Chapter 23! Year 7. Heroism sometimes causes pain and feelings can not always be said. They can be shown however.

Probably the most serious chapter I've ever written. I liked it, hope you guys do too~

As always thanks and smiles to PandaWong, SandyLovesKittens, XenaHades, nightworldangel, FonzFan, The Yoshinator, Isa'ralia Faradien, Lost Astronaut Of Apollo 11, Readergirl99, DrainaPurpurne2412, sara253xxx, XenaHades, innocentrini, FangScarlet, Beesy, Sevre, Mrs. Barnes and anonymous reviewers Bree and sirolives.

There'll be an authors note at the end as always so til then I hope you enjoy reading!

Chapter 23 – Little Miss Love

They walked in single file to and from classes, Death Eaters flanking them.

She didn't much mind but it sent the firsties to shaking and she tried to keep an eye on them till their paths started to deviate and the years were separated.

Sometimes they would stumble, miss step and fall out of line. She corralled them back quickly when she could, not wanting them to get in trouble, but she supposed she couldn't catch them all when she watched a young Hufflepuff boy trip over what seemed to be nothing at all and barrel into the man beside him.

The Death Eater, one of the Carrow brothers she thought, pushed the small boy away and to the ground, a sinister look on his face.

He drew his wand and the entire crowd flinched, not wanting to witness whatever hex he had prepared for the small boy.

Her fist clenched and, before she could think any rational thoughts, she stepped out of line too and ran to the boy's side. She stood in front of him and glared hard at the black clad man. "Don't."

He scowled at her, wand still raised. "Move before I move you."

"No. If you're going to punish someone, punish me. He's too small, you might kill him. Even if you torture us you're still supposed to keep us alive. I'm bigger, I'll live. Punish me."

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Luna, along with the rest of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff house, gaping at her. The blond looked like she wanted to say something, do something, but she didn't. Lauren didn't fault her for it, this was probably going to hurt rather terribly and the less people who had to suffer through the better.

The man continued with his unattractive sneering and then, before she could steel herself, he flicked his wand.

"Crucio!"

She fell to the floor writhing. It hurt so much, so much that she couldn't think, couldn't breathe. She opened her mouth to scream but didn't know if any noise came out, she couldn't hear and couldn't see past the painful, bright red clouding her vision. She wanted to cry but she didn't think she could and knew she shouldn't, she shouldn't give him the satisfaction.

When would it stop though? She couldn't stand much more, her whole body felt on fire. Why wouldn't it stop?!

Suddenly it did and she fell still, body too worn out to even gasp for breath. She couldn't help the tears that slipped from the corners of her eyes as she lay there and watched her vision come back slowly, blurred because her glasses had been dropped in her fall.

Mutedly she could hear a voice, one she recognized… Draco?

"You idiot!" he was shouting at someone. "What've you done? What've you done!?"

She was starting to get the feeling back in her limbs now and pushed herself up on her elbows with obvious effort. Draco came into view then, standing over Carrow with a fist raised. Had he punched him?

Another Death Eater, one of the Carrow's slow cronies, came into her slightly limited field of vision and looked first at the downed man, then Draco, then her.

She thought she saw him blanch but couldn't tell with her bad eyes.

"You're not supposed to touch that one" he said, sounding a touch panicked. "That one belongs to Snape. You aren't supposed to touch her…"

"What?" that was Carrow's voice, and then…

"What is going on here?"

That was Severus's voice and it was the greatest comfort she'd had in a while. Forcing herself to her knees she turned towards him, caught his gaze, then looked pointedly at the man who had caused her this pain.

"He used Crucio on her!" Draco shouted, summarizing the events simply before charging the rising man again. They both fell in a heap and the younger landed another strong hit to his jaw.

Lauren flinched when she heard something crack and hoped no one had just had something broken.

Severus had the other man drag Draco off of Carrow and glared hard at both of them.

"What is the meaning of this?" and she shuddered. His voice was dripping with anger and it was clear to her that he was seething. If looks could kill the two would be ash and she felt compelled to say something, anything to appease him, get rid of that look.

"It's okay" was the first thing that spilled out and all their gazes were on her again. She tried not to grimace and made herself stand slowly after picking up her glasses. "I told him to do it."

"What sort of foolishness-" Snape began but she cut him off, rather brave, or stupid of her.

"He was going to… I didn't want him to hurt the little one." She looked over her shoulder and found the boy still there, shaking and looking up at her with tears streaming down his face.

She forced a smile toward him. "Stop that. I'm fine. Get back in line."

He nodded and returned to the line still shaking, trying not to sob.

She turned back to the terrifying group and bit her lip, eyes locking with Snape's. "He's just so small you know. I was afraid the pain might kill him. I'm fine though, it doesn't even hurt anymore" that was lie. "I'm fine and I'm sorry to have spoken out. It's my own fault though and I've been punished so…" she trailed off and looked at Draco, he looked away.

She sighed and took a step back towards her line, ready to return to it and go to class.

Severus didn't seem to agree with that plan though and caught her tight by the upper arm. "You are coming with me" he snarled, letting go once the words were said. He began walking and she hesitated as he continued to speak, glaring at the men as he passed.

"Carrow, go to the infirmary. I will deal with you later. Malfoy, go to class and come to my office immediately after."

She stood still for a moment longer, stunned and still sore, then jumped. His voice was so loud as he shouted.

"Lauren! Come!"

She straightened up her posture and walked briskly to his side, giving Luna a look of slight reassurance as she passed.

She tried not to look pained as she walked but she didn't do very well. He noticed and slowed their walk but said nothing as he led her to the Head Master's office.

She was relieved to have a chair to sit in when they got up to the room and sighed with slight contentment as she sat. Though the worst of the pain was long gone there was still an ache in her skin and her bones that felt like needles worming their way through her body. It hurt enough to make her want to cry but she was trying not to. He seemed so upset, she didn't want to add fuel to the fire.

In front of her he was pacing, back and forth behind his desk. She didn't say anything to him about it, didn't say anything at all, but watched him intently as he moved.

It was the first time she'd seen him so closely for nearly a month and a half now and it was spoiled because he was so angry and… Was that worry on his face.

Suddenly he turned to her, slammed his hands down on the desktop and shouted. "What were you thinking?!"

She wondered if he actually wanted an answer or if he was simply vocalizing thoughts. Either way, she'd told him. She thought that poor little boy might die from the pain. Sure it wasn't likely but hey, it hurt more than anything she'd ever felt and she'd gone through a lot, felt a lot of pain.

"Well" he prompted and she realized it wasn't rhetorical.

"I thought better me than him… He was so little-"

"Fool" he scoffed and rounded the desk so that he could stand right in front of her, take up all her personal space. "This is exactly why I didn't want you to come back, why you needed to stay home. You're a reckless little fool."

She scowled at him. "So I should've just let him get tortured? I should have let that bastard use an unforgivable on a first year?"

"Perhaps that would have been the wiser option" he suggested, hands braced on the chairs arm rests now as he leaned down to her face.

"It would have been the selfish option, the cowardly option" she retorted. "I did what was right and you know it!"

She gave a huff and looked away, heart thumping hard in her chest. She hadn't meant to shout but he was frustrating her, they all were. People kept questioning her, her loyalty, her feelings, her choices, her actions. They questioned every little thing she did and she was tired of it. Was it so hard to believe that she knew what she was doing, that she could make a proper decision for herself or someone else?

"Lauren"

She turned her gaze back to him slowly.

"How would you feel if you saw me in pain?"

She frowned. "I'd feel awful."

"How do you think I feel?"

Now that just wasn't fair. Her shoulders slumped and she looked down at her lap. Save one person from pain, cause it for another. She still stood by her choice but she felt bad now. She'd meant what she said in the summer about not wanting him hurt and knowing that she'd caused him pain…

"I want to say I'm sorry but if I do it means I admit being wrong… I don't think what I did was wrong. I didn't think it would hurt you though."

"You never think about these things" he chastised. "You think of everyone but me it seems. Though I take every precaution with your wellbeing, make you untouchable, you still find a way to get yourself hurt. Quite the skill" he sneered.

She took another deep breath and looked away once more. She did not want to shout again, did not want to make an ass of herself, but she couldn't take this. Why was he trying to make her the bad guy?

"I didn't ask for that" she said, regretting it as soon as the words came out.

"Oh? You'd rather be subjected to torture with your little friends then?" he glared.

"I didn't say that either. I just…" her eyes came back to his and she felt herself crack. He looked so genuinely hurt and angry and she couldn't take it. Against all her wants and better judgment, against her will, tears began to flow. "Stop it" she cried, to both him and her tears. "Just stop it please. I didn't want any of this to happen but now it has and there's no taking it back so stop."

She looked down at her lap, ashamed of her tears, of her outbursts, of herself. How was it that he brought out the best and worst of her, that he could pull out those emotions of fear and disappointment better than anyone else? If this had been anyone else her chances of standing strong would have been much better but she couldn't take him, couldn't take thinking she'd disappointed him, knowing she'd hurt him.

He stood straight again, leaned back against his desk, and watched her.

The look on his face was unreadable, neutral, but inside there was a storm of emotions. He was angry at her for putting herself in harms way, for disregarding the precautions he'd made to keep her safe, but he was also angry at himself for making her cry. He was worried for her wellbeing and still felt the residual fear from earlier when he'd seen her there on the ground. He was sad because she was sad, and sad that she seemed to never think of how it would affect him when she jumped into these crazy things. Perhaps he was selfish for it, for always wanting her consideration before she did things, but could he really help it? He'd lost someone before and he didn't want it to happen again. If she just thought more carefully…

He ran a hand through his hair and looked down at her. He wanted to offer her comfort, touch her, hug her, but he was afraid his actions would be rebuffed. He didn't think he could handle it and instead settled on fetching a pain relief potion from behind his desk.

"Drink this" he said quietly, pushing it into her hands.

She uncorked it and did as he said, trying not to grimace at the taste.

It help though, dulling the ache to nothing more than an uncomfortable stiffness in her limbs. She handed the bottle back to him and muttered a soft thanks, still not meeting his eye.

"Anything more I can do?" he questioned.

"Mind if I take this block and next off? I'd like to take a shower… maybe a nap too."

He nodded. That sounded reasonable. "Would you like to shower here?" He realized belatedly that that offer was perhaps not as reasonable, or at least not ethical. He did have a shower up here though and she wouldn't be bothered. He looked at her, she seemed a little surprised at his offer, and rolled his shoulders. He was feeling a little stiff too.

"If you wouldn't mind." The answer shocked him a bit but he nodded and pushed away from his desk, walked around to the back of the room where there was a door blending in with the wall.

He pushed it open and she followed him into the Head Masters quarters. He didn't sleep in the large room very often since he preferred his place down in the dungeons but it served to be convenient when he needed it.

He pointed her to the bathroom, told her where the towels and soap were, then left her to her own devices.

She stripped down and hopped into a hot shower when she knew he was gone and leaned against the wall under the spray. It felt so nice and soothing and she felt all the tension flow out of her slowly. A few tears and then a few more slid down her cheeks as she released the rest of her built up frustrations and then she let herself start to openly bawl.

Away from him and his smoldering black eyes she felt secure enough to drown in all the feelings she had, all the guilt, sorrow, anger, and fear. She was amazed she'd been able to keep it in for the most part. Sure she'd cried a little in their previous altercation but she was a wreck now.

She just felt so terrible.

Sliding slowly down the wall she sat curled up in the tub and let the water fall over her. It would be nice to stay there forever and if not forever at least half an hour. She closed her eyes and hoped that half hour or however long she stayed in here would pass slowly.

She just wanted some time to herself, time without the pressures of training or studying or fearing for her life and the lives of those around her. Some quiet time, some peace… She sort of wished he was here though, but not the him in the office. She missed him from the summer, when they'd sat together after that first awkward conversation and he promised to protect her, she missed him from the days after, the weeks after, the him who would hold her close for no reason some times and who told her she was precious, his darling…

The water started to run cold and she frowned, turning it off before she froze. How long had she been sitting there?

She left the shower and wrapped herself in one of the towels, dried her hair with her wand and cleaned her clothes.

Just as she was going to put her shirt on there was a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" she called.

"I was simply checking on you… You've been gone an hour and a half now."

"Oh?" she blinked, surprised. "Well I'm fine." And then she yanked the door open and looked up at him with a slight smile. "See… A-Okay," she seemed to have forgotten that she was only in her underwear though.

He looked her over then threw his gaze back to her face as soon as he realized her state of undress.

"Your clothes?" he asked.

She blinked again then laughed, despite herself and previous feelings. It was pretty funny, and a touch embarrassing. "Right. Forgot about those." She turned and he caught her wrist with a gentle grip.

"Just as well, you've got a bruise on your back. I can put something on it if you'd like."

She hesitated then nodded. "Alright."

He let go and walked away, back into the office where he kept his small supply of various potions. She wandered over to the bed and sat down, shivering a little from the slight draft.

She felt better when he closed the door upon his return and she turned her back to him and smiled over her shoulder. "Thanks for this… And everything else."

"Of course." He replied, pouring some of the potion into his palm. He sat behind her and rubbed it into her skin over and around the bruise, watching as it disappeared into nothing. He searched her quickly for any others and found her clear. Good.

She stretched when he leaned away from her and looked down into her lap. She didn't hurt any more but she was tired.

"Now I just need that nap" she muttered. "Would you… would you mind if I stayed here?"

That would hardly be appropriate but he figured they were past the realm of propriety.

"If you would like" he nodded and was a touch surprised when she crawled up to the top of the bed immediately after and stretched out. She sighed when she buried her face in the pillows and he watched her, eyes trailing up that small brown body slowly. The expanse of chocolate skin was only interrupted by the white of her cotton underwear and he could hardly believe he was seeing this much of her, could hardly believe how comfortable she was this exposed.

He rested a gentle hand on her ankle, wanting to touch her, comfort her maybe, and she giggled. She rolled onto her back and sat up, looking at him.

"Do you remember when I fell asleep on your couch during the summer?"

It was an odd question but he nodded.

"I asked you to nap with me when I woke up that first time but you said no… Will you now?"

"I shouldn't" he told her and she pouted. He rolled his eyes and walked around to the other side of the bed, removing his robes and over shirt as he did so. She felt an inkling of hope when he sat on the edge of the bed and toed off his shoes before crawling in beside her.

Even if he shouldn't, it seemed he would and she smiled.

"I could use some rest as well."

She smiled at him and rolled onto her side so that she could snuggle against him. He wrapped an arm around her in response and they settle atop the sheets.

It was nice, very nice she decided and wished they could stay this way forever. He was warm and solid and he smelled nice. She liked this, she loved this… "I love you" she whispered.

He sat up. "No."

"What?" she blinked.

"No. Don't say that."

"Why not?" she sat up too.

"Just don't."

"But it's true."

"No-"

"Even if it's not how you feel, I still-"

He leaned down and kissed her, silencing her words.

"No" he whispered when he pulled away, eyes closed to hide the obvious pain in them and the fear that was coursing through his body. "You shouldn't. You can't…"

"I do." And she smiled again, sent him a soft smile full of love and adoration, one he could not discredit. He couldn't discredit it but he couldn't accept it either. Bad things happened to the people he loved and to people who loved him. He knew he loved her, knew it at the bottom of his heart, but to admit it, to accept it out loud would be to lose his last defense and hers as well. They would be targets for tragedy.

"Lauren, please…" and he didn't know what to say past that, didn't get to say any more since she leaned up and kissed him.

"I love you" she spoke again, giving him a shy and watery smile.

His chest felt tight, he couldn't speak, but he kissed her again and she wrapped her arms around him. They fell back onto the bed and he lay over her, his body massive in comparison.

She felt so safe under him.

He was the one that broke the kiss, looked down at her with an expression she couldn't quite place.

He brought up a hand and stoked the side of her face gently, rested his forehead against hers.

"May I show you?" he asked in a constricted voice.

She smiled. "Yes, please."

If he couldn't tell her he loved her he could at least show her.

Right, so, there it is~ Hope you all liked it. This was probably one of the most serious chapters I ever wrote and I still had fun with it so I think that's a good sign.

I'm actually not with a constant source of internet so I won't be able to write a long A/N like I thought. I'll probably come through and edit it later but till then just thought I'd let you know I might be going through and adding just a few edits to the story. It's just a maybe though and if I actually do it I'll tell you all. =3

Also, open ending is open. XD

Got questions, comments, or advice? Go on and send a review my way! If not, thanks for reading and have a good day/night/other!