For the first time in months Nala felt drawn back to a special place on the western ridge. Wedged between two boulders, there laid a hollow tree trunk she and Simba used as a slide on dewy mornings when the inside was slippery. Now even if she managed to wedge her shoulders inside she would only become stuck, yet as she walked toward Pride Rock at sunset and gazed at the acacia trees the memory of those happy mornings called her to return. She felt safe here, though it was cold and inhospitable at this hour. Slipping underneath the log she settled down on the cool earth and dropped a smooth stone into her paws. She licked its pure white surface and angled it to catch the light of the moon. Everything was beautiful, but Nala felt only despair. If this rock is supposed to bring joy and good luck why do I still feel so hopeless?
She covered the smooth stone with her paws and looked at the stars. Only one lion could save her now. Nala never spoke to the Great Kings of the Past before. Sometimes she wondered if they were even real. But it couldn't hurt to try. She licked her lips. Her voice caught in her throat, quiet and timid like a field mouse. "Are you up there, grandfather? It's your granddaughter, Nala. We've never met before. If you're up there, I really need your help. A long time ago my mom made you a promise, that I would become queen. The thing is, I don't want to be queen. I don't want to get married. If you could somehow change my fate…"
Her voice trailed off quietly. Staring at the stars, searching for some sign, she began to feel very, very stupid.
"You're facing the wrong direction. Zimwi's star is to the east, remember?"
Nala looked behind her and saw her mother coming toward her at a relaxed pace. Her ears tilted back. Having purposefully avoided her mother since this morning, she expected her to be angry. Sarafina stopped beside her. Nala fidgeted with her smooth stone and sighed heavily. "Okay, game over, you got me."
"You're not in trouble, Nala." An unexpected silence filled the void between them. Looking at her mother, Nala saw her eyes shining with regret. "Come with me, please. There's something I need to explain to you."
Nala rose hesitatingly. At the last moment she remembered her smooth stone and picked it up in her mouth, afraid she might lose it like the others if she left it behind. They went to the ledge of Pride Rock and sat down facing the east. Nala cradled the smooth stone between her paws so it wouldn't fall and followed her mother's gaze into the heavens. Shining brightly before them high above a vast flat plane, Zimwi's star twinkled, a blue beacon in the darkness.
She glanced at her mother and their eyes met at the same time. Something in her mother's expression told her she knew about her listening in on them when she wasn't supposed to, but where she expected admonishment she found sorrow and pain. She looked away, uncertain. Her mother softly cleared her voice. "A long time ago, my father sent me to the Pridelands to marry a prince I'd never met called Mufasa. He and I hit it off about as well as a mongoose and a cobra, but his best friend, Sarabi, made this strange land my home. She was of low birth, an orphan from the Roguelands, and despite being taken in by royalty she was kinder and more humble than any lioness I'd ever met. And, though she was too shy to say it, she was deeply in love with Mufasa. She may not have been born here, but as soon as I saw her I knew that Pride Rock belonged to her long before my father tried to give it to me. I gave up my right to the throne so Mufasa and Sarabi could be together. So, to keep the bond between our prides strong, my father made me promise that my first born cub would marry the Prideland's next heir." She lowered her eyes. "I didn't realize what I was promising. Sarabi and I did everything we could to help you and Simba become friends. As we watched your friendship blossom our hearts filled with joy. I hoped you would grow to truly love each other…"
Nala listened in silence. Now that she knew the truth she could no longer blame her mother for betraying her trust. "We always planned to tell you this story on your wedding day." Sarafina smiled sadly, her voice lowering to a whisper. "But of course that day will never come. And because of my promise, you are now betrothed to a newborn. I'm so sorry, Nala."
Strange to think that they had heard the tale of Ahadi and the Marshland Pride since cubhood without ever realizing its significance. Without intending to she imagined herself standing side by side with Simba, right here on the ledge of Pride Rock as Rafiki adorned their heads with flower necklaces and Zazu led a flock of songbirds singing and swooping overhead in celebration, and felt suddenly embarrassed. "Isn't there anything you can do?"
Sarafina shook her head. "My brother still expects me to uphold my promise. Sarabi already sent Zazu to ask Baako to relieve me of my burden, but when he returned at sunset the answer was no." She murmured inwardly, "Still, it was kind of her to try."
Nala worried this morning's talk put a strain on her mother's friendship with Sarabi. Sarafina seemed to have forgiven her, but it must have been hard. At the moment she felt more concerned with her own future. "I tried talking to grandfather but I don't think he heard me."
"It couldn't hurt to try again." She felt her mother's gentle paw between her shoulder blades. "Bow your head. Dear father, hear our prayer. Please free my daughter from her burden. If it is her fate to marry Prince Kivuli then please watch over him, help him grow into a strong and loving husband deserving of my daughter's paw and help Nala to love him as well. And please give us strength."
Nala opened her eyes. A faint breeze tickled her nose hairs. The night sky stretched out before her in its great vastness, leaving her small and lost, not knowing whether the lights she saw were the watchful eyes of her ancestors or mere points of light in a black abyss of indifference.
"Sometimes it's hard to know if they're listening," Sarafina murmured after a time, sharing Nala's thoughts.
Nala studied the heavens. "Is Simba up there?"
Her mother frowned. "My mother told me that young souls fade and return to the earth to be born again in a new body. Only the great kings join the stars."
She blinked, astonished. "So you're saying Simba is still alive out there somewhere?"
"No, just his spirit. He wouldn't remember us. All creatures are born and die countless times, until they prove themselves worthy to enter heaven. That's why we must treat all living creatures with respect."
Nala shivered at the thought that her best friend might now be in the body of an antelope. "I don't like the sound of that," she said, trying to smile at the absurdity of it though the concept seemed completely morbid. "Queens can join the stars too, right?"
Sarafina nodded.
"I guess that's one good thing about being a queen. Hey, doesn't that mean you gave up immortality for your best friend?"
She chuckled. "I never thought of it that way before. Some things are more important than worrying about the afterlife. No one really knows what happens after we die, all we have are old stories, but I believe that if we do our best we'll be rewarded one way or another, so even when life seems bleak we've got to be brave and follow our hearts with all our strength and fury. That's what I've always done. Even though I may not agree with her, Sarabi has grown into a better queen than I ever could be." Sarafina grew quiet. "You can't change the past, Nala, but you can make yourself a better future. Only you can decide how to face your destiny. Do you understand?"
"What can I do?" Nala tried to extract some unknown meaning from her mother's eyes. All her life she had lived under the paws of lions stronger and wiser than herself and yet, all her life, she longed to crawl out from under their shadows and bask in the light of the real world. Now her mother was giving her permission do just that. For the first time ever, for only a few seconds, she found herself standing all alone on her own four legs, as fragile as the smooth stone cradled in her paws inches from the precipice of Pride Rock, and in spite of everything she thought she knew about herself she wished her mother would tell her what to do. She wanted to take an order. She wanted everything to be simple. It stung.
Sarafina gently nuzzled her shoulder, purring. "What you choose. This is your life now. I know you're make the right decision."
What I want…
What do I want?
Am I as free as she says I am?
She was too afraid to answer. Long after her mother returned to the communal den, Nala remained on the ledge of Pride Rock with her smooth stone cradled between her paws like a newborn cub, looking up to the stars and trying to decide what to do with the path of life stretched out before her. Staying at Pride Rock meant marrying Kivuli and becoming his queen. Although she looked up to Sarabi she never envied her position. While their king represented brute strength, justice and leadership, to her the things Sarabi represented were rarer: quiet strength, compassion and hope, the latter being the rarest of them all. Nala was a logical thinker. She doubted she could live up to Sarabi's standard.
Running away from it all crossed her mind more than once. Roho would be with her, maybe her mother too, though she flinched at the thought of tearing her mother away from Sarabi for her own selfish sake. As for herself she would miss her friends, even Chumvi, the Night of Tales, the ever changing shadows of Pride Rock. Wezi needed her here, too. Her absence would give Eupe one less reason to keep her daughter at Pride Rock. But that wasn't all. The landscape reminded her of Simba. Would she forget his face if she ran away?
Scratch that one off the list.
But what else could she do? Accept her fate? What would Kivuli be like when he grew up? Would he resemble Scar? She could never imagine herself with someone like that (with anyone at all, if she was honest). She imagined she would be as incompatible with him as her mother with Mufasa. Then it hit her. What if Kivuli fell in love with someone else?
Regardless of what she did, Kivuli would be king. His word would be law. His word could set her free! If anyone remained to save her from her fate it had to be that little furball. Oh, it was a cunning scheme alright, her best plan yet! She would have to get close to him, get to know him well so she could find the perfect lioness for him and make them fall in love. Then Kivuli would have to call off the wedding. Getting close to him would be no problem; Scar and Sarabi would expect her to spend time with him. Maybe Moto would be a good match - she might make a good queen. Or maybe Neema or her sister Zuia, they were the youngest after all. Well come to think of it she would have a few years. New cubs would be born closer to Kivuli's age. Anything could happen.
...
"What does the future hold for my pride, Old Friend?"
"Trouble and nothing but. Strangers will walk among us with their deceptions. There will be famine and wars. The first war will be with innocents and the second will be with ourselves. It does not look good, Uru."
"Will we persevere?"
"I do not know. My vision is cloudy. I feel as though we have been blown off course somehow."
"Must you always speak in riddles..."
"I am only a messenger."
"Sometimes I wonder about my son. Have I made a mistake, Rafiki? Will Taka lead us wisely as I hoped?"
"Hmm. He has ambition. But what will he do with it? That is the question."
"May I ask one more? Will I live long enough to see peace?"
The wind blows.
"No. But you will be remembered and loved, especially by an old baboon."
"Thank you, Rafiki. I must return to Pride Rock."
END OF PART I
AN: Decided to post this a little early since it's done. Expect Part II: Teeth and Ambitions up sometime around the 20th of December. To those of you who voted in the poll I've decided to keep all three parts together in one story. I know Part I was a bit slow, that was intentional so that I could introduce my cast and build up characters who didn't get much attention in the movies/books (ie Sarafina, Sarabi and Uru). It's all going to pay off big time.
Thanks for reading! Please post a review if you're enjoying my story. Or even if you're not. :)