This story has 22 chapters. Just FYI...
They were sitting in the waiting room of the OB 's office when Alex noticed Olivia was fidgeting.
"Liv?"
"Hmm?"
"Why are you so nervous?"
She put down the years old magazine she'd been flipping through and looked at Alex. "Because I'm about to see my baby for the first time. After today it's all going to be real. I may even know the sex!"
Alex smiled at her and played with her hair. "Yes, I suppose it will." She cocked her head and studied the brunette. "I bet he or she looks like you."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because you're beautiful and this child will be too." She almost leaned in and kissed Olivia on the cheek but stopped, unsure if that show of affection would be welcomed in her OB 's office. "Have you considered any names?"
Olivia shrugged and smiled at Alex. "We'll see what happens after today."
They were finally called back and Alex gave Olivia as much privacy as possible while she changed into the ever present paper gown for the ultrasound. Alex was standing at the top of the exam table and Olivia reached out to take hold of her hand and pulled Alex closer.
The doctor found them that way as she entered the room and smiled at them.
"Alex! I was unaware you'd be joining us today, but I'm glad you could make it." She went about setting everything up. "Olivia, this is going to be cold."
She hissed as the doctor smeared the cold gel onto her belly.
"Alright ladies, are you ready to meet your baby? For this little guy or gal to meet their mommies?"
"I'm not…we're not…" Alex was trying to get the right words out when Olivia tugged on her hand.
Looking directly into Alex's eyes she told the doctor, "We're ready to meet our baby." She gave Alex's hand a squeeze. "If that's ok?"
Alex choked up, but managed to nod at Olivia.
"Ok then. Here we go." She moved the wand around on Olivia's belly and pointed out all the tiny parts of the baby. "Do you two want to know the sex?" Olivia nodded and then looked at Alex who agreed. After a few more passes over her belly, the doctor smiled and turned the monitor so they could more fully see the image. "Mom's, you are having a baby boy. Congratulations!" She started printing the picture out and then left the room so Olivia could dress.
"I'm having a boy. Wow."
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After they'd left the doctor's office, Alex suggested they play hooky for the rest of the day. After some cajoling, Olivia agreed and Alex insisted they go baby shopping.
Alex insisted on taking Olivia to get maternity clothes and smiled as the other woman cursed the lack of fashionable mom-to-be wear. They did manage to find one item amongst the maternity tops and leggings that both women agreed the dark haired detective needed; a leather maternity coat.
Alex gladly plopped down her credit card and shooed Olivia away in search of maternity lingerie. The older woman was determined to be wearing something at least remotely suitable for being plucked by Alex Cabot.
After finding various items for Olivia, Alex found a baby sleeper she just had to have. She also found a womb bear, a sterling silver piggy bank, and a baby book. Olivia just shook her head and pulled Alex in the direction of food.
After they'd ordered, Alex broached the subject of the baby and her role in it's life.
"Liv, what exactly did you mean at the doctor's office?"
Olivia smiled. "Exactly what I said."
Alex sighed. "Don't play games Olivia. I hope you know by now how I feel about you and while I'm hoping that you meant you wanted me to be a part of this, I just want to be sure. I meant what I said last night about not wanting to get attached and then have you decide I'm not welcome in this baby's life. I don't think I could bear that Olivia." She took the other woman's hand in her own. Taking a deep breath, she plunged right in, heart on her sleeve.
"I look at you and I want you. All of you. Not just physically, though that is definitely a part of it. I want you emotionally and I want this baby. I want a family Olivia and I wan that with you. I want to come home to you and this little one and I want family holidays and school plays and hell, even the PTA." She looked away and looking back at the woman before her; she decided to take the biggest risk of her life. "Olivia Benson, I love you and I need to know if we are on the same page?"
"Damn hormones!" Olivia began swiping at the quickly falling tears on her face. "Damn you for being so…so…you!" She jumped up and started to leave. She'd taken a few steps when she realized Alex wasn't behind her and she looked back to see the devastated face of her almost lover. She held her hand out. "Alex, are you coming?"
The blonde jumped up and threw down more than enough to cover the bill and took Olivia's hand. "Where are we going?"
"Home."
The cab ride was eerily quiet and Alex was afraid Olivia had changed her mind and would be moving out within the hour. Olivia was worried that Alex had reached the end of her patience and wouldn't understand her reasons for anything.
Fearing the worst, Alex let Olivia into the apartment first and watched as the other woman turned to face her.
"We need to talk Alex."
Alex shut the door behind her and waited to see what Olivia would do. She didn't have to wait long as the older woman settled in on the couch. Alex joined her and waited for her to speak.
"Alex, I'm scared."
"Of us?" Olivia shook her head. "Of…me?"
"No! Not you; never you."
Alex raised an eyebrow. "Ok. Help me understand here Olivia."
Olivia began ringing her hands. "The…other."
"The other?" Olivia nodded. "What other? Kurt? Olivia, if you're afraid of him, don't be. We'll fight him every step of the way." She took Olivia's hand and rubbed the back of it with her thumb.
Frustrated, Olivia pulled away from Alex. "Not Kurt. That'll work itself out." She looked at Alex and then quickly away. "The OTHER! The…the…the sex part!"
Alex couldn't help herself; she let out a full fledged laugh. "Oh Olivia, is that all?"
Angry, the brunette got up and faced Alex. "It's not funny Alex Cabot! You have experience, I don't!" She hurried to her room and shut the door. Alex rolled here eyes as she heard the lock click.
She gave Olivia a good 20 minutes before she knocked on the door. "Will you please let me in?"
"No."
"Olivia, please?"
"No. I can't look at you right now."
"We can turn the lights off."
Olivia thought about what she'd said and then rejected it. "It's still daylight outside."
Exasperated, Alex snapped at her, "Then pull the curtains!" She smiled as she heard movement in the room and the distinct sound of the curtains being drawn. She heard the lock click and hurried movement from the door. "I'm coming in, ok?"
Not getting a response, she moves into the now darkened room and she sees Olivia curled on the bed, her back to the door. She crosses the room and climbs on the bed. She settled in behind Olivia and wraped her and her child-their? - child, in her arms.
"Talk to me baby. Please." She tightened her hold on Olivia, anchoring her in this moment.
"I don't have any experience."
Alex kissed the back of her head. "Neither did I."
"Yeah, but you got to practice before the real thing. I mean, if you consider me your real thing?"
Alex moved her hand to Olivia's swell and began to make circular motions. "You are most definitely my real thing."
"Were you…nervous the first time?"
Alex considered what Olivia said and thought back to her first lesbian experience. "Yes, I guess I was. I'd never entertained the notion of going to bed with a woman before you and then when I found a dark haired, athletic looking woman, I could only think of you. She was fairly patient with me. It wasn't the greatest sex I'd ever had, but it opened up a whole New World of possibilities to me. Our fling was short lived and it was a while before I pursued another lesbian encounter." She linked her fingers with Olivia's. "I felt like I'd cheated on you."
"Really?" She felt Alex nod against her. "What's it like? The taste?"
"Each woman has her own taste; some are tangy, some are musky and some are…unpleasant." She regretted what she'd said as she felt Olivia tense against her. "I'm quite certain your taste will be divine Olivia."
"I hope." She pulled their linked hands to her lips and kissed them. "How many Alex?"
"Women?" Olivia nodded. "Four."
"So I'll only be competing against four? That's not so bad."
"You won't be competing against anybody Olivia. If anything, they were competing against you." When Olivia didn't respond Alex nudged her. "Hey…what's this really about?"
"Nothing."
"Bull."
"Were they pretty? Did they have nice bodies?"
"Yes. But they weren't you. They couldn't hold a light to you Olivia." She felt Olivia shrink away from her. "Liv?"
Olivia finally turned over and faced Alex. She bowed her head and in a tiny voice she said, "I'm pregnant and my body doesn't look like my body anymore Alex. I'm afraid you won't like it." She swallowed hard and in an even smaller voice she said, "Kurt didn't."
Alex tilted her head up. "He didn't what? Like your body?"
Olivia shrugged. "He pointed out a few things that could look better. I didn't pay much attention because I knew he wasn't the one. But with you…it matters. What you think matters." She looked at Alex again. "What if I don't do it right?"
"Alex smiled at her. "Oh baby. We have the rest of our lives to 'get it right' and for the record, I love the way your body is changing. You're softer, more round." She cupped one of Olivia's breasts. "Your breasts have gotten a bit bigger and I hope they get even bigger. I think you look sexy." To emphasize her point she kissed Olivia. They kissed for a while before Olivia pulled away.
"I need to go slow Alex, ok?" The blonde nodded.
She eased off the bed. "Liv, I need to run by my office and get some files, ok? I'll bring dinner back for us, ok?"
"Ok." She watched the blonde head for the door. "Hey Alex?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you too." Alex smiled at her.
She heard Alex leave the apartment and she lay their contemplating what they had just experienced. She smiled at the love she'd felt from Alex and mentally compared it to all the men in her past who had claimed to love her. And then she began to start thinking about Alex in a sexual way.
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Alex tore into the 16th precinct looking for Elliot Stabler. She found him by the coffee station.
"Stabler! I need to see you. Now."
He raised an eyebrow at her and her tone, but sensed that it must involve Olivia for her to come barreling into the squad room. He followed her into the interrogation room.
"Is Liv ok?"
She considered her answer. "Not really." She held up her hand. "Physically she's fine, but that asshole Moss fucked with her head."
Elliot bristled at the mention of the other man's name. "What's that spineless fuck done now?"
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Alex smiled as she walked through the door to the apartment carrying two bags of Chinese. She may not think Elliot Stabler hung the moon, but at least he had his partner's back.
She got the food ready and went to Olivia's door, which was once again shut. She thought she heard moaning coming from the room. Alarmed, she threw the door open and gasped at the sight before her.
Olivia had her pants around her knees and a dildo in her hand. She was having a hard time inserting the toy in and out of herself due to her awkward size. She stopped and immediately tried to pull her pants up, but Alex crossed the room and stopped her.
She sat on the side of the bed, took the dildo and looking into Olivia's eyes, she began moving it in and out of the brunette. Olivia tried to speak, but Alex shook her head. She leaned over the brunette and picked up her tempo. Olivia began to squirm and her hips began to thrust to Alex's rhythm.
She could feel her belly begin to tighten and she let out a long, low groan as her orgasm washed over her. Alex slowed her movements and brought Olivia down slowly. She smiled at the brunette and removed the dildo from her. Never breaking eye contact, she brought it to her mouth and licked it clean before placing it on the nightstand.
She stood and looked down at Olivia. Leaning over, she helped her pull her pants back up.
"Dinner's ready."