Chapter 8! Year 5. Good vibes between Lauren and Snape, a little bit of Christmas cheer, and a deciding moment for the both of them.

Sorry to be posting this so late. XD It's the longest chapter yet at seven pages on Word, I shortened it from ten, and my internet is being screwy so I've gotta plug in with the ethernet cable that took me forever to find. XD No more excuses though, I had a good time writing this, even though I think it ends on an odd note.

Um, there are a few things that pop up with relevance to this story but that aren't super important, like Raw Magic and her uncle Benjamen. You'll see them when you see them but just know, that book is completely fake and non cannon as is the Hornwell family and Raw Magic, though there are a few theories about it floating around on the internet. I'm not completely sure where I got it from but let it be known that I'm pretty sure that's not something I came up with. =3

Anyway, it's not too important in this story but, if I go on to the bigger one I've got in my head, it might be.

Once again super duper big thanks to PandaWong, who sent a lovely review that made me super happy, SandyLovesKittens, XenaHades, nightworldangel, FonzFan, The Yoshinator, and Isa'ralia Faradien. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter and all the ones after it.

Also hope you random readers enjoy~

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Lauren and this plot. ^^

Chapter 8 – Little Miss Success

Christmas holiday started tomorrow. In the morning Lauren would be going down to Hogsmead with everyone else returning home and catch the train.

She was excited for it, Christmas was one of the most festive holidays for her family, but she was also frustrated. She still hadn't made a potion and it was just a short time till the O.W.L's now. Just after spring break which was practically right around the corner in her mind.

And now was the only time she had to try and perfect at least one potion before the New Year, before she went home. Wouldn't her first brewed potion be a wonderful gift for her dad? She thought so and she really wanted to be able to give it to him but that couldn't happen if she didn't actually brew anything.

With a flustered sigh she pushed open the door to the Potions room and poked her head in. Professor Snape was sitting at his desk like always, waiting for her, and as was customary with these extra lessons had their plan written on the board.

"Ms. Dari" he greeted, standing.

"Evening Professor" she smiled, going to her desk where ingredients lay, waiting patiently for her to use them. "Trying for a calming drought this time?"

"Yes. I feel one would be useful to you, what with the O.W.L's approaching this spring."

She nodded in understanding. "If I can get it right it certainly will be."

She knew the properties of this potion already, he knew she knew, and so there was no need to lecture on it, not even briefly. Instead they went right to brewing, he sitting at her side while she worked.

As she began cutting ingredients he stopped her, as he often did, with a hand over her own. The first time he'd done that she'd been surprised, his fingers were cold and she'd never known him to be touchy, but that had been over a year ago. She understood now that it was the fastest and most direct way to stop her actions without an abrupt instruction to stop that may or may not have come out harshly depending on his mood for the day. It was considerate of him and she smiled, looking up at him curiously.

"Thinner" he instructed shortly, hand moving to let her continue.

She sighed, still smiling and tried again.

They had learned through trial and error that a large part of her problem was inconsistent measurements. She was not good at determining length or width with her eyes, or a guide for that matter, applied too little pressure when grinding things with the mortar and pestle, and often misread the scale. Additionally, her shaky hands made cutting difficult and sloppy.

They were problems both of them had been working to fix and she had gotten better, but she still needed guidance and instruction when doing something as simple as measuring out quantities.

"Not enough" he prodded, gently, as she sometimes found herself flustered with too many corrections one after the other. It had been a bother before, her hands shaking more, cheeks flushing till she'd finally just give up for the day and leave his room nearly crying or, worse, actually crying. It drove him crazy but when he'd finally caught her before one of her daring escapes he'd realized that she was still that same, sobbing second year, afraid of disappointing him. He'd tried to ease up after that, for both of their sakes, and it seemed to be helping but he was still wary.

She kept smiling though, added another small pinch of chamomile to the scale and he gave an approving nod, watching her little hands work busily, not shaking. It seemed they'd get through today alright…

He still had the bigger issue to consider though.

It was the main reason for her explosive mishaps, though he'd not confirmed it, for this was something hard to confirm. He was fairly sure though that she still possessed Raw Magic. It was the same Magic imbued in children, the magic that functioned on emotion and thought, that had no structured guidance. Once a young witch or wizard started learning spells their capacity for Raw Magic usually fell, keeping them from the magical outbursts and leaks that were common in childhood.

There were a choice few though who held on to that power, in some it even grew. For that lucky, or unlucky, bunch their magic tended to be particularly explosive and guided by emotions. Many found themselves unable to perform with lighter, delicate spells, losing proficiency in many charms but excelling in those built for offence or the use of raw power.

Many a dark wizard possessed Raw Magic.

She seemed to be the opposite of them though. As long as she was given a spell, something to focus on, she could channel the proper amount of energy into it. It was in subjects like Potions where a wave of the wand gave no written standard of power emission or spell to speak, and in things like Transfigurations where there was little margin for error, say a spike in power, that she struggled. She was just letting loose far too much energy. It was the reason things tended to explode.

They needed to find a way around that, rather, he did since he had not told her of his suspicions. It wasn't that this ability was anything bad but he knew her confidence was not the best, for whatever reason, and that she did not need another reason to feel inadequate or odd.

As she added the ingredients to the cauldron, one after the other, he frowned. Stir twice clock wise and then wave your wand. This was about the time at which her potions fizzled, if they didn't when adding the first few ingredients.

"Ms. Dari" he spoke as she stirred through once.

"Yes?" she kept her eyes on the cauldron and stirred again, then picked up her wand nervously.

"Pretend you are casting the Cheering Charm. That is the amount of power necessary for this particular potion."

Her brows knit together but she nodded, holding her wand above the heated pot.

She waved it once, the tip shining, and then set it down, inching slightly away from the desk.

Snape leaned forward, looking into the potion. It turned from its previous, creamy yellow to light blue, the color it was supposed to be exactly.

She had done it. She had brewed her first potion.

"Congratulations Ms. Dari" he said, voice betraying a bit of pride. Two crystal vials came flying into his waiting hand and he ladled out the potion, corked the bottles, and set them before her. "This potion is a success."

She gazed at the little blue vials wide eyed, mouth hanging slightly agape. Really? Really, really, really? Did those two little vials really exist? Had she made that blue liquid inside? Really…

"Yes!" She jumped up excitedly from her seat, arms in the air. It was the pose of a victorious champion and he almost laughed. "I did it! I did it!" She swung around to face him. "I really, really did it! Thank you Professor! Thank you!"

He cringed when she hugged him, not because it was unpleasant per say but because he was not used to such close and sudden contact, especially not from his students.

"Ms. Dari!" and that was as much of a scolding as he could manage looking down at her smiling face.

She remembered herself however, what she was doing, and let go falling back onto her bottom with a yelp and a laugh.

"S-sorry! Sorry" she smiled and he couldn't help rolling his eyes as the tears gathered and then fell down her smiling, tan cheeks. "Sorry. I'm just so happy!"

He shook his head and held out a hand to help her up. From his sleeve a handkerchief was summoned and he held it out to her.

"Thanks" she sniffled, drying her eyes quickly. She held it back out for him to take but he pushed it back towards her.

"That is yours" he said and she blinked up at him curiously. He gave a small, incredulous smile and elaborated.

"It occurred to me some time ago that you cry too easily Ms. Dari." She pouted.

"It also occurred to me that, regardless of what I say, you will not stop being the impulsive, emotional young woman that you are. I have no qualms about this, only hope that you will not let yourself be hurt as easily as you let yourself love." And that was something he truly meant. She was a girl so vulnerable, so trusting and loving and open with herself. He worried for her, as odd as it seemed, worried that someone would realize her sweetness and take advantage of it, take it away.

She looked a little dumbstruck as he regarded her again and gave a, in his opinion, goofy looking smile. It was… endearing.

"I did however realize that you had nothing better to wipe your tears with than your sleeves when I was not present, and even when I was at times." He certainly didn't look guilty, though he felt just an inkling of it as he thought back to all the shouting and derogatory comments he'd aimed at her over the years.

"And being that it is the customary time for gift giving, I thought I might remedy that… That kerchief is yours" he restated. "I hope you will only find use for it in times of happiness, like this one."

She looked at him, then down at the little square of fabric in her hands. It was white but for the right corner where a chamomile flower was stitched. The sunny yellow of its middle made the whole thing feel happy to her and she hugged it to her chest as she looked back up at him, smiling.

"Thank you so much Professor" she said and was a little sad that she couldn't properly convey her thanks with words. "I just…"a few tears fell and she dabbed them away. "You're amazing."

The fondness in her eyes, the caring reflected there when she looked at him, was so strong and foreign that he didn't quite know what he was looking at for a moment. It was not often that people gazed upon him with such warm and friendly love, such adoration.

"Thank you" he managed to spill out, feeling a bit away from himself at the moment. He nearly jolted when she jumped up in her spot with a quiet exclamation of "oh!" and rushed to her bag.

When she returned a large, leather bound book was in her arms and she was grinning from ear to ear. A few crumpled pieces of parchment stuck out between the pages, a few colorful tabs poked out here and there, but it looked to be in good condition, whatever it was.

She held it out to him, bouncing on the heels of her feet. "Sorry it's not wrapped" she said timidly. "I just got it in the post yesterday."

He regarded the tome with slight curiosity, reading over the title. Zacharias Hornwell. Potions Theory, Practice, and Development. First Edition.

His eyes widened. This book was… it was nearly priceless! Hornwell had written this original in the late nineteenth century. Only a small batch had been published and most were destroyed in a long ago crusade against magic. It was a shame because it was one of the first written guides on Potions and had paved the way for many of the modern practices they followed today.

Certainly, there had been copies made since then, modern conveniences were a wonder, but there were only seven of the first editions in existence that he knew of. How had she gotten a hold of it? His eyes asked as much.

"This is my copy" she told him. "I got it for my ninth birthday when I told Uncle Benny I wanted to learn potions. I've read through all of it now, don't use it for much, and daddy still has a copy at home that he got from Uncle Benny too. I thought you might have better use for it."

"Uncle Benny? Ah, no, Ms. Dari I cannot accept something as valuable as this. Perhaps you do not know its worth…"

She frowned. "I do. It's one of seven. My family owns two of the seven… three if you count Uncle Benny's copy, and the others are in museums and other people's libraries. Now you can have a copy in your library too."

She held it forward a little more insistently and he considered taking it.

"This… Uncle Benny. Is he aware of you gifting this to me?"

She nodded. "Him and daddy know, they said it was thoughtful of me."

"Indeed." He took the book in hand, watching her smile grow again. "Might I ask, how did this Benny come to own three copies of the first addition?"

"Inheritance" she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I thought you knew him, Benjamin Hornwell. Zacharias was his, great great grandpa? Three times great? I always forget" she laughed.

"You're related to Benjamin Hornwell?"

"He married my Aunty Cassidy and visits us all the time. He's one of my favorite uncles cause he always brings me books when he comes over and lets me stay in his library all day if I want when I go to his house."

Her fondness for the man was clear and Snape almost smiled. He turned back to the cauldron, gently setting down the book, and filled another vial with the draught. "I assume you will be seeing him this holiday?"

"Yep" she grinned.

"I am sure he would be pleased to see the fruits of your labor as well. And send him my thanks will you?" He handed her the vial and she nodded enthusiastically.

She'd never been so excited! Not even when she'd gotten her letter or been sorted. It seemed odd, it was just a calming draught, but it was something she had worked and worked and worked towards for the last five years of her life and this was one huge step in the right direction, one step farther towards whatever future she might want.

She set the vials in the secure inner pocket of her bag while he went to place his new book somewhere she didn't quite see and then strolled up to his desk.

Was that it? Were they done then?

Her spirits fell as she thought. Now that she'd achieved her goal, did that mean these lessons would stop? Did that mean he wouldn't welcome her around anymore? She'd never given much thought to what might happen after she did what she wanted to do, success had been so inconceivable, but now that it was there in her hand…

He turned back to her, a little confused. She'd stopped short of actually reaching his desk and was looking down at her shoes with a concentrated, somewhat sad frown.

"Something troubling you?" he asked, taken aback by her sudden gloomy demeanor.

She looked up at him, her eyes so open and expressive, he caught all of her emotions in them, still happy, but worried, apprehensive and a little lost.

"Is this… is it the end of this then?"

Her voice was so quiet he would have missed her words if not for the silence in the room.

A few moments ticked by as he regarded her. She'd had the same thought as him then? He too had wondered if, after she met success, she would move on and away from him. It seemed to be the way things went where he was concerned. No one often wanted to be associated with him for long and her questioning threw him slightly.

Did she want these lessons to continue? If she didn't why would she look so sad?

He folded his arms behind him, regarding the small girl standing nervously before him, her shoulders drawn in, head down, eyes up. She looked like that same little first year he'd dragged crying to Madame Pomfrey's so many years ago, looked exactly the same, so unsure and so… so trusting. That gaze, the way she looked up at him said 'I trust you to do what's good for me' and that's what it had always said, he just hadn't realized it.

Someone trusted him, trusted him the spy… He would not betray that trust.

"What course of action would you like to take Ms. Dari?" Would she stay or go? Dance out of his life, become just another student in the front row, or stay and continue to grow? Continue to become more of a person to him. He wasn't sure which he would prefer. Times were getting dark and those close to him often suffered. He did not want to put her in harm's way but, he supposed, she was already there if she associated with both Harry and Draco. It was a thin line she walked. Would he stretch it thinner?

"Do… Do you want me around?" Her timid voice broke through his thought and he regarded her with that same incredulousness she so often warranted. The things she said!

"Would I be giving you the option to stay if I didn't?" he replied smartly and she looked down, realizing her own folly with a slight, humorless laugh.

Why was she so unsure of herself? A girl with talent and potential she was but with no confidence she would get in her own way he knew. She was doing it now as she stood, biting her lip and trying to say what she wanted. He decided to help her, ease her along.

"If you wished to continue with these sessions, perhaps in preparation for your O.W.L's, I would not object." She wanted a solid answer, there one was. He would not object to her continued visits. How much more direct could he get with this, short of shouting 'just stay!' which he was not going to do.

It had about the same effect though and she smiled a little.

"I'd like that."

He nodded. "That is what we will do then."

Her smile grew and she pushed her fingers together in a shy and fidgety gesture. "Thank you Professor…" Her hands dropped to tug at the hem of her sweater and he wondered what she was planning.

It took quite a bit of effort to keep a straight face when she asked "can I… Can I have a hug please?"

He just stared for a moment, gauging her level of seriousness. This was a legitimate request and he frowned. "Wasn't the one enough Ms. Dari?" he asked. Regardless of how much he cared for her, he was not a fan of physical contact.

"That one didn't count" she insisted. "You didn't hug me back."

She pouted and he continued his stony stare. It was an eye to eye battle that neither of them wanted to loose and he had to commend her, not many students could keep is gaze for so long.

Eventually though she sighed and looked down, conceding defeat. "Alright, alright. I suppose I was hoping for too much" she laughed and let her eyes drift to the clock on the wall. "And I guess I should head out. Just twenty minutes till curfew and I don't want her to catch me."

She kicked at the floor and turned to go collect her things. He followed behind, intent on walking her out as he sometimes did.

She shouldered her bag and they wandered to the door. She still looked a touch dejected as she reached for the handle.

"Have a Merry Christmas okay Professor?" she asked, giving him a smile.

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her thin shoulders, squeezing her gently. It was an unusual sensation, hugging someone, and when her small arms came up to wrap around his waist he wondered if it had always been so warm. Her head rested on his chest, just over his heart, and he swallowed hard.

"You as well, Ms. Dari" he spoke quietly before letting go and stepping back. "I will see you upon your return."

This smile wasn't goofy, just warm and very happy, a little giggle escaped her when she noticed his somewhat nervous appearance. "Yeah… See you then."

Her smiled turned to a grin and she pulled the door open, disappearing down the dim corridor.

He stepped back into the room once she was out of sight, closed the door, and rested against it.

What was wrong with that girl? And what was wrong with him, indulging her like that?

He sighed. She was like a little flame, attracting the most broken of people, drawing them in… comforting them. Her joy spread like warmth and got under the skin, leaving an impression on one's heart and mind, leaving an impression on him…

He left the door and returned to his desk, intent on grading a few more papers before retiring. Before he did that though he removed the book from a drawer and decided to look through it.

An envelope greeted him, sitting on the first page, his name scrawled on it in her distinctive messy handwriting. With nothing better to do he picked it up and opened it, pulling the folded parchment inside it free. It read:

Dear Professor Snape,

I hope you can get as much use out of this book as I have and more. It means a lot to me, and you mean a lot to me too so I thought this would be a good match.

I really want to say thank you for all the help you've given me over the years. I know I can get annoying sometimes, I'm not always that bright, and I tend to destroy things but you haven't given up on me and I can't thank you enough.

You're the best teacher I've ever had and I hope I can keep learning from you.

Merry Christmas!

Love Lauren

He read it twice, then three times, then four, setting it down after the fifth read through. He'd been thrown after that second sentence and it had taken a while for him to wrap his mind around the rest of the letter. He wanted to throttle her for, once again, putting herself down. She needed to learn some self-worth, but her words touched him in a way that was unusual and… pleasant.

Setting the letter aside he began to go through the book, flipping to marked pages where she'd left him notes and a few more letters where she would compare the subject matter upon the page to something he had taught her. Some of them were quite humorous and he never got around to doing that grading, instead he retired with a cup of tea and his book for a thoroughly enjoyable night.

So? What do ya think? I got warm fuzzies while I was writing it, really hope I didn't get too terribly OOC with things though. XD I might've and I'm sorry if I did.

If you've got any questions, comments or advice send them my way~ And if not have a good day/night/other!