CHAPTER FIVE – Commiseration
"It's too bad you can't kill me, isn't it?" I taunted Malachai, running circles around him. I had so much energy to burn, which was weird because I had woken up irritable and tired. "I mean, I bet you want to. I bet you want to split me wide open!"
Malachai's machete flew past me, nearly nicking my arm. "Do you ever stop? Just shut up before I do kill you."
I fell silent and for the next hours or so, we worked in sweaty quiet.
The blockades are coming back. I'm drowning in solitude. For me, only for me.
Reluctant, but bored and curious, I retrieved Malachai's weapon and held it out to him. He stared at me. "What?" I asked, "you want me to beat you with it?"
"No, outlander… May God have mercy on you."
"Why so serious?" I play-jabbed the knife at him. "Don't you EVER have any fun?"
"Serving the Lord is my purpose, nothing else," he muttered.
I thought for a moment, and then smiled. "Dance with me!" I cried out, a favorite song blaring in imaginary speakers in my head. /*Look at all the craps I'm not giving about introducing metal to a CotC Fanfic!*/
Now tell me all about your pain/ Down to the detail/ Don't say it's love/ Your fragile heart feeds my contempt/ Wailing, your sorrow/ Is only my way to comfort you…
I grabbed his hands and swung them back and forth in conjunction with the imaginary beat. For the first time since I left my home, if you could call it that, I felt free. My hair bounced and brushed both of our faces. Malachai remained stiff and still as I hummed the lyrics.
"Music is forbidden, out—"
I interrupted him by pulling him close to me, acting as the male in a waltz-style dance. I felt as though I had entered a weird, Pagan musical. Malachai The Machete Man: The Musical.
Malachai growled in protest as I swayed with him.
"Outlander… Stop this at once! Do you want to get lashed again?! You must repent for your sins!" He shoved me back violently, and unsheathed his knife once more. "Repent, heretic. On your knees."
I stopped my movement and glared at him, feeling anger burn in the back of my mind. "You are NOT a leader, nor are you my superior."
He snarled and smacked me hard across the face. "We'll see what Isaac has to say about this."
I didn't follow when he began to walk away.
You broke it. You ruined whatever it was. You struck me in a way reminiscent of them. You will feel my wrath.
"Burn in hell, fucker." I turned on my heel and sprinted in no particular direction. Malachai was immediately on my heels. "BURN IN HELL!"
I ran for what seemed like an eternity before Malachai found it in himself to lunge and take me to ground. I landed face-first. My body shook from the impact and I remained there. Malachai rolled off of me, breathing heavily. "You… prepare to be punished."
"What can you possibly do to me that they haven't already done?! You can't break me, because I was BORN broken! How blind are you?!" I screamed, clawing the dirt.
"If it is God's will, you must be broken, or somehow breakable."
"You don't hear God's word! There is no God! If there was, he wouldn't have allowed my parents to turn me into an aggressor with their bare hands." I stared blankly at him.
"Parents?"
"Yeah, those you KILLED. I would have killed mine, diced them up, shot them, bashed their heads in… but there was only one of me. You think I haven't been lashed before?" I laughed. "I've been hit with spoons, belt buckles, and even fuckin' beer can tabs tied to ribbons. All by the people who were supposed to love me and cherish me. Trust me, you can't do worse. There is nothing worse." I looked back at the ground.
Malachai said nothing, and sat on the ground, playing with his knife. It was like a habit, like twiddling your thumbs in class.
"I don't want you to burn, if there is a Hell." I shook my head and sat up as well. We looked at each other for a long moment before I got back onto my feet. "Isaac probably wants us back."
"He's asleep."
"You would know."
"…"
"Take me back, I'm tired. I hurt all over and I would like a shower." I began walking, waiting for him to take the lead. Instead he bent down and ordered me to get on his back. He did this in a begrudging way, as if he felt that he needed to compensate for being such an ass. I let my arms fall around his neck and I rested my chin on his shoulder.
Our quiet, serene walk ended. Malachai gently returned me to the ground and we walked up the stairs. We went our separate ways without a word. I stopped in my doorway.
"Malachai?" I questioned without looking at him.
I felt him listening.
"Sleep with me… I can't be alone right now."
He huffed in disbelief.
"I'll run from you again."
"Fine, have it your way, outlander."
Malachai stomped into my room, threw off his shoes, and unbuttoned his plaid shirt. I found myself staring and feeling hot in the face. He arched an eyebrow at me.
"What?" I growled.
"Aren't you going to change?"
"I was washing my other clothes. You tackled me. You should be doing my cleaning." I huffed.
"Here," he tossed his shift at my feet and collapsed on the bed. I felt his eyes on me.
I made no move to strip.
"Aren't you tired? You were just complaining. Outlander, I swear…"
"My name is—"
"I know what your name is."
"Don't look," I muttered, not caring either way, and knowing he would watch. I peeled my damp, muddy shirt from my skin and threw it over a chair. I left my jeans on. They were cold and muddy, but not so much so that I would abandon them while sleeping with Malachai. Sleeping with Malachai. My God, that sounded so sexual, and somewhat enticing.
I put on his tent of a shirt, and I smelled him. Masculinity, sweat, and pheromones. It was a distinct smell that was indescribable. But it was attractive to me. I smiled to myself and sat on the edge of the bed. Malachai made room for me, and I shifted so that my back was facing his, and I could see the door. I curled up and closed my eyes. To no avail.
"Malachai…" I muttered.
"Sage?" He responded.
"I can't sleep."
"You need to shut up."
"Maybe you should make me."
"You're so… unbearable." He turned on his back, and I did the same, my arms folded.
"Then make it stop. Put some effort into what you do."
He looked at me, and I smiled quickly, and it became a frown again just as fast.
I closed my eyes again, and I felt him grab my hand. "You said your parents, what was it, sucked?" I heard a laugh in his voice.
"Yes, they SUCKED. That doesn't do what I think of them justice, but I need to let it go." I sighed.
Malachai shrugged, "it stays with you."
"Good night." I took my hand back and returned to my sideways cocoon.
Malachai leaned over, put a hand on my shoulder and planted a soft kiss on my cheek.
I turned to face him, now lying on my opposite side. He was blushing, staring at me. I scooted closer and rested my hand on his cheek. I kissed him like I had done before. But it felt real and wonderful.
Neither of us pulled away and I pressed forward. Malachai let his arm slide around my shoulders to crush me against himself.