It was December and she felt the month's chill run through her bones. Her slim legs were crossed against each other as she sat silently on the edge of the couch. She could feel his silence penetrate her mind, edging in and taunting her. Swirls of emotions were coming up but she just kept silent. She knew what was coming, but she didn't want to say anything at all.
"I'm sorry," he finally whispered. He didn't even have the courage to look up at her. "I don't think this is going to work out." She stayed silent. His eyes glanced over at the fireplace swiftly as the flame was going out.
She felt the fresh tears roll down her soft cheeks. He still didn't look at her.
The words she wanted to say were trying so helplessly to claw their way out of her throat. She felt a sob escape. She couldn't control her tears but she was trying so hard to control her anger. He finally looked up.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured. He didn't dare edge closer. He was sitting on the other side of the couch as though there was a barrier blocking them apart.
"You still love her," she choked out. She couldn't even understand how those words finally escaped from her body. But there they were, floating so deadly in the air. She was sure he heard. His head hung in shame and she heard his gulp. She couldn't even muster up the courage to say much. "Its okay," she said softly. Her insides were tearing her apart. She wasn't even thinking closely to what she was actually saying and he knew it too. He knew she would say anything to make him feel better.
"I'm sorry," he said again. Those words weren't good enough, but she couldn't tell him that. She was trapped in her own love while it was stifling her own growth. She just got up slowly and started to walk out of the room. That was one thing she was going to do for herself. She was just going to walk away.
A/N This was by far probably one of my favorite excerpts to write because FINALLY there's some growth to her. At just least a little bit. It was a bit of strength I guess. But at the same time she's still really hindered by her love for Nick. She wanted so much to be everything he wanted even after he broke her heart. So its just such a dual moment, you know?