Chapter 14

POV: Jeanette

The words to describe my nervousness do not exist in the English language. My physics examination was tomorrow. I had studied for hours, perhaps even days, to be sure of myself, but it didn't work; I was still just as worried.

Simon helped a lot, but I knew that he would be leaving soon. It was extremely selfish of me, but I almost wished he would fail his exams. If he didn't have a good enough mark, he wouldn't go to Massachusetts. But I was better than that, and I wasn't going to forget my morals as soon as a situation arose to test them.

I decided I would just make the most of the time that was left. I would spend every minute of every day with Simon. We could stay with each other for as long as possible. Somehow this didn't comprise great consolation.

I wanted Simon to stay, but I wanted him to go. It was impossible to understand, and my brain was going crazy. I needed to go with him; it was the only perfect solution, but for one small fact: I couldn't afford to fly to Massachusetts and go to MIT.

My thoughts were interrupted by Eleanor.

"Dinner's ready, Jean." Her head poked around the door to my bedroom. She looked even more bubbly than usual.

"Thanks, Ellie." I walked to the dining room to eat.

Brittan and Miss Miller were already seated, waiting for me. It was usually for Brittany that we were waiting. I sat and started eating without saying a word.

"So what's new with my girls? Anything interesting happening?" Miss Miller smiled kindly at the three of us.

"Well, I have some news." Eleanor grinned, "Theodore and I are going to eat dinner at a restaurant." Brittany played with her food uncomfortably.

"That's great, Ellie!" I exclaimed, "So when's your date?" I asked.

"On Saturday. I can't wait." I knew exactly how she felt. I could use a distraction from my problems, so I continued the line of conversation.

"Well, I'm happy for you." I told her, "I'm sure you'll have an amazing time."

"How about you Brittany?" Miss Miller looked over at Brittany.

"Alvin is such an egotistical dimwit." Brittany pouted, "I can't believe he told me I should change my hairstyle!"

"He's not that bad, Brit." Eleanor interjected, "He just does stupid things sometimes."

"He's not bad to you guys." Brittany looked at Eleanor, "I don't get why he's so mean to me."

"It's only because he likes you." I entered the conversation.

"Then he has a strange way of showing it." Brittany resumed eating dinner. Miss Miller saw her chance to change the subject.

"So what's been happening in the life of Jeanette Miller?" She turned to me.

"Well, I have an exam tomorrow." I told Miss Miller, "So does Simon. If he gets a high score on this one, he gets to go to MIT." I tried my best to look happy, but my best was somewhere between forlorn and depressed.

"Oh, that's good." Miss Miller looked at me, worried about my mood, no doubt, "So why the long face?"

"Simon will probably be leaving soon." I said, trying to stay calm. The thought of being alone again was definitely not appealing. Before I met Simon, I was happiest when left alone to read and learn. Now, reading a book without Simon was like eating bread without butter. No matter how enthralling the story, there was always an empty void beside me, in the shape of Simon. I told myself I should be happy for him. After all, he would be happy. Wasn't that enough? Not when we were apart.

"Oh." Miss Miller said simply, she seemed not to have anything else to say.

I finished my dinner and went back to my room. I picked up my phone and typed a message for Simon:

Hello Simon. Can I come to your house?

My finger hovered over the 'send' button, before moving to 'discard' instead. I would just wait until morning. It would be like practicing for Simon's absence.

This wasn't really a good reason, I just wasn't sure I should intrude on him. He would probably be eating his dinner. Still, I found it almost unbearable to know that he was leaving. I loved him, and I didn't want him to go. I needed him.

I eventually went to bed, and tried to get enough sleep for the exam. I couldn't stop thinking about Simon. It was slightly scary, that falling in love with Simon had changed me so much; before Simon, the exam would have been the only thing on my mind. My nightmare used to be failing. Now it was the day Simon would leave.

I barely slept that night, but after some time, my eyes closed and I fell into a deep slumber.

The next day was the day of my exam. I had to get to school and find Simon. I stood up and strode to the bathroom. I washed as quickly as I could, and made my way to the kitchen. I microwaved some porridge and gulped it down spoonful by spoonful. It was a hectic day already.

I said goodbye to Miss Miller on my way out the door, before walking toward school.

I sat my exam on time, as nervously as was expected. This one was much harder than the first. I could only cling on to the hope that I would pass well.

Simon seemed different when I met him that day. He was more restrained, as though something were bothering him. He denied this when I asked him, but I knew him too well.

I decided it was probably something related to the exam, perhaps he had done badly. I hung on to this wishful thought, but knew that the probability was small.

The next exams were equally difficult. Simon was sure that he would do well. I could tell. He was trying to distance me from him, because he was leaving. I couldn't blame him, but I wanted to spend all of our time together. Even if he left, I would wait. There weren't exactly hundreds of boys hanging off of me. If only I weren't so shy, I would have just explained this to him, but I couldn't say it.

I couldn't stand it any longer. I was alone, one, in the world. Simon was the electron to my proton, the second person in my universe. I decided to go home with him, and study with him.

"Simon? Can I study for the next exam with you?" I asked him, hoping his answer would be the same one he would give when I used to ask him.

"Okay, Jean." He smiled, "If you want, I'd be glad to have you over." I knew he was trying to protect me, but I couldn't be alone again, not until it was necessary.

We walked back to his home, hand in hand, the only way I ever wished us to go anywhere again.

So what did you think? Believable? Interesting? Boring? Be honest, I usually don't write chapters primarily inside the head of a character, so I don't know if it's any good.

Please review, and tell me what you think of the story so far as a whole.

I recently had a birthday party. We watched the three Chipmunk movies one after the other, and we ate cake. We even sat at my computer and wrote this chapter. Can you guess how many people came? You probably can, if you read my profile. In short, when it came time to open presents, I didn't get many, so how about you wonderful readers give me some presents instead, in the form of reviews. :) Don't feel guilty if you don't review, though, I'm quite used to these kinds of parties. It's what I get for being a chipmunk fan, I guess.

But I have digressed.

One last thank you to those who have followed my story and supported me from the beginning.

This is not the end of the story!