A spotlight turns on, aimed right at a brightly smiling blonde. Though the smile seems a bit strained.

"Hey everybody. I bet you're all wondering what I'm going to go off on you about today. Well its simple biology this time round. First off I will state that being a nation means a lot of the impossible is suddenly possible, that whole immortal thing, you know? But some of you seem to really like stretching things beyond what even could pretend to make sense.

Let's start with that male impregnation stuff that seems oh so popular. First off we are men so if you are going to have us get pregnant make an attempt to work out the how's of it. Even if you don't write it out to explain it to the readers have it in your mind what caused a man to get pregnant. Honestly I'm only mentioning this cause I see a lot of you just going 'oh look they had sex, now comes babies.' It doesn't work like that. For as long as nations people have been around you'd think if was that simple to get pregnant there would be a lot more little kiddies running around. Therefore certain conditions would have to be met in order to get us pregnant. So you got a pregnant guy in your story and he doesn't know it cause, you know, no guy in his right mind is going to think he can get pregnant without reason. So he gets symptoms like tiredness, morning sickness, weird cravings, you know the normal things. First off he isn't going to run out and get a pregnancy test at the local pharmacy store and no doctor is going to run tests on a guy for pregnancy. Figure out some way for him to, I don't know come to an epiphany. And while we're on the subject, timelines for pregnancies. They last nine months, and unless you have a very good reason or explanation for it to be longer or shorter you need to know this stuff. So the first trimester, months 1-3, this is when morning sickness, tiredness and those tip off symptoms tend to happen and they usually kick in more at the 2 month point than say the day after. In fact conception can take up to 2 days to actually happen after the event. so yeah the soonest morning sickness will kick in is maybe 2 weeks after the sex event.

The next biggest problem I see with this stuff is when the baby bump shows up, the second trimester, months 4-6. Depending on the size of the person that got knocked up its going to take more or less time for the bump to be noticeable. Skinny people would show sooner and larger people will take longer, so the average is about 5 months when that shows.

After that most of you seem to actually have things down up until the time for the baby to arrive. I don't care how you explained a guy getting knocked up but no amount of explanation is going to allow that kid to come by 'natural' means. Men do not have a birth canal and they never will, which means you need to have that kid come via c-section. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Ok so what next..."

Alfred stops to think and a second blonde pokes himself into the spotlight.

"Al? Alfred, what are you doing?"

"Huh, oh hey Mattie, just telling these folks about our biology. You know to straighten some things out."

"Uh, right. Well you want me to take over? Alaska is crying for you."

"What, ah man."

With that Alfred bolts off to the side. Matthew watches him leave before shutting off the spotlight mumbling about his brother losing his mind.