Chapter 16

POV: Jeanette

It's here, the next chapter. Although I appreciate the time taken by a certain user to review my story, I'm slightly confused by the fact that they have reviewed three times on different parts of the story, mainly asking me to write the next chapter. In any case, I have done so.

He was gone. Who knew when I would see him again? Simon had left me, alone and deeply disappointed. I wanted to be angry at him for choosing MIT over me, but no matter how I tried, I still loved him and missed him, and understood why he had chosen to leave. It didn't change the fact that I was alone, and for the first time, I didn't want to be.

Simon had changed me. Once I had fallen for him, tasted the fruit of love, I couldn't throw it away. He was the only thing to which I looked forward, and now he was gone.

I looped through these thoughts again, and again. I was alone, even in the presence of those I knew. My sisters were busy most of the time, since we had graduated and gone to university. Eleanor had been going out with Theodore every weekend. The two made the most perfect couple I had ever seen, and it was a constant reminder to me of the way Simon and I had been the most perfect couple. We were still perfect for each other, but the difference was that we could no longer be considered a couple.

There was no more light in my life, no more incredible fulfillment from my work, knowing that Simon was no longer with me to share in it. I had always dreamed of becoming a teacher and helping children reach their own dreams. Now, Simon occupied my dreams instead. Every night he would be standing outside my home, smiling lovingly at me, and I would run outside... and wake up.

Dreams were my only escape, in fact. Sleep was the only thing for which I waited each day; a dangerous habit. At least I was happy when I was with Simon, even if he was only a projection of my subconscious.

In the day, I studied or attended university. My whole life had lead me to this point, and all I could think about was he, he who could make me smile, he who could tell when something was wrong, he who made my reality into a dream. I half wished that I had never fallen in love with him, but I would always remember that the time we were together was the most amazing of my life.

It was difficult, but I managed. I had to. There was nothing left but to mechanically work, eat and sleep. I spoke little, since I had little to say. I tried to be happy when Eleanor explained how wonderful a time she had had with Theodore last night, or when Brittany excitedly recalled the events of the day, but it was almost impossible.

My family must have noticed the change in my behavior, but they said nothing. I suppose it was better that way, but I sometimes wished that someone would draw out my sorrows from within my heart and understand exactly why I was feeling the way I was. They probably already knew why I was being so submissive and sorrowful, but it would have been nice if they had comforted me.

Studies went on as usual, week after week, and no one seemed interested in befriending the depressive, bespectacled girl that was me. I would long for a friend to confide in, someone who would listen to my problems and truly care. I had my sisters, but somehow I never found the right moment to bestow upon them my sob story. Then I would realize that the person I was describing was him. I missed Simon so much, that I thought that soon my subconscious Simon would begin appearing outside my dreams.

I had to be strong, though, and keep my sanity. There was no way some boy could destroy my whole life!

His absence could.

You cannot feel the loss of that wonder which you have not known.

I wished I hadn't let him go, but, at the same time, knew that had I not let him go, he would most likely be feeling the loss of the opportunity with which he was presented.

The abyss was unforgiving. I had not known true sorrow before this time, and I was glad that I had been sorrow free for so long, however this changed little. I was still alone, depressed, and missing Simon with all my heart.

It was as though I were walking through a tunnel, of which the light at the end was slowly fading away.

My alarm clock roused me with a start. I wordlessly rose from bed, and walked out of my bedroom. Brittany and Eleanor were still asleep, as was usual for this time. I washed quickly and combed my hair with my fingers on my way to the kitchen. I didn't care about appearances, I just wanted to get my day out of the way and go back to sleep.

I fixed my breakfast, a flavorless porridge, and ate in silence. Miss Miller presently entered the room, and we exchanged 'Good Morning's. I caught the bus to university, and stared through the window, watching the cars pass below me and the many happy couples who stood outside the shops.

I arrived at university early, as usual. I sat in the library and read parts of various romantic tragedies, in the hope that I would feel luckier than people that were worse off than me. It didn't work, and usually depressed me further, but I had no reason to stop reading them.

I soon entered a lecture hall to listen to a man ramble on about good teaching habits. I mechanically took notes on all of his ideas, but I wasn't truly interested.

Next was another lecture, and another later on. It went on and on, but eventually I had finished with my real life for the day and I could go home. I stood outside, to waite for another bus to take me home, and it soon arrived. I entered through the doors of the bus, and paid for my ticket. I stared once more at the various happenings of the world passing by.

The bus eventually arrived at my final stop, at which I exited the vehicle. I walked slowly toward home, watching my feet step; left, right. Left, right. Before long, I reached my street, and looked at my house. I froze.

There was someone standing outside the gate to my home. I walked cautiously in his direction, to get a closer look. When I was within recognition distance, I stopped in my tracks. My heart began to beat faster, and I slowly started to smile.

My smile was quickly replaced by an expression of pure shock. I was seeing my dream. My dream was happening in real life. I couldn't be dreaming, it was too real. I was going mad, schizophrenic. He was standing before me. Simon was outside my home, waiting for me.

I don't believe there is any moment of greater fear, than the moment in which you honestly believe you are losing your mind. There is no defense, your brain is lying to you.

Simon approached me slowly, looking worried. I was almost hyperventilating with fear. It couldn't be real, and yet I was watching the events unfold before my eyes.

"Jeanette?" Simon said in a worried tone. I was shaking all over. "Jeanette!"

"You're not real." I told myself, "I'll just keep walking past and you'll disappear."

"Jeanette!" Simon exclaimed, "What do you mean?" He wore a confused expression, "I am real."

"You can't be." I stuttered faintly.

"Simon?" I heard a familiar voice behind me, "Jeanette! What's wrong?" Eleanor put her hand on my shoulder.

"You see Simon too?" I asked in a shaky voice. Simon gave me a puzzled look.

"Well, he's standing right in front of us, so; yeah, I see him." I looked back and forth between Eleanor and Simon a few times before slowly sitting down on next to the fence. My heart rate slowly decreased.

"So you came back." I said slowly, "What are you doing here?" My fear slowly turned into curiosity. After a few seconds, I regained my composure and stood up.

"I missed you, Jean. I had to see you." He said, "I went to MIT because I thought it would make me happier and better in the long run. I've never been more wrong."

He did miss me. He had returned, after only a month and a half. He had missed me so much that he left MIT after only a month and a half. I started to smile.

"I couldn't stand it any longer, I couldn't be without you anymore." Simon explained, "I can never be without you again." He knelt before me slowly, "I've never known anyone like you, and I'll never find anyone like you again. You're the only girl I've ever loved, and will love." My heart started to pound quickly. He reached behind his back, and threw a small, dark grey box over his shoulder before catching it in his other hand and offering it to me. The box opened, revealing a small ring, with lots of tiny diamonds around the outside.

"Jeanette, will you marry me?" My heart was beating incredibly fast. Did I want to marry him? I had to think quickly, I could see Simon's worried eyes, pleading with me to say 'yes'. Eleanor's mouth was wide open, and Brittany had presently joined us to find the source of the commotion.

He was the cause of so much pain and misery. Did I really want to stay with him? Our first dinner together flashed through my mind, the way I felt on the way back, that I didn't want it to end.

He didn't cause the pain; his absence did. I wasn't hurt by Simon, I was hurt by the gap that remained when he left. I had been longing for this to happen for weeks, and dreamed about it every night. I had to decide now!

"Yes, Simon!" I exclaimed, "Yes, I'll marry you!" I bounced up and down excitedly. I jumped onto Simon, who caught me in a tight embrace, and quickly passed the ring to Brittany, who was standing to his right, so as not to let it fall to the ground.

"I love you, more than anything in the world." I smiled sweetly up at him.

"I love you, more than anything in the galaxy." He replied.

"I love you more than anything in the universe." I giggled.

"I love you more than anything in the multi-" I placed a finger on Simon's mouth, stopping him mid-sentence. I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him into a long kiss.

"Jeanette Seville." I spoke after we had run out of breath and Simon had slipped the ring onto my finger, "I like the sound of that." We both looked into each other's eyes before I finally invited Simon inside, to tell Miss Miller the news.

Longest chapter yet! The beginning was quite depressing to write, I must admit, so I made up for it with the end.

What do you think? There's a lot of inside-the-head writing in the beginning of this chapter. It's a gamble, since I've never been good at writing in that style, but since the success of my other other chapter written in this way, I decided it was the best way to lead up to the ened of this chapter.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and review, if it pleases you.

This story is coming to a close, and I have the last chapter all planned out, like a good little writer. ;)

Review to find out how I'm going to end the story, I think you'll be surprised, but I'm not giving anything away.