What the fuck am I suppose to tell her? My wife? That my ex lover who I Love more than life itself isn't really dead but alive., and no one can ever amount to her? What about Ana? What am suppose to tell her? She's goanna be crushed. "That was detective Martin. It turns out during 9-11 they were a group of people who were abducted, and taken hostage… Anastasia was on of them and she is alive, In Clarkson hospital." I stare at rose intently. I see her intake of breath and her pupils widen. She starts to blink excessively and frown while she looks around the room, trying to gather her thoughts. "Anastasia, she's alive? That's why you need Charlie tango I'm guessing? You're going to see her?" I frown a little and set my mouth into a grim line. "Yes." I have nothing else to say. She sucks on her bottom lip and let's go slowly while nodding her head. "Okay." That's all the words I get from her as she goes back to the island counter to retrieve her lap top. Never looking at me she walks past me and stops at my side. WE are now side by side, she is facing the hall and I am facing the kitchen, I don't have the guts to look her way, neither does she. She grabs hold of my arm, kisses it, and slowly leaves her lips on my arm to inhale my sent, before giving it a squeeze and walking off. The warmth of the touch she just made still lingers on my arm. I have a lot of shit to deal with. I wish I could rewind or fast forward or do something. But the only thing running in my mind is the fact that my baby is alive. Not dead, but alive.
Anastasia's POV
Slowly I flutter my eyes open, trying to bare with the strong bright lights that are still pretty much new to me. My body is numb; every breath I take is a struggle for me as the sharp pain pierces through my body. I bite my lips and screw my eyes shut as I take in the pain. Okay Ana juts try and calm down, don't get to excited. I go for small short breaths because they seem to hurt less. As I gather up the strength to open up my eyes again I can see a figure a figure hovered over my bead kissing my hands. As I blink a couple of more times to clear my vision I can put together some details. Copper hair, White shirt, and that's all the details I need to make him out as Christian. "Chris.. Christian?" My breathing fastens and a small frown forms on my head. He's here. Suddenly he looks up and I can see a series of tears rolling down his face, and his red eyes are staring at me. "Oh Ana baby." I can feel tears of my own fall from my eyes down to my cheeks and onto my hair. I have been waiting for this day for over three years. He suddenly grabs hold of either sides of my face and kisses my hairs and forehead. "Oh god Christian. I've missed you." He stays there inhaling my scent and reviling in the moment as am I until he finally sits on the chair near my bed, and takes hold of my hand. "Ana, god you don't know how fucking good it is to hear you, smell you, feel you," He closes his eyes as more tears strut down his face, "I can't explain the feeling I feel right now, nor can I explain the feelings of how I felt when I found out you died, or how I had to cope with the fact that it was indeed true. I…. I couldn't…" He stops again and kisses my hand again. Oh god if only I can just show him rather than tell him how I feel. "Baby I know believe me….. I love you so much Christian and that was what kept me going the whole time. No one else or nothing else just the mere though that I can see you again gave me hope." I squeeze his hand tighter until I feel something pressing against my finger. I look down at out intertwined hands and my heart completely stops. Here I thought my heart couldn't possibly be broken any more, I couldn't be in more pain than what I am in already. I was wrong. "Christian…." I unlock my hands with his and take hold of his ring finger that has a gold ring places on it. I look from him to the ring so much times hoping that it would disappear, that I was hallucinating. He notices what I'm looking at and he stays stock still. "A.. a ring? Why do you have a ring Christian?" I ask as my voice gets a little higher and my head shakes. "Ana I'm.. When you died… I got married." I inhale and my heart stops and I forget to breath. I just stay there as my ability to breath is lost , and my exhale that is waiting to come to release my suffering is stuck in my throat. I stay there wide eyed, as one single tears falls from my eye and leaves a trail of color all the way down to my lip. As I close my eyes shut because I can't bare to look at him any longer, many more tears flow freely but no sound is coming out. I let out a shuddering exhale, and hide my face behind my hands. He has a wife. He said I was the only one he ever wanted. Was it a lie? Does he let her touch him? Is she a sub? With every question I seem to be hurting more and more. How could he? "Ana baby please let me explain." Explain? How in the hell can he explain? He takes my hands out of my face leaving my face once again exposed. But the pain I'm feeling is getting stronger by the minute, as new thoughts come into my head. He said he loved me, I showed him how to love. My tears are no longer silent as they become loud panting breaths. I can feel my heart beating fast as If it will surely break through my fragile body, considering the state I'm in. Now things are just a blur. I'm fighting for air as my breathing quickens and my chest starts to rise and fall in a fast motion. I can hear my heart monitor beeping like crazy and can see faint images of many people surrounding me and Christian panicking. "We're losing her!" I can hear different shouts, some of my name, some cry's, some about my condition. I can't hold on any longer. I can't breathe. My vision is being blurred and I'm letting go. I'm letting go of all the pain, the aching the sorrow. I'm letting go of my life. I don't want to feel this hurt any longer. These feelings of betrayal, abandonment, disbelief. I can't fight any longer; my body isn't in my control. What's the point of living anyways, if your reason for living, the person that makes you happy most, doesn't belong to you anymore? All of my thoughts, my pain, and my panic are released as I finally let go. The last thing I hear is the sound of my heart monitor that had nothing left to monitor as my heart beat goes flat.