Chapter 16! Year 6. Snape thinks this may have been a mistake. Lauren just wants him to be honest.

Sorry this is so late in coming guys! My internet's been down, just got it work a bit ago. XD On the bright side, I've got two and a half more chapters done so there'll be two more updates after this~

So happy you all liked the sweetness of the last chapter, this one's a touch bitter to balance things out but does end on a happy note. Hope you all can enjoy it. =3

I really wanna thank PandaWong, who left yet another lovely review, SandyLovesKittens, XenaHades, nightworldangel, FonzFan, The Yoshinator, a constant reviewer~, Isa'ralia Faradien, Lost Astronaut Of Apollo 11, I wish I could pm you to say thanks for all the great reviews, hopefully this chapter will have him a little more in character for your tastes =3, Readergirl99, DrainaPurpurne2412, who also sent a lovely review, sara253xxx, another reviewer~, XenaHades, innocentrini, FangScarlet, newest follower sarah-.-lou.94 and anonymous reviewer Bree.

You all are super amazing and make writing even more fun.

Thanks to the random readers too~ Hope you all can enjoy!

Chapter 16 – Little Miss Mistake

This was a mistake.

He realized it on that Christmas night nearly a week ago. As he wandered back to his room, sat there in his chair and stared hard at the one she had previously occupied.

Kissing her had been a mistake, continuing on as he had, speaking with her, not reprimanding her. He realized once he was alone, away from her sweetness and warmth, that this could not end well for either of them, was not wise, was not legal.

She was his student, he her teacher. Any kind of relationship between the two of them was unethical and, until she was of age, a crime.

It was a mistake, but one he had made. Yes she was wrong for what she had done, been out of line, but he had been the one to further things, allow them to escalate into that second kiss. And why? Why had he done something so terribly foolish?

He had gone on for years repressing those urges, those feelings of attachment for anyone. Ever since Lilly… ever since then he hadn't cared for anyone in this way. Yes there had been attraction, brief trysts in his youth, he had his experience, but he hadn't cared in a long while. He hadn't worried and wondered over a woman in forever, had not wanted more... a relationship?

Did he want one now? He was sure that even if he did nothing between them could truly count, could work out. It would be a fragile, already broken thing for while he was not fragile he was a broken man. Even if he wanted to care for her more, to love her, he didn't think he could. All he could offer her were strained affections and flighty moments of his foolish tenderness, moments like that one.

It was a mistake. And so was this.

He raised his head as the door to his classroom creaked open. Her brown hair was in his view, and then her green eyes and nervously smiling face. She'd been nervous all week with him, apparently waiting for him to get mad, to punish her.

He'd considered it but what would it solve besides hurting her? He could do that without taking points or giving detentions, could do that just fine… Had been doing it.

Just yesterday he'd cut their conversation short when she got too close to the subject of Christmas, the day before he'd only let her stay for an hour, excusing her with less than kind words. And it wasn't for any particular reason; he was just being short, feeling it and being it. He supposed it was his subconscious way of trying to gain distance, undo what had been done. It was a lousy way to go about it, and ineffective.

She kept coming back after all.

"Yes?" he asked when she stayed standing in the doorway, tugging apprehensively at the hem of her sweater.

"Can I come in?"

"You're in here already aren't you?"

She looked down, he looked down. That jibe was not at all warranted.

"I mean… do you mind my company today? I… Um I wanted to ask a question."

"Come along."

She shuffled quietly to his desk and sat down in the waiting chair. Silence stretched on as she sat with her hands in her lap and twiddled her thumbs, looking at everything in the room but him.

He could only continue to watch her for a little while, the temptation to start sifting through her mind rather great. Couldn't she just say her piece and move along?

She worried her lip then looked up at him, eyes shining with tears behind her glasses. Her voice was quiet but her words were strong as she spoke.

"Where do you get off treating me so badly?"

He gaped at her.

"I just… If you don't like me say so, if you want me to go away tell me. I don't want to but I will if it's what you want. Just stop treating me so badly, please. I'm sorry about Christmas, I shouldn't have… I shouldn't have…" her voice cracked despite all her trying, all her effort to be strong. She looked away and armed at her face, purposefully not using her handkerchief.

"I care about you Professor. More than I should I guess… And it was probably silly of me to think that maybe… maybe you…" She gave a flustered sigh and looked back at him. "I'm just a girl I know, I'm stupid some times, most times, and if I could I'd take it back… well no, I wouldn't, not because I wanted to, but if it meant we could go back to normal I would forget. It's only been a week and I miss our being friends. I'm tired of you being so cruel... I'd hoped we could spend New Year together but… Do you hate me? Do you want me to go? I will, I swear I will just tell me. Be honest."

And she tried her very hardest not to cry, she didn't want to, didn't want him to see. He'd told her once that crying got you nowhere in the real world and she believed it. It was weakness and she didn't want to be weak, not right now. She had cried too much in front of him, because of him, she didn't want to cry anymore. She wouldn't.

Taking a deep breath she held the tears at bay and met his gaze.

"Ms. Dari-" he began and she cut him off.

"Just yes or no please" she didn't know if she could take a whole conversation. "Do you want me around?"

He folded his hands and brought them up, looking over them as he often did at the shaking, teary eyed young woman sitting across from him. He felt awful knowing that he was once again the reason for her tears, for her pain. This was why nothing between them could work, he was too hard on her gentle sensibilities, too much for her emotions to handle.

How many times was this now that he'd made her cry? How many times since her long ago first year?

By all rights she should hate him, this would be easier if she did, but she didn't. It would be easier for him to hate her, send her away, think of her as nothing but a foolish little girl who'd played with his mind, gotten under his skin. But she wouldn't, she wouldn't hate him, wouldn't leave despite his poor attempts at chasing her away. She kept coming back, but she wouldn't forever.

The better part of him wanted her gone, knew it was what would be best for her, but the other part, the deeper part wanted her here. Still knowing that nothing good could come of it he wanted her there. Wasn't it the human condition to want something you shouldn't have? Couldn't have? Wasn't it instinct to take it?

She cracked under his intent gaze and stood, a few tears falling free.

"Okay" she sighed. "Okay, I'll leave. I-I'm sorry. I just…"

"Stay."

He stood too. It still amazed him how small she was, how he could tower over her. "Stay… If that is what you want."

She blinked up at him as he walked around the desk, stopped in front of her, put his hands on her shoulders.

"It is not the wiser choice" he informed. "But if it is what you want…"

"Is it what you want?"

He paused, his eyes searching hers and replied softly "I do not know."

Another bit of silence came between them and she nodded slowly. "Okay… Okay then we'll… we'll figure it out. We'll try."

She smiled softly and pushed up on her tiptoes, pressing a shy kiss against his lips. She was still upset with him, probably would be for a while, but what would acting it get done? She'd realized over the years that he did not apologize, even when he was clearly in the wrong. Sitting around, pouting and carrying on like a spoilt child would do nothing for her but maybe make him mad and lower his opinion of her. Things would be better if she just accepted this, his allowance for her to choose, as apology enough.

He returned the kiss briefly, which was nice and honestly not expected on her part, then pulled away, clearing his throat as his gaze settled on the wall behind her.

"I will let you know now that such… affections will not be a regular occurrence, and never public."

She deadpanned. "Obviously. I might be stupid but I'm not that stupid."

He frowned. "You may be a fool but you are not stupid."

Her head tilted, arms crossing over her chest. "There's a difference?"

"Yes." He nodded shortly.

"Well, thanks then" she smiled, rather cheekily. "Glad to know I'm a different brand of stupid."

He smirked despite himself. "Five points from Ravenclaw for impertinence."

"What?! B-But-"

"Don't pout" he touched her head affectionately despite his cold tone then drew away, going to sit back at his desk. "It is about time I show you some sort of discipline anyway. You are still my student after all." And that was true, she was. She was his student and this was wrong but she was so sweet and so warm and for whatever reason she wanted this, she wanted him, wanted to try.

She pouted in that terribly endearing way and dropped back into her chair. Then she smiled at him and he had to marvel at how easily she smiled, just as easily as she cried, though she was getting better. He was amazed at how quickly she had let them fall into their normal routine, their normal conversation, and how natural it was for him as well.

Given the gravity of the situation only moments ago this all seemed sudden and he was still unsure, still didn't know, but he was willing to try.

"You mentioned something about new year?" he asked, folding his hands on the desk.

She grinned. "Yep. Dumbledore told us at breakfast that he'll be opening the astronomy tower at eleven. We'll be able to see the fireworks from Hogsmeade. I know you're not a festive person but you must like fireworks. Doesn't everyone?"

"I doubt that highly" he contested. "They tend to be rather noisy."

Her smile faltered. Was he saying no?

"But I suppose I would not object. If I recall correctly Poppy brought cookies and hot chocolate last year, and the year before. It may be worth it."

And five hours later it was worth it. Though they didn't stand too near to one another, though her attention was divided between him and the fireworks and a little herd of first years she was partial to he enjoyed himself, enjoyed watching her face light up with that bright smile as she started to countdown with the rest of the room.

"Happy New Year!"

The call erupted all around him but he only heard her voice, only saw her smile and her sparkling green eyes as she turned to him. He hoped that look of elation, pure joy, could stay on her face forever. He wished with all his being that he could be the one to put it there, to keep it there, to make her happy.

Perhaps this wasn't a mistake. Maybe instead it was a happy accident?

And there it is~ I wanted to end on a sweetish note and I think I succeeded yes? A certain reviewer kind of read my mind when they said they expected Snape to be more unsure of himself, whether I'd done this New Year chapter or not he would have had these thoughts at some point after the whole 'heat of the moment' thing with last chapter had died down. XD

It was really fun to write Lauren sort of standing up for herself, not a lot but a bit, and show that while she's still young she's matured enough to realize that she can talk to him and deserves to be treated kindly.

Um… Not much else I can think to say so, questions, comments, or advice? Throw em my way! I always appreciate them and take them into account when writing the next chapter. And if you've got nothing well thanks for reading! Have a good day/night/other~