A/N Hey its xSweetFireStarsx here. Sorry for the mini hiatus

but I've been on a serious writer's block lately. But anyway,

cutting to the chase, since I'm not really into the vibe of this

story anymore I thought I should just end it sooner than I had

planned originally. I've been thinking of starting a new story

anyway, it'll be coming out hopefully at the beginning of

summer; I'll be giving more details on it in my updates. On to

this story, this chapter is going to be surrounding mostly

around Kim. Kind of.

Kim's P.O.V.

The feeling of his lips spreading across my forehead into what I know was

his smile, made me want to press closer to him, enclosing the hug even

more. His arms constricted around me getting tighter, but never enough to

crush me.

Then it hit me again, this sudden urge to kiss him.

No I can't. I won't dare let myself go through that again. I forced myself

to pull away from his warm, intoxicating hug and even more away from his

words.

He called me beautiful.

Thinking this made me never want to leave, but the sad was that I knew I

had to. I pushed away softly but with enough force that showed him that our

moment was done and hopefully over. Pulling away I got a glimpse of his

eyes and they already looking lost and hurt, much like a puppy whose owner

had been taken away.

Don't even try to fight it Kim, you know you can't dare to see him like this.

I lifted my hand up to his face hesitated then rested it on his shoulder instead

of his face.

"Hey," I spoke quietly "don't give me that face, I'm still Kimmy."

I gulped before my next sentence. "Your Kimmy… for this day alone."

I knew I shouldn't, but God, I was so confused. John was my world, but

here with Jack filled the spaces I looked for with John. I sighed and dropped

my hand, turned to the dressing room before he was able to see that

something was bothering me, but this wasn't before I saw his smile.

His sweet, illuminating smile. I smiled warily. His smiled showed that he

was still my whole world also. In the safety of the dressing room, door

closed, I finally let my frustration show through. I sank down to the floor, in

the same dress that seemed to fit me so perfectly and ran angry fingers

through my hair, the same golden hair that Jack thought was so beautiful. I

decided I shouldn't stay like this for long, or Jack would start to worry. I

sighed. Then there was John to think about, he would also start to worry

about my whereabouts and if I was out with Jack.

I got up, quickly changed and walked outside to find Jack once again sitting

on the bright, pink couch. I took a deep breath and forced back a smile.

"Ready to go?" I asked as he looked up at me, it was then that I figured out I

didn't have to force a smile at all when I'm with him.

He nodded. We purchased the dress rather quickly and headed out of the

mall and to the park. Since I was the one following Jack, I would've asked

why we were going in the direction of the park, but since I didn't have

anywhere else to be at the moment, I figured I should go and spend this time

with Jack, even though I knew the consequence for said choice. When we

found a tree with enough shade, we both sat down in the grass and sighed,

both tired out from the day's events.

After a while of boring, suffocating, silence, Jack finally spoke up.

"Want to play Q&A?" I shrugged, it was a game we used to always play

when we first became friends to find out more about each other or used

when conversation became dry and boring, much like today.

"Sure." I said lying down to get comfortable. He nodded.

"Okay, you go first." I nodded trying to think of a good question.

"What is your most embarrassing moment?" Jack puffed out a breath.

"Okay well, it was in 2nd grade, when I was back in New York, and my

friend glued a pop-stick into my hair, right at the top and then the girls in my

class called me Alfalfa for the rest of the year." He finished off with his face

in a bright red color. I couldn't keep myself from laughing and ofcourse he

noticed.

"Okay, you think it's so funny? Tell me your most embarrassing moment."

Jack said, holding back giggles himself.

"Okay, okay," I said calming down. "mine would have to be back in 5th

grade when I was getting dressed for dance class and I had walked out of the

dressing room without my pants because I was in such a hurry, I forgot to

put them on, and of course everyone was there to see it." I said ending with

him in a pit of laughs, remembering that day clearly, back in 5th grade

showed me how care-free my life used to be. Once the laughs were over it

grew quiet once again. I noticed that my head had somehow ended up on

Jack's lap and my hand was holding his. I suddenly was filled with joy,

excitement, nervousness, but mostly when the thought of John came into my

mind, it made me anxious. I was about to protest when Jack started to

absent-mind to play with my hair and ask his question.

"Kim, you don't mind that we're sitting like this, do you?" He asked softly

as if making any noise would remove us from our current position. I thought

about his question and it only made me more confused and torn.

"Be honest." He soon added. I then looked at his face and then looked away.

I sighed, knowing I could never lie to him.

Well at least not the way I lie to John.

I shook my head.

"No, it doesn't bother me…at all." Jack was quiet from my answer, probably

smiling. Or maybe he was waiting for me to ask my question, since it was

my turn. But soon he was asking another, clearly seeing that I didn't have

any more of my own.

"What does it do to you then? How does it make you feel?" I looked up at

the sky for this answer. I wondered how exactly I could put it, the way us

being like this made me feel.

"It makes me feel…" I stopped looking for words. "perfect." He smirked a

bit.

"Perfect? Isnt that a bit over rated?"

"Not for you, it's not." This came out from my mouth a little too quietly. I

never even intended to say it, and by the look of Jack's face, he never

intended on hearing it. I quickly sat up, untangling my hand from Jack's

own. I turned my back to him because there was the urge again, the urge to

show my true feelings towards him.

A little breeze picked up and it blew my hair but I didn't bother to wipe it

away from my face.

"Why is it so hard for us to be normal friends?" I asked him softly. I felt him

shrug against me.

"I don't know… maybe it's because we both know we have feelings for each

other." And there it was, it was out there. Jack suspected that we were the

same, of course I felt that way about him but I couldn't. I can't. I wanted to

argue and say I didn't like old times but it was no used.

Jack exhaled loudly.

"Look," I started, still not turned to him. "I know John and I are

complicated, and things don't seem to make sense. But I just can't explain. I

think I knew all along that we were wrong, but he was just so… so… John."

I turned to face him now. "Jack, I admit that I do like John, but I like you

too." I said slowly and more quiet. "I just can't stand being in the middle of

things. I just can't Jack, and it makes me so angry. I feel terrible for being

such a terrible friend, I hate how I've changed, and there's nothing I can say

to make you feel ok or to make everything go back to the way it was." Jack

just looked at me, then down at the floor.

"I don't want to make things more complicated than it already is, and I don't

want to have you even more confused or torn." He looked away toward

where the slight breeze was coming from and now I had to strain to hear

him. "But answer this, if you had the chance to kiss me again, would you?"

my mouth hung open, and here I was even more torn, but this one time I

wasn't confused. He turned to me, and I nodded.

"But I cant." I said softly, I wondered if he detected the sadness in my voice.

He looked down again at the grass, a little smile pulled at his lips then it

faded.

"I know Kimmy, I know."

… The heart wants what heart wants.