Chapter 6
(A.N: Hey guys! I'm updating again! Sorry about my other fan fictions and their current lack-of-updating. Oops. But I had this in my head, and I thought you guys would enjoy it. I went to see Valentine's Day, so I was in a very lovey-dovey type of mood…By the way, it was a GOOD MOVIE, in case you were wondering. Also, I recommend the song Today was a Fairytale by Taylor Swift. Definitely cute. MAJOR OOC WARNING.This means singing. (THERE MAY SOME MOMENTS WHERE I BOLD AND ITALIC A THOUGHT - BUT YOU'LL KNOW IT'S A THOUGHT). Dashes are scene changes or time passing - you guys know the drill! R&R? Appreciate it!)
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He should have known that - even though his action had not been a choice - there would still be consequences to face.
"Why did you ride to school with him?" She was still demanding an answer, and no matter how many times he assured her that it hadn't meant anything, and that the raven had given him the ride because his tires happened to be better than the ones on his own car happened to be…She wouldn't listen. Watanuki didn't really seem mad, just confused. He and Doumeki stood off to the side. They watched their friends, as the blonde grew desperate, and Sakura grew frustrated.
"It was Chi's fault though!" Fai protested,
"She made him stay with me last night!"
"…" Sakura didn't speak. Her eyes were wild, and her brow furrowed deeply.
"…Oh…" He hadn't meant to blurt that out. But there was no taking it back now…
"He…Stayed…WHERE?!"
Fai raised his hands, palms out to his friend, as if he was surrendering. He tried to laugh it off, but the sound was nervous and it didn't come out the way he'd hoped it would.
He was so dead.
"FAI D. FLOURITE! YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT KUROGANE SUWA STAYED AT YOUR HOUSE?!"
"It was no big deal…" He tried to wave it off, but his friend was fuming. Watanuki sighed and shook his head from side to side. Sometimes Sakura was so irrational that it shocked him. Part of him felt bad for Fai…Another part of him was glad that he himself wasn't in the blondes shoes. A hand touched his left shoulder, and he turned to face Doumeki. But the taller, tan male wasn't facing him. He was looking off down the nearly vacant hallway.
Oh no…
"Do we warn them?" Watanuki wondered aloud, and Doumeki faced him. The male turned his attention to Sakura for a moment, and then he looked to his boyfriend once more,
"If you want to get into the middle of that, be my guest."
Watanuki didn't move towards them. He knew that was a dangerous idea, so he just turned to look at the approaching raven, unsure of whether or not he should be saying anything. He doubted Sakura would hear him over her rage anyways.
When Kurogane had entered her peripheral vision, she finally released Fai from her death glare and instead fixed it on the raven. He noticed her expression. He just didn't appear to care.
"Your boyfriend is coming," Sakura growled. The blonde flushed at the mere idea behind her words, and cleared his throat.
"He isn't…He's not…We're not, uh…"
"Ooi."
Fai turned to look at the male.
"Uh…" He cleared his throat,
"I'm still driving you home, right?"
The blonde nodded silently.
"Fai…" Sakura's voice was dripping with venom from behind him.
--
The blonde was sitting at a piano, with his friend standing beside him, watching him like a hawk. She kept trying to speak to him, but every time she tried to make him sound like some sort of criminal…He started playing songs. Finally, she became fed up with trying and went to sit with Watanuki.
"Aren't you being a little hard on him?" The male wondered, glancing at his emerald eyed companion, who shook her head vehemently.
"You don't know Fai the way I do. He's going to become addicted too quickly…And Kurogane is going to tear his heart out of his chest when he lets him know he has no interest in being with him…" Her glare softened, and her features turned sad,
"Am I selfish for wanting to protect him?"
"Well…No…I don't think you're being selfish Sakura…I think…I think you're going about it the wrong way, that's all. I mean, I know you don't want Fai to get hurt…But, wouldn't you rather that he learned his lesson on his own? I mean! If you keep on pushing him now, he's just going to shove away from you more and more. However, if you let him figure things out for himself, and he ends up heartbroken…Well, it seems only natural that - as his best friend - you would be the person he turned to."
"I don't want him involved with someone like…"
"Sakura…" Watanuki shook his head from side to side, slowly,
"He's a big boy. He can handle himself…"
"But what if they do fall for each other?!"
"Well…There's only one quote I can think of to answer your question with; Whatever happens, happens."
Sakura sighed. There was a melody of piano notes drifting throughout the classroom, and the emerald eyed girl couldn't help but watch the blonde as he played. The music always seemed to be so sad. But, she guessed she couldn't blame him. He had lost two very important people in his life…And now he only had one relative left. Well…Only one who cared about him anyways. He had another member to his family…But he stayed away from him.
As the tones rang out, and their peers flooded out the door and the next group came in, Sakura braced herself. She knew Kurogane was going to be among this group, and something about him made her stomach go raw. But it was most likely the fact that her best friend was in the raven's stupid gang…
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He entered the room quietly, and dumped his bag against the wall. He was surprised to find that he was going unnoticed by Fai's crazed female companion who seemed to hate him with every fiber of her being…
Not wasting his time, he approached the blonde, who was finishing a song on the piano. When he reached him, the blue eyes focused on him almost instantly. It was shocking…The male seemed so aware of his presence…
"Uh…Hey," the raven mumbled slightly awkwardly. He didn't know how to make conversation too well in front of people he didn't know, and / or didn't like. In this case, that would be pretty much everyone in this room…Excluding the blonde.
"Hello," Fai's voice greeted him easily, and the male smiled a bit. He was clearly trying to be of some comfort. Kurogane cleared his throat,
"I uh…I was wondering if you could give me a hand with some work…"
"French is just not your thing, is it?" Fai chided, standing.
The raven shrugged, trying not to focus on the blonde too much. He wasn't trying to be ignorant. He was just really lost in his thoughts at the moment. He had heard things. Things he was sure he wasn't supposed to hear. As the lithe blonde followed alongside him to the wall where he'd dropped his bag, he tried not to look at him. When they sat down beside each other, the raven pulled out his homework and flipped it open to the page he'd been trying to work on. The blonde looked down to the page, reading in silence.
He couldn't help but notice things about the male.
His hair was medium length, and a beautiful shade of blonde…His skin was pale and cold to the touch…It was almost as if he'd been carved out of ice…The male was also tall - though not nearly as tall he himself happened to be. Lithe, slender…
And his eyes. The raven was sure he could say hundreds of things about the blonde males eyes. They were a brilliant shade of blue. Focused on you when you spoke, and held more secrets then the beholder would dare to utter. They made him all the more captivating.
But there was a lot more than just his appearance.
Kurogane was beginning to see that the male had a rather endearing personality. He was sensitive, but sometimes, he brushed it off, as if it didn't phase him. Even though it did. He kept things to himself as well, most likely out of fear. But he was almost…Magical. He had a voice like an angel, and he played piano well enough to bring his audience to tears. He was artistic and hard to understand at times, but the raven was working him out. Breaking down the things he did and creating mental notes as he went.
"Kuro-rin?" A cool finger poked the side of his forehead,
"You went off to another world…It's no wonder you're failing math," the blonde teased.
The tan male blinked in confusion, and turned his head to face the male. He knew he couldn't have dreamt this figure into life. He wasn't a strange part of his imagination. Fai was a real person that the raven knew…
And he knew the male was dying.
"I uh…Sorry," he muttered, looking back down to his page. The blonde smiled, and pointed to the words the male had been confused about,
"The teacher is trying to give you a hint."
"What does it say?"
Fai spoke the sentence in French, then giggled - Kurogane added that to his mental list of reasons behind his fascination with the male.
"It says; Get a tutor."
--
They pulled out of the student parking lot.
"Your friends didn't look too happy about me being in your car," the blonde noted, looking guilty.
"Tough," Kurogane answered, shrugging. Fai's guilt eased out of his face, and he smiled a little timidly,
"You never play music when we're in the car together. I noticed. If you're worried about whether or not I'll like it, then you should know by now that it will be nearly impossible for you to find a song that I hate."
Kurogane sighed,
"It's off because the last person I was in the car with was Tomoyo. I have no idea what station she left it on either…She's such a pain."
Fai didn't answer. He kept on smiling, but his heart had sunk down into his stomach. And now his stomach acids were slowly but gradually burning it up into a nothingness. The process was nearly a physical pain…
Tomoyo.
A girls name.
Kurogane reached out, and turned on the music. He wasn't surprised to hear some girl singing about some guy and how totally in love she'd been with him until he ripped her heart out. He sighed, and changed the station.
Another girl, singing about a guy. He remembered this song, he'd heard it on the radio numerous times before. He was going to change the station again when he realized that there was another voice singing the words - though this voice was a lot quieter.
"My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing;
You cut me open;
And I, keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding, love;
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding, love;
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding, love;
You cut me open…"
Realizing that he was singing along, the blonde paused. He cleared his throat,
"You can change it now, if you want. I think I spend too much time with my sister," he kept his eyes locked on the passenger side window. He was staring out at nothing.
"…Something tells me your sister wasn't the one to get you into the song," the raven answered, changing the station.
"…What do you mean?"
"I'm saying that I think you're using your sister as reason to be listening to break up music."
The blonde didn't answer. He just kept staring out at the nothingness. He was a little surprised when the nothingness became a familiar apartment building. He knew this place.
He lived here.
His live-in studio.
A new wave of sadness washed over him. The waves hit him, choked him, took away his air. Threatened to drown him.
"You okay?" Kurogane's voice was nearby, and he almost sounded concerned. Almost. But not quite.
"Fai?" There, a spark of concern…A little worry…
"Ooi! Fai! What's the matter?!" There it was. The panic. He wasn't speaking, so the raven now assumed the worst. The male exited the car and appeared at the blondes door, ripping it open. He unbuckled his seat belt and took hold of his shoulders,
"Fai? What's wrong?" Gentler this time…Lulling…
He was only half conscious at the moment. His mind wasn't currently where it should be. It was out of his head - probably on its way down his body, to cover for his heart, seeing as his heart had fallen into his stomach and all.
"…Fai…" Tender now. The scowl was light and barely visible. The raven looked worried, but he also looked confused. Sighing, he picked up the blondes messenger bag, and slung it over his shoulder. With this completed, he very carefully lifted the blonde out of the car - bridal style. He kicked the car door shut and carried the male to the main building. The blonde had his key in a trembling hand, and Kurogane easily shifted the male to be held in one arm, so that he could take the key and unlock the door. He carried him up two flights of stairs and to his apartment. He unlocked the door, gently placed Fai down on the bed, dropped the males bag on the couch, and went to the window. Pulling out his car keys, he aimed at his car, and saw the lights flash when he hit the button. Locked up. He returned to the blondes bedside and pulled up the same chair as last time, sitting down.
He waited.
But nothing was being said.
"Fai…"
"I--!" He wiped his eyes with his sleeve,
"I'm sorry!" He tried to laugh,
"I'm acting like a real idiot!"
The raven didn't speak. He reached out and placed his hand over the back of one of the blondes hands. Sighing, he allowed himself to talk,
"You're right about one thing. You are being an idiot. But the reason you're being an idiot…Well…" He paused for a moment,
"Look. If this has something to do with Tomoyo -" Fai's hand clenched into a little bit of a fist under Kurogane's palm,
" - Then you really are being an idiot." Fai tried to move himself away, feeling idiotic enough for allowing himself to cry in front of the raven. But the male held onto his hand…
"Listen…She's not only a lesbian…" Confusion swept over the blondes face.
"But she's also my cousin."
"…Oh…"
Wait…If Kurogane was talking about this with him…Then he knew that the blonde had been crying because he thought he should surrender now, considering he didn't stand a chance with the raven…So didn't that mean that…He knew? But that was impossible! He hadn't let him know…And he didn't think Chi would have told him directly…Sakura definitely wouldn't have said anything either…
…Unless he'd overheard things he wasn't meant to hear…
"I'm fine," the blonde finally announced, trying to sound reassuring. But the look on the raven's face told him that he wasn't buying it. The male reached up, and gently wiped away the blondes tears - wordlessly. Fai's heart thundered in his chest. He wasn't sure when it had returned to his chest, but he knew that it was sitting on a very thin line - which felt as though it was made of barbed wire - unsure of whether or not it should drop back into his stomach.
"Crying doesn't seem fine to me…" Kurogane murmured. He wasn't even sure what he was doing. He was never physical with anyone - ever. Unless they were getting their ass kicked…
He also never cared for anyone crying. He cared about Tomoyo, but she was his family, so that was different. Sure, he cared about his friends - especially Syaoran, because he was his best friend - but he never really tried to comfort them when they were down. He just told them that whatever had happened, had happened for a reason. He was never sure what the reason was though. But with the blonde…He felt like he needed to comfort him…
Fai couldn't speak. He couldn't find the words he wanted to say. All he could do was watch as the male before him spoke and actually appeared to give a damn about him…
It was mystifying…
"Listen…" Kurogane's voice broke their silence, and the blonde nodded once, to show that he was paying attention.
"I've uh…I've heard a few things…"
"…"
"I mean…I didn't try to, or anything…It just kind of turned out that way…"
"……I'm sorry……" Fai whispered, looking away. His chest hurt. He imagined that thin line his heart was balancing on, was now slowly beginning to slice through it.
"I never…I never intended to act on it though…I mean…I was satisfied with simply talking to you…You're not as bad as Sakura seems to think you are…You're just sort of…Lost…" He paused, biting his lip to keep from crying again,
"You hang out with the wrong crowd…Syaoran is a good kid - I know him. You're both trying to be people that you aren't…But I don't understand why."
"…"
"I'm rambling, sorry."
"…It's okay."
"…What did you hear?"
"…" He didn't know if he should tell him everything that he had heard. Clearing his throat he spoke up,
"Uh…Well, your sister said something that made me kind of suspicious…You two mentioned me staying at your apartment, and she said something about you having discussed the topic already…"
"We! We didn't talk about me staying with you…We just talked about…" The male blushed and shut himself up. With no further signs of speaking, Kurogane sighed,
"…And then Sakura called me something, and you panicked."
"…" The blush deepened. Sakura had referred to the raven as Fai's boyfriend. She hadn't said it kindly, either. That cut in his heart was slowly getting deeper and deeper…His heart was going to fall to his stomach again - in two pieces this time. He wondered if that meant that the stomach acids would hurt twice as much…
"Listen…"
He flinched slightly, suddenly terrified. He knew what was about to happen, but he couldn't do anything to stop it from happening. He wouldn't bother with trying to, either. He didn't want to fight, or beg. He didn't want to seem anymore pathetic than he already felt.
"…I'm not good with this whole…Kindness, thing…" Kurogane spoke gently. He had moved his hands away from the blonde, but he felt like he wanted to reach out and touch him…Hold his hand…Something, anything. As long as the male would be comforted.
"But you're right." Fai looked to him, confused.
"I do hang out with the wrong crowd, but that excludes Syaoran. Your friend seems to think that I started this gang, but that's not true. Ryuuoh started it. He isn't the guy I remember anymore. He thinks he's tough." He sighed, shaking his head from side to side,
"That's off topic. I was trying to say something else. I'm…I'm not sure how to be a good guy. I don't look out for anyone, except for my cousin, and Syaoran, and even then, it's limited. But with…" He paused, feeling kind of embarrassed for having to admit to it,
"Butwithyouit'sdifferent."
Fai's cheeks burned, and his heart - which had grabbed on to a thread of hope - pulled itself back up a little, pulling off of the line of barbed wire it had been falling against only moments ago. He had never seen the raven looking shy…It was adorable.
"It's…It's like I feel as though I should be…" He sighed again,
"I feel like I should be watching over you. No one ever gets close to me, and I don't pay attention to people who cry. But you…I feel like I'd be willing to kick the ass of anyone who dared to harass you. I feel like I want to be able to comfort you - though right now I'm not showing it…And you were worried, about what I would think, and what I would say."
"…"
"…But you were ready. You knew that if I rejected you, then you would have to accept it, and deal. You knew it would kill you inside…But you were prepared for that."
Fai struggled to keep his breathing even. Now would not be a good time to hyperventilate. But the raven was saying the sweetest of things…And showing him that he might actually mean something…The blonde took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. He managed to stand up, and wandered to his window.
"You just keep on luring me in," Kurogane admitted, standing up. He made his way to the window, slowly,
"And I've realized…That I don't give a damn what my friends may think about the people I choose to spend my time around. And that I don't care what they say about the person I choose to be around the most."
"…The person you choose to be around the most…" Fai murmured, before turning to face the raven - who was a lot closer than he'd thought he would be. He stammered incoherently for a moment, before he swallowed down his nervousness,
"…So what are you telling me?" His voice came out in a whisper, and Kurogane held his gaze.
"…I'm telling you that, I might kiss you."
"…I might be bad at it," Fai's voice told him, sounding surprised and apprehensive.
He was surprised when the raven reached out one hand, and pressed it to the wall. And even more surprised when the male reached out with his other hand, to brush his fingers across the males cheek. For the first time, Fai was aware of the fact that - though he seemed tough around the edges - Kurogane was soft. His skin was smooth, and soft against the blondes cheek. When the raven rested his palm against his cheek, a small smile crossed his features, and Fai stared.
"That's not, possible," Kurogane half-chided. Fai's lips had parted in his surprise of the ravens level of intimacy.
And Kurogane wasn't going to waste an opportunity.
Leaning his head down, he allowed his own lips to brush against the those of the blonde before him. Fai was met with an overwhelming feeling. It swept through him from head to toe in a matter of seconds. He wasn't sure when this had happened either, but, his heart had returned to its proper place, and was now viciously pounding against his chest, as his lips reacted to Kurogane's kiss.
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(A.N: Okay guys! DONE! Yeah, sorry if you totally hate Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, but I'm a recent addict to the song - I used to hate it too. Anyways, I have worked hard on this chapter, so I hope you all enjoyed it. And Fai is so magical! -Throws sparkles- -Facepalm- Okay, time for me to shut-up now. -Nod- R&R? Love you guys!)