Spoilers through 4.08 - Thanksgiving
Santana slid down to perch herself on the edge of the stage, legs swinging and kicking out in front of her as she waited impatiently. The loud thuds from her heels colliding with the hollow wood of the stage reverberated through the empty auditorium. She leaned forward a bit, letting the curtain of her hair cover up her smile as she felt her friend sit gracefully next to her.
"You look a little better than when I last saw you," Mike commented with a wry grin.
Her shoulders lifted halfheartedly into a shrug.
"Guess I had a lot of shit to work through."
"Uh huh," Mike's grin widened. "And which of your Louisville friends helped you out with that?"
Mike's grin was met with an equally exaggerated eye roll. They both knew how many hours Santana had spent on the phone with him simply crying while he listened quietly, trying to be there for her despite being halfway across the country.
(It was the reverse circumstances of what had happened at the end of summer, when she was silently there for Mike when Tina had unexpectedly ended their relationship.)
"I thought you were going to die smiling or have some sort of breakdown after 'Grease.' Seeing that much emotion from you without alcohol being involved always throws me off," Mike added.
"Urgh, shut up Boy Chang. At least I wasn't trailing after the completely insignificant Jan like some sort of Shih tzu."
"Probably 'cause you were too busy staring at Cha Cha's ass."
Santana's head tilted back towards the rafters as she barked out a laugh.
"We really are hopeless, huh?"
Mike quietly picked at the stage for a few moments, avoiding Santana's eyes.
"Actually, Tina and I talked a bit during the musical. We might revisit things in a little bit."
At his words Santana could feel her memories of backstage conversations with Brittany flood her mind and her heart clenched involuntarily.
"That's great Mike," she said as she licked her dry lips. "You guys were meant to be together and have far too similarly named children."
Brown eyes scanned her face and Santana leaned forward slightly to let her hair curtain her face once more.
"You know, it's a lot harder for you to cover up your thoughts when we don't have a phone line and a thousand miles between us," Mike said quietly.
Santana lets out a small sigh. She knows that she should talk about someone about what is going through her mind. Really, she does. She also knows that she felt better after crying to Mike all those weeks ago, so theoretically she will feel even better after using words instead of just broken sobs to express her thoughts.
"Brittany and I talked a bit during 'Grease' as well," Santana started haltingly.
"Santana, that's great!" Mike exclaimed with a grin.
"She made some...hints about us being together," Santana explained before pausing. "I told her that she should move on again. She needs to move on."
She could see Mike's grin melt away, confusion replacing it on his features. Santana skin prickled under his calculating gaze as it scanned her face. This definitely wasn't as easy as their silent phone calls.
"Do you know what you looked like when Tina broke up with you?" Santana hissed out. "'Cause I know what Brittany looked like. Crushed. I had to sit there and look her in the eyes as I tore her heart apart. Watch as she cried for hours afterward."
Mike continued to stare at her silently. Santana fought to maintain eye contact.
"I don't deserve her forgiveness for that," she finally whispered, the sentence still sounding loud in the empty auditorium.
Silence stretched between them, but somehow it was less comforting than their quiet phone conversations.
"Santana," Mike breathed, gaze unwavering. "It doesn't matter."
She snorted loudly.
"No listen to me," Mike said, brushing aside her disagreement. "Tina broke up with me and I'm man enough to admit that I cried for days. And you know what? If she told me she wanted to get back together I would be there by her side in a heartbeat."
Santana tore her eyes away from Mike's penetrating gaze to stare at her shoes, letting his words wash over her. Brittany's tear stained face came to mind again and she fought back a wince at the memory. Forgiveness was too much to ask or hope for in her case.
She can feel Mike clamber to his feet next to her.
"Look you know I'll always be there for you, even if it is just as a silent phone call," Mike said softly as she watched his sneakers fidget out of the side of her vision. "But maybe you should stop condemning yourself and pushing her away because one day you might not find her pushing back."
The sound of Mike's name being called cuts into the tension on the stage and Tina appears out of the curtained wings. Santana blinked against the auditorium lights to see Tina's hand wrap itself around Mike's bicep. Even from her spot perched on the opposite side of the stage she can see his eyes beaming back at Chang number two and sadness floods her chest.
Tina giggled as she tugged his arm to lead him away. Mike spun backwards to give a final piercing stare Santana's way.
"Just think about it, okay?"
Santana gave a hesitant nod, watching Mike get pulled away, eyes trailing over the way Tina clung tightly to his arm. The heavy silence of the auditorium pressed in on her, but Mike's message echoed in her mind.
Her eyes fluttered closed as Mike and Tina retreat behind the curtains, trying to recall all the times Brittany had guided her like that, but all she sees are the blonde's tear filled eyes.