Me:…
Jay: Say it. Say the disclaimer. It's a step to healing.
Me: 0_o' Seriously, healing?
Jay: (rolls eyes) Fine! I'll say it. The whippersnapper doesn't own Teen Titans.
Me: What is with you heroes calling me whippersnapper! You could be my grandfather! He's ALWAYS telling me to mow the lawn and shave his back!
Jay: TMI!
Chapter 7: Suspicion
It's been two months since Gar proposed to Mom. Things have changed for the better.
First, Gar bought the Gamestation 3D XL. I was so surprised I made a high-pitched scream in delight. Mother thought I was in trouble so she accidentally wrapped Gar in dark energy and pinned him on the wall. When she realized Gar wasn't an intruder, she gently eased him on the floor and demanded an explanation. When we told her she rolled her eyes and left us to enjoy our game console.
The second thing that happened was Uncle Cy and Aunt Bee started coming over to plan the wedding. Technically it was only Aunt Bee and Mom because Gar and Uncle Cy were hanging out and playing with our new Gamestation. They worked in one of the extra bedrooms which became an office. When I wasn't playing with Dominic and Patty, I eavesdropped on Mom and Aunt Bee. It was mostly boring ol' wedding stuff, but I did happen to come across some interesting information. Well, it wasn't that interesting. Mother had a secret she only told Aunt Bee. Problem was, I couldn't hear because they either whispered it or wrote it on paper. I always tried to eavesdrop when they were in the locked office but it was all in vain.
Next, I had a lot of free time on my hands since Gar and Mom were always doing stuff together. They usually went to Mom's room, talked for a bit, and then silence. It was really weird. Just silence. Which was really boring. Anyways, in one of my free times, I went to the park to go and relax. When I got there, I saw them.
I saw Brightfire, Skyfire, and Firewing.
They were laughing on a bench and swinging their legs around while eating ice cream with something yellow (mustard?) on top. The 3 sibling seemed oblivious to the fact that their older half-brother was watching them behind a tree. Other kids started looking at me funny but they didn't do anything about it. If you see a super powered kid spying on other super powered kids, then leave 'em alone.
I decided to approach them. Nightwing and Starfire didn't seem to be with them or near the area so I decided to go and chat with them. When I was walking, little Firewing pointed at me and screamed, "Jay!"
Brightfire's eyes widened in surprise. "Jay? What are you doing here?"
"Yeah! I thought you lived in a cave!" Skyfire said rather tactlessly.
I cleared my throat. "I do. I'm just here to hang out. My mother and Garfield are at home doing nothing."
"You wanna pway wif us when we finish our ice cweam?" Firewing asked with his mouth full of ice cream and mustard.
"Sure why not?" I agreed.
After they finished in record time, we played hide-'n'-go seek. It was actually really long to find the half-alien siblings because they never stayed in the same place. I finally found Brightfire hugging a dog in front of the mall. She got mad and called me a glorbag zarbernelk. I did not know what that meant but it sounded like a mean name the way she said it. We both flew around town and spotted a certain orange skinned twin hiding in an alley. She squealed when I had to pick her up and take her away from her new hobo friend Bob. As much as we looked, we couldn't find Firewing anywhere. I was tired from flying too long until Skyfire shook my arm and accidentally hurled me into a tree. While I was taking leaves out of my spiky hair, Firewing came out of hiding and jumped into my arms. It turned out he was hiding in a butchery and was scared from the blood of the pigs. He described it in full detail so Skyfire, Brightfire, and I got freaked out too. It was 6:00 already and I had to go.
"Sorry guys! I have to go." I said. The 3 looked disappointed.
Then Firewing's green eyes shone with excitement. "Come to our house tomorrow!" he yelled and his sisters agreed with about as much excitement. I got a lump in my throat. They didn't know.
"I'm sorry. I'm not allowed there or to see you guys. But we'll see each other again." I replied. Their faces fell. I felt like I was crushing their dreams.
"Promise?" Firewing said and he held up his pinkie finger. His sisters followed his example.
"Promise." I told him and wrapped my cold pinkie around theirs.
"C'mon guys! Mommy and Dad are gonna freak if we show up late for dinner." Brightfire reminded them. They flew hastily after her and I watched them go.
My friends were gone. My siblings were gone.
After they left, I started to fly away back home. I longingly watched them go and started to feel alone. I wish I could hang out with people my own age or have a sibling to hang around with. Feeling miserable, I walked o the beach back home instead of just flying to the front door.
When I reached the front, the door opened revealing my mother wearing her usual uniform. She looked a little annoyed and slightly worried. When she saw me, she gave an exasperated sigh. "Jay, why were you gone so long?"
"I was at the park." I answered. Well, I was! Just not for the whole time.
"You could've wrote a note or something." Mother said. I shrugged. "Come in, Jay."
Gar was laying down on the couch lazily. He quickly sat up when he saw us. "Hey, Jay. Where've you been?"
"At the park, chillin'" I replied casually as we did a fist bump. "What did you do?"
"I was here chillin' as well." he responded nonchalantly. My mother's cheeks turned pink for a bit and she turned away. I raised my eyebrow at her, but I dismissed this awkward moment and walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bag of Lays chips. I opened the bag and munched on my chips on the way to my bedroom. I plopped on my bed and the room was silent except for the chomping of chips and the words in my head.
AW! You wanna have a sibling! You feel lonely! Affection snorted, trying to hold back the teasing. He wore a purple uniform.
Maybe the lovey-dovey dork is right. Little Jay feels lonely. Insult snickered, wearing a light blue uniform.
I thought, Jeez, aren't YOU guys nice!
Yeah I know right? You're so lucky to have emoticlones. Happy beamed. He wore a yellow uniform.
THIS IS SERIOUS! I mentally yelled.
Intelligent popped up wearing his dorky glassed and a plaid uniform. I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet. The answer is so obvious, even Sad stopped crying long enough to figure it out!
Sad was my emotion that wore a black uniform. He was always sobbing and wore a sad expression. I always did my best to stay clear of him. That was just cruel, comparing me to Sad. I thought angrily.
Well he's just a kid. I mean, he doesn't know about you-know-what. Reason argued defensively. If there was anyone that was my favorite emoticlone, it was Reason.
What is you-know-what? I groaned. Suddenly my emoticlones went silent, as if ignoring my pleads. Which they were.
I was angry. My emoticlones were of no use to me. I felt isolated.
Before I went to sleep, I snuck towards the kitchen to get a snack and heard whispering. Curiously, I stopped and listened.
"…you're right. We're not even married yet and-"
"Yes. Let's just wait."
"Deal Rae."
I continued to stand there, stunned. I quickly ran to my room, trying to piece this together.
The following morning I walked cautiously to the kitchen. Why did EVERYTHING happen in the kitchen? All I asked for these days was a meal whenever I went into the kitchen but I usually received awkward moments and surprises ever since Gar arrived. Was a simple meal too much to ask for?
Taking a deep breath, I entered the kitchen with my head down, minding my own business. The faint smell of something burnt lingered in the air. Mom was making Gar coffee and on the table were peaches, kiwi, and cantaloupe in a bowl. Waffles on plates were on 3 place mats. In the center of the table was syrup, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. I smiled faintly at the memory I had when Gar realized we didn't have whipped cream and chocolate syrup in our refrigerator.
Flashback
The first morning Gar was here was a strange one. He walked to our refrigerator and examined the food we had.
"… milk, veggies, fruit, butter, ketchup, hey! Where's the whipped cream and chocolate syrup!" Gar asked Mother.
"My son and I don't need that." Mother responded monotonously.
"That is NOT acceptable! A place without whipped cream and chocolate syrup is NOT a safe place for children! What were you thinking Rae?" Gar scolded my mother playfully.
Mother's eyes flashed white. "If you don't want to earn a free trip to a dimension filled with vicious deformed monsters, I suggest you keep your mouth shut."
"Heh heh, okay Rae."
"Rae-ven!"
End of Flashback
But in the end, Gar managed to convince my mom that treating me wasn't a bad idea and after hours of debating and persuasion, Mother finally agreed to buy whipped cream and chocolate syrup. I think she only agreed because Gar insisted they wouldn't sleep until either one won the debate. She thought he was joking of course, but it went on for a whole day. Mother was so exhausted, she gave up. What Gar DIDN'T tell her was that they could have coffee to stay up all night. When I asked what was his secret, he told me it was 9 frappuccinos and determination.
Mom finally noticed I was sitting down at the table and said, "Good morning Jay."
"G' morning' Mom." I replied while just staring at my waffles. I gingerly picked up my fork and knife under my mother's curious gaze.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"FINE! Just…peachy." I answered quickly and grabbed a peach. I was a little nervous ever since last night's incident.
She finished making the coffee and turned to me with herbal tea in hand. "Are you sure? Because I've never heard you say 'peachy' before."
I chuckled nervously. "Uh, I'm going British."
"Really."
"Yeah well, I'm a strange one Mother. Ooh! Yummy waffles!" I sad, trying to change the subject.
"Hmm." my mom murmured. "You've never acted this way before."
Fortunately, Gar woke up and strode down to the kitchen. "MORNING!" he yawned. "How's it goin'?"
"Fine." Mom replied calmly.
"Fine! Just fine." I stammered. My body trembled. "I'm not feeling very hungry. I'll be here for lunch!" I yelled and ran away, leaving my waffles untouched.
"What's gotten into him?" Gar asked, sipping his coffee.
I heard Mother sigh and say, "I wish I knew."
I slammed my bedroom door shut, panting. My body shook from nervous tremors. I wasn't sure what was going on. It was my biggest fear-not knowing. If it ever happened, I got really nervous and scared; like a frightened rabbit. I would isolate myself from others and keep to myself. The first time I realized this was when I was in that superkiddie's preschool. Yeah, another flashback.
Flashback
It was the first day. I wasn't nervous or scared. Just the opposite. I liked it because I wasn't stuck inside the high-tech cave and I could be free and get some friends.
"Alright, class. Why don't you tell us you and your parents' names one at a time?" the teacher told us. Tots whispered excitedly and a green skinned, black haired boy with blue eyes stood up.
"My momma is Miss Martian and my daddy's name is Superboy." the boy said proudly. "And my name is Martian Boy! But my real name is Kenneth." He sat back down and the teacher turned to pick someone.
"Let's see…why don't you go?" she pointed towards me. I stood up and faced the class.
"My name is Jay Roth and my mother's name is Raven and my dad's is…is…" I paused and I gulped nervously. At first I was just confused and then it started to get worse. At the age of three, it was the first time I realized I never knew my father's identity, much less his name.
My small body trembled and my face showed fear. I gulped again and my hands shook so much I didn't have any control over them. I squeezed my eyes shut and tears came out of my eyes. I whimpered and tried to regain control but to no avail. A toy box was encased in black energy and exploded near some children. They squealed and scooted away from the remains. The teacher looked a little frightened and tried to calm me down. She ran to the nearest telephone and hastily called my mother. Mother appeared the second the teacher hung up, and looked at me with eyes filled with worry and pity.
"It's alright baby. Shhh. It's okay.. I'm here." my mother soothed as she carried me in her arms. She turned to the teacher who was cowering in a corner. "We'll come back another day." she said and we teleported back home.
End of Flashback
That was my greatest moment of shame and the most painful memory I had. I barely came across that memory after the incident. And here I am, still being afraid of not knowing anything. Strange fear, I know, but it's my own fear that can probably be very dangerous. Like my mom, emotions needed constant supervision and control. At that age, I was a handful since I couldn't control my emotions but at an early age I meditated and I have pictures as proof since my mom took pictures. So I always tried to behave so she wouldn't use them as blackmail.
I took a deep breath and started to meditate. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos." I chanted. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."
My body calmed down but every once in awhile I'd twitch. At least I was alright even if I was a spastic quarter demon.
After an hour, I heard knocking at my door. Sighing in annoyance, I opened the door and saw Gar standing in front of me. He looked a little worried about me. I didn't want to bother to explain to him that I was okay. I bet Mom sent him in here because she knew I wouldn't say a word to her and Gar may have a better shot at confronting me.
"Hey." he said.
I looked up at him and replied, "Hi."
An awkward silence filled the air. Gar cleared his throat. "So what's goin' on?"
I looked away. "Nothing much just meditating that's all."
"Mm. But what made you freak out at breakfast? It's not like you to do that." Gar asked, concerned. He held my I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it-so-if-you-wanna-live-get-lost gaze.
I didn't answer. "You're not alone Jay. Your mom and I are hear for you. If it makes you feel better I won't tell your mom. I swear." he said "Your mom isolated herself from her friends. Don't do the same thing."
"Okay then. I happened to, uh, be around here at night." I started to say.
"Go on." Gar said. He looked a little uncomfortable where this was going.
"Well, I was just coming here for a late night snack and I heard you and Mother talking."
Gar made a laugh of discomfort. "Heh, heh. Exactly how much did you hear?"
I gave him a questioning glance. "Does it matter?"
"Yeah."
"Well, the last few sentences when you two made a deal." I answered.
"Ah, I see." he nodded.
We were both silent and I couldn't stand it. "So what was it about?"
He gave a nervous chuckle. "It involves a lot of explaining that you usually get when you're older. Most call it The Talk."
"C'mon! I can handle it!" I said confidently.
"Well, don't kill me when we're done with this." Gar shrugged anxiously. He held a grip on my shoulder and we walked in my bedroom.
About 45 minutes later, I ran out of my room screaming from fear. The Talk was so scarring. Girls…and guys…YUCK! It was so disturbing. I pitied the children who begged for The Talk. And I pitied teenagers as well.
"Why did you scream?" Mom asked me curiously when she teleported in front of me when I was running in the halls. I stopped dead in my tracks.
"You and Gar…EW!" I yelled and ran away. Mother sweat dropped and Gar walked by. She grabbed him with her dark energy and he yelped.
"What exactly did you tell Jay?" Mom asked.
Gar pulled on the sleeve of his uniform. "I…may have given him The Talk a few years early." he stammered.
My mother shuddered. "That poor child." she murmured as she watched me scream and run in a circle.
Yeah. I know, DISTURBING ENDING! I've never had the full version of The Talk myself, but it must be something horrible. Whenever I come across one of the things in The Talk, I get an explanation. Yeahhhh. If anyone is wondering, the thing about my grandpa's just a joke. Anyways, figure this out in any way you want. I don't want to write the full details of what Gar and Raven were talking about 'cause like Jay said, EW! and second I'm kinda lazy. So until next time!-T.W.
P.S. I don't write gross stories involving you-know-what 'cause I have the innocence of a child and those kind of things make me uncomfortable.