I'm back! as usual, sorry for the delay. And also as usual, thank you so much for reading and reviews are greatly appreciated!
83. With you:
(note: this story is in 1st/2nd person from Up's POV and it's almost as if he's talking to Taz. The rest of the stories will be in 3rd person as normal)
With you, I was often frustrated and angry. I was your baby sitter, which was not a part of my job description. You were always getting in trouble and always needed to be monitored. You were out of control, disrespected authority, and perpetually angry. No one knew what to do with you, except for me. I stood up for you and got you out of trouble every time you stepped out of line. My reputation suffered because of you. Every time I gave my word that you had learned your lesson, you would just make that exact same mistake again. I always put my neck out for you, and you would always break it. I should resent you, hate you even, but I don't. Because when I was with you, no matter what you were doing, I was happy.
When you were my lieutenant, I was always with you when we went on missions. And most of the missions ended with me saving your life. I would often put my life on the line to get you out of some crazy situation that you concocted. Your stupidity would put lives on the line, but I didn't care. Because if I lost you. I would never be able to move on. I couldn't live without you. I just have to be with you.
91. Skill:
Taz was an excellent soldier, no doubt. Her instincts and naturally short temperament made her an important asset in the midst of battle. Everyone, including Taz knew this. Taz knew she was the best lieutenant in the GLEE and she wasn't exactly shy about it either. She figured that she was born to be a ranger, but she knew she wouldn't be half as good if she had been trained by anyone other than Up. She had an idea on how to fight, but she wouldn't have her refined, almost graceful, style of fighting if it wasn't for Up. She wouldn't be nearly as logical and composed if she had another teach. Yes Taz was born to be a soldier, but she had learned all her skills from Up.
62. Treat:
Taz kept a permanent wall around her whenever she was in public. No one was allowed to see her for how she really was: a scared, vulnerable, broken, guilt filled girl. No one was allowed to see the real Taz, except for Up. Up was the only person Taz trusted enough to let him into her world. Up knew this and thought it to be the biggest treat she could ever give him.
76. Fire:
Taz stared down at an old letter that Up had written her. It was written to remind her that he would always be with her. She had always loved the letter, but today, she hated it.
It was all his fault, Taz had decided. If he hadn't been running through her mind earlier, she wouldn't have gotten distracted and she would have had a better handle on her platoon. If she had watched her men more carefully, she would have known that they were walking into an ambush. And if she had known that, she wouldn't have lost half of her men.
Taz sat staring at the letter, and then at the small fire at her feet. She knew she had to forget about Up. He was a broken up half-man in a rehabilitation centre somewhere out in space. He wasn't going to help her anymore; she had to help herself. Taz let down everyone today, and she couldn't let it happen again. She couldn't have a weakness if she wanted to be that perfect soldier again.
So with one last longing look at the letter, she set it down in the fire, and watched it burn. As the flames engulfed the last thing she had of Up's, she could feel herself forget him as her heart hardened into the stone that she wanted it to be.
41. Dawn:
Taz had always been a pessimistic person. Everything could always have a bad outcome according to her. She was also a morning person. One could always be up earlier was another one of her sayings. Her favorite part of the morning was the sunrise. She loved the daybreak so much because it was one of the few things that kept her sane. In her world of pessimism, it kept her hopeful for a new day. It was the one part of the day where she was an optimist. But once she walked out her door to go to breakfast, her scowl would go right back on her face.
40. Vital:
"You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness" -Somebody That I Used to Know, Walk Across the Earth version
Taz couldn't decide if loved being alone, or if she actually hated it. She had however, found it better to be feared than loved, so she often chose to be almost like a hermit. It was such a vital part of her personality to be alone, that she never knew what to do when someone showed a shred of interest in her. Taz secretly wished that people would treat her kindly and would want to be her friend. But she couldn't have a friend, especially now that she was a ranger. She couldn't let anyone if because they would just end up in the forgotten in the background or even dead. Therefore, it was vital that she cut herself off from friends.
That's why it was so strange when that man who rescued her wanted to befriend her. No one had ever wanted to be near her before, so why did he? However, Taz liked something about this man. She wanted to let him in desperately, but just couldn't. She had become to engulfed in her solidarity to let anyone in. Taz did know though that if she kept all of her feelings in much longer, she would probably go insane. It was vital for her to open up, but she just couldn't. Her most vital part of her personality was quickly becoming her downfall.
Thanks for reading!