Chapter 3! Year 3. Just before Spring break Lauren seems down. Professor Snape takes it upon himself to inquire.

It's a little longer than the last two, I think, so I hope you all can enjoy. And just so you know, I got a nice joy boost when I woke up this morning/afternoon and found even more watches and favorites and even a review and a pm. I'd like to thank PandaWong, SandyLovesKittens, XenaHades, nightworldangel, FonzFan, The Yoshinator, and Isa'ralia Faradien who's going to be translating this story into French. I'm extremely thankful to you all and I hope you enjoy this next chapter and all the others! =3

Disclaimer: Only things I own here are Lauren and my idea for the plot. Everything else is property of its respective owners, mostly the wonderful J.K. Rowling unless otherwise stated.

Chapter 3 - Little Miss Hopeless

For the last day before a break she seemed rather pensive, rather down. It was odd because the girl, when not crying, was usually upbeat and happy. It was a bit annoying but it was her way and sudden changes in his students like this were never good… It hadn't been too sudden though now that he thought about it.

For the last two weeks at least an aura of sadness had floated over her, a perpetual gloom covering her usual sunny demeanor.

It had not affected her studies as far as he knew. In his class she was just attentive, and in Charms he'd learned, though Flitwick had noticed her sudden depression as well and questioned Snape about it. He was a touch insulted that the miniscule man thought Snape the cause with all the detentions she'd been earning for her poor potions performance but no matter. He was used to being blamed.

And perhaps that was the cause but, if so, why was it just starting to affect her now? She'd been in detention at least once a month every other month since he first began punishing her for botched potions and she had yet to verbally complain.

What was wrong with her?

He looked at her from his seat for a moment, very easy since she was almost directly in front of him just slightly to the left , and saw her sigh as she scribbled down another messy, purple line of notes. Around her most of her peers had stopped this, focusing instead on day dreams of their coming spring break. It was frustrating but would come to bite them in the ass later and not him. He wasn't the one with a paper to write over break.

She took a pause, set down her quill and just, stared at an empty spot on her desk for a long while.

Why so pensive?

She did this till the bell rang and he called out to the quickly packing class. "Do not forget your essay, due upon your day of return. No exceptions." He heard several groans and disregarded them, stepping away from his desk and to hers in three long strides.

She was still sitting, slowly tucking away the purple journal she'd been using for note taking this year. He set a hand on her desktop and she looked away from her task and up at him, a small, questioning smile raising her tanned cheeks but not reaching her eyes.

"Stay for a moment Ms. Dari" he responded to that smile and she gave a curious look but nodded.

"Yes sir."

She packed the rest of her things as he went back to his desk and stood to follow him, standing before him as she had so many times.

He sat again, folded his hands on the desk, and looked into her eyes.

She did not look away, though that position made her nervous. Was she getting another lecture? What had she done today? Was it because she'd stopped working ten minutes before class got out? She knew she should have kept working. She blew a sigh through her nose and he began speaking.

"What is wrong?"

"H-Hu?" was the inarticulate jumble that fell out of her as a response.

"You have been pensive as of late, and unhappy. I am not the only one to have noticed but it seems I will be the one to ask. What is wrong?"

A long silence stretched between them and she looked down at her shoes, jolting him slightly. Something really was wrong. What…

"Nothing." The lie was blatant and made him scowl. It left a bitter taste in her mouth, one she was familiar with. "I'm fine. No worries." Her gaze trailed back to his and she smiled a smile so obviously fake he couldn't even be moved to be angered by it, just… pity it.

"Do not lie to me Ms. Dari. You are not very good at it."

Her smile faltered and she looked down again. "N-No. Really. I'm okay, just… a little tired."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tell me" he began "do others believe you when you say these things?"

Another silence then "yes… not that they ever ask how I am."

He watched as she shrugged, the sadness in her voice ringing with truth. That look felt, familiar. That voice as well. He saw a little more of himself in her and leaned back in his chair. Silence swallowed them and he considered very carefully his next words.

"I am not them."

She looked at him quizzically and he elaborated.

"I am not others. I am myself and I do not like being lied to, especially when the lie is so blatant. I am asking you a serious question and expect a serious answer. What is troubling you Ms. Dari?"

He suppressed the urge to sigh as the words finished. There. He'd said it. The words he himself had always needed to hear as a youth and had never gotten, the concern that might have kept him from this life of bitterness, a life line no one had thrown him. He'd cast it out to her now and waited to see if she would take it, save herself from his fate.

He caught her eyes and she looked scared, shaken. Her hands trembled, something he realized happened quite often to her, and she took a slight step away from his desk.

"I… I" she was battling with herself. Never before had she been posed with this question, outside of her home at least, never had someone called her out on her lies. Why would they… Why was he? She almost wanted to press on in the way she had. Smothering the bad feelings was habit, you didn't break habit… but what if that habit was destructive?

"It's… it's not a lot… I just…"

He waited for her to continue. She was caving and he knew it.

"I… I'm a failure" she finally pushed.

His brow furrowed.

Now it was her time to elaborate.

"I-I'm a third year and I've never once brewed a proper potion. I'm hardly passing transfigurations and my wand refuses to cooperate with Defense against the Dark Arts." She huffed and clenched her hands into tight fists. The expression on her face as she looked down again was one of anger and he thought it did not fit her at all.

"I'm a Ravenclaw. I'm supposed to be brilliant but instead I'm just… I'm just me! I'm just a failure and I… I don't want to go home as a failure. I don't want to disappoint mama and papa. What can I tell them I learned when I go back home? How can I face them knowing how brilliant they both are and being a fool myself?"

Tears collected in her eyes then fell, brown cheeks flushing a dusky red.

"And it's not fair." She said this in a soft voice, much different from her previously escalating volume. "I try so hard, I really do, but things never go my way… Some days I just want to give up, just quit school and run away. It sounds nice. I'm about to go crazy. I can't stand the way they look at me. All of the teacher especially. You especially. The way you look at me that tells me just how hopeless I am. How much of an idiot I am… It makes me want to give up."

She deflated completely after this statement, shoulders sagging, hands unclenching to hang limp but still shaking at her sides. More tears fell and she felt pathetic standing in front of her professor, crying like a baby. Had she really just done that, said that? Had she really just thrown a tantrum?

She couldn't bring herself to look up at him, just flinched when she heard him stand and felt him stop to stand just at her side.

Silence came again and she tried not to break it with sobbing or sniffling. Stop crying, stop she wanted to urge herself but couldn't.

Two minutes of this and then he spoke.

"Ms. Dari."

She slowly turned to face him but didn't look up.

He sighed above her and she felt fingers on her chin, tilting her head upwards.

Ivy met onyx and she blinked curiously, her sight obscured by tears. She could not quite make out his expression but knew that even if she could she'd still be in shock at his actions.

The cloth of that familiar handkerchief, the same one he'd handed to her last year and several times since when she injured herself and cried, brushed against her cheeks. He dabbed away her tears with a gentleness no one would ever expect from the cold potions professor and brushed her frizzy hair from her brow.

She just stared up at him, thunderstruck and speechless as he held her chin a little more firmly and made sure her eyes met with his.

"You are a fool Ms. Dari" he said bluntly. "You are a fool because you disvalue your own brilliance. Tell me, how many other third year students know Aguamenti. How many others comprehend the advanced Potions material I require them to copy in detentions and incorporate this information into their papers? You are a bright young woman, despite your shortcomings in the practical application of Potions you understand. I cannot say anything for your performance in other classes, I do not teach them, but Flitwick at least values you as a protégé."

He frowned as she continued to gape at him, stuttering out a soft "b-but."

"But nothing. You are… you are not hopeless" oh how he wished someone would have told him that years ago. "You are one of the few students I enjoy teaching. If I look at you in any particular way it is with hope that you will overcome whatever it is that keeps you from achieving your fullest potential. You are not an idiot and I will not allow you to give up."

He released his hold on her and she let her wide eyes stay set on his own. "I… I" she couldn't quite form words, still processing his. Had he just… really?

"Professor" she sighed finally, looking down. "I… Thank you."

"No thanks are necessary. I simply gave you the truth, now" he turned to his desk and scribbled yet another note, handing it off to her, "get to class."

She nodded, taking the note and gave him another smile, this one reaching her eyes. "Have a good break Professor."

"You as well, Ms. Dari."

She turned and left him. He watched her go.

In his chest he felt… light, lighter than he had in many years. He supposed it was the feeling of pride, of accomplishment, of fulfillment in knowing that he may have just saved a life, a life so different and yet so similar to his own. She was a girl much like him as a youngster he knew, a person who internalized things like pain and worry and who would explode when the limit of suppression was reached. He knew that feeling well and hoped he would be able to help her with it. It felt like it could earn him just a bit of atonement for his multitude of sins.

He went to sit at his desk, leaning back as he gazed at the kerchief in his hand. Still damp from her tears he spelled it clean again wondering quietly what it felt like to have someone wipe your pain away. He hoped it was nice, that it had given her some comfort in her frantic state, and wondered if he'd ever truly know.

Hope this wasn't too terribly out of character for Snape, I've just always thought that behind all that callous coldness there could be a very caring heart that didn't want others to suffer like him. And I hope Lauren's not bugging you yet with her little episodes. I'm kinda going for teenage insecurity, nothing too dark or terrible just, ya know, the kind of stuff a lot of teenagers go through. Don't know about you guys but I always got at least a little upset when I did bad in my favorite class.

Anyway, got questions, comments, or ways I can improve? Drop a review. If not, thanks for reading anyway! Have a great day/night/other!