Sorry for the wait and that yall didn't like the angst. Can't be all sun shiny all the time, that aint life yeah? But thank you once again DNNHK, DontBeIgnorant23, gerlierana, fookyeahskins, sexpistols, Alice, Crevette, asdfghjkl, fakevegan, M, SA, CrystalKR1, TheGRANDest, David Archuleta and spikie142003 for leaving one. I got a job so that's having like less than two hours a day to write and I can't do it everyday. Hope yall be patient with me.

London was beyond awesome and I got me two packets of garibaldi.

Don't think this chapter will be graced with many reviews but leave one if you think it's alright.

They aint making babies soon (they're like what? Eighteen? Ha.) but… well you know how it'll work soon.

Chapter Ten – Blood Bank

Emily

What the fuck just happened?

I stared wide-eyed and blankly at the vacated seat in front of me, taking huge buckets of air with my mouth as I tried to calm my frantically palpitating heart; the image of Naomi's panic-stricken facial expression plastered itself in my mind. I brought my fingers to my lips and tentatively touched them, remembering how Naomi's lips had once again met mine for the briefest of seconds.

She kissed me again but…

My mind tried to backtrack to the prior few minutes. She called me amazing. She said I meant a lot to her. That was when I gazed fully into her eyes again, her pristine, gorgeous, captivating blue eyes, the ones that make me want to drown in them or fly into them at the same time. I stared transfixed, spellbound, void of any form of speech.

Her lips, pink and rosy, were merely inches from my face. I hadn't even realised we had unknowingly drawn close to each other. Then again with Naomi, I find myself unconsciously moving myself towards her all the time, like I have to be near her or close to her, to be in her presence, to feel near to her. My attraction to her; the way she attracts me. I yearned to kiss her now.

But a huge bout of nervousness had overtaken me. My nerves clenched and unclenched themselves; a huge internal debate took place. Lots of "what if" questions started to cloud my mind in that instant. What if I kissed her. What if I did I didn't. What if I did and she didn't kiss back. What if I made this mistake and we can't be friends anymore. I opened my mouth but noiseless words flew right out of them. I couldn't get myself to enunciate them.

Then I felt her lips on mine before I could even understand what had happened. It caught me by surprise. Again. True, she kissed me before, twice, but one was a birthday kiss and the other was a post birthday kiss, a half kiss. Whatever. Both didn't mean anything to her but she was my first and firsts mean a lot to most people. I am the most people. She was everything to me, like how firsts are. But I didn't want this third kiss to be nothing to her again. I wanted to know if she really meant it or she was just fucking about with me. I need to ask her, to tell her, to know.

I pulled back quickly before I mentally and physically lost myself in the texture of her soft lips. It wasn't easy, believe me. I was breathing heavily, my face was probably also flushed red, as I struggled to collect my mind and breath. I could smell Naomi's scent all around me. My head was giddily swimming in it. My lips tingled from that brief contact. Given a choice, I never wanted to stop. I want so fucking badly just to kiss her back and tell her that I fancied her for the longest time. But I my mind had other decisions.

"Naomi, I – " I started, wanting to ask her what this and everything meant.

"S-sorry." I heard her stammer out. "Shit – this is a huge mistake – fuck, I'm sorry – shit."

I had frozen. My unsaid said words left dangling half out of my mouth. I swallowed them back in as I was momentarily stunned. Huge mistake? Did she mean this kiss was a huge mistake? A sudden pain constricted my heart, like a knife had been slowly and steadily pressed into it, determined and sure, cutting. I couldn't breathe as I witnessed her scrambling around gathering her things, her eyes looking everywhere but me, her eyes that displayed regret and panic. Huge mistake? Did she mean it was a mistake to kiss me because she had actually felt nothing for me, and that we can't really be friends anymore because of this?

I wanted to grab her, to tell her that it was okay, that this wouldn't mean a thing if she didn't want it to be but I couldn't because how could I convince my heart about that when it did and would meant something and everything to me. She ran away from me, repeating those same words again.

I felt that stabbing pain in my heart again as I recalled her words. The pain was tangible; it was real; it felt like my heart was pinched at its corners and torn slowly down right through the middle. It felt like it was breaking, like she was breaking my heart.

I wiped a stray tear that had slid quietly out of my eyes and tumbled agonisingly down my right cheek. Fuck, why am I crying? I wasn't supposed to feel this much for her. I wasn't supposed to fall for her knowing all the while that it would be unrequited. I let myself get out of control and fall madly for a friend that realised she didn't like me at all.

I took a deep breath attempting to steady my emotions and blew out the air at my fringe that was covering my eyes. I tasted the saltiness of my tears at the back of my throat and sniffed. Get a grip on yourself. Tomorrow will be fine. You'll get over this, over her and hopefully you both will still be friends.

I couldn't imagine my like without Naomi in every aspect, even if she was just a friend. I could live and get over the fact that I couldn't have her but as long as I could be her friend, I would take it.

In the past, I was living fine not knowing her personally, liking her like a celebrity crush, only in dreams and never real. But once I knew her, she had colonized my mind, my every thought, my every movement. I found a strong beauty in her personality, an attraction to her laugh, a grace in her actions, the fire in her passion, a love for her weaknesses. Removing her from my life would be painful, devastating, crushing to ever fibre of my being.

I smiled sadly to myself as I slowly made my way home. How did I ever let Naomi get this deep into my heart and consciousness? How can I ever get over someone who I've never even dated? How did I manage to fall in love with her?

The secret that you know
But you don't know how to tell
It fucks with your honor
And it teases your head.

I checked my phone again. Nothing. Naomi didn't text me last night or this morning. What was I expecting anyway? We do text occasionally, playfully, friendly and a night without a text was normal because our texting wasn't frequent but random. Still, I checked my phone every five minutes last night like I had expected Naomi to send me a text. I was fidgety, out of sorts and out of character till Katie had asked what the fuck was going on with me. I couldn't say, I couldn't tell anyone. I could actually tell JJ but that would just mean repeating everything and that would just cause that pain in my heart to start up again. And that pain would remind me that I had my heart broken and I didn't want to feel that.

I dragged my feet to school, totally aware that my first period would be math and I would see Naomi. I was frightfully anxious and slightly nauseated at the thought of seeing Naomi and her reaction. I didn't want to think what to expect. I was exhausted from the fitful sleep last night and I just want so badly for everything to be okay. I just want to curl up into a ball and will the world to pass by me and hopefully my life could magically turn around.

Taking my usual seat with Katie, I sat quietly flicking occasional glances toward the door. Katie was texting away, oblivious to my lack of words. As each second and minute passed, I felt my heart racing. Any moment now; any moment now. After we knew each other, Naomi usually has been coming into class, smiling at me before taking her place beside Cook. She had no idea that such a simple gesture was making my heart do joyful somersaults every time she laid those gorgeous eyes on me.

There was a flash of blonde hair by the window and I automatically held my breath tight in my lungs knowing it would be her. Naomi opened the door, her head appearing to look resolutely down at the floor and slid into her seat beside Cook. That was too fast. And nothing happened. Nothing. Not a smile, or a wave, or an acknowledgement. I felt that familiar pain erupt all over my chest again. I was getting used to these rounds of pain and I wished I wouldn't. It was hurting me. I scrunched up my eyes and willed the irrational part of me to not cry because that would just need lots of explaining to do if Katie noticed.

During the lesson Naomi sat stiff and straight, alternating between taking notes and staring straight at the board, occasionally tilting her head to reply Cook. I on the other hand completely couldn't concentrate. All I could think of is how I could attempt talk to Naomi, face to face, to see her smile at me and let me know everything is fine.

But after class ended, Naomi immediately picked up her bag and disappeared out of class before I could even start packing. I saw Cook calling and hurrying after her. My poor heart dropped like a sack of granite rocks. The emotional abrasion was cutting deep and drawing blood. I bit my lip to stop my lips from wobbling into a crying stance. I couldn't run after her, not when I knew she was running away from me. The more I ran after her, the faster she ran away. How did things get so fucked up?

Everything was on autopilot today. I followed JJ to classes like a shadow, there but intangible. I ate only when necessary. I talked only when prodded for an answer. My mind was perturbed and unsettled. I wasn't specifically thinking about anything, I was just – not there, the kind of feeling that you just have too many worries overcrowding your mind, pulling it in all directions yet you never specifically thought about them but they're just sitting heavily there.

After math class today, Angie told me I didn't have to tutor Naomi anymore if Naomi didn't need it as her grades were improving but hoped that I'll continue to lend a hand if Naomi asked for my help. There goes one of my few opportunities to be around her. I was fairly certain Naomi wouldn't be asking for my help again given our current situation.

I sighed. I didn't know what to do. If Naomi was determined to avoid me, I didn't want to push my way in. Most people would demand to be heard but I wasn't most people, I submitted to their wants. I was a walking contradiction.

I dragged my chair as I stood warily after the last class of the day. I wasn't myself today. Katie noticed it, so did JJ and Panda but they didn't push it. I just wanted to get home and hide under my sheets and wished this were all a dream when I awoke.

Upon descending the stairs and turning into the hallway, my ears picked up shouting. Someone was shouting loudly. It sounded more like a quarrel was happening right in the middle of the hallway. A voice shrill and indignant. It sounded like a girl.

I frowned and strained my neck to take a look at the end of the hall. With a height like mine, I certainly had trouble. A mass of people were in the hall, bunches of them had stopped to witness the scene, others passed by while turning a curious glance at the commotion. Something was indeed happening.

I caught sight of the girl instigating the ruckus and my heart rate sped up. It was Angela, looking furious and yelling at someone else that was blocked from my view by the bodies in front of me. Could it be…?

I gently and quietly elbowed my way through the crowd despite a sense of urgency that had started to burn in me. I was almost reaching the front when a hand shot out of nowhere and touched me on my forearm. I stopped and turned. Effy was the one holding my arm and Freddie was beside her too. She slightly shook her head at me and tilted it to the scene. It was then I realised that the other person being yelled at was Naomi. I shrank back, internally and probably physically. I didn't want Naomi to notice me here, not when something heated with happening right now between herself and her girlfriend. I felt like I was prying into something private but I shouldn't feel that way, because if anything was done publically, I should be allowed to listen.

"I don't understand! I thought we were getting along very well – that we have a lot of fun together. I can't – I mean what went wrong? I – I thought you love me. Just – what did I do?"

Angela was ranting away, wringing her hands in distress and shuffling her feet around. Her forehead was creased, her mouth in a tight line, cheeks splotched red and her eyes were looking wildly at Naomi. Naomi on the other hand was in another alternate stance, coolly leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. Her eyes, which I was so used to seeing so much warmth, were hard and icy, her posture exuding annoyance.

A shiver broke out through me. This was the side of Naomi I had never seen. The cold, unfeeling, heartless Naomi; the girl that probably broke the hearts of countless girls when she broke up with them. I knew she had a reputation for having a different girl many times a year but I kind of forgotten that fact once I got to know her. I thought everything that I heard was false; that this girl that made everything seem beautiful for me was being badly mistaken. Now I couldn't be sure. This Naomi here was not the Naomi I fell for; this was the Naomi that broke hearts, hearts like mine.

"Tell me – what can I do? I'll do anything. Just tell me and I'll change." Angela was a frantic mess, blabbering, begging. Naomi hadn't even uttered a single word, just mutely staring at Angela crumble.

"Nothing. I'm sorry. This isn't going to work out." Naomi finally spoke up, her voice emotionless, flat, tepid.

"Is it because of her?" Angela shouted. "Emilia? Are you breaking up with me because of her?"

Emilia? Who is Emilia? I was confused. I've never heard Naomi mention this girl to me. Naomi knotted her eyebrows as if in confusion too.

Effy suddenly shifted inconspicuously in front of me, blocking most of my view of the scene. I craned my neck and tried to shift out of the obstruction but Freddie also moved in front of me, holding out his hand behind him as if he was telling me to stay where I was, firmly shaking his head. I was perplexed.

Then I got it. Could – could Angela be referring to me? It couldn't – why would – I didn't even think she remembered me. But both Effy and Freddie seem to be shielding me, as if they think it's me, that Angela would fly at me if she knew I was here.

"No!" Naomi replied loudly, apparently looking as though she had figured out that confusion out. "For fuck sake, don't drag her into this. This has nothing to do with her! This is about us."

"It has to be!" Angela retorted. "You spend so much time with her – taking lessons from her, it has to be! Look, you're even protecting her!"

Oh my god. Angela does seem to be referring to me. But I don't understand, how could it be me? How was I ever a threat when Naomi has hardly "hung out" with me apart from the extra classes? Surely there must be a fundamental error somewhere in that conclusion.

"Leave her out of this." Naomi stated firmly, her jaw clenched and eyes boring hard into Angela's ones. "We can't be together anymore."

"Fuck you Naomi!" Angela raised her hand and pointed straight at Naomi, her index finger merely inches from Naomi's face. Naomi hadn't even flinched. "You know what? You're not the one that's breaking up with me. I am breaking up with you." Her voice was shrill and seemed on the verge of breaking.

Naomi gave a slight shrug and shake of her head, "Okay. Whatever that makes you happy."

This Naomi was startling and distressing me. So cold and harsh and so frightening. What if she broke up with me like that? I don't think I can – No no no that wouldn't even happen, Naomi didn't like me at all and she made it quite clear.

Angela raised her hand higher and looked like she was going to slap Naomi. I flinched and wanted to cry out to warn her. I saw Naomi give the tiniest of flinches and pursed her lips. Angela slowly lowered her hand, probably deciding not to. Her face was pale, her lip trembling a little, her eyes looked like it has lost it's light. I wondered if it's an unequivocal truth that the lights in our eyes have been extinguished when someone we love dumped us. I felt sorry for her. As much as I disliked her in the past, she probably did love Naomi, in some way. And I think I understood how that felt, in some way. With a last sob, Angela turned and walked away, pushing through the thinning crowd and disappearing down the hallway.

"Alwrite party's ova, move on." Cook was waving away the last bunch of remaining students in the area. I didn't even notice he was there.

Naomi huffed and puffed out a lungful of air, pushing herself off the wall and scanning her eyes around. They passed by mine but snapped back instantly. I saw her visibly stiffen, her face going pale at the same time as she averted her eyes from mine; her body language tensed up and looked as though she was going to flee.

"Naomi!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. I fucking miss saying her name, calling her name. When you say someone's name to them, it kinda means they still exist in your life. If you don't, they're not.

She froze in mid turn and reluctantly turned back to me. I pushed past Effy and hurried up to her.

"Naomi what happened? Why did she – are you okay – I'm – "

"Can you just mind your own fucking business for once." Naomi harshly cut in, her mouth in an annoyed line, eyes blazing into mine.

I flinched, like I had been slapped instead. A pain sprang into my chest and engulfed me. I bit my lip, holding back a sudden surge of inclination to tear. I timidly looked into those blue eyes, noticing that they had softened and were looking back at me with a mixture of pain and guilt. Pain? If she was hurting from the break up or in any way, I wanted to be there for her, to take it away, kiss it away if I could. I wanted to tell her that she's got me if she wanted me.

She looked briefly down and up at me again, giving me a slight twitch of a smile. I blinked. A tear slid down my cheek. I didn't even realise I had been holding back tears. I didn't even know what I was crying about. I was a sloppy mess. I could understand if she didn't like me if I was that way.

Naomi frowned and reached out instantly, gently brushing it away with her thumb. My skin burned from her touch, then it tingled, and it missed that brief contact. "Sorry," she said. She looked like she meant it, like she was apologising for this and for the kiss. I forgave her, but I didn't know what was happening to us after this 'sorry'.

She stepped back and walked away. Cook was about to follow her when she turned, "Leave me alone James." The tone wasn't harsh; it was just tired, final. Cook stopped short and curtly nodded, watching her hurry away. I felt desperately sad.

"Thanks guys." I didn't know why I thanked them.

Effy nodded at me, her eyes filling with concern. Freddie patted my shoulder, "Take it easy yeah."

I was thankful that I made friends like this. Though we'd only known each other for a short time, it feels comfortable with them, like we just clicked. I was probably thanking them for choosing me for a friend. That must be it.

"Emily."

I was about to leave when Cook called my name.

"Walk ya home?"

He was looking hopefully at me. I had wanted a quiet walk home alone but I guess Cook wouldn't be such a bad company. Maybe he could take my mind off certain matters. I gave a tiny shrug and a half smile as an acknowledgement.

The sky was gray, in the kind of way that the sun was there but you didn't know where it was and that you also didn't know whether it was going to rain. Kind of like me today; I didn't know where I was because I just wasn't there today. If you know what I mean.

I clutched my bag to my side and wrapped my arms around myself. It was chilly, but I know that wasn't the reason why I was cold.

Cook and I walked side by side in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable; I just didn't want to talk or to have anything to say to him. Cook on the other hand had his hands in his pockets and was glancing at me every now and then, kicking up the stones on the ground with his shoes as we walked. He looked like he wanted to talk.

"Ya alwrite Emily?" He finally broke the silence.

"Yeah." I nodded and gave him a small smile.

There was silence again.

He started again, "I hope yer wont hol' it against Naomi for yellin' at yer like that. She mus' be sad or sumfin' ova the… yer know, bein' dumped an' all tha'."

I looked at him, a litte confused, "I thought she was the one that wanted to end things?"

"Not too sure," he shrugged. "She don't tell me nuffin' wif those girls of hers."

I had no answer or reply to that, because I realised I didn't know anything about Naomi's other girls too.

"Don't take Angela's words ter heart, ain't nuffin' ter do wif ya, she was jus' jealous. I know Naomi ain't doin' nuffin' behind her back wif ya." He smiled at me. Part of me wanted it to be untrue but I have no reason to contradict that.

"Is she always hurt like that after – you know – breaking up with someone?" I wanted to analyse how Naomi usually feels or behaves. Maybe I could understand why she snapped like that.

He shrugged, "Naw, I don't think so – sometimes." He scratched the back of his head in thought. "But I know sumfin's bothering her, she ain't sayin' what but I know it."

I nodded again.

"Cheer up Emily," he gently ruffled my hair, "I know ya worried 'bout her but ain't nuffin' we can do now. She'll come back."

I smiled back at him, because how couldn't I? Cook was doing his best to cheer me up. Someone I barely knew was doing friend duties, just like Effy and Freddie. I should be thankful.

I decisively lifted my spirits. We chatted amiably after that. Cook made me laugh. I listened to him talk animatedly about all the shenanigans' he was up to in the past. He asked about Katie, and I made a mental note to tell her that Cook might be interested in her. A usually twenty minute walk took half an hour this time because we were practically strolling and enjoying each other's company. I almost forgot about Naomi.

"This is me." I said as we stopped in front of my house.

"Oh, yeah?" He looked up at my house and then back at me again.

"Cook, thanks for, walking me home and you know – cheering me up." My mouth twitched up for a smile.

He look into my eyes, I noticed that they were blue too, but different from Naomi's. Much different. The hue of blue was different and his eyes were smaller. He looked boyish, standing there with a grin, his hair sticking up after getting blown by the wind and a fitting collared t-shirt that defined his chest muscles. I could see why girls fancied him. I could too, if – if I felt something more.

"James." He gave, what appeared to be a shy smile. "Friends call me James, an' yer Naomi's friend, an' Eff's, an' Fred's an' yer mine too." He mumbled out the last part.

Wait, Cook looks like he's… shy? He was bouncing a little on his feet and clasping his hands behind his back, his eyes suddenly were looking everywhere but mine. I didn't get it, maybe he wanted a favour from me to ask Katie out that's why he looked so nervous. I'm sure Katie would be delighted.

"You're my friend too." I smiled, "And Katie's."

I must have said it right as his face lit up far more than I had seen during the past half hour.

"Bye James."

"Bye Emily."

He bent forward towards me and placed a small but firm kiss on my cheek. It was just an inch away from my mouth. I was stunned; I hadn't expected it. I stood there with my eyes slightly widened at James as he turned a very slight shade of red. Was he blushing? What the – fuck? It disappeared in an instant and his usual confidence oozed out again. He threw a last grin and wave at me and ambled down the road.

No it can't be. James fancied Katie. He was just being charming with that cheek kissing and all that. He just couldn't… like me right? I delved deep into my heart to analyse this unfamiliar situation. He couldn't. I'm not like pretty or what, even though Naomi keeps calling me that. I shook my head dismissing thoughts of Naomi again. Katie's the pretty one yeah. But what if he did? A small spark ignited somewhere. I've never been fancied by a guy; I don't know how that feels. It is a bit… new, strange and yet – delightful.

I snapped myself out of this monologue as I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I shouldn't over think this, it could be nothing and James fancied Katie instead. That felt right. I didn't feel anything about that.

I shut my eyes and snuggled into my pillow. I was exhausted from the events of the day. I refuse to think about them, about Naomi.

The secret that we know
That we don't know how to tell
I'm in love with your honour
I'm in love with your cheeks.