"No. No matter what I try."
"It's still all new to him. You're new to him. It'll take some time but he'll adjust."
"I sure hope so."
There was an awkward moment of silence between them that was occasionally filled with low, smacking sounds from Henry who was eagerly sucking on the bottle as if he hadn't gotten anything to eat in days.
"You know," Olivia finally broke the silence, "I've been doing a lot of thinking the last couple of days. About you, about me, about how things are between us..."
"Liv," Peter started, but she cut him off immediately, "I just want you to listen for a moment, okay? When I'm done, you can say all you want."
She took a deep breath before she went on, "The last four years have been the most confusing, mind-boggling, painful and scary years of my whole life. But they've also been the most encouraging, interesting and - dare I even say - happiest years because I've had you. Even when I didn't have you. You've always been there for me and stood by my side, no matter what. You didn't ask questions, you didn't judge me. You just accepted me the way that I am. And then I fell in love with you. It took all my courage to tell you that I wanted you to come back with me because that was where you belonged. With me."
She sought eye contact with Peter, even if just for a second, before quickly turning in order not to lose herself in him like she always did when he looked at her with those deep blue eyes that held so much love for her. She couldn't lose the courage to tell him what she had to say. She needed to say it, and she needed to say it now.
"When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't know what to do. We'd just found a way for us to build our own little happiness in a world that's falling apart at the seams. We lived day to day. We never talked about what the next day would bring or the next week, the next month. We never talked where we wanted to take this relationship. Let alone about settling down with children. My pregnancy was an accident, and it happened at a time when I wasn't quite sure where we were headed as a couple. One night we spent at my place, one night we spent at yours, the next we're out in the field pretending we're nothing but partners and friends. I first needed to figure out where we stood before I could tell you about the baby. Then this one day, Astrid made an offhand comment at the lab, that we are our own master's fate, and that even impending doomsday can't stop her from living her life, that she wasn't thinking about consequences anymore. That she is just enjoying the moment the best she can because she doesn't want to regret having missed anything when doomsday comes. I figured she was right. I was gonna tell you that night that I didn't want to waste time anymore, that I wanted us and that I wanted our baby. And then he happened," her eyes fell on Henry in her arms who was tightly holding on to and happily enjoying the bottle that now was almost empty.
"My whole world came crashing down that night. Not because I found out you had fathered a child with my alternate. But because you said you didn't want to be a father like that. By accident. By mistake."
"I didn't mean..." he started but she cut him off again, shaking her head slightly, "it hurt, Peter. Whichever way you meant it. So I didn't tell you," she took a deep breath, trying to blink back a tear that had started to form in her eye, "all I wanted was a bit of normalcy in my life. To be able to go home at night to the man I love. To Be happy. Have a family of my own. I guess I was kidding myself. There's always going to be something that's just going to destroy everything. How could I have thought that there could be a happily ever after for us?"
A single tear was now trailing down her cheek while she was desperately tried to fight them back.
"God, damn these stupid hormones. I didn't want to cry."
Peter couldn't help but smile at her warmly as he reached out his hand and tenderly cupped her cheek. She turned into his touch immediately, for once just enjoying the little bit of comfort that he was offering her as his thumb trailed over her lips, stopping at that dimple just below her lower lip like he had done so many times before.
"You are no quitter, Olivia. You don't give up fighting. And neither do I. My mom always used to say that you just have to imagine how you want things to be. And then you can try and change them. We can have a normal life, Liv. We just have to make it happen."
He leaned forward just enough for their foreheads to touch. He could feel the warmth of her skin against his, her shallow breathing a tingling and beckoning sensation against his lips. For a fleeting second, all he wanted to do was claim her lips with his in a desperate attempt to forget about all she had just had told him, to forget that he had caused her so much pain, to forget that maybe she was right, that they never would have this little bit of normalcy in their lives that both of them sought so desperately. Instead, he quickly ran his tongue over the seam of his lips as he sought for the right words to tell her just what exactly was going on his mind and what made his heart ache.
"When I said I didn't want to be a father like that..." he started, but the words sounded not quite right for what he needed to tell her. So he stopped himself, collected his thoughts again for just a moment, and then just bluntly said, "I want to have children with you, Liv. You don't know how often I have imagined what our children might be like. A little blonde haired girl with pigtails that bob in the wind when she's running. Stubborn like her mother, but also as sensitive and as caring. I want to bounce her on my knees and read her stories and tuck her in at bedtime. I want to hold her when she's sick and comfort her and tell her it's going to be all better. I want to have all that with the woman I love, Olivia. And not with a woman who betrayed me and used me."
There was a faint smile that played at Olivia's lips when she looked up at him and found him giving her that sincere look of love and devotion he always donned when they were getting serious about certain things. He wasn't good with words when it came to telling her how exactly he was feeling about her, she knew that. A long time ago she had learned already to read his expression, his posture – and those were always telling her more than words ever could. That certain sparkle in his eyes, the way the corners of his mouth curled up, the start of the most tender smile there could ever be... it was his way of telling her just how much he loved her, that she was his one and only, his everything.
"I want to have this baby with you. Our baby," he whispered against her lips, "I'm an idiot that I haven't said that yet. I'm sorry."
"We're gonna have a baby," she said calmly, and he echoed her statement with a mix of laughter and joy in his voice, "We're gonna have a baby."