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Olivia awoke to the smell of bacon and eggs and freshly brewed coffee. Padding down the hallway she found Alex in the kitchen. She took a moment to look at the younger woman and the sight made her smile. She had her hair pulled into a ponytail, glasses on and flour was sprinkled on the lens. She was wearing a tank top and boxers and Olivia could tell she wasn't wearing a bra.

"Good morning."

Alex jumped. "Liv! God you scared me!" Grabbing two plates she handed one to Olivia and filled it full of food. "Eat."

They sat at the kitchen table, munching of bacon and eggs and avoiding eye contact.

"Alex, thank you."

"For?"

"Dinner the other night. Nobody's ever cooked for me before."

Alex stopped mid chew and raised an eyebrow. "Kurt doesn't cook?"

"No. Kurt didn't do a lot of things and some of the things he did do…"

Alex waited on her to finish and when she didn't she tried to prompt her. "He…."

Olivia shook her head. "Doesn't matter what Kurt does or doesn't do; he's not a part of my life and he won't be a part of our lives." She took another drink of bad coffee and scowled. "You said something about protecting me from Kurt in the future. What are you talking about?"

"Let's finish breakfast and then we'll go into the living room and talk."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"As an attorney and your…'friend' I am advising you to get him to sign away all his parental rights now while he's not into being a father." She chose her next words carefully. "Financially can you make it without his money?"

Olivia thought about her financial situation and sighed. "It would be tight until the baby got older, but I could swing it. His money would make it easier though, and you know Alex, he is partially responsible for this. I certainly didn't rape him!"

Alex considered what she'd just learned. "Ok. You need an attorney." She tapped her upper lip deep in thought. "Casey. She's working in child law. We'll call her first thing Monday." Olivia nodded.

"Alex…"

"Liv…"

They grinned at each other and Alex motioned for Olivia to speak.

"Uhm, Alex I thought about this," she motioned between them "last night after I went to bed. I…I did some thinking." Swallowing hard she continued, "I…I like you Alex. I like you a lot. I have liked you for a very long time if I'm honest with myself. I just don't do relationships very well, but I'm…open to whatever might happen between us."

Alex let out a long breath and took Olivia's hand. "I'm sorry Olivia but I'm not. I don't chase straight girls and I'm not into conversions. "

"Huh?"

"Olivia, you're first priority now is that baby. What happens if we get involved and I fall even harder for you and you decide this isn't for you? That you want to go back to walking the snake? I get hurt and now there will be a baby involved. I won't risk it Olivia."

"That's not fair Alex. You're blaming me for something that hasn't happened yet, that may not happen."

"Olivia, you freaked out when I kissed you! What the hell is going to happen when I go down on you and you come harder than you've ever come before, because you will, and you bolt? How do you think that's going to make me feel?"

Olivia was blushing furiously. "Would you rather I go out and find some other woman and let her fuck me so I can get that out of the way and then come to your bed?" Alex looked shocked and Olivia continued. "Everybody has to have a first Alex. What if those women you hooked up with had felt the way you do? What if they hadn't wanted to get involved with someone who had no lesbian experience?"

"Quick fucks in bar bathrooms or seedy hotels hardly constitute a relationship Olivia and I refuse to do that with you." She looked away. "You mean too much."

"So what does that mean?"

"It means Olivia, that I want a real relationship with you. I want a wife and a family and…and a civil union and whatever else there is and you're no where ready for that." She shrugged, let out a long breath and blurted out, "So in the absence of your ability to commit, I can't pursue a romantic relationship with you. I won't. All I can offer you is my friendship Olivia."

"I'm sorry you feel that way Alex. And I'm sorry that I'm not worth the effort."

She got up and hurried out of Alex's apartment.

XXXXXXXXXX

2 Months Later

Alex Cabot had been perfectly miserable since the day Olivia Benson left her apartment. She had stubbornly refused to call the brunette for a month and then when she finally did call her under the guise of seeing if she'd ever contacted Casey, Olivia had been polite but distant. She had also refused to return any of Alex's calls or emails.

She was determined to see the other woman and to talk to her.

"Elliot, where's Olivia?"

"Hello to you to Alex. She's having lunch with Casey. Why, you need her for something?"

"Actually, yes I do. Do you know when…." She stopped speaking as she saw the two women walk through the doors of the squad room. "Olivia." She glanced at Casey and noticed the other woman had her hand at the small of Olivia's back. "Casey." Not liking the possessive smile Casey gave her she asked, "How are things between you and Serena?"

Alex Cabot had just outed Casey Novak in front of her old squad and she was not happy. Alex was also aware that several sets of eyes were now on them and she could see Munch looking like the cat that ate the canary.

"You know very well how things are between us. Olivia, I'll call you later and give you an update."

"Detective Benson, I need a moment of your time. Please."

Alex followed her into the interrogation room. "What's going on between you and Casey?"

"None of your business. You and I are just 'friends' remember?"

Alex wanted to ask if she was fucking her, but instead she chose to soften her approach. "You're right Liv, it's not. Why haven't you returned my calls?"

"You wanted me to admit how I felt about you Alex and I did; then you told me that wasn't good enough. I laid it all on the line that morning and you just….you just rejected me. Us." She waved a hand over her stomach.

Alex shook her head. "I didn't reject you Olivia." She smiled as she reached out a hand and touched Olivia's midsection. "How are you two doing? Casey getting you what you need?"

Olivia moved out of Alex's grasp. "We're fine and yeah, she is. At least I think she is. Kurt's not wanting to sign away all of his rights and still have to pay support, so we'll see."

"Do you want to go to dinner tonight?"

"I…I can't. The guys are helping me move this weekend."

"Move?"

"Yeah. Like an idiot I agreed to move in with Kurt and gave notice on my apartment during that week and a half we got back together. I tried to get my super to reconsider but I moved into that place for a song and he was more than happy to have me leave. He's asking three times my rent. Said I could re-sign a lease at the new rate. I can't afford that. Not with a baby on the way."

"So where are you moving to?"

"Elliot and Kathy are letting me stay with them until I can find a place."

"Don't they have a new baby?" Olivia nodded. "Olivia, how do you expect to get the rest you need in a house full of people, including a tiny baby?"

"I don't have many options Alex. Simon offered to let me stay with him and his fiance and child, but that's all the way out in the boonies. I really need to get back to work, ok?"

XXXXXXXXXX

"You really have nobody to blame…."

"Put a sock in it Southerlyn. I am well aware of my actions and their results." She took a sip of her drink. "By the way, when are you going to tell me exactly what happened between you and the red head? She was looking a little too cozy with Olivia Friday."

Serena's face immediately closed up and she shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it." Alex raised an eyebrow in challenge. "We…hooked up and then I ignored her calls."

"Sex that bad?"

Serena's face flamed. "Actually, the sex was that good."
Alex chomped on an ice cube and looked at her friend. "Then what the hell was the problem?"

"It was just too…intense for me."

Alex looked out over the dance floor and bristled as she saw a flash of red closely tangled with brown. She leaned forward and cursed.

"Oh hell no."

Serena, following her eyes, sat upright and scowled. She watched as Alex tore across the dance floor and approached the two figures who ended up being Casey and Olivia.

"Excuse me, may I cut in?"

Olivia's face registered surprise and Casey's face had a hard edge to it.

"No, you may not. I'm dancing with my date."

Alex stepped between them and turned to face Casey. "Look carrot top Serena is sitting right over there and I suggest you go talk to her." Alex leaned into her personal space. "It seems you rocked her world when you fucked her and it scared her." Casey's face registered surprise and then satisfaction. Alex leaned in even further and whispered, "And you won't be giving a repeat performance here, got it?"

Casey glanced over Alex's shoulder, smiled and then said, "What makes you so sure I haven't already?" And with that she waved to Liv and went in search of Serena.

Alex composed herself before she turned back to Olivia and took her in her arms for a slow dance.

"Thought you were moving this weekend?"

"We finished early and Casey asked me if I wanted to go dancing."

Alex faltered a bit. "Casey helped you move?" Olivia nodded. "I could have helped you."

"Don't Alex. Please don't confuse me further." Alex seemed to consider this and then nodded.

They danced a few dances and Alex noticed that Olivia was yawning. She glanced over to where Serena was and saw that she was currently sucking face with Casey Novak.

"Liv? Why don't we go back to my place?" Olivia's eyes flew open and she looked terrified. Alex laughed. "To sleep Olivia, not sleep together. You're asleep on your feet and your…date or whatever she is, is otherwise engaged."

Olivia followed her gaze and shrugged. "Ok. But I need to call and let Elliot know I won't be home."

Alex smiled in relief. Olivia had not had a reaction to the sight of Casey and Serena doing throat cultures on each other. She took that to mean Casey's remark was just a taunt.

XXXXXXXXX

Olivia was practically asleep as Alex guided her through her apartment and to the spare bedroom. She helped the brunette out of her pants and left her t-shirt on. She debated helping her take her bra off, but decided that could be disastrous.

Olivia was asleep almost immediately and Alex spent a few minutes watching her sleep. She thought about Olivia and her baby and her own life. By the time she'd gone to sleep she had come to another decision. One she hoped was the right one.