Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Glee; it all belongs to 20th Century Fox, Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk, et al. I write these stories purely for enjoyment; no copyright infringement is intended. The songs, of course, are not mine either, and all due credit goes to the wonderful writers and performers of those songs.
Author's Note: Many thanks, as always, to WickedforGood13 for the encouragement and beta reading. The third chapter of this may take me a bit longer, lovely readers, but I hope you all enjoy this.
Have a Little Faith – Chapter Two
They rode back to the Hudson-Hummel house in silence, except for the quiet, cheerful chirp of pop songs on the radio. They kept their hands entwined as much as possible, and when they pulled into the driveway, Blaine took his turn kissing Kurt's knuckles before they both got out and grabbed their bags. Blaine took the coffees and Kurt pulled out his keys.
"Dad's checking in at the shop; he can't break the habit," Kurt explained with a chuckle as he put his house key in the door and turned the lock. "Carole was meeting some friends this afternoon, so we have a little time. Dad expects us to be here and presentable for Friday night dinner, but before and after that I think we're free to do what we want. He and Carole miss you as well as me, you know."
Blaine looked touched. "I've missed them, too," he said sincerely. "I'm always amazed at how kind they are to me."
Kurt hummed in the back of his throat in affectionate exasperation. "I'd get used to it if I were you," he said with a little smile as he opened the door and walked inside. They took off their shoes and coats and dropped their bags in the living room, and as soon as they were unencumbered, Blaine proceeded to wrap himself back around Kurt and kiss him ardently.
"Mm, what's this for?" Kurt hummed happily against his lips, in between kisses.
"I missed you," Blaine breathed. "God, Kurt, I missed you – and the way you kissed me in the choir room before – what made you do that?"
Kurt rested his forehead against Blaine's. "Lots of things," he replied, stroking Blaine's cheek with his index finger. "The first and most important is that I could see how much you have been hurting, and I wanted to remind you how much I love you. I wanted you to know that I have faith in you and your strength, and I have faith in us."
Blaine chuckled inadvertently, though Kurt could see his eyes getting moist again. "Just like the song?"
Kurt smiled widely. "Just like the song, you adorable sentimentalist," he teased affectionately. "That's why I chose it."
"I know," Blaine said, solemn again, and Kurt kissed him briefly before continuing.
"Another reason is really the result of being away, I suppose," he said reflectively. "Being in New York gives me so much perspective. There are still some horrible people there, but most of the residents are so open, and they really embrace diversity. I want the world to know how much I love you, Blaine – and while that doesn't mean that we should walk hand-in-hand down the main streets of Lima, not if we want to be safe, it does mean that in front of our friends, in the choir room, we should be able to show affection. We were always so careful – and I just don't see the point in it any more. Every person in that room has kissed someone else in that room, in front of all of us, and you and I should be able to do the same."
"We should be able to," Blaine agreed. "It was amazing. You're amazing."
He leaned in to kiss Kurt again, and Kurt inhaled shakily against Blaine's mouth. He had missed Blaine, too, missed his smile and his lips and the feel of his body, and the heat that sparked under his skin every time they touched. More than any of that, he had missed the sharing of thoughts and the companionship of mind that existed between the two of them. How had he gone two months without this? How had he thought that Blaine, who had always been more tactile than he, wouldn't be starving for his touch as well as his company? They needed this. He should have come home sooner.
Without really knowing how it happened, Kurt found himself on his back on the couch, his hands sliding under Blaine's shirt and over his back, and Blaine's hands working at the buttons on his oxford shirt. They were both panting, and Kurt wanted nothing more than to pull Blaine to his bedroom and make love to him – but they had to talk. He had spent this entire week planning, and he wanted to understand what Blaine was thinking and feeling before anything else.
Blaine chose that moment to move his lips to the soft and sensitive spot under Kurt's jaw, and Kurt couldn't help a quiet moan as he placed his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders.
"Blaine," he said breathlessly. "Wait."
Blaine looked up, and Kurt could see the anxiousness in his eyes. He tried to assuage it by kissing Blaine again and resting their foreheads together. It took him a moment to find the words he needed.
"What's wrong?" Blaine asked falteringly, insecurity showing in every line of his face.
"Nothing's wrong," Kurt said swiftly. "I want to make love to you, so very much," he said, arching his hips into Blaine's just to emphasize his point, and making them both gasp with the sensation. "But – I thought maybe we should take advantage of the empty house to talk, this time? I know that means we'll have to be quiet later," he said with an apologetic smile.
Blaine sighed, resting his head on Kurt's collarbone. Kurt resisted the urge to run his fingers through Blaine's still-gelled hair and instead stroked the back of his neck.
"I love you," he whispered eventually. "I missed you. I'm worried about you. I want the chance to talk to you without my entire family around. Come to the kitchen with me?"
Blaine finally nodded, then lifted his head to look at Kurt. "I love you too," he answered. "Thank you for coming home. For being here."
"I'll always be here," Kurt promised. He sat up, and Blaine disentangled himself from Kurt, standing up from the couch and offering his hand so that Kurt had some leverage in order to get up. They both straightened their clothes, tucking in shirts and buttoning back up, then moved out to the kitchen still holding hands, having picked up their coffees from the coffee table.
"Coffee or tea?" Kurt asked, filling the kettle at the sink and pulling mugs and a coffee press from the cupboard.
"Make the tea," Blaine decided. "I'll reheat my Lima Bean coffee in the microwave and then have tea."
"I didn't intend for the coffee to get cold," Kurt said apologetically. "I didn't mean to crash glee rehearsal, either; I just wanted to be waiting for you. Although it worked out better than I could have hoped, really; I got to do everything I intended, including talking to certain former choirmates." He set the kettle on the stove and turned the burner on, leaning against the counter as he waited for it to heat.
Blaine blinked. "Oh," he said in realization. "While I was at my locker?" He took one of the mugs Kurt had put on the counter and transferred his coffee into it, then put it in the microwave.
"Absolutely," Kurt said firmly. "I think they'll have their priorities in order from now on."
Blaine snorted. "Let's hope. They certainly haven't had them together up to now."
"I could see that," Kurt said, his voice a little sharp with irritation at his friends. "I think they've gotten the message, though."
"I think everyone underestimated the extent to which the seniors from last year were holding the group together," Blaine said tiredly. "The group isn't nearly as cohesive this year." The microwave dinged, and Blaine pulled out his mug, sipping cautiously as he made sure it was hot enough.
Kurt reached out and ran his hand over Blaine's forearm in a comforting gesture. "It will get better. I think Britt and Artie, at least, will make sure of that now – and you'll help them make it better, too. You have more talent and leadership capability than anyone else in that room."
Blaine looked down, fiddling with the handle of his coffee mug. "You always believe in me," he said quietly.
"You should believe in you, too," Kurt reminded him, taking Blaine's hand. "Come here." Kurt pulled Blaine to the small table and two small chairs that had made the move from their kitchen at the old house. He sat down and Blaine did the same. Kurt reached over and clasped Blaine's hand in both his own.
"I've been thinking a lot this week," he started, "and I owe you an apology. Several of them, really."
Blaine's brow furrowed as he looked at Kurt. "What? No, you don't. Kurt, you're where you belong, doing something you love, even if it isn't your ultimate goal. You don't have to apologize for that. It's what I wanted for you; you're happy."
"And you're not, and that's why I'm apologizing," Kurt returned emphatically. "You tried to tell me multiple times last spring how hard this was going to be. You tried to get us to figure out how we were going to handle the long distance and the communication. You were smart enough to see that it was going to be difficult, and I refused to talk about it. I thought it would be easy, that we would go on more or less as we always have. It was naïve, and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you then. That's my first apology."
Blaine nodded. He couldn't really refute the truth of Kurt's words, and Kurt knew that he couldn't. It was one of the many things that had caused tension between them before his graduation, one of the big communication problems that had led to the whole Chandler debacle. Kurt still felt ashamed whenever he thought of that entire fight, and the ridiculous flattery that Chandler had bestowed on him, but it was only now that he was truly starting to see how much more had been hidden underneath Blaine's hurt and anger.
"Apology accepted – but I loved, even then, that you were so sure of us," Blaine said. He couldn't quite smile, but his eyes spoke for him.
Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand again and went on. "My second apology is for forgetting to be your boyfriend since I've been in New York. I have a very bad tendency to get tunnel vision when I'm pursuing an objective, and New York is big and exciting and easy to get caught up in. Plus, I won't deny that the work is exhausting. I love it, but it gets overwhelming. I haven't learned how to balance my life yet, but that's no excuse for failing to be there for you, or for making my life more important than yours. I didn't always realize I was doing that, but I have been, and it's not fair to you."
"You're trying to excel in a very demanding environment, Kurt; there's nothing wrong with that," Blaine argued.
"There is a lot wrong with making my boyfriend and the love of my life feel like he doesn't belong in my life or my heart anymore," Kurt averred, inadvertently tightening his grip around Blaine's fingers. "You let me put other priorities before you because that's who you are, because you always put my happiness before yours – but you need to stop doing that, Blaine."
Blaine sat up straight, then, and Kurt knew what the argument was going to be before Blaine even opened his lips. He was prepared for this.
"Kurt, that's what a relationship is about – making each other happy," Blaine exclaimed. "What kind of partner would I be if I had let you stay here, when I saw how miserable you were? When I saw how every single bit of you was crumbling inside having to stay in a place that has been nothing but cruel to you? It's my job to help you be happy."
"But not to your own detriment," Kurt said gently, rearranging their hands in order to entwine their fingers. "Not to the point where you aren't receiving anything in return. You just said it yourself – it's about making each other happy, not just making one of us happy. And I haven't been making you happy at all; I haven't been helping you be as happy as you can be, despite the fact that we're geographically apart. You have a right to tell me what you need, Blaine. You are my boyfriend and my lover; you have a right to that."
Blaine was trembling; Kurt could feel his fingers shaking in between his own.
"It's really hard for me to ask," Blaine said unsteadily. "I wasn't allowed to, for a long time – with Dad, with Cooper, what I wanted never mattered. It was always about what they wanted, who they wanted me to be. I wanted – I wanted them to love me, more than anything, and so making them happy became more important than anything else, even if it meant swallowing a lot of hurt. And then – and then I came out, and Sadie Hawkins happened, and Dad disappeared, and Cooper stayed long enough to make sure I was physically healed and then disappeared, too. Then I went to Dalton, and it was maybe the first time in my life that I felt completely like myself. I started singing with the Warblers even though I knew Dad would hate it, and I loved every minute of it. I had friends who really cared about me, and other gay friends who understood some of what I had gone through, and it felt like – home. But I didn't have to ask for help, a lot of the time – I was still so scared when I transferred, and Wes and David became my friends and were incredibly protective of me. They knew a lot of what I needed even before I did. I still felt invisible at home, except for when Mom was around, but the rest of life was better. "
"And then I met you," Blaine continued, "and you turned my world upside down."
Kurt exhaled, laughing. "My composed and dapper Warbler wasn't so composed on the inside?" he teased.
"Not nearly so composed," Blaine said with a self-deprecating grin. "Kurt, do you have any idea what it was like to have you in my life those first few months? The more I learned about you, the more I wanted to know. You weren't afraid to be frank with me or challenge me, but you never made me feel as though you were going to disappear the minute you found out something about me you didn't like. I did everything I could think of to help you; I wanted so much to be the friend that you needed – but you helped me too, more than you'll ever know. That first Valentine's Day – I meant every word I said to you that day. I had no idea what I was doing, and I was so afraid to screw up the best friendship I had ever had. I didn't want to lose you, even then. And you stayed. You stayed until I was sure of my own heart, until I knew with every fiber of my being that I wanted you and no one else."
Blaine's voice was wavering again, and Kurt could see the tears in his eyes that were threatening to fall. "But I'm still afraid you'll vanish, Kurt. I can't compete with New York, with Broadway, with Vogue. I don't want to ask for more than you give because I'm afraid it will just push you further away. And at McKinley, I feel like I'm vanishing – I had tried to forget how awful it could be, that feeling that everyone just looks right through you, and those who don't treat you as invisible choose to torment you. I thought I had found a place with the New Directions last year, when you and Rachel, Santana and Finn were all here – and this year it's like none of that ever happened, like I'm some strange interloper."
Kurt stood and rounded the table to Blaine's chair, his own tears sliding down his cheeks as he held Blaine against his chest and kissed the top of his head.
"First of all, you need to remember something," he whispered, tilting Blaine's chin up so their eyes were locked. "I fell in love with you. Not with some perfect version of you, but you, with all of your endearing qualities and difficult flaws. The more imperfections I find in you, Blaine Anderson, the more perfect you become, and that's been true from the moment I met you." Kurt's smile was watery as he remembered Blaine's speech from the previous Christmas. "You don't have to compete with anything. New York, Vogue, NYADA, Broadway – none of them will really be perfect until you are there to share them with me."
Blaine's tears did fall, then, and Kurt leaned down to kiss his forehead, his eyelids, and finally his lips.
"Second, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I made you feel like I was vanishing from your life," he said, pulling Blaine back against him. "I was so sure of you and us that I took our relationship for granted, but I won't let it happen again. We'll figure out ways to work on that, but I have no intention of disappearing, and I will make sure you know it from now on."
"Third, this is where my next apology comes in, I think," Kurt stated, letting Blaine go in order to pull his chair over beside his boyfriend's. He arranged it so that they were sitting as closely as possible, their legs pressed together and hands joined over their laps. "I'm not sure it was fair of me to ask you to come to McKinley last year. I was asking you to leave a place where you were happy and come to a school that is anything but kind to people who are perceived as different, or anyone who is talented in anything other than sports. I – last year was amazing for us in a lot of ways, and I wouldn't trade that year with you for anything, but I think I made you feel as though you had to choose between me and your friends, between me and the place that was home for you, and I shouldn't have done that. I should have thought more about how coming to McKinley would feel for you, and about what it would mean when I left and you were there alone."
"Kurt," Blaine protested. "It was my choice to come to McKinley. I could have said no, but I didn't. I wanted to be with you, and I wanted to face down some of my old fears. Dalton wouldn't have been the same anyway, not with Wes and David gone and Sebastian running the Warblers."
"Maybe," Kurt conceded. "Or maybe, if you had stayed, Sebastian would have never gotten so much as a toehold in the leadership of the Warblers, and you would have continued to lead the choir and enjoy your friends. I shouldn't have asked you to give all of that up without considering everything it would mean for you."
"Why are you bringing this up now?" Blaine questioned. "I appreciate the thoughtfulness behind it," he added, "but why now? I was at McKinley last year; I'm there this year; why does it matter?"
Kurt took a deep breath. "Because if being at Dalton would be better for you, then that's where you should be," he said determinedly. "I know it's been difficult being apart, but you said yourself that our long-distance relationship isn't the only thing making you unhappy, Blaine. The New Directions are an incoherent disaster of a group right now, they haven't made you feel welcome this year, and McKinley is a semi-hostile environment at the best of times. Even with all of the changes at Dalton and everything that's happened since you left, you know there would be a place for you in the Warblers. Nick, Jeff, and Trent are still there, and they've always cared about you. I just want you to consider the idea that McKinley is contributing to how you're feeling. I hate to see the spirit being crushed out of you this way; it scares me."
Kurt's voice broke, and he had to stop and swallow. Blaine pulled him even closer, so that they were practically in each other's laps, but neither of them moved away. "This is part of what I meant when I said that you need to start putting yourself first," Kurt said when he could speak again. "I'm not at McKinley anymore, and you aren't under any obligation to stay there – especially not when my former teammates are making you feel like a pariah," he finished, with a trace of bitterness. "I want you to do what makes you happy, Blaine, whatever that is, without reference to me or anyone else."
Blaine closed the few inches between them and kissed Kurt. "Thank you," he murmured. "I don't know that Dalton is the place for me anymore, but I didn't – it hadn't even occurred to me until you said it, but I'll think about it, all right?"
"That's all I ask," Kurt nodded, sighing in relief. "I want to see the light back in these eyes," he said almost inaudibly, cradling Blaine's cheek against his hand.
"Kurt, I'm okay. I needed this, needed us, but I'm okay," Blaine said softly, trying to reassure him, but Kurt would not be persuaded.
"You're not, and I'm an idiot for not seeing it," Kurt berated himself. "I know better, Blaine – or at least, I do now. Look, I'm – I'm going to ask this, even though I know you hate – I've never asked because I was pretty sure I had all the pieces anyway, and I didn't want – this isn't coming out the way I hoped," he said in frustration, running his hands through his hair.
"Kurt," Blaine said calmingly, trapping Kurt's hands between his own and looking him in the eyes. "I trust you. I always trust you. Ask."
"After – after the Sadie Hawkins dance, you were depressed?" Kurt queried nervously, feeling as though he was walking on eggshells.
"Yes," Blaine said plainly, still calm. "I also had PTSD," he acknowledged, his eyes pained but unflinchingly honest. "That was worse than the depression. Nightmares and flashbacks. Feeling hyper-aware of everything. Being startled by loud noises or people I wasn't expecting. It took me a while to get over both," he admitted. "I had help – a therapist, at the hospital, who was really nice. I kept seeing her for several months afterward, even after I started at Dalton." He paused, considering what Kurt had asked and the way he had asked it, and all at once everything clicked. "You think I ought to see her."
"Not her, necessarily, unless you want to, but someone," Kurt said delicately, speaking with his lips next to Blaine's temple, so tenderly that the love in his voice made Blaine physically ache. "I think it would help. This isn't you, Blaine. You're too thin, you're not sleeping, you're far too sad, you're being much too hard on yourself, and you – you aren't even taking joy in singing anymore, and that isn't the Blaine I know. I wish – I wish you had more of a support system to help you; I didn't realize how alone you really are until you said it. You should have more people to turn to."
Blaine let out a breath, thinking it through. Kurt could tell that he was turning things over in his mind, making connections between then and now. Kurt had been fairly sure that Blaine hadn't recognized the signs of falling into depression, too absorbed in his own sadness to link what he was feeling to some of what he had felt years before. Seeing the awareness come into Blaine's eyes now made him even more glad that he had been proactive about trying to help.
"I, um, I talked to Carole," Kurt said apprehensively. He had been wondering for four days if this would be the moment when Blaine would get angry at him for going too far, revealing too much to people outside of their safe space. "She got some good references from a friend at the hospital." He pulled out his wallet and extracted a folded piece of paper from it; he hadn't wanted to lose it or for anyone else to see it. "She didn't tell anyone at the hospital who it was for," he added hastily. He wanted to make sure that Blaine knew that. "She just said it was for a family member."
Blaine's eyes widened. "She thinks of me like family?" he asked, his voice choked.
"Oh, Blaine," Kurt murmured. "We've been together for a year and a half, and you were my closest friend even before that. Of course she does."
"I love your family," Blaine sighed. "Just the fact that Carole is willing to do something like that for me, when I'm not her son. . ."
"She loves you, Blaine," Kurt reminded him. "Dad does, too. No matter what, you're always going to be welcome here. I'm not her son either, remember, but I might as well be."
Blaine smiled. "She does seem to be the type to mother everyone," he agreed.
"She is – but she really would do just about anything for Finn, me, and you," Kurt clarified. "She loves Dad so much, and I'm his son, and you are the person I love. We both became her family when she became a Hummel. She's very much like Dad in that way; family is everything for her."
"Your dad passed that on to you as well," Blaine noted fondly.
"So you're not upset with me?" Kurt asked, a trifle timidly. "I was – I didn't want to overstep, but I am so worried, Blaine."
"Kurt, I could never be angry that you're concerned about me," Blaine reassured him. "I forget what it's like to have people worry, sometimes," he added, his voice low. "I didn't realize how much this felt like – before – and I really should have."
"I can't stay long enough to go with you, but if you decide to go to someone, I will be there for you," Kurt promised, once again taking Blaine's hands firmly in his own. "However you need me to be."
"I love you," Blaine said fervently. "I love you so much, Kurt." He turned his body completely, kissing Kurt feverishly, and this time Kurt followed his instincts and responded eagerly, marveling as always at the yearning and completeness that came with Blaine's lips and touch.
"I love you too," he responded between kisses and soft gasps for air. "Come with me."
Kurt tugged them toward his room, maneuvering them there between more kisses and moans and roaming hands. Once there, he pulled them toward his bathroom, and it wasn't until they were standing inside that Blaine noticed where they were. He looked adorable, his hair mussed and sticking up every which way, his clothing awry, his lips kiss-swollen, and when his forehead wrinkled in confusion Kurt had to laugh, placing another light kiss on his lips.
"We still have some time. And this will make cleaning up easier," he explained. Kurt reached inside his shower and turned on the water, making sure it didn't get too hot, before turning around and grinning at Blaine. With swift fingers, Kurt undid the buttons of his shirt and slid it off his shoulders, hanging it carefully on one of the hooks on his bathroom door before peeling off his t-shirt. Blaine was simply staring at him, drinking in the sight of him as though Kurt was an oasis in the desert, until Kurt reached out and tugged at the bottom of his sweater. Starting momentarily, but then taking the hint, Blaine pulled the sweater over his head and was left in his own tee, which quickly joined his folded sweater on the floor.
Mindful that the water was running, Kurt quickly stripped off his skinny black trousers and boxer briefs, and Blaine followed suit with his own jeans and briefs. He reached toward Kurt almost involuntarily, his eyes conveying all the longing he couldn't seem to voice, and Kurt caught his forearms and pulled him close. They both sighed at the feel of skin on skin, and Kurt carefully walked backwards into the shower stall, Blaine moving with him until they could rest against the wall under the hot spray.
Blaine burrowed inside the warm circle of Kurt's arms for the second time in the last few hours, standing in between Kurt's legs and pressing kisses on Kurt's collarbone.
"So beautiful," Kurt murmured into Blaine's shoulder, letting his hands slide down the muscles and planes of Blaine's back, to the smooth curve of his waist and the swell of his ass. He squeezed lightly there, and Blaine groaned softly, his hips arching involuntarily toward Kurt.
"Kurt," he breathed. "I want you so much."
They were both half hard already, and Kurt shuddered at the contact between them, inhaling sharply against Blaine's neck at the brush of Blaine's cock against his own. Part of him wanted to simply give in and ravish Blaine against the shower wall, but another, more insistent part of his brain wanted Blaine to feel cherished, emotionally and physically loved in a way that wasn't just sexual. All of this was inevitably seductive, when they hadn't seen each other in two months and were both aching for the physical part of their relationship that had been missing, but there were ways of making this last. Right now Blaine needed a reminder of how important he was to Kurt, and quick mutual release wasn't going to accomplish that.
Kurt took a deep breath to calm the urgency humming under his skin, and then kissed Blaine softly and slowly, letting his lips linger lightly – no pressure, no tongue, simply gentle contact that both built tension and released it, making their breathing quicken but their bodies languorous. When they pulled apart, Blaine's eyes were calmer – still heavy-lidded and lust-filled, but no longer frantic.
"I want you, too. I always want you," Kurt murmured. "We'll get there, love, I promise. Let me take care of you a bit first. Get your hair wet."
Blaine complied, switching positions with Kurt so that he was directly under the water, while Kurt found his shampoo and poured some into his hands, rubbing them together. Once Blaine had his hair wet and had turned his back to Kurt, Kurt worked the shampoo through Blaine's hair, massaging his scalp thoroughly and kneading out the gel that had molded his hair into a stiff plaster. Blaine almost melted against Kurt as he worked, letting his head fall back and emitting soft sounds of contentment. Kurt kissed the nape of Blaine's neck as he finished.
"Rinse," he instructed, and Blaine turned again to wash the lather down his body. Kurt repeated the process with the conditioner, remembering to pull the one from the caddy that was good for Blaine's curls, and by the time he was through rubbing the conditioner in, Blaine was completely lax against him.
"You have to stand for me for this next part, sweetheart," Kurt said into Blaine's ear, chuckling softly.
Kurt took a clean washcloth from the holder and rubbed soap into it, and as Blaine resumed standing upright, Kurt began to wash him, starting at his shoulders and working his way down Blaine's arms, then moving back to his pectorals and down his firm abs, over the slight softness around his bellybutton and to the sharp angles of his hipbones. He moved around Blaine slightly in order to reach his shoulders and back, pressing at the knots in Blaine's muscles as he washed, making Blaine groan again and sway slightly on his feet.
"That feels incredible," he sighed. "I thought I remembered how good you were at massages, but clearly my memory was faulty."
"One of my many talents," Kurt smiled. "And I thought I remembered how gorgeous you are, but nothing compares to seeing you in person," he said intently, kissing behind Blaine's ear before he continued his ministrations. He worked his way down Blaine's thighs and calves and then lifting Blaine's feet to wash them one at a time, grinning as Blaine giggled above him at the tickling sensation.
Kurt stood from his kneeling position while Blaine let the water cascade over his body, letting the suds run down to the floor in rivulets and leaving his body glistening and clean. As Blaine's head came up from under the spray, his eyes met Kurt's, and they were almost golden with the light from overhead and the reflection of it off of their skins.
Their gazes held for a long minute, and then Kurt's mouth was on Blaine's, a soft whimper escaping his throat as their lips and tongues met, as Blaine's arms went around him and their limbs tangled together, as their hands glided over each other, swift yet tender. Kurt's only conscious thought was that he would never get enough of this, the way Blaine's hands set his skin on fire, the way Blaine's kisses made his blood sing with love and need. He ran his hands through Blaine's curls, kissing every part of Blaine that he could reach.
"I love you," Kurt breathed as he ran his tongue over the shell of Blaine's ear, making Blaine shudder and grip his shoulders. "I love you, Blaine. I'm not letting you go."
"Kurt," Blaine panted, rocking his hips into Kurt's and causing them both to cry out. "I want you inside me. I want to feel you. Please, love."
Kurt responded wordlessly, kissing Blaine deeply, all teeth and tongue and heat, as he fumbled through the bottles in his shower caddy, finally finding the lubricant carefully hidden in the back. He flipped open the lid and coated the fingers on his right hand, almost dropping the bottle as Blaine leaned down to suck and tease at his nipple.
"God, Blaine," he gasped, throwing his head back against the wall as Blaine moved to the other side of his chest, teasing his other nipple in turn. Blaine moved down his torso, kissing and licking over his abs, until Kurt reached down and tangled his left hand in Blaine's curls, tugging to bring him upright again. Kurt reached around to slide his fingertips over Blaine's hole, massaging the puckered skin and making Blaine arch toward him before he slid one finger inside. Blaine braced his arms against the wall, moans falling from his lips as Kurt touched him and finally breached the tight ring of muscle.
"Kurt," he choked out. "Kurt. I've missed you so much."
Kurt felt his eyes fill with tears as another wave of tenderness washed over him. The way Blaine said his name never failed to leave him awed and vulnerable and completely in love; Blaine uttered his name as though it was the most sacred word he would ever say in his life, as though the simple syllable Kurt was his touchstone, his home, his heart, his reason for being. Hearing his name on Blaine's lips was its own kind of caress, and it was never so arousing as it was now, intermingled with oh and yes and there and I love you.
Kurt worked Blaine open slowly as they kissed and moved against each other. He added one finger so that he was scissoring two, and eventually added another. It had been quite some time and he didn't want to hurt Blaine in any way.
By the time he had three fingers inside, Blaine was pushing back against him, quiet cries and half-formed words spilling over Kurt in an achingly arousing symphony.
"Kurt, please," Blaine finally pleaded breathlessly. "I'll be fine, love, I promise. You won't hurt me." He reached out and took the lube from where Kurt had put it back on the shelf, and then it was Kurt's turn to groan as Blaine's fingers slid over his shaft, slicking him up before pulling him in for another long kiss. Kurt could feel them both shaking with desire that was almost overwhelming.
Blaine turned once more, bracing his arms against the wall as Kurt lined himself up and eased into Blaine. He could feel Blaine tense and then relax, and Kurt moved inch by inch, allowing Blaine to adjust to the intrusion. By the time Kurt was all the way in, he was using every ounce of self-control he had not to move. Blaine was so hot and tight and perfect, and Kurt wanted nothing more than to lose himself in the gorgeous body of his boyfriend.
"Blaine," he managed to say. "Can I - ?"
"Move," Blaine commanded, his voice sounding equally needy. "Move, Kurt, God, I want –"
Kurt began to thrust slowly, and after that he knew nothing but the heat swirling through his body and the need pooling in his groin, and the smell and feel and scent and sound of Blaine. He wrapped one arm around Blaine's torso, and reached his other arm around to stroke Blaine's cock. He twisted his wrist the way he knew drove Blaine wild, making Blaine cry out and thrust against him harder. Kurt could tell he was close, and he leaned in to speak next to Blaine's ear.
"Come for me, love. Let go. I've got you."
On the next thrust, Blaine came, arching his hips and keening, and Kurt followed him over the edge, crying out against Blaine's shoulder. They were both trembling, and Kurt pressed kisses over Blaine's shoulders and down his spine as he gently pulled away. He moved to Blaine's front and gathered Blaine against him, and the two of them simply stood under the spray, curled up in each other's arms.
"I love you," Blaine murmured, kissing up Kurt's shoulder and neck. "I love you so much, Kurt."
"I love you," Kurt returned softly, placing several tender kisses in Blaine's curls. "I'll always love you, Blaine."
Blaine's shoulders started to shake, and before Kurt could ask what was wrong, Blaine looked up at him with a wide, mischievous smile. "How on earth are we supposed to get through Friday night dinner now?"
Kurt began to laugh, too. "Very carefully. We'll have to put our acting skills to good use. I'm not sure how it would go over if Dad knew we had sex in the shower before he and Carole got home."
"Hopefully he will just think that we're ecstatic to see each other – which is absolutely, unequivocally true," Blaine said with another smile, and he began to kiss Kurt again.