Sam's confession stunned Dean making him gape at him. Sam looked at him, waiting for the answer from Dean's lips. When Dean didn't answer Sam repeated himself, "Well?"

Dean closed himself off, turning away from his brother, "You don't want to know."

Sam scoffed, the sass dripping from his voice, "No Dean, I really want to know."

Dean's head snapped up, his face deadly, "You want to truth? Fine! You want to know why I hate you Sam? It's because she chose you! She left me behind and never came back, perfectly content with the other son that she had, not even caring that she left her first born behind with the monster that she had married. And yeah Sam, Dad was a monster. Not to me, no, he wouldn't touch a hair on my head. I was his solider, the perfect one. Never questioning him, never saying no. If you even knew the half of the stuff that I did for him I would be in jail for life.

I wasn't his son, and I wasn't mom's either. You were the only one that either of them would talk about, Sam this and Sam that. Why aren't you like Sam Dean? Why couldn't you stay in school Dean? Why didn't you become some big fucking hotshot lawyer like Sam Dean? Why are you such a disappointment? You are never going to become anything. You're going to die alone with no one around you because you are worthless.

Do you know what that is like Sam? To be compared to the fucking little brother that you only knew for three years of your life? To never see that little brother to know what made him so much better than you? I never saw you, I never saw her. No one wanted me, they all wanted you.

Did you even know that you had a brother? Was I even mentioned to you? Did Mom even talking about me in fleeting? 'Oh Sam, I forgot to mention it, but you have an older brother that you have never met and never will. Just don't forget to include him in the will when I die, he might like that vase on the counter.'

How was I supposed to react to you Sam? I walked into your graduation hoping to see that my little brother was just as human as I was, that he had flaws too. But no, I couldn't have been more wrong. Top of his class, valedictorian; Mom and Dad both cheering from the audience while I hid in the shadows and watched. Do you know who came to my graduation Sam? No one. Not even Dad, he was to busy fixing an engine to see his son get his diploma.

So tell me Sam, why do I hate you? No really, I want to know. What gives me the right to hate someone like you? I think the better question here is, what gives you the nerve to hate me?"

Sam turned away from his brother, his stomach dropping into his toes. "I never knew Dean. Hell, Mom didn't even talk about you until I was fifteen. She took a sudden interest in making sure that I would do something with my life. I know now that it was because of you. She didn't want me to turn into you."

Sam faced his brother, tears in his eyes, "I had this estranged brother who never came to see me, was the shame of the family. I thought that you were some criminal, some whacked out murder that Mom and Dad were afraid of.

I came to see you once, couple years back. You were working in the auto shop, your head buried under a car. You looked normal, sane in fact. But it was when a man came around back, slipping behind you and whispering something in your ear I knew that there was something going on there. I watched as you two went out back, you handing him something in a bag. That's when I you were a lost cause in my eyes. My brother, the exact person that I had been told about for the last couple years of my life. The doom that I was never suppose to become."

Dean practically growled, getting right into Sam's face, "You ignorant bastard! The reason that I knew how to take care of that girl, the reason that I can do everything that I do, the reason that I know all that I do is because of Dad. His automotive shop was a cover Sam! And I was dragged in kicking and screaming into his job. I was twelve years old when I put my first dislocated shoulder into place, thirteen when I stitched Dad up for the first time. I watched as deals were made in the living room, as people were shot behind the shop. And could I do anything? No. Dad had me in it before I even knew what was happening. He had me working at the shop, apart of his ring without my consent. So what could I do? Take the fall and spend the rest of my life in prison for things that I never did? Or sit there and let my father ruin my life, maybe help and slowly shut it down from the inside? I'm not the bad guy here Sam. I was trying to shut down Dad's operation before it got out of hand. I was trying to make it go away! I'm not the bad guy! You were just told a pile of shit your entire life and you ate it with a golden spoon, thanking Mom for every bite that you got!"

Sam tried to speak, but Dean interrupted him, "No! I don't want to hear another word out of your mouth. I've heard enough Sam, and I don't want your pity. I don't want you to understand. I just want you to know the truth. You've heard it, now piss off and leave me alone. Fix your problem and don't come crying to me. You just lost me as a brother, I am going to drop you off tomorrow and I am never want to see you again."

And then Dean walked away, leaving Sam behind, the crowd slowly fading away.

A/N: Okay, let me say this first: I am not a mother. I can only imagine the pain that would come from leaving your child behind when you left. So in my mind Mary coped with the pain by inventing a different version of Dean that would be easier for her to let go, hence the version that she told Sam about. She believed in this version of Dean so much that he eventually took over the real version, leaving only the terrible, sad Dean that you read Sam talking about.

Secondly, I believe that is exactly how John would treat Dean. Forgetting that he was his son and treating him like another solider. Yeah, I know.