Chapter 12

"Damn it!" John thought as he marched out to his truck. "Why is she so secretive? What is she hiding?" John mused as he sped down the road, heading to his crab boat. There was plenty of work to be done to get her ready for crabbing. No time to think about problems with Bailey. "I just need to get busy. No problem with that. Besides, I have two weeks until I have to leave. Maybe she will come around." John thought as he pulled the truck up to the pier.

John climbed on to the boat and greeted his family and friends. "Hey Andy! Scott! Where have you been Mike?" John said as he shook hands with some and hugged Andy and Scott.

"I took my wife along on a few promotional tours for DC. I just don't spend enough time with her lately." Mike said with his usual smile on his face. "Where have you been? Spending time with your new pin cushion?"

John frowned and snarled, "Hell no. I have been just hanging around town."

John decided that was enough catching up and stalked off to find something else to do. He didn't notice Andy following him and jumped when Andy finally said something. "You know, I can see right through you. What is wrong with you? You have been very quiet lately. Is it a girl? You never get this upset about a girl…so that can't be it. Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to keep guessing."

"No, I won't tell you. I need to just get over it. Now please, let me get to work."

"Ok." Andy sighed as he walked away. Andy was clearly worried about John. He never acts like this. "I hope he gets over this before we go out fishing." Andy thought.

1

As soon as John left, Bailey settled back on her couch. She was worried that John was gone for good, but the pain meds were making her too sleepy to care at the moment. So closing her eyes, she slept for the rest of the afternoon.

She awoke to Cara and Emily coming in the door. The girls were always loud and boisterous as they entered any room. They definitely took after their mother with that. "Hey, mom! How are you feeling?" Cara asked as she entered the room.

"I'm fine, baby girl!" Bailey smiled as she sat up slowly.

"Ribs bothering you a little today?"

"Yeah, I took my meds, but they make me sleepy. So I've been asleep all afternoon." Bailey says as Cara comes over for a kiss. "Hey Em, where are you going?" Bailey asks as Emily heads down the hall.

Emily replies grumpily, "Homework."

Cara and Bailey look at each other with a worried look that clearly said, "What is wrong with her?"

2

"How dare they act like nothing is wrong? You don't just kill some one and get away with it! I will get justice for this. She will pay Bailey will pay. I just have to figure out how or when." Sitting at my table, I try to map out a plan. "There has to be some way that I can get her back for what she has done…"

3

"Cara, Em! Come eat before dinner gets cold!" Bailey calls down the hall. Both girls come in the dining room and sit at their normal positions.

Conversation is easy and light with the exception of Emily. She is strangely quiet and distant. Bailey worries that the appointment with the therapist won't come soon enough for Emily. There has been a lot going on this past year. Including these past three months. First, her dad and I divorce, that couldn't have been very easy considering she was a Daddy's girl. Second, my yanking her thousands of miles away from her dad and putting her in a strange town and school. Third, with him attacking me twice, and my killing him in self-defense. No wonder the girl is unusually quiet.

4

After the girls eat and had gone to bed, Bailey needed a drink. Bailey called Nick and asked him to join her at Duggan's bar for a few drinks. Nick gladly accepted and they agreed to meet an hour later at the bar. Bailey put the phone back on the receiver and paused with her hand on the phone. For a few minutes, she debated calling John. He seemed pretty upset that she didn't want to share her past. Why should she? Why relive the pain and abuse she had been subjected to? No, she couldn't. Not with John leaving in a week or so. It would not be fair to saddle him with the sorrows of her youth and the anger of her teenage years. Besides, if he was going to react to her not telling him this, she didn't know if she wanted him to know or if she wanted him around. Bailey came out of her musings and went to take a shower. She had plans tonight with Nick and she didn't want to think that she was about to lose the one thing that made her happy. Bailey dressed and called for a cab to take her to Duggan's. She was feeling somewhat better, but John was still on her mind.

"Hey, you!" Bailey said in greeting to Nick.

"Hey stranger! How are the ribs?" Nick asked as he pulled Bailey into a gentle hug.

"Sore, but healing. How about you? I haven't seen you much lately."

"Yeah, since Paul's body went missing-"

"Wait, what?" exclaimed Bailey sitting up a little too fast for her ribs. Wincing in pain, she looked Nick in the eyes to see if he was kidding. "Why haven't I heard anything about this? Weren't you supposed to take him home? I know he wrote in his will that you are supposed to take him to his parents-"

"Bail, wait. Don't freak out! I made reservations for him to go back home and the car I hired to take him to Anchorage had an accident. The guy, the car, and the casket with Paul's body have not been found. We don't know where they had an accident, but there are people looking."

Bailey sat back with a wild look in her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me? Do the girls know? Oh, that's probably what is wrong with Em. Poor girl. She's been through a lot."

"No, Bail. Em doesn't know. This is all being done quietly. I don't want the media get a hold of this. For the sake of the girls."

Bailey sat back still visibly worried. "Since I've returned home, I feel like someone is watching me. Like someone is going to jump out of the bushes at me. This news is not going to make me feel any better. I will not rest well until I know he is 6 feet under." Bailey shuddered at the thought of him coming back and hurting her again, or worse her children.

Bailey and Nick sit and drink a few drinks and talk about the good old times. It felt nice to sit with someone who knows a lot about her. It took a long time for Nick to find out everything about Bailey. There were countless questions deflected and lots of silences, but Bailey finally felt comfortable to open up about the hard stuff. After that, they had a healthy friendship. Too bad Bailey didn't trust John yet with her past and the reason she never talks to or about her family.

After a good visit, Bailey decided to call it a night. "I should really go now, Nick. I have had way to much to drink."

"Let me drive you home. You shouldn't have to pay for a cab." Nick offered.

Bailey nodded an acceptance. "Thanks. I think I will take you up on that one."

Bailey and Nick pay their tab and start to walk out. "So, when I'm mad you run straight to Nick? Is this how it's always going to be?" slurred John from behind Bailey.

"No John." Bailey said as she turned around to find John glaring drunkenly at her and Nick. "We were just having a good time."

"I bet you two will go have a good time at Bailey's house after you leave here. Is this what you aren't telling me? Is he better than me?" John said as he moved in closer.

"I think I am going to go to the bathroom before we go. You two have a nice chat." Nick says as he walks away.

"Shall we go find a table in a dark corner somewhere please?" Bailey asked pleading with her eyes for John to not start a scene.

"No. I think I deserve answers."

"Oh you do, do you? You think that just because I don't want to talk about my past that I'm hiding other things from you? Well John, let me ask you something. Have you ever thought that my past is a painful one? That maybe, just maybe it is too painful and too hard to bring up? I have been going to therapy for a few months now trying to straighten my head out enough to even be with you. If you can't handle the fact that I can't talk about it right now, then you and I should not see each other any more."

Bailey with tears streaming down her face turned and walked out of Duggan's. John watched her walk out, speechless for the first time in a long time. Nick appeared behind John and grabbed his shoulder. "Maybe you shouldn't have pressed it. She wouldn't keep anything important from you. But what she has been through is really hard for her to tell with out her going into full panic attack. Be easy on her. When she is ready, she will tell you. Give her time."

Nick walked out behind Bailey and took her home. Not wanting to feel alone, Bailey invited Nick in for coffee. They both sat in silence waiting for the coffee to brew. When the coffee was done, they took their mugs in the living room and sat to watch a movie. They both picked an action flick and settled in. After about 30 minutes in, Bailey and Nick were yawning in unison.

"You want to stay in the guest bedroom? I will text John and tell him that is what you are doing so he won't flip out." Bailey asked. They had done so in the past and she saw no reason why it would be any problem.

"No thanks. I think I will just go on home." Nick said as he stretched.

"OK. I will walk you to the door."

"So, why is John pressing you about your past?" Nick asked as they headed to the door.

"I don't know. I wish he wouldn't push. It hurts so much to tell people what happened." Bailey said as tears started falling.

Nick grabbed Bailey to comfort her. "Bailey, please don't cry."

Bailey looked up in Nick's eyes, Nick still holding her. "Sorry. I don't mean to be so mushy."

"Shh" Nick shushes her as he, still holding her brushes hair away from her face. They hold their gazes for a few moments and Nick bends his head to let his lips graze hers. Surprising Bailey, her arms reached up and wound around his neck and kissed him softly. Nick's mouth soft yet urgent felt good to Bailey. The kiss deepened and Nick ran his fingers through Bailey's hair. His grip tightened around her waist and Bailey gasped in pain, breaking their embrace.

"Oh, Bail. I'm so sorry…" Nick said and he turns to leave without another word.

As Nick walks out, Bailey shuts the door behind him and leans against the door. She touches her lips with the tips of her fingers. "Oh, boy." Bailey thought to her self. "What am I going to do now?"