It was past 11 when Cheif Swan came into his daughter's room, gently nudging her awake.

"Bells, will you be alright by yourself? I gotta go to the station" Charlie gently said as he gave Bella one more gentle nudge.

He could hear her muffled reply with her face behind the piles of pillows and blankets on her face,

"Alright, I'll be home tonight. Stay out of trouble"

She heard the door click as Charlie stepped out of her room.

I felt horrible today, I felt like a storm just washed over me. I clawed my way out of the fortress that was my blankets and pillows and glanced at the clock. 11:30, and it's a sunday.
At least I don't have to face school today. I don't think I can stand one more day of stares filled with pity, and all of them simultaneously asking if I'm alright, I don't need a daily reminder.

She wasn't hungry, in fact, she had lost her apetite completely, she was loosing weight rapidly. But today the slightest whisper of hunger came over her, which surprised her, because these days, food just tasted like cardboard. She grabbed an apple from the fridge and went back up to her room. She ate slowly and savoured the taste. Today felt differet, nothing that can be noticed but just different. She headed for the bathroom and stopped in front of her mirror. Do I really look that pale? She stared at the stranger in the mirror. Her skin was almost translucent, and there were circles around her eyes. Her eyes had lost their sparkle. Had she really changed that much in the last few months? But what shocked her the most was the clothes she was wearing to sleep, which consisted of her old white sleeved shirt and baggy pajamas. I didn't wear this to sleep last night. A shiver went through her, it was as though she had forgotten something important. She took off her clothes and stepped into the shower, still she felt unsettled. Something happened last night. She sat down on her bathtub and placed the shower on full force, she curled her knees up to her chin, she was trying hard to remember what had happened. She can't be sure wether it was real or if it was another nightmare. Her eyes widened as she remembered. The last thing I remembered was sitting on the roof and then I had almost fallen but then he was there, he had to be, I heared his voice. I saw him. No. That was a dream. But I saw his eyes, could that be a dream as well?

She dried herself and started to dress. Her favorite jeans were now loose, and she could feel her hip bone pptruding, she felt disgusted and decided to wear a large jacket over her old baggy arizona shirt.

She paced back and forth in her room, her old trainers making the floorboards squeak in the process. She was debating wether or not to go visit his house, she had not been there since he said goodbye. But then what would she do there? It's probably locked up and empty, I could just stand in the porch and look around. She scoffed at the thought, she congratulated herself on having reached a new level of stupidity. She did remember it was for sale, she shuddered at the thought of someone was there what could she say to excuse herself? Oh excuse me sir I just really wanted to see my ex-boyfriend's house so I can keep my sanity together, oh did I mention he's a vampire? She scoffed at the idea. But just sitting here, she felt more alone than she ever did in her whole life. This sadness is just eating away at her, she needed something to wake her up, to help her out of this dark hole that she is stuck in. She stopped her pacing and sat on the bed. I'm not going there, I can't, it will just tear me apart. I'm not gonna go there.

She can't beleive it. She just can't beleive how this is happening. She maneuvered her way on the familiar road that led to his house. This is stupid, stupid, stupid. I can't beleive I'm doing this. It's like I have no control over my own mind and body anymore, one moment I say no the next I'm actually doing it, sometimes I ask myself if I really am awake anymore.

It felt like the longest drive of her life. All the memories colliding, as the memories washed over her once again like a violent storm with raging seas and dark skies. She gripped the wheel as she stepped on the accelerator.

She stood there approximately 1 foot away from the house. The room started to spin, she could see his face, the words he said, she felt sick. She thought coming here would somehow give her some sort of closure, but no it's like sucking away the life out of her. She pressed a hand to her head to stop it from throbbing when a memory fro last night floated into her concious mind.

She could see Carlisle standing there on the rooftop with her, saving her from that fall, asking her to open her eyes.

He was there, I just couldn't remember what happened afterwards, what did I do? what happened to me?

She felt her knees gave way but before they could hit the ground, she felt cold but gentle hands on her shoulder gently holding and keeping her from falling, she turned to face him.

"Carlisle. . " Was all she could force out, she didn't even want to blink, afraid that this might be an illusion. But Carlisle's face was there, he really was standing, she could feel his hands on her shoulder.

He gave her a reassuring smile as he spoke, "Don't worry Bella, I'm real, I'm here" But his smile turned into a frown on his beautiful face as he saw the physical state that Bella is in.

"Let's get you inside . "

They made their way into the house. He gently lead her to the kitchen and with an easy lift sat her on the kitchen counter.

Bella was looking at him warily as he placed a kettle on the stove.

"Is every-" Her mind was screaming at her to ask the question she had been trying to hold back as she swallowed hesitantly, before she continued and decided to change her question, "Where's Alice?"

Carlisle turned to look at her with that knowing smile of his, "I'm the only one here" Then his expression turned serious "I wanted to make sure you were alright Bella, I'm deeply sorry for what he had done, I know how badly he's hurt you, I didn't want him to leave things the way they did, I'm so sorry."

She looked at him, she had been fighting the urge to flung her arms around him since last night, but she didn't want to seem weak and pathetic. He walked closer to her, his golden eyes studying her, missing nothing. He placed a gentle hand on her forehead. She didn't have the heart to meet his gaze afraid that her eyes would betray the emotion that was inside of her.

"Alice had a vision of you, you were on top of a roof. She had the assumption that you were about to jump" He looked at her but Bella was avoiding his eyes,

"Bella. . . Bella look at me" He lifted her chin lightly, she shook her head stubbornly.

"Bella please. ." Carlisle pleaded.

Finally she did, her eyes brimming with unshed tears, there was such sadness in her eyes that could not be measured by words. Carlisle was overwhelmed with a frisson of guilt,

"Bella. . .I want to help you. . ." He spoke to her in a voice more gentler than he had before that it broke all her resolve and threw her arms around his neck and held him as if for dear life as a torrent of tears began. She knew how uncomfortable this situation might be for him but he's the closest thing she has to peace and comfort, even as she was thinking how much discomfort she was giving Carlisle, she felt him slowly put his arms around her and held her close. . . .