Chapter 7 Broken

Thankfully the remainder of the weekend seemed to pass without any troubles. Walking into school on Monday turned out more awkward than I could have ever imagined though. Anna and I were walking to class hand in hand and we were receiving a lot of stares and murmurs. It made me blush, which caused embarrassment and more blushing on my part.

Deciding against letting the awkwardness take over I leaned down and kissed her on the lips. She giggled and kissed me back before pulling away. We parted ways as I made my way down to Biology class. Dylan and Sam meet me halfway to class. They run up to me with angry looks in their eyes.

"What," I ask hesitantly.

"Why'd you do it?" they scream at the same time.

I groan, "I cannot talk about this right now, I have class." Before they can catch up to me I run away towards the Bio room and weirdly enough I could have sworn I just appeared their like five seconds after I began to run. Glancing at my watch confirms my suspicions.

Out of the corner of my eyes I see the spider again, crawling into the classroom. I stand my ground and start to listen, Ms. Tall is in there talking. Her words are muffled, as if she knows I am here. The only words I can make out are Darren, soon, Octa, Larten and Father. Each word strikes something in me and stirs up memories and emotions I cannot place.

It drives me crazy. For the past week or week and a half I swear there's a part of me inside that I don't know. And I don't even know how to react to it anymore.

As the first bell rings I walk into class. Thankfully all we are doing is taking a test, and since it seems relatively easy I just let the answers flow and keep my mind blank.

However it doesn't do the trick very well. Once at gym I pray that playing a sport will help me somewhat. Of course I forgot one tiny thing. Groaning at seeing Sam at the lockers, I take my time walking to get changed. He gives me an odd look as I change, but thankfully keeps quiet.

Anna walks over to me and gives me a hug once we meet on the courts. Sam fakes a gag and I flip him off, causing him to laugh. We break into teams to play hockey and suddenly I'm not so excited. Football was my sport, and soccer was okay, hockey just annoyed me. There was some part of me that feared the sport, although I've never known why.

We start the game and as the half comes and goes my team is losing, by a lot. For the first time since Friday I get a sense of déjà vu. As we start the next half my head feels as if it's on fire. Wanting it to stop I gain possession of the ball and score.

Suddenly the pain intensifies and the scenery around me shifts. Only unlike the other times this has happened I am still here. I rush to score over and over again, although I don't recognize the other people. A large bulky guy comes up to me and hit the ball at my dick. Holding in a scream if pain I attack him.

The headache disappears and as I come back to reality I notice a senior on the ground with a compound fracture. His blood begins to soak the ground and the white of his bone is visible. We are all rushed away to the field for the remainder of class. Only it doesn't help. Everyone is on edge, me more so than others. I can still smell the blood and my stomach churns. However it isn't the churning of nausea, it's the churning of something I couldn't describe that pained me and made me want to go back.

Feigning sickness I run as fast as I can to the locker room to avoid the almost instinctual feelings my body is putting off. I feel guilty too; I'm the one who caused this. Sam said I wasn't in fault. I was simply on fire with my game when the guy came up and tripped over my stick, flying through the air and landing feet away from me. I didn't know what to say, I know I attacked him, the residual pain still coursing through me is enough to attest that it happened.

Once getting to history Dylan and I stand in front of the class and present our presentation on battle strategies. We finish and the entire class claps. "Matt have you ever thought of going into the military? You're strategies are unusual yet as you proved could be effective."

I shrug, "No, I've been a general and a strategist for years, I couldn't deal with it again." Everyone cracks up and I blush, I was serious so why are they laughing. Wait serious? I've never done anything like that.

Dread flows through my body as I enter the lunch room. My arm is draped around Anna and everyone is smiling at us. Of course the inevitable comes and Sam and Dylan begin to yell at me again.

"Ugh stop it; you guys are making my head hurt more than it already does."

"Then explain," Dylan pleads. "Was it because of Bill?"

"No, he had nothing to do with it."

"Then what the hell Matt, you were great at wrestling. Why did you quit," Sam asks.

"It was unfair," I explain. "I had an unfair advantage."

"What advantage, talent?" Lindsay adds.

"Just leave him alone guys," Anna pleads.

"No way, you're just biased," Dylan whines.

"Just stop," I yell with authority I never knew existed. "I don't have any reason to explain my action to you. I had an advantage that was going to get people hurt. That's it, end of story and you better not mention it again."

My friends sit there dumbfounded while the spider on my shoulder, which had been following me all day, started to clap. Damn it, I need to get off these meds. Oh wait I already was off of them.

"Sorry," the all mumble and I start to feel horrible. They're my friends and I have no idea why the hell I want them to feel submissive. Well submissive is the wrong word. But I feel power coursing through my veins and it somehow made things feel better, yet not at the same time.

All of them stare at me and I look down in shame. Anna turns towards me and pouts. I attempt to give her a kiss and she turns so it's only her cheek.

Aggravated by both their behavior and abashed at mine, I leave the table and walk away without looking back. Not knowing where to go I gravitate towards the bio room. Upon entering I am baffled at how I ended up there.

"I see you Matt," Ms. Tall laughs.

I walk up to her desk, "Sorry."

"Don't apologize, you do it too much."

"Ms. Tall I didn't know you until a few days ago, how would you know from observing me in class?"

"You'll know when the time is right?"

"Let me guess I'll understand what the hell you were talking about this morning to the spider when the time comes?"

"You heard that?"

My heart stops, "I thought you were going to tell me it didn't happen and my meds were messing with me."

"Do you believe that Matt? Now if you're here sit down, have a drink and tell me what's bothering you."

Sighing, I oblige and she hands me a bottle of the soda she gave me last week. "My friends hate me."

"I don't see why. From what I can tell you seem quite popular and likeable."

"Well they were yelling at me because I quit wrestling even though I'm good at it. They didn't understand my decision and thought I was scared of this senior I pissed off."

"But you're scared of yourself," she finishes.

"Exactly, I just have a foreboding of sorts that people would get hurt. Hell I broke a guy's leg today in gym. Well I thought I did, apparently I didn't though."

"Madame Octa saw it, she agrees with both you and your friends."

I have no idea what that's supposed to mean or who the hell Madame Octa is either. All I know is that I'm sick of this. The headache starts back up and as I take another sip I am transported to a morgue. Only this time I return to the classroom before anything can happen.

"Now this is exciting," the teacher muses.

Freaked out that she somehow must have seen what was going on in my head I leave the classroom and roam the halls for the remainder of lunch, this time carrying the bottle of soda with me. For some reason I'd been extremely thirsty and hungry lately.

I walk into Anna in the halls and she hugs me. "I'm so sorry Matt, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I'm the one who did it Anna, not you. Now everyone's pissed at me and I don't even know what to do."

"Stop whining, it doesn't suit you."

"Thanks," I mumble.

"Seriously Matt, we're your friends and even guys PMS sometimes. But that doesn't stop you from liking me or Lindsay so the guys should just deal with it."

"Thanks Anna," I smile as the bell rings and I head to class.

After school I head straight home for the first time since the beginning of the year. With no sport, my afternoon was basically free. By the time Sarah gets home my homework is finished and I have no idea what to do with myself. Sarah asks me to play with her and with nothing to do I would, but a part of me feels strange playing with my sister. Again the spider, which is now on the window sill, nods at my decision.

Confused and pissed I take out my laptop and start to research anything that can explain what's going on with me. It wasn't a surprise when it came up with schizophrenia, paranoia, and drugs. Not feeling the slightest bit better I decide to go outside and burn some of the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

Once outside I take off as fast as I can. Running down the street until I reach local woods, where I take off my shirt and jump in the cold river. I don't know why I did it, hell it was cold enough to be suicide, but I couldn't feel the temperature. Being in the water used to clear my head, but even though I was only waist high it felt as if I was drowning and being pulled down.

Jumping out of the river I take off again. I don't know how far I ran or how long I'm out for, but when I get home I haven't even broken a sweat. My parents look at me funny all through dinner. I look down at the ground feigning ignorance at the odd looks they give me.

By the end it gets on my nerves and I call them out on it, "It's nothing," Mom says.

"then why won't you stop staring at me?"

"Are you doing drugs," Dad blurts out.

"No, why?"

"You quit wrestling, a sign of erratic behavior and you look extremely pale and clammy."

"I'm tired," I lie. "I think I'm going to go to sleep."

They nod at me and I make my way upstairs quickly. My head blazes with heat once more and this time I stay in my room. However a part of me wants to go back down to dinner. Looking around I notice I'm not in my room. It was just like what happened in gym today.

Suddenly a young boy walks in through the door. "You'll pay," he vows. "I killed you and you should have stayed dead. But no, you've come back twice. Watch your back, Prince because your time is running out."

With a blur of movement I'm in my room again. Rushing to the bathroom I vomit, although afterwards I still feel extremely queasy. Looking in the mirror I notice that I am unreasonably pale and clammy. Though it isn't a look of sickness, and the clamminess isn't exactly clamminess, it's indescribable. All in all I looked horrible.

Feeling uneasy I lay down in bed to go to sleep even though it's still extremely early. This has to end, somewhere along the line it seems as if my life is no longer mine. I'm feeling things I don't understand or control, the strange visions, the spider, everything Ms. Tall has said to me, the memories that aren't mine.

I don't feel like Matt Nash anymore, I don't know who I am. But one thing is for sure, whoever the hell I am, I'm broken.