DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does =]

Rose's P.O.V

"Please say something. Anything." I was begging him, he had been silent for at least a minute now and I was starting to feel nauseous. After what felt like forever I thought I saw a small smile but it soon disappeared as his guardian mask returned.

"Rose you are my student, I was the first person you saw back at the academy, I understand why you would develop a crush on me, because that's all it is, a teenage crush and it will pass. But you do not love me, you do not know me Rose." I stood there willing the tears not to spring forward and ruin what I was about to say.

"I do love you Dimitri and it has nothing to do with me seeing you first! I don't know what it is about us but our souls just click, I feel it and I know you do too, this is not a silly teenage crush! I may have missed out on a hell of a lot in my life but I know how I feel and I am not a silly teenager, a silly teenager would have been killed or killed themselves to escape from it but not me. So don't you dare tell me that me feelings are something they are not!" I pushed passed him in the direction of the door but before leaving I turned around to face him he was still facing the other way. "I know you a lot better than you think Comrade." and with that I left.

Lissa had followed me back to my room, she kept questioning why I was so upset so I just told her that I had fallen asleep in class and that Dimitri had said that if it happens again she would be in trouble. She seemed to accept this answer.

"Well he does know you're doing extra training now so maybe he is trying to cut you some slack." I finished my water and threw the empty bottle into the bin.

"I guess so, it just seems like he wants be to be better than everyone else. I mean I'm trying, really I am, I'm working my butt off to catch up and I'm getting there but it's the emotional side, I'm still recovering you know, and now there's the whole thing of me being sucked into your head sometimes and I just need to get to grips with everything." she looked at me and I sat on the bed next to her.

"You know I'm here if you need me Rose, day or night. I've just got you back and you have been through so much and I'm gonna help you every step of the way, there's no getting rid of me now." her face lightened up then and she grabbed both of my hands in hers. "what are you doing tonight? Duh stupid question, you're hanging out with me. Ok so you need an outfit a really cute one." I was a little confused now and scared.

"Why do I need an outfit Liss? What are we doing?" she had gotten up and was rummaging through my closet looking for something.

"Oh this Rose, wear this!" she had picked out a blue and cream one shoulder dress with a gold design at the waist. "We're going to a party of course, it's Friday night we can't just sit and mope. We're going to dance with our friends have a good time and hopefully forget about everything else for one night. You in?" hmmm forgetting everything for one night and having a great time? Hell yeah I was in!. I nodded and went into the bathroom to shower and change while Lissa went to get ready in the moroi dorm where I would meet her later.

When we arrived the party was already in full swing I'm surprised that the teachers didn't know about it yet it was that loud I could barely hear myself think which was good because every time I did think it was either about Dimitri, or my fucked up life so right now silence in my head was welcome. There were lots of people I didn't know but I didn't care, the ones that I did know were my friends and damn it I was going to have a good time with them. Lissa grabbed some drinks from the desk that contained every drink imaginable. She handed me one and I began to drink it fairly fast. Another dhampir called Eddie, who was my friend looked shocked.

"Careful Rose, you don't wanna drink those too fast." I looked across at him questioningly and he smirked as he saw that I had already finished my drink and Lissa had handed me another one. "They are full of alcohol." I had never drank anything containing alcohol before but I knew the effects, I hadn't considered there would be alcohol here, how the hell would they get it into the academy anyway? But oh well since I had started it would be rude to stop. So I shrugged and laughed with them all. After a while I could feel that Lissa was feeling as buzzed as I was, which was very. We were both dancing in the crowd without a care in the world, whenever a guy approached we just ignored them and carried on drinking and dancing and everything was running smoothly until some royal moroi didn't like being ignored by us I guess he could take it from Lissa her being a royal as well and the last of her family name, but from a lowly dhampir like me? No way. He started yelling at me, but with the volume of the music it sounded like a whisper.

"Don't you know who I am! I'm Jesse Zeklos, I could have any girl I wanted but I decide to come and talk to you and you ignore me, I guess you are as broken as they say you are otherwise you wouldn't pass up on this opportunity!" I had stopped dancing now and turned to face him finishing my drink and handing the empty cup to Lissa I stared at him. "Yeah you heard me, some dhampir! Can't even defend herself from strigoi, how are you gonna cope when you come face to face with them in the real world? You're a joke! So what you escaped! But that just means that they are gonna be waiting for you when you graduate, heck I wouldn't want you to be my guardian knowing that. I bet you were their filthy bloodwhore, I bet you enjoyed it, begged for it even wanting them to do it again!" I was on the verge of tears now, how could he know what they had done to me? But of course he didn't, he was just guessing, he didn't know how right he was, not about me wanting it or begging for it but what they did. I held back the tears and glared at him.

"You don't know what you're talking about." I clenched my hands into fists at my sides, I was not going to lose control, not here. He shirked, knowing that he was hitting a nerve.

"Maybe not but I know a bloodwhore when I see one and that is all you are, a cheap, lowlife bloodwhore!" I was trying so hard to keep the tears from falling. I had to get out of here, I vaguely saw Lissa shouting at Jesse but I couldn't hear her, I was already making my way to the door. I got there just as the guardians turned up to shut down the party. One of them grabbed my arm but I just yanked it away and pushed passed him before he got another opportunity to grab me again. Once I was out the door and the cold air hit me I started to feel dizzy. I heard Lissa shouting after me but I couldn't face her so I ran, which wasn't easy feeling as dizzy as I was and considering I was wearing heels. I soon came to a bench and I crashed down onto it finally letting the tears slide.

I stayed there sobbing for what felt like hours and when strong arms encircled me I seemed to cry harder, I was all over the place I didn't know how to stop. I looked up into brown eyes, the eyes I loved so much. He was trying to sooth me, I didn't understand a word he was saying as it was all in Russian but it sounded nice. He never asked me what was wrong or tried to get me to talk he just sat and held me. I didn't feel the cold that was biting at my skin. After a while he helped me stand and walked me back to my dorm. Once I was In my room he laid me on my bed, just as he was about to leave I sat up.

"Dimitri, wait." he turned to face me and my heart skipped a beat because of how beautiful he was. He took a step back and sat on the edge of the bed looking at me intently. "thank you, but why?" he stared at me before looking down.

"Because you needed help. I've seen you like this and it hurts me to know that you can be fine one minute and then feel like this a minute later and there is nothing I can do about it." I took his hand in mine expecting him to pull it away but he didn't so I moved closer to him, I knew I was tempting fate but oh well.

"Don't worry about it comrade. I just lost myself for a minute there and it was hard to find my way back but I did it. I'm getting better I know I am." he looked into my eyes my heart melted.

"I know. You surprise me Rose, you have been in classes for 2 weeks now and you are already close to surpassing your classmates. You are amazing." I couldn't help but smile when he said that.

"Well you know I have been training morning and night everyday comrade. I'm used to it now, if I didn't do that extra training I don't think I would have managed it." I smiled and then I pushed on wondering where this would get me. "you think I'm amazing?" he laughed, it was the most amazing sound in the world and I would cherish it forever. Then It was like a switch was turned off in his head and his eyes showed longing.

"Oh Roza, of course I do, after everything you have been through and you still put others like Lissa first. I know what I said to you hurt you but no matter what we feel there's nothing we can do about it, so I had to say it." I opened my mouth to speak but he put his hand up to stop me. "I know what you're feeling, I know better than anyone because I feel it too, we click like you said earlier, I keep trying to fight it but I can't deny it anymore. But no matter what there can never be an us. There just can't be." he looked pained I put both of my arms around him and leant on my knees next to him.

"What are you talking about Dimitri? What are you trying to say?" he turned to face me, our faces were separated by just millimetres.

"I'm saying I'm in love with you Roza. But there is nothing I can do about it, it's not right. It's -" I cut him off as I brought my lips to his closing the gap between us. He kissed me back as one of his hands went to my neck the other to my back. I parted my lips allowing him entry and he took it allowing the kiss to deepen. Pretty soon our breathing became frantic. I didn't want this to stop, I wanted to be in his arms forever. He pushed me backwards so I was laid on my back and he ran one hand up my bare leg till it reached the hem of my dress, the way he touched me sent shivers down my spine and I wanted more of him to touch me, to never stop touching me. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled his body down to mine never once breaking the kiss. His hands were roaming everywhere. The kiss started to slow down. What was he doing? No he couldn't stop now! He pulled away and stood up.

"Roza I think it's best if we pretend that didn't happen, of any of the other guardians or teachers see anything suspicious from us we could get into serious trouble." I stood up next to him and face him.

"Comrade I love you, and I know what you're saying but I feel like we just got started and I'm not giving that up easily. We just have to be cleverer than them, make sure we don't get caught out and then when I graduate we can be a proper couple." I touched his cheek lightly and he flinched away.

"Oh Roza it's not that easy. I want this I do, but it's too risky for both of us." I chewed the inside of my lip.

"Please comrade, can't we try? I would rather have you as a friend than nothing at all." he thought about this for a second and then looked down at me, taking my hands in his.

"If you want this as bad as I do then wait, we can be friends for now, nothing more and then come graduation I'm all yours and we can be together." I sighed.

"This is as good as I'm gonna get isn't it?" he nodded at me and I smiled back at him. "Ok, well make this last till graduation then." then I gave him one last kiss trying to drag it out. When he pulled away I smiled at him. He walked towards the door and turned back.

"Goodnight Roza, oh and if I find you at another party like that I will punish you." seriously he was gonna stand there and say that? So I responded in the only way I possibly could to make him smile while still being a smartass.

"Looking forward to it comrade." he chuckled and left the room closing the door behind him. I got into my pyjamas and cleaned myself up and then snuggled into bed and I went to sleep with a smile on my face for the first time ever.

So let me know what you think guys I really really like reading your reviews, if only there were more of them =[ hope you enjoyed this chapter =]