Chapter 8
(A.N: Alright, I don't know if everyone actually caught what was happening last chapter. If you have seen the tattoo that Fai has on his back -in the anime, or whatever- then I'll inform you now…The scars on his back, are in the design of that tattoo…Which is why he's getting the tattoo…Make sense? Also…Woo hoo! An update! Rah! It's almost 6 am…I definitely love you guys. OOC WARNING. BOLDED WORDS WILL BE PEOPLE SPEAKING FRENCH! Dashes are scene changes or time passing. You guys know the drill. R&R?)
--
"Watanuki-kun!" He wasn't sure why he was adding on to the males name…Perhaps it was because he'd spent the weekend around a certain Japanese speaking, raven haired, glorious, beautiful…
Dammit, he was doing it again.
"Fai?" The shorter male questioned, seeing his friends obvious state of blissfulness. He eyed him curiously, taking in the smile, the bright eyes, the aura of happiness…
"How are you this morning?" The blonde asked, still grinning.
"I uh…Fine. Uh…Fai?"
"Hmm?"
"…Did something happen with Kurogane?" There was a knowing look set on Watanuki's face, and the blonde haired male in question, paused. He let himself slowly climb down from his high throne and sighed,
"Watanuki-kun…"
"I don't mind, so don't get me wrong…"
"You don't?"
The raven haired male shook his head from side to side,
"Kurogane and I don't really have any issues with one another. I mean, he's never done anything to make me mad…And I stay out of his way. However…Sakura is going to kill you."
Fai fidgeted. He smiled a mischievous, little smile, and looked back to Watanuki. Said male began to look rather concerned by the expression on Fai's face.
"What Sakura doesn't know, can't hurt her…" The blonde suggested, still fidgeting. Watanuki sighed, exasperated,
"She'll find out though. And hiding it will do you no good! She'll just go into a rage when she learns you kept it a secret from her."
"…I really have to explain it to her?"
"You don't have a choice. Besides, people are bound to start noticing if there's something going on between you and Kurogane."
"…" Fai hadn't thought of that. Would that really be okay? The ravens friends were very obviously not fond of him. When Kurogane had given him a ride home on Thursday, all of the ravens friends - excluding Syaoran - had been glaring at him as he'd sat in the car. And was there really something going on? He knew how he felt about the raven…But the male had never said the words the blonde had so desperately wanted to hear. Of course, maybe it was better if he never did hear him say it…
"Watanuki-kun?"
"Yes?"
"I…I'd like to keep this all a secret…Not permanently, of course. But…Just, for now. At least until I know for sure what's going on myself. You see…I'm not even sure at this point…"
The male sighed, but he nodded,
"Fine…But you can't keep it a secret for long."
--
He was apprehensive upon entering his French class, but was happy to see that the raven hadn't found his way into the room yet. Good. Fai made his way to the middle section and sat down in the same place that he'd sat on his first day. It was the same place he sat everyday. The same area. He was trying to come up with a way to distract himself, by flipping open his books, but it turned out to be unnecessary. Someone appeared at his left side, and sat up on the desk.
"Hey Fai."
Hearing his name, the blonde turned his head. It was Fuuma, from Auto. He smiled and turned himself completely to face the male.
"Morning," he answered simply.
"How're you liking the school so far?"
"Hmm…It hasn't been long enough for me to give it much of a verdict, but I'd say that so far, I like it."
"I hear you have math with my brother, Seishiro."
"I do. He's a bit…Unusual," Fai shrugged for a lack of better words.
Fuuma laughed,
"Well, at least I'm not the only one who thinks so." The blonde giggled in response.
"So…I've heard rumor that you're a singer," the dark haired male continued,
"And that you play the piano as well."
"Yes, that's true. I do sing, and I am a pianist. My Mother taught me before she…" He paused,
"Before she passed away."
"…I'm sorry to hear that…But she did leave you with quite the gift," the male was trying to lighten to conversation. The blonde smiled a little. He didn't know what to say.
"I was wondering if you'd mind terribly if I came down to the Arts Hall during one of my spares…I wouldn't mind hearing you play, or sing, or something…The kids in this school are saying you're brilliant. Word travels pretty fast around here."
The last line hit the blonde like a slap in the face.
"Word travels pretty fast around here."
Oh please, let it just be a figure of speech.
"I don't mind," he finally answered, grinning,
"I just hope I live up to what these kids say."
--
The two were laughing when he entered the room. Neither noticed him as he came up the stairs and through the row to sit down on the blondes right. Fai was absorbed in conversation with Fuuma. His body was aimed at him, his eyes were focused, and he was laughing away about whatever had just been said. Fuuma, in turn, was sitting on the desk to the left of the blonde, smiling, laughing, having a grand old time with him, apparently.
The raven glared.
Didn't Fuuma have something going with Kamui? Didn't he himself have something going with Fai? This was going to become a territorial battle at the rate he was going…
The dark haired male noticed the red eyed raven who was glaring at him.
"I think the room just got a little colder," he joked.
Fai was confused, until he turned his head.
Oh shit.
When had Kurogane gotten to his seat? Why hadn't the blonde even noticed? Oh, he was in so much trouble now, he could feel it…
"Class is about to start," Fuuma announced, slipping off the table,
"See you later Fai!" He hurried off to his seat. The blonde turned his body to aim the front of the room. He was nervous now. He didn't know how Kurogane really felt…Since he'd never actually told him…Well, he had explained that the blonde was a rare exception in the ravens world. He was the first one to get close to the male, and the only one he felt like he should comfort. So that was saying something…
"Ooi."
He looked. Dammit.
"Yes?" He was trying to keep his voice even, but the ravens eyes were…
"What were you two talking about?"
"Nothing really, why?"
"If it's nothing, then why don't you tell me what you were talking about?"
"Because it wasn't anything important…" This was a little irritating. It was still early, and it was a Monday too. Fai hated Mondays. It was the day you had to come back to school after being off for the weekend. Worst day of the week.
"So if it was nothing, then why are you being so secretive about it?"
"I'm not being secretive!"
"Mr. Flourite!"
Fai looked. His teacher had apparently started the lesson, and the blondes little outburst had interrupted his class. There were eyes on him, coming from every direction. He was unintentionally the center of attention. Dammit.
"Sorry, sir," Fai apologized, feeling embarrassed.
"Something you care to share with the class, Mr. Flourite?"
"…No sir."
"Good. Mr. Suwa?"
"Uh…Yeah?"
"Perhaps you wouldn't mind saving your conversation until lunch hour? Some people in this class are actually trying to learn."
--
He was out that door faster than he usually would have been. He needed somewhere to hide. Needed to find his friends. Sakura might be able to chase Kurogane off…
He was running through the halls - technically it was against school rules - but the teachers apparently didn't notice, or didn't care. Because they were letting him get away with it…
"Ooi!"
Or maybe it was because he was currently being hunted…
He could see Doumeki, who was watching him in confusion, and when Fai allowed himself to look down slightly, he saw Watanuki - who was staring at him wide eyed. Sakura was just exiting the room nearest the two previously mentioned males, and when she saw chaos coming directly for them…
Her arms crossed over her chest, and she glared. Fai rushed behind his wall of friends, panting. The raven who'd been following him stopped running, and panted from the unexpected exercise,
"What…The hell…Fai?" He managed to breathe. Sakura grabbed the blondes wrist and hauled him into the room she'd just walked out of. Fai didn't understand until he saw stalls, and sinks, and could smell perfume.
"Sakura-chan!" He announced as she glared up at him. She ignored the addition to her name,
"What is going on with you and Suwa?!"
"…"
"Well?"
He wished there were some way out of this scenario, but the emerald eyed girl was staring him down, and he knew he had to either give in, or suffer severe consequences.
"…To be honest, Sakura-chan, I don't even know what's happening myself. I mean…He's said things - good things…And I think he likes me as more than a friend…I just…I'm not sure what I am to him."
She sighed, shaking her head from side to side,
"So…Do I lose you to him as well?"
"No! I would never stop talking to you because of him…And…That stupid gang wasn't even his idea. It was Ryuuoh's."
"Ryuuoh?"
Fai nodded. He watched the expression on Sakura's face change a little bit,
"…Oh…"
"Ooi! You're not supposed to be in there!"
"Oh let him be, Suwa!" Sakura hollered,
"We're talking!"
"…"
"It's probably better if nothing is going on," Fai finally decided,
"No one is supposed to fall for me…Remember?" His eyes were sad, and his voice was very far away.
--
The raven heard the words and once they'd been said, he knew the blonde couldn't - and likely wouldn't - take them back. Grunting in disbelief, he stalked off, angry. He was such a fool. A fool for thinking that he could mean something special to this blue eyed idiot. An idiot himself for trying so hard to be good…
He rounded a corner, and continued down the hall. He didn't stop until he'd found Syaoran. He grumbled to him that they should go get food, and the brunette nodded. He knew something was wrong, but he also knew that the raven didn't want to talk about it. Not here, not now. Within no time, he'd rounded up his gang, and they were in his car. Syaoran got the front passenger seat, with Ryuuoh sitting behind him. And in the back, Shogo and Primera were snuggled up together.
"So, Kurogane," Ryuuoh spoke out, and the raven braced himself for the worst.
"What were you doing with lover boy?"
"Lover boy?"
"Blondie," Ryuuoh shrugged, smirking.
"Che. Nothing. Why?"
"'Cause Fuuma thinks you're mad at him. Apparently, he was talking to lover boy…And he caught you glaring him down."
"Fuuma makes shit up, you know that."
Syaoran looked to the raven. He could tell that something had been going on with Kurogane and Fai…And now he was denying everything…
"So…Nothing was going on with lover boy then?" Ryuuoh questioned, slightly doubtful.
"Che. Never happened."
--
Bolded words will be lyrics from now on, so you know!
--
Coming back from lunch, Fai - flanked by Sakura and Watanuki - entered the Arts Hall. He could handle the first half of all this just fine. It would be next period that would bother him.
As they entered the last door on the left, a bunch of students glanced at Fai. But as he sat down on the ground, brooding, they began to look away. He didn't feel much like singing…Or playing the piano. Maybe he should play the guitar…That was a good instrument to focus on, after all. But…It made him think about his brother.
He sprawled out across the floor, unenthused.
"Fai?" Watanuki questioned. But the blonde didn't appear to hear him. He cleared his throat and tried again,
"Fai-san?" He added to the name, hoping to catch his attention. Blue eyes found the males face.
"I…Uh…Are you okay?"
"Mm…I guess. Just kind of down."
"You could put your feelings into something?"
"I don't feel like singing…Or playing piano…" The blonde answered, looking back to the ceiling. The shorter male stood and wandered off. Fai barely noticed. He wasn't aware of his absence until the male returned with a notepad and pen - which he promptly dropped on the blondes stomach.
"Hm?"
"If you're going to brood, at least make good use of it," Watanuki suggested, pulling out his own notepad and pen and sitting down. Fai picked up the things he'd been given, and sat up, giggling,
"Hyuu! Watanuki-kun is so cute when he's being stern!"
Said boy flushed and kept his eyes on his notepad. Fai slid onto his stomach, and uncapped the pen. His lyrics ran across the page with ease. He was a song writer, as well as a composer. Everything he wrote was sad though. And this song, he could tell, was going to turn out depressing as ever. He was done within half an hour.
"What's he doing?" Sakura questioned Watanuki, pointing her gaze to Fai.
"I got him a notepad. I thought he might as well do something useful if he was going to brood."
Said blonde was currently scanning his lyrics. He'd made it about a female…A daughter. But…Truthfully, this was all about him…Some of the lines stuck out and grabbed his attention now…
It's half biology and, half corrective surgery gone wrong.
You'll notice something funny, if you hang around here for too long
Ago in some black hole, before they had these pills to take it back!
The story of his life, and he knew it.
"Fai-san?" Watanuki questioned, and the blonde looked his way. This time, he was smiling.
"Thanks Watanuki-kun. I feel better now."
"What's this? Fai Flourite sprawled out on the floor? Aren't you usually singing, or something?" A familiar voice questioned, playfully. Remembering the sound, Fai looked,
"Fuuma!"
--
Why did he have to go to class to suffer? Woodshop hadn't been bad. Just long. He'd lost count of how many times he'd almost cut himself accidentally…
Sighing, he headed for Arts Hall. He wasn't looking forward to this. Not at all. Things had gone from amazing to crap within minutes and now his day just kept on tumbling downward. When he pulled open the door and had stepped beyond the threshold, he let the door slowly fall shut behind him.
He didn't expect this…
--
"Alright! How about a live performance?!" Fai called out. His classmates stopped what they were doing, and looked intrigued. The male scanned the room, finding what he was looking for.
"Any drummers?" The blonde wondered aloud. A few people volunteered, and he chose one after showing them the sheet music - which he carried in his messenger bag. He got Sakura -who would be his backup guitarist- to highlight the drummers notes for him, because she knew the song. A microphone was produced from a closet, and people set themselves up like a crew. Amps were plugged in, instruments were pushed off to the sides of the room, to make room for people to stand - like a true concert audience. Fai grinned,
"Alright! I wrote this roughly four years ago! I hope you guys will enjoy it!"
Fuuma was standing near the front, along with Watanuki. The blondes peers were all around the two he was focusing on. Looking away again, he put on a serious face. He looked to his makeshift band and they both nodded.
Strumming the first few notes, Fai closed his eyes. He heard Sakura and the male he'd chosen as his drummer kick in behind him. Right on cue. He followed the tune until the lyrics were supposed to come in. He opened his eyes and his mouth and poured his soul into the microphone.
"You can't quit until you try,
You can't live until you die,
You can't learn to tell the truth, until you learn to lie.
You can't breathe until you choke,
You gotta laugh when you're the joke.
There's nothing like a funeral, to make you feel, a-LIVE!!!
Just open your eyes,
Just open your eyes,
And see that life is beautiful!
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry,
At my funeral!!!"
--
Kurogane slipped into the room quietly at the second round of 'just open your eyes.' He hadn't expected Fai to be belting his lungs into a microphone, and pouring his heart out. Of course, there was a lot he hadn't expected from the blonde. He dropped his bag among the others, but no one noticed. Everyone was too focused on the live performance…
"I know some things that you don't,
I've done things that you won't,
There's nothing like a trail of blood, to find your way back home.
I was waiting for my hearse,
What came next was so much worse,
It took a funeral, to make me feel alive!!!"
The blonde locked his eyes on those of the raven who was lurking in the back, on that line. He continued with the song, but he wanted him to understand just how messed up he happened to be. His family was dead. And the remaining members of his family were limited. His sister was starting her own life. His Father hated him. And he was slowly dying…
"Will you swear on your life, that no one will cry,
At my funera~l!!!"
--
"That was outstanding, Fai!"
"Thanks, Fuuma," the blonde grinned, returning the guitar to it's proper place. The dark haired male shook his head in disbelief,
"Well…You beat my expectations. That's for sure."
"Really?" He turned expert blue eyes on the male. A fixed gaze. A focused stare.
"Yeah. You know how people get. Hype and what not. Exaggeration. And then you have to hear it for yourself," he shrugged.
"I agree. That makes sense to me."
"Ooi, Fuuma," the familiar voice of Kurogane cut through their conversation, and both of the males turned to face the raven.
"Ah, Kurogane, something I can help you with?"
"Ryuuoh tells me you were talking about me. Saying I was glaring you down?"
"In French class, yeah. I just assumed I was crossing a territorial line by talking to Fai…"
"…" The blonde didn't speak. He definitely wasn't a piece of property, and he would refuse to be treated as such.
"…" Apparently, the raven hadn't planned out this conversation.
"And I wasn't saying it to Ryuuoh. I was saying it to Kamui. Ryuuoh and the others were walking by at the time."
"…"
"However, Ryuuoh did come up to me at the end of lunch. He informed me that he'd overheard my conversation…And that he'd asked you if there was anything going on between you and Fai."
"Back down, Fuuma," Kurogane growled.
"And apparently you answered with: never happened."
--
He'd managed to successfully ignore the raven until the end of class. And when it was over, he stormed out of the building. The male surprised him by following.
"Ooi!"
"Go away."
"Fai!"
"GO. AWAY."
"Ooi! Listen to me," he grabbed a hold of the males shoulder, and was surprised when the blonde shrugged him off. He expected to find him crying, but instead there was a look of defiance in those blue eyes.
"Fai…"
"Go back inside. You have another class, don't you?"
"Gym. I can skip."
"No. Go back inside," Fai pressed. He didn't want to be near Kurogane.
Never happened.
"I didn't mean what I said…To Ryuuoh, I mean," he mumbled. He felt horrible. Hadn't the male already broken up with him? Hadn't he said it was better that no one fell for him?
"But what about you?" The raven continued, wanting answers,
"Didn't you tell Sakura it was better if no one fell for you?"
"…" Fai didn't answer. He just stared out at nothing. He was already losing the battle, and he couldn't stop it from happening.
"…It is better that no one falls for me."
"Why?"
"…"
"Dammit Fai! If this is about your damn illness, then you should already see that I've looked past that!"
"That isn't it!"
"What then?" Red eyes focused on the blonde, who kept his gaze on nothing.
"It's not just the fact that I'm…That I'm dying," Fai muttered,
"I'm not…No one is supposed to fall for me, and it's not just because of death."
"What is it then? Tell me." If there was any chance that he could keep him…He would damn well find it.
A car pulled up in front of the school, and Fai pulled the passenger door open. He pulled his bag off and chucked it down onto the floor. He was about to slide in to the seat, but Kurogane grabbed him again.
"Fai…Just tell me why."
When red and blue met once more, the ravens eyes grew. Now, there were tears rolling down the pale cheeks.
"I would," the blonde answered, pulling away, and sliding into the car. He gripped the door handle, ready to pull it shut.
"But it never happened…Remember?"
He didn't wait long before he slammed the door and pulled on his seat belt.
--
(A.N: Ahhh! Gomen nasai! I will try to update this again soon…And oh no! Things don't look so good right now. Hmm…Don't hate Fuuma too much for it…He didn't really do anything wrong. A certain RAVEN just needs to work on some ANGER ISSUES. -Glare face- Anyways, R&R?)