Chapter 4
(A.N: How much do I frikken LOVE you people? This is two updates wicked close together! You guys are fortunate that I was in a very big KuroFai mood -Nod.- Also, I'm sorry that Kuro-puu was so mean last chapter! Oh! And I bumped the rating up to M, because of language…That was a mean word Kuro-tan…MEAN, MEAN, MEAN! -Scolds- Definite OOC Warning…"This means someone is talking over the phone, or intercom" "This means it's a text message." And dashes are time passing, or scene changes. You guys know the drill! Read it & Review it? Love you!)
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He would apologize to him today.
He was on his way to his French class, still feeling miserable, and loaded with ibuprofen. His head was tender on one side due to Fai's incredibly strong punch the other day. The male was so slender and frail looking…The raven hadn't been able to help it when he'd made the assumption that the blonde was weak.
Now he knew just how wrong he happened to be.
Walking into the French room, he searched the seats. Barely a soul had entered, and the blonde wasn't there yet. Maybe that was a good thing. He sat in the middle desk, in the aisle seat, down at the bottom. This way, if Fai walked in, and then ran away, he could easily catch up to him. He watched every face that entered the room.
Seishiro…Fuuma…Plenty of faces. Plenty of names - some he knew, some he didn't. But the flow of students seemed to stop, and he headed for a higher up seat, not wanting to be so close to the teacher. As he walked up the stairs, his stomach twisted uncomfortably.
Fai wasn't here.
--
He opened his eyes to the sound of his phone vibrating against the bedside table. As he lazily reached over to pick it up, he tried not to move too much. He was rather comfortable in his bed - for once. He pulled the phone over to himself, and flipped it open.
"I'll be there in an hour."
He blinked as he read the message. He read who had sent it, and read the message again. His sleep seemed to wear off as he realized who the text was from. He sat up in bed - fast. A chill ran through him due to his sudden lack of blankets. But he didn't care. He couldn't care less.
He had to get ready.
--
He'd told the group he'd bring his car around to them. He wanted to make a quick call before they went to get lunch. They didn't seem to mind, and sat around joking, while he rushed to his car. Once inside, he pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. He dialed in a number, and waited for the person on the other end to pick up the phone.
"Operator, how may I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm looking for a friend of mine…"
"Name?"
"Fai Flourite."
"One moment."
When the woman provided him with an address, he scribbled it down on the paper.
--
He was clean. Fresh from the shower and fully clothed. He checked his time. There was a mere couple of minutes left. Grabbing his cell phone and stuffing it into his pocket, he checked his room for anything that he might need. They would be taking his car - no doubt - so music was covered. Should he bring a sweater? He walked over to one of his windows, and pushed it open. There was a slight breeze, but it felt good. Shutting the window, he wandered to his closet. He should bring one, just in case. Picking out one that would work with what he was already wearing, he slung it over his arm.
He grabbed his wallet and checked to make sure he had money. He did. He closed it, and stuffed it into one of his pockets. Grabbing his car keys - which had the key to his apartment attached to them - he walked out of his apartment, locking the door behind him. He rushed to the stairs and made his way down the two flights. He was just heading out as she walked up to the doors.
Their greeting was one rather long hug.
--
If this hadn't been uncomfortable enough. Now, it was just plain awkward. He didn't want to be in this room, especially now that it meant he was going to get glared at for the entire class. An hour of hatred.
How lovely.
To his surprise, Watanuki walked in alone. The raven didn't waste much time, he pulled the shorter male aside.
"I don't know anything!" Watanuki announced as soon as Kurogane had dragged him away from the door, and out of the earshot of their peers.
"Yeah. Whatever. Look, I want to go over and apologize to him today," he saw the males expression change, and spoke before the other male could,
"I'm not asking for an address. Nor am I asking for a phone number. What I want is simple, and painless."
"…If I tell you anything, Sakura will kill me."
Kurogane sighed,
"I just need to know what classes he has, in the morning. I know he has French - we're in the same class. I want to bring over his homework, and apologize for being an idiot."
"…"
"Are you going to spontaneously combust or something?"
"N-No! I just! I…!" Watanuki sighed,
"Don't tell her that I told you. He has the same classes as you do, just reversed," Watanuki walked away, not wanting Sakura to come into the classroom to see him and the raven chatting.
--
"I've missed you!"
"I missed you too…It's been so long…" He was so happy to see her again. Too happy to explain.
"Are we going somewhere?" She looked to him with very questioning eyes.
"I'm hungry. We're getting food."
"You hate breakfast." It wasn't a question, she just knew this about him.
"I can't eat in the mornings…And it's technically not morning…"
"What is it with boys and food?" She wondered aloud, allowing him to drag her along. When they reached his car, they climbed in, and she turned her questioning eyes on him,
"Why aren't you at school?"
"I'll tell you about it when we come back." He didn't want to think about Kurogane right now. He just wanted to hang out with her.
She was an important person, after all.
--
He was finally in his car. His bag was on the seat next to him, tucked in with the homework from his classes, as well as the homework from Fai's classes. It was more note writing than it was anything else. He pulled the address out of his pocket and unfolded the piece of paper. Reading it over, he pulled out of the students parking lot.
He needed to say he was sorry. If the blonde wanted to hate him, then that was fine. He just didn't want that to be the cause of it.
--
They had finally returned to the apartment. Fai had dragged her out to eat, and then pulled her through the mall for a couple of hours. Now they were back. Now he had to talk.
"Alright. You've dodged the subject long enough." She wanted to know what was wrong.
"…I didn't go to school today, because I'm mad at someone." He hated admitting the truth.
"…Fai…That's no reason to stay home…"
"Well, it's not that simple…Sakura - you remember her."
"Of course I do, she's the one who sent me the message saying that you needed me." She grinned at this, and the blonde sighed in defeat. His friend had been looking out for him all along.
"…She introduced me to Watanuki, and I met Doumeki. I have good friends. But there's this boy, and Sakura warned me about him the very first day…He's got an anger problem. A really bad one. And he's a bit of an asshole," the blonde glared down his cell phone as he spun it around between his hands in slow circles.
"Oh?" She was prompting him for more.
"And he's in two of my classes. One in the morning, and one in the afternoon. And in my afternoon class yesterday he…" The blonde didn't want to remember. It made him angry all over again. But he'd feel better if he told her…
"He…?" She was waiting.
"He mocked my friends and I - made some stupid remark about how we're different. And then he………He called me a fag."
"…Fai…" Her voice was sad now. She knew why this would bother him. He rarely saw his Father anymore, because his Father called him the exact same thing. The word was usually said with disgust. Fai was frowned upon in his Father's eyes, for being homosexual.
As if he could control it.
"You know…I think Sakura tried to keep me away, because she knew…She just knew who I happened to be…And it made her worry…"
"What do you mean?"
"…Well…It's going to sound shallow…"
"What is?"
"…The fact that I think he's beautiful?" The blonde paused,
"Or at least I did. Until he said that."
"What does he look like?" She was curious now, as she sat on the edge of his bed.
"Tall, taller than I am. I'm probably about to his shoulders…Red eyes, tan skin, black hair - short, black hair. It's all spiked. He's always scowling…But he still looks good."
There was a buzzing noise.
"That's probably Sakura. Will you get that for me Chi? I'm going to the washroom…" He was wiping at his eyes. She nodded, understanding,
"Go ahead. I'll get the door."
--
He pressed the buzzer beside the name again - waiting. He had the backpack slung over his shoulder.
"Come on, come on…"
"Hello?"
A female? Well…That was unexpected…
"Uh…I'm looking for Fai. Did I press the wrong button?"
"You got the right one. He's in the washroom right now, washing up…Did you need something?"
"I'm here to drop off homework…I'm a friend of his, from school," he hated to lie, but he couldn't tell a stranger the truth.
"Ohh…Okay!" He heard a buzzing sound, and pulled open the door.
--
"Hey Fai?"
"Yeah?" He called, turning off the water for a moment to listen.
"What are these new friends of yours like? Watanuki and Doumeki, I mean."
"Watanuki is this short, dark haired boy. He can barely form a coherent sentence." He heard her giggle,
"And Doumeki is tall - taller than me. And he's also got dark hair, he's tan, and he's rather quiet. He and Watanuki are boyfriends, by what I understand."
"Aww how cute!"
There was a knock at the door. The blonde turned the water back on.
Chi didn't need to ask. She headed for the door, and unlocked it. She pulled it open.
Tall, tan, black hair that was spiked, red eyes, scowl…
This couldn't be good…
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"Chi? Are you okay out there?" Fai called, stepping out of the washroom. He could see her…She was staring at the doorway.
"Chi? What is it? What's the matter?" He reached out, touching her shoulder. He turned his head to see what was bothering her.
"…"
"Fai, I'm sorry!" Chi announced, snapping out of her trance,
"I didn't mean to let him in! I thought he might've been one of your friends!"
"I'm not mad at you, Chi." He fixed a glare on the raven,
"What are you doing here? Why are you in my house?"
"I came to bring you your homework…And I wanted to apologize…"
"Why bother? I thought you didn't associate with fags."
"…I know it was a bad thing to say. I shouldn't have used that word…I'm sorry…"
"Whatever. Get out. I don't want you here."
"I don't blame you for being mad at me. I shouldn't have used that term. I hate that word myself…"
"Yeah, you look real torn up about it," Fai snapped, walking away from his doorway. He began to sift through his shopping bags that he'd filled with a few groceries, and a bunch of art supplies.
"Listen, I'm being serious. I--"
"Didn't I tell you to leave? Thank you for coming to drop off the work, but from now on, don't bother. I don't like people like you. Ignorant people who don't think before they open their mouths."
He pulled out a few cans, and headed into his kitchen to put them away. Chi seemed to melt back into the blondes room, sitting herself on the edge of his bed once more.
"That's why I came to say that I'm sorry!" Kurogane announced, frustrated.
"Don't yell at me!" Fai announced, walking back out into the main area of his small home,
"Go back out the way you came in. I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear your voice. I want nothing to do with you."
"I'm just trying to…"
"I don't care. Leave me alone."
The raven had dropped the bag, and his shoes were off already. He followed Fai as the male returned to the kitchen to put away more cans.
"I'm serious, okay? I'm sorry. I don't know you, so I shouldn't have said it. And even if I did know you, I still shouldn't have said it. And I do hate the word. My cousin is homosexual. So that means I'm a hypocrite for calling you that…"
The blonde sighed.
"Please…If you want to hate me, that's fine. I just don't want it to happen because of something that I said - especially when it was that."
"Fai…Listen to him…He feels really bad. I can see it," Chi's voice sounded from the kitchen doorway. The blonde sighed again, turning around to face the raven. He was a bit surprised when he fixed his gaze on the males face. The ever present scowl had let up a bit, and the raven really did look sorry. Fai turned himself back around, his back to the male.
"Get out of my kitchen. You don't have to leave the apartment, just leave the room. Give me a little time here," the blonde muttered, gripping his counter. Kurogane didn't answer, but he complied. Chi followed him back to the main room, plopping down on Fai's bed. To most, it seemed like an odd place, to have your bed in the middle of the room. But when you thought about it, Fai had planned his small home out rather well. With the bed being in the middle of the room, you could come home, and plop down onto the bed. If you were sick, you could see the television from the bed easily. And the bathroom and kitchen weren't as far away if you just sat on the bed.
Kurogane headed for the door, and crouched down to his backpack. He began riffling through it. Chi watched him, curious.
"Are you going home?"
"I'm getting out the work."
"It was nice of you to bring it over for him. But why would you have called him such a terrible word when you don't even know him?" That made her wonder. She'd never seen something like that happen before.
"…I was trying to get him to keep away. The Principal of our school keeps telling me to meet new people. To become friends with new people. But my own group of friends is rather…Well, one member in particular is a real idiot. He acts like he's a touch guy, but he's not. Not really anyway."
"I don't understand…Why would you…?"
"…I'm not a good guy. I used to be, but I'm not anymore. Things changed, and so did I…And I don't think I'm the type of person Fai wants to be around. If he got to knowing me, he'd learn that for himself."
"But you won't let him try to know you?"
"Believe me, he really doesn't want to. Besides…My friends and I tend to stick to the group. No one comes in without a trial, and it's rare that someone is cast out. We're a bunch of trouble. We have been for a while now."
"Shouldn't that make you want to meet new people?"
"…" In truth, Kurogane wouldn't mind knowing Fai. Having someone outside of the trouble that he could talk to. Maybe he could trust him in the way that he trusted Syaoran.
Or maybe he would be an asshole and hurt the blonde so badly that he'd hate him forever.
"You worry, don't you?" Chi questioned, knowingly,
"A part of you wants to know him. But…You're afraid to try. If you get to close, you might just end up hurting him. You're aware of your anger problem…And you don't want to hurt him because you got too mad." She paused, and smiled,
"Am I right?"
"…" The raven looked to her, dumbfounded.
"I thought so. You don't need to worry so much. You can't live your life on what if's and maybes. If you never try something, then how do you know that it couldn't work out?"
The blonde had worked his way back into the kitchen doorway, and was leaning against it now.
"Besides…Fai is a good guy. He always has been. He was there for me whenever I needed him…He was there for Sakura whenever she needed him…He takes care of everyone. It's what he does. He's just too loving for his own good." Chi's smile was sad,
"He can be difficult to understand sometimes. But everyone can be."
Kurogane was still watching her. She seemed to know so much about Fai, and life in general. She was protective of him, and that was clear.
"I think…" She continued, snapping his from his reverie,
"That you two should get to know one another. Give each other a chance. Whatever happens, happ--"
"Happens. You'll know the reason sooner or later," someone else finished the quote, sighing.
"You really are her daughter, aren't you? Using her quotes and everything."
Kurogane looked to the kitchen doorway, where Fai was standing. Chi smiled,
"Of course. She was so smart and kind…And musical, of course. You're so much like her yourself, Fai…"
"Are you calling me a girl?" He teased, stepping into the room. Chi giggled, and turned her eyes to the raven on the floor for a moment, before she looked back to the blonde. She raised her eyebrows, hinting. Fai turned his attention to Kurogane, and approached him carefully. When he was standing before him, he offered out a small -slightly guilty looking- smile.
"How's your head?"
"It's fine," the raven mumbled, looking away. He was still feeling ashamed of himself for having said the word. Fai sighed, and reached out a hand. Gently, he ran his hand across the top of Kurogane's head, his fingers sliding through his hair along the way. He found it strange, that the males hair was so soft, when it was spiky…How weird, that it stood up like that naturally. How cute…
"Wow, I must have hit you hard…It's a little swollen…" Fai murmured, surprised,
"I'm sorry." He didn't know his own strength sometimes…
"I said it's fine," the raven mumbled again,
"…Why are your hands so cold?"
"I don't know…They've always been this way," the blonde answered,
"Bothering you?"
"…No…Numbs the swelling…Feelskindofgood," he pressed the rest of it together, out of embarrassment for having to admit to it. Fai's hand continued to glide along the top of his head, cooling one area, and moving along to the next.
"Must be hard to believe some of the things Chi was saying…Especially after I punched you…"
"Deserved it," Kurogane answered, still looking kind of guilty.
"I just really hate that word. My Father calls me that all the time." This threw Kurogane off, so he turned his eyes back to the blonde, who wore a small, sad smile.
"He hates me for who I am. He thinks I chose to be…Well, you know. I didn't chose this. I wouldn't have chosen to be different, and to have people hate me for…" Fai stopped his hand movement, and pulled himself away - gently.
"Sorry. I'm babbling away about nothing."
Kurogane caught the males wrist,
"That's not nothing…I-I didn't know…I'm sorry…"
"…Please don't make that face," Fai pleaded, placing his free hand in the males hair, cooling the swollen area on his head once more,
"You look like a kicked puppy…"
Kurogane tried to relax. Slowly, he released the blondes wrist and watched as the male sighed, and headed for the direction of the kitchen. As Fai began to scrounge his cupboards, he fell into his habit, and began to hum. The raven recognized the song.
"What is that?"
"Hm?" The blonde paused in what he was doing and looked to the male.
"The song…What is it?"
Fai smiled,
"Something I wrote a long time ago. It's called Only Hope…" The blonde began searching his cupboards again,
"Tea, or coffee?"
"He's asking you," Chi informed the raven,
"He knows me too well."
"Coffee," Kurogane finally managed to answer.
"Alright," Fai's voice answered him. The male remained in the kitchen for a while. They could hear him humming away…He was around a corner, so they couldn't see him. The minutes passed and silence seemed to take over. The kettle began to whistle. It screamed. It didn't seem to want to stop…
"Fai? The kettle is going off…" Chii called.
No answer.
"Fai? The kettle is…" She stood, looking a bit panicked,
"F-Fai?" She hurried around the corner, into the kitchen,
"Oh no! Fai?! FAI!" She took the kettle off of the stove, and moved it over to another area - quickly. Then she crouched beside the blonde,
"FAI! Open your eyes!"
Kurogane had gotten up, and was working his way to the kitchen. He was getting scared. Chi sounded terrified…As he rounded the corner, he understood why.
Fai had collapsed.
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(A.N: I felt bad that Kurogane had been such a jerk, and Kurogane felt bad about it too! But oh, what is this? Of course my fanfic couldn't be all rainbows and butterflies…You guys know me better than THAT by now of course. Something is wrong with Fai. Why? Because I'm a twisted soul, and you people love me -Nod.- I love you guys, I really do…So please R&R?)