I don't own anything to do with Rick or any character from the Walking Dead. I own the OC characters, Ruby and Paul, however, and I adore them.
Summary: Shane's been killed by Rick and the group doesn't trust him anymore. So what does Rick do? Snap. He finds a girl in the woods and takes out his aggression.
Yes, I know if you've read my other stuff you know that I was a Shane girl, but Rick is awesome, too. So I decided to play with him a little. Rate and comment if you like! Thanks, and please, no flames. They are... unhelpful.
(So, check it out, guys! TWO new chapters in one day! My muse decided to make an unexpected return, and she brought cookies, so, after staying up all night for work I popped these two babies out before bed. I truly hope you like it. Watching the show, I loved how they did Lori and T-Dog's death (awww. T-Dog!), and I hope it doesn't look like I'm copying here. The deaths aren't over, but I'm not saying when or who. The reviews I've been getting have been awesome, you guys, and I truly, truly appreciate it. I love you all, and Taylyons, Musashi, Padme, Summer, and Emberka, as well as Kit-Cat- you guys are my reason for writing. Your kind words have warmed my heart and I cannot apologize enough for not updating sooner. I pull, like, a 75 an hour work week and I never get to sleep, so thanks for bearing with me here. Even WorkIt- you didn't care for the story as much but you provided criticism in a open and gracious manner, plus you made a very good point that I intend to work on, and for that I am grateful. See? I wish other people would realize that we're all just people here, and you can be nice about it, doesn't have to be hurtful to give negative feedback, right? Take care guys, and I'll update again soon! 3 )
Rick felt the sunshine before he opened his eyes. He was on his back, looking up at a brilliant blue sky through the branches of a massive tree. He blinked, pressing his eyes closed tightly before opening them again. A faintly warm breeze blew over his face, and he realized he felt light, like he could float away at any moment.
"Hey. You're awake."
It was Lori's voice, calm and steady, from somewhere near. Sitting up, he saw her in front of him, sitting on a checkered blanket in the pretty blue dress she wore when they first were married. Her hair was loose and blew softly around her face, and she was smiling.
"Where are we?" He asked, but his own mind answered the question as he spoke. It was a park not far from her mother and father's house. A place they had frequented on pretty summer days when they were young, and again after Carl had been born. They would take a picnic and push him on the swings, reveling in their child's bright laughter.
She didn't answer his question, instead smiling patiently at him. "Been waiting for you to wake up for a while."
"Sorry." He tilted his head to the side. "How long have I been asleep?"
"Hours. You must have needed it."
Something wasn't right. He felt like he was supposed to remember something but he just couldn't. Frowning a little, he tried to clear his mind. It was fuzzy, like he was still asleep. "Lori, what happened?"
"You'll remember, but enjoy now, Rick. It's important." She seemed sad.
He looked around them, suddenly feeling very uneasy. "Where's Carl?"
"Playing with Shane." She pointed behind him and he turned. Across a short distance, he could see Carl holding a baseball bat. He was looking off to the right and Rick followed his gaze. Shane was looking back at the boy, his back to Rick and baseball in his hand. He looked like he did years ago, laughing and smiling easily, before he went so very very wrong. He tossed the ball to Carl and the boy swung, the sound of the bat hitting the ball echoed back to he and Lori, followed by the sound of laughter.
Looking back at Lori, Rick shook his head. "This isn't right. Something's wrong."
She let out a low breath and shook her head. "I know. But it's the way things are now. You can't go back."
He was suddenly afraid, and whipped back around to find Carl again, but the boy was gone. Instead, Shane remained, but he was no longer the cheerful guy that had been tossing the ball. It was the way he looked after he'd turned, when Carl had shot him. Blood smeared his freshly broken nose and his bald head and face had turned a sickening gray. Stifling a cry of horror, Rick looked back to where Lori was sitting, but all that was left there was a large pool of blood marring the clean blanket she'd been sitting on. In her place, there was a wrapped, tiny bundle that lay motionless. The sky became dark, flashed with lightening and a sharp gust of wind hit him with a force that seemed to push him back a little. His stomach churned dangerously.
Rick woke with a start. It had been a dream. Thank god, just a dream, and he was... where was he? He didn't recognize the bed he found himself on, or the dim darkness enveloping him. His brain fought to become coherent, to get his memory back on board, but when it did he felt that overwhelming sickness in the dream wash over him again, and he retched audibly.
"Rick. It's ok, I'm here." He heard Ruby's voice, and her cool hands were on his face. "Breath, Rick. Just breath."
The memories came back to him all at once, and he very literally had to lay back again. The birth, Lori's turning and the gunshot, the screaming, T-Dog falling under the rotting body of the walker and Daryl running from the house.
"Oh god..." He moaned and put his palms into his eyes, pressing hard as if he were going to push the thoughts out physically.
"I know. I know, Rick. Breath..." She consoled softly, letting the sobs wrack his body and holding him tightly. He wasn't sure how long they stayed there like that, his head in her lap and his breath heaving and catching as he struggled for air. His grief was quiet but steady, a testament to the man himself.
After a while, he allowed his swollen eyes to open, and stay open. Soft moonlight lit the room only barely enough to make out shapes in the darkness, and he realized they were in the back bedroom on the first floor of the house they had cleared. Moving slightly, he saw that a large dressing bureau had been pushed to almost completely block the window. The light shown in through a space of about a foot on the top. They lay on the medium size bed in the room, and he could see her sad face above him, looking at him with such compassion he knew that everything he remembered had actually happened.
"Carl?" He whispered.
"He's with Carol. He's safe."
"Where is everybody else?"
"After... everything... Daryl and Paul secured the house. Found some candles and stuff and they're out there, waiting for you. But take your time. We don't have to move for a while."
"Oh god..." He sighed, his breath catching again, and his hands found his face, rubbing hard.
"I'm so sorry, Rick." She rubbed his cheek gently. "They are just outside, we can give them a good burial tomorrow."
"What happened to the baby?" He clearly didn't want to ask, but couldn't help it.
"You sure you want to talk about this now?" She asked tentatively.
He sat up, anger flooding his body. "What happened to the baby?"
She let out a deep breath. "Hershel thinks the baby died a little while ago, Lori must have gotten infected. He's..."
He looked at her intently. "He's what?"
She pressed her lips together. "He got scratched, Rick. He hasn't turned, I don't know if he will, but Paul and the girls are keeping him separate for a while, watching him."
It was the last straw for him. He felt anger rushing through his body with a will all his own. Pushing away from Ruby he stood and crossed to the door, tearing it open and slamming it against the wall with a loud thud. Instead of trying to stop him, Ruby just followed behind him anxiously. He marched down the hallway and into the large living room, where he saw Glenn and Maggie huddled near a candle lit in the center. Daryl sat on the floor by the sliding glass door, watching through covering that had been placed over the openings to block any light. He stood quickly when he saw Rick, his fingers reflexively tightening on his crossbow.
"Where is she?" Rick demanded, and Daryl's eyes narrowed. He knew better than to fight Rick just yet, and he shot Ruby a look that said for her to stay back.
"This way." Daryl said and gestured to the garage. Rick moved past him quickly and Ruby followed Daryl after him. Throwing the door to the garage open, Rick's eyes fought to adjust to the blackness. A light from behind him, lighting the shapes of bodies on the ground. Ruby had grabbed a candle from the counter, and stood in the doorway with Daryl, watching him. He stepped back and grabbed it from her, and stepped forward again. The bloated bodies of the homeowner and the child were against one wall, further down were two covered forms, and from the outlines he could tell which one was Lori. He stepped forward and went to his knees next to her. When he began to pull the cover back Daryl put a hand on Ruby's shoulder.
"Just let him do it." He said softly, and pulled her back toward him a little. She looked at him, almost frightened, and then back at Rick's who sat there, unmoving. Finally, she nodded, and let Daryl lead her back to the living room.
Ruby sat on the couch near Maggie, who had long ago drifted off into a fitful sleep, and she stared into the flickering candle flame. The silence was only broken by the sound of Glenn's deep breathing from the floor on the other side. Daryl had taken up his position watching again at the door while they waited to see what Rick was going to do. There was no way Paul was going to leave Beth to watch Hershel alone, so she hadn't seen him in a couple hours. Carol had taken Carl to a bedroom upstairs to cry, and Ruby was sure the poor boy had long ago passed out from exhaustion. She couldn't imagine, even in this world, what it was like to watch your mother die like that right in front of you. Especially being so young, how on earth was he going to process it? What kind of a grown up was he going to be now? It was enough to make a normal person psychotic, and it was going to be up to all of them to make sure that didn't happen. The fact that Rick had passed out had surprised her- she'd never seen him react in such a way, he was usually so proactive, but really, when she thought about it, it shouldn't surprise her. It had been overwhelming, that was all. He'd fought so hard to keep them safe and to realize there was absolutely nothing he could have done had to have been horrible. She just hoped he didn't do anything rash now, and be there for his son now.
The thoughts played like a record in her head, lulling her into a kind of trance. So when she heard Rick come back from the garage in a flurry of motion it made her jump visibly. He swept past them to the doors where Daryl had planted himself.
"Wait, man. Hold on." Daryl hissed when Rick went to open the door.
"Get out of my way." Rick bit his words at him, brushing off the hand Daryl held out to steady him. Ruby saw Rick had a large knife in his hand and she felt her heart leap in her chest.
"You're gonna bring 'em down on us you go out there like this, man. Just hold on." Daryl spoke firmly, but Rick wasn't having it. He shoved Daryl to the side and threw the back door open, disappearing into the moonlight. It woke Maggie and Glenn, and Ruby ran after him. Daryl grabbed her arm and yanked her back as she passed him.
"No! I'll make sure he doesn't get hisself killed. Stay here." He ordered and she hated it, but she gave a curt nod and watched Daryl vanish into the darkness beyond the door after Rick. She felt the tears she had been holding back for hours finally start to flow freely over her cheeks, but she steadied herself and locked the door firmly after them. Sinking down against the wall, she brought her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them tightly.
"Ruby?" Maggie came to her, sitting down close, shoulder to shoulder. "You ok?"
"No. What are we going to do now?" Ruby's words reflected every ounce of hopelessness she felt.
"Just what we can do." Maggie had tears of her own falling down her face, and wrapped her arm around Ruby's shoulders tightly, resting her chin on Ruby's head.
"If Rick doesn't come back..."
"Don't say that." Maggie stopped her, throwing a sad look over to Glenn, who came to sit, knees to knees with them. Somehow, the closeness between the three of them seemed to be the only thing that would make any of them feel any better at all, if it was even possible at the moment.
"Rick's gonna work through it, Daryl's gonna make sure they both come back." Glenn assured her.
"Have you ever seen him like that?" Ruby asked.
"No. But then again, it was Lori, you know?" Maggie answered.
"And T." Glenn said, his eyes clouding over again. The man had become a brother to him, his gut twisting with loss and grief.
Ruby nodded. "I know. And Carl... god..." She fell silent, letting Maggie hug her tightly. Words didn't really work anymore, and none of them felt the need to try and fill the void.