DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does =]

Rose's P.O.V

"Roza." He pressed his lips to mine and I flinched but no matter what I kept telling myself my body responded the opposite way. I moved closer to Dimitri, not once breaking the connection. His lips were so soft and the way his hand caressed my cheek and then moved into my hair playing with it softly made me weak at the knees. I liked him, I honestly did, he was a nice guy, he was smart and funny and everything you could ever want in a guy but I couldn't shake the feeling that this was wrong, not because I liked him but because he could get in trouble. My thoughts slipped away as the kiss deepened and he moaned. I pulled away for a second to catch my breath and he pulled me back fiercely and moved me onto my back so that he was on top of me. He laced his fingers with mine and kissed me again. I removed one of my hands from his and started twirling his shoulder length hair between my fingers and then moved my hand onto his back digging my nails in the deeper the kiss got. We both pulled away for air and he ran his free hand down my leg and that's when I started to feel claustrophobic. I pushed at him frantically to get off of me and he did he laid next to me, from what I could see in the dark his face showed anger, as if he was angry at himself for letting this happen. I was breathing heavily and I placed my hand onto his but he pulled it away.

"I'm sorry Dimitri, I just get claustrophobic and it reminded me of something, I'm so sorry." he snickered and moved away from me.

"Roza, this is my fault, I shouldn't have done that. It was wrong of me. I'm sorry if I hurt you." I sat there frozen, he thought he had hurt me? I didn't know him as well as I ought to considering what we had just been doing but I knew he would never hurt me.

"You could never hurt me, I know that comrade. You may have started it, but did I stop it at first? No, because I wanted to kiss you." he leaned over to switch on the lamp on the table and I looked at his properly. His guardian mask had slipped into place. Great.

"Roza you can't want that it's wrong. That should never have happened and it won't happen again." I got off of the airbed and stood up. Those words made me snap. I looked down at him trying to hide the tears in my eyes. Rejection was a bitch.

"What's so wrong Dimitri! That I like you and I wanted you to do that so badly or that you couldn't help yourself because you like me too, you're just too scared to admit it? Or maybe you think it's wrong because you think I'm broken and I don't know how to feel, well I do!" he got up and walked round the sofa till he was in front of me which was kinda intimidating but I stood my ground.

"No Roza what is wrong is that I'm going to be your teacher! I can't do anything like that with you. I need to keep myself in check around you, I don't know what it is about you but you make me want to lose control Roza." his voice was gradually quieting down until he almost whispered those last words.

"Well I will make it really easy for you then comrade, whenever you think of me just remember this." with that I balled up my fist and socked him the jaw knowing that it would hurt, he wasn't prepared for it he went down onto the airbed as I marched into the bedroom locking the door behind me. I leant against the door and put my fingers to my lips feeling where his lips had brushed mine.

Its been 2 weeks since then and I moved into the academy dorms the day after that. I have only seen Dimitri in class but I always make my way out swiftly when the bell goes. I have started making friends and me and Lissa are almost inseparable. When I realised that I had a bond with her and could go into her head at random it was a little weird but if I focus really hard and put up mental walls I can usually avoid it, it does come in handy sometimes though. I had just finished my sparring class with Stan and Dimitri and I made my way to the locker room as quick as possible. I pulled my Ipod out of my bag and put it into the arm strap that I slid onto my arm. I made my way out the doors leaving everything else in my locker till later. I was welcomed by a cool breeze I pressed play on my Ipod and started running. I had started doing laps, always trying to get my time better than the last time. I had a lot to catch up on and this seemed the best way for me to do that. Every day I did this, before school and after and then after school I went into the gym too to practice my sparring. I was just passing the dorm building when I was sucked into Lissa's head. She was with Dimitri.

"I haven't seen her all day I hope she's ok. Have you seen her?" He looked down at her and smiled.

"She was in my last class. She is catching up so quickly I don't know how she's doing it. It's amazing." she gasped and it's like a little light bulb went off in her head, she knew what I was doing alright.

"She's training herself." Dimitri looked at her questioningly.

"What do you mean?" she felt proud of herself for figuring it out.

"well she gets up really early and then after school she never does anything social for about 2 hours. She does it everyday she has to be training herself." I knew where they were and it was only going to be moments before I rounded the corner where they would be able to see me, but to hell with it I was gonna carry on I had worked really hard these past 2 weeks, I had pushed the scared me away and I was making a brand new me, I was still scared sometimes but I didn't let it get the better of me I pushed it to the back of my mind and focused on what was important, catching up on what I had missed so that I could graduate with my class in the summer. It was just turning to winter so I had time to do it in.

"Well it does make sense. That shows great dedication." Dimitri looked shocked. I pulled out of her head as I was about to round the corner. I turned my Ipod all the way up and sped up as fast as I could when I turned. I knew the instant Lissa saw me and she felt proud of me because I had come so far. She started jogging after me but there was no way she could keep up with me and I was soon gone but she carried on. I got back to the locker room and pulled my things out of the locker heading over the gym. I gulped down half a bottle of water and then threw my stuff down on a bench then walked over to the training dummy picking up an imitation stake as I went. As I threw kicks and punches I let my anger out, for every time they beat me, every time they fed on me, every time they compelled me and starved me and then overfed me till I was sick, fed me blood and worst of all the time they raped me. I slumped putting my head on the dummy. I felt tears on my cheeks and then I felt her presence, they had caught up with me.

"No! I am not that girl anymore! You can't hurt me, I'm stronger now, you won't break me again!" and with that I plunged the stake into the sparring dummy I heard a loud crack and realised that I had used that much force that the stake had come out the other side. I took a step back and fell to the floor. Lissa ran over to me and knelt down beside me.

"Rose are you ok? That was amazing!" I smiled up at her as Dimitri came to stand next to her.

"I'm fine Liss, just tired. Hey comrade long time no speak." I had developed a sarcastic streak lately and I liked it. He extended his hand and helped me up.

"Now why don't you act like that in class?" neither of them had mentioned my little break down thankfully.

"Because I don't want to hurt anybody. I told you I had the skill you didn't believe me." I grabbed my water and took a long drink. Lissa hugged me then pulled away realised I had worked up a sweat and I giggled. Dimitri looked impressed.

"Lissa would you mind if I talked to Rose alone for a minute?" she looked confused but nodded anyway and walked out of the room, when he was sure he was out of earshot he continued. "you've been avoiding me, why?" I turned to pick up my bag.

"As if you don't already know comrade." I turned back to him. His eyes were glistening as he looked down at me.

"Because of what happened? Because I kissed you?" he knew, I could see it in his eyes that he knew the reason he was just playing games with me, but I was tired of this, I didn't want to avoid him anymore.

"You and I both know that isn't the reason."

"Then why?" he was pleading know, pleading for me to say what he wanted to hear from me. I took a step closer to him and stroked his cheek gently with my hand and then I stood on my tiptoes and placed a light kiss on his lips.

"Because I love you comrade."

So I know this chapter isn't that great but o well it's an update after all so I hope you enjoy. Please review so that I know what you guys think it really does help. Any ideas? Please feel free to send em my way. =]

Lisa