Chapter 20
(A.N: It's been close to 3 weeks, and I decided to update once again! Yay! Kind of angsty this chapter again – you have been warned. Words written like this, are song lyrics. TT means time passing, or scene changes. You guys know the drill. R&R? Appreciate the love!)
TT
Another three days had passed since then.
Three wonderful days, of campfires and swimming. Of roasting marshmallows, and cliff jumping, and singing...Of laughing until it hurt, of cooking meals, and even one night of ordering pizza.
It was three days of cuddling, and picture taking. Three marvellous days that made it feel like summer might never end.
And it was on the fourth day – a Saturday – that Chi sent a text message to Fai. It was on this fourth day that he read her message, snuck out of bed, and got dressed. It was on this day that Hideki, Chi, and Fai snuck out of the cottage, leaving behind a simple note;
"We have something important to do today – we'll be back later."
And it was on this day that they stopped only once to purchase something that they felt was important. And then they continued on their way to their destination.
Hideki was driving, and Chi was sitting up front with him. Fai was sprawled out in the backseat, with one hand holding his purchase over his chest, and the other hand clutching a hold of his cell phone.
Today was important.
TT
Chi poked him to grab his attention, and he shifted his blue eyed gaze to her.
"Hey sleeping beauty," she teased, but her eyes weren't laughing the way he thought they'd be.
"I wasn't asleep," he murmured, watching her smile.
"We just got back from the visit. Do you want us to wait for you here, or do you want us to go away for a little bit?"
"You guys can go," he answered gently,
"We both have our cell phones on us. I'll text you when I'm ready. You guys go ahead and get something to eat."
"You sure?" She knew he was, but she wanted to be positive.
"Yeah, you go ahead. I'll be a while here."
"Okay...And Fai?"
"Hm?" He set his gaze on her once more.
"...He was here..."
He wasn't surprised that the male had been there already...Yesterday had been an important day too. But they never came here on that day, for the fear that they would meet with him.
Still, the fear travelled through him quickly.
If he'd been here already, then that meant that Fai was in for an unwanted visit soon. Which meant that his happy start-to-summer, might turn ugly, very quickly.
He hoped it wasn't so.
TT
He'd stuffed his cell phone into his pocket, and now walked with his purchase. He walked in silence. Hideki had already driven away – taking Chi with him. Now Fai was alone.
And yet, he was surrounded by people.
Of course, none of these people were moving...Or breathing for that matter.
He heard the grounds gentle scrape beneath his shoes, and the leaves that he stepped on, padded his footsteps. He didn't stop until he located her. She was standing sturdy and had been graced with the presence of a bouquet of lilies, as well as a bouquet of red roses.
The lilies were from Chi, and the roses...
He kneeled down in front of her, and set down one of the bouquets of white roses that he was carrying.
Smiling, despite his sadness, he greeted her in a gentle voice,
"Hi Mom."
He spoke to her tombstone is a gentle voice. Told her about Chi's engagement, and then amended saying that she probably knew that already. He told her about each and every one of his friends, about Kurogane – though he left out some of the unnecessary details.
He told her about the new house, and the summer cottage. Told her all about the past year. And when he felt he'd said it all, he stood. The wind rustled around him, and he bid her farewell, and carried his second bouquet of white roses with him, as he moved a little ways away – to his next stop.
He set down the bouquet – this tombstone was decorated with the same arrangement of flowers as the last – and then he plopped himself down, taking a seat.
"...Hey Fai..."
The wind rustled. The grass swayed, and his hair tickled his face.
He was listening then.
"I have so many things to tell you...I grew again! You'd be much taller now...If you were still..." He cleared his throat, and changed the topic,
"I'm doing well at school. Taking classes that fit my needs, and wants...As well as some of the mandatory stuff." A cold breeze made him shiver, and then he laughed,
"Alright, alright. I won't talk about school, I'm sorry."
The breeze became gentle and warm once again, so he continued. He told his brother all about his friends. He gave more detail this time, because there were some things a Mother was just not meant to hear...But a brother? A twin? Well, maybe you could share some of these things with him.
He talked to him about the new house...The purple room, the stars...He told him what Fuuma had told him about the stars and constellations. He told him about the summer cottage and the cliff jumping – though there was another cold breeze for that one.
"Oh come on, you would have done the same thing," he argued to the wind – which died down, and warmed up again, as if agreeing. He could almost hear his twin: "Yeah, you're right. I would have."
"Besides, Chi and Sakura gave me hell for it already. Oh, that reminds me! Chi got engaged to Hideki!" There was a quick gust then, but it was warm,
"I know! Surprised me too! But I'm happy for her." He smiled, and traced the name on the tombstone. The name everyone referred to him by, and the name that he still wrote on all of his school papers.
"Hey Fai?" He paused, and then sighed,
"I met the most amazing guy..." A warm breeze prompted him to continue,
"His name's Kurogane. He's big, and strong...He's powerfully built, and he cares...He cares about me more than anything else...He has a bit of a temper, and sometimes he's thick headed, but sometimes I am too. And even when he's raging in anger – which is extremely rare, by the way – he still would never, ever hurt me. He beat up Mikail, too. Threatened his life..." The blonde laughed, and shook his head,
"He's a real tough guy...But he's still a good guy. I love him...More than anything...Well, except for you, Mom, and Chi...Dad hasn't been around in this past year...But he came here, to see you, and to see Mom...And something tells me he'll come back to see me. And we both know how that will go over..."
A cold breeze stopped him, and he sighed,
"Right, I know. More about the boy, and less about the jackass. Kurogane is...I can't explain him to you Fai...You two probably would have fought now and then...I mean, I fight with him now and then...But you, you wouldn't have backed down – at all, ever. You might have intimidated him slightly too...Looking like me, and acting like he does," he laughed at the thought, and pulled his knees to his chest,
"He's tall...And that's an understatement. I'm only up to his shoulders...He's well-built, but I won't say that he's buffed out. He's tan, and he's got short, spiky, black hair, and red eyes...Yeah, red. I know, it's rare. He's usually scowling, but it's pretty much permanent. He's got a bad past, you see..." The blonde sighed,
"His parents were murdered in front of him, and then Kurogane himself shot the murderer. He was only seven..." The breezes died down completely, and the blue eyed male watched the tombstone for a moment longer,
"He doesn't talk to anyone about it. And I haven't told too many people about my illness. I mean, Kurogane knows – it wouldn't be fair to keep it from him. The fact that I'm dying a little more every day...And Sakura knows...And Watanuki, and Doumeki...I think Syaoran might know by now too...I know Tomoyo does...Anyway-" He was cut off by his cell phone. He pulled it out of his pocket, and flipped it open – reading the name. He closed it again, and stuffed the phone back into his pocket,
"Anyway, as it turns out, I'm not the only one who's lying about their name. Kurogane's name isn't actually Kurogane. It's You-oh. But I never call him that. Just like Chi never calls me Yuui. Not even when she's mad as hell. She still calls me Fai D. Flourite...And I haven't told Kurogane about my name yet...Maybe I will, but I'm hoping that I don't have to." He pulled his phone out, and ignored the missed phone call alert. He sent out a text to his sister, about being ready. She sent one back, saying they'd be five minutes.
He stayed seated as he continued his conversation with his brother.
TT
"We're getting some more coffee...Do you want breakfast, or anything?" Chi questioned, looking back to her brother – who was staring at his cell phone.
"I'm not hungry...But I think I might have a cup of coffee..."
"You only drink coffee when something's really eating at you...What's wrong?"
"It's been four years..." The blonde murmured, as they pulled into the drive-thru. He knew that he could get away with lying today, and hiding behind that for now...But tomorrow, he would have to pick himself back up again.
He'd have to be strong all over again...
Chi passed him a hot, thick paper cup.
"Double-double," she murmured.
He nodded, and thanked her. Double-double; two sugars, and two creams. The only way he'd take his coffee. Sweetened, but not ridiculously so, and smooth to the taste.
He held the cup in his hands, and waited for it to cool down.
TT
"Look, they're back!" Fuuma announced the arrival, and offered out a wave.
Chi waved back, with a small smile. Hideki nodded.
"Hey wait...Where's Fai?" Now the tall raven looked confused, as he realized that the blonde was missing.
"He'll be back later. He was feeling kind of sick, so we took him home. He has his car there, so he figures he'll just drive himself back – he knows the way." As Chi said it, she looked to Kurogane briefly, and then she set her gaze back to Fuuma.
"When's he coming back?" Kurogane took a turn to ask his question.
"He said to give him a couple of hours – just in case. He's going to text me before he heads back."
TT
Sure enough, the blonde did text his sister. He also showed up in his black Mercedes, with the windows down, and a four trays of coffee – plus one tea – balanced nearby.
No one knew how the hell he managed to do it.
His sister was waiting for him when he got there, so he asked her to help him carry the drinks back to the group. She took the top two trays and watched him carefully. He stepped out, hit the locks, put the windows up, grabbed his two trays, and a lit cigarette, and closed the car door.
"Smoking? Really Fai?"
"You know I only do this...When I'm really bothered," he muttered, heading back towards the group.
"Yeah, which makes me wonder what's bothering you. This goes beyond Mom and our brother...Is it about Dad?"
"Sort of..." He shrugged, and continued with walking.
"Did he contact you?" She looked worried.
"Not yet," another shrug.
"Then you're smoking because something else is wrong...Tell me what it is. I'm your sister, I deserve to know..."
"I'll let you know, when I know," he sighed, as they approached the group.
"Let her know what?" Fuuma questioned – surprised to see him back.
"Whether or not I got the right drinks for everyone! I think I did!" Fai sang, sitting down. He un-stacked his two trays, and started setting up the drinks. He handed Fuuma a cup, and the raven noticed the unfinished cigarette in Fai's other hand.
"Wait...You smoke?"
"...Rarely. Just when I'm really stressed out..." The blonde shrugged, deeming his answer suitable,
"Chi, one of those is yours...The teabag is in the empty space of the top tray."
"Alright."
"Wait, what's stressing you out?" Fuuma questioned, watching the blonde as he waved to the others. Fai chucked the unfinished cigarette into the fire pit, after breaking it in half. There wasn't a fire yet, but he figured it'd be a good way to get rid of his cigarette butts.
"Just some things. I think my Dad might be coming back around soon...And because I'm not allowed to panic...I'm stressing out instead...And today has just been really hard so far..."
"What's wrong?" Kamui questioned, accepting his cup of coffee as he joined the group.
"Fai-san, are you okay?" Watanuki questioned as he appeared with Doumeki.
Soon the whole gang had formed once again. Everyone was sitting with their respective partners – minus Tomoyo, who had plopped down between Chi and Sakura - and everyone had their drinks in front of them.
Kurogane kissed the side of his boyfriends head upon seeing him, and then questioned him with his eyes - about why Fai had coffee.
The blonde smiled softly, and took a drink from his coffee cup.
"I didn't know that you were a coffee drinker Fai..." Kamui spoke up again.
"I'm not. I drink coffee when I'm stressed out."
The others gave him a look that urged him to continue. He didn't speak. He just took another drink from his cup.
"Fai...Tell them..." Chi murmured.
"Tell us what?" Watanuki looked confused.
Fai reached into his pocket, and pulled out his cigarettes. He slipped one between his lips, and flicked his lighter open.
"Since when do you smoke?" Sakura questioned, bewildered.
"I don't."
"And he's not going to start," Kurogane muttered, pulling the lit cigarette away. He snapped it in half, and chucked it into the fire pit.
Fai's eyes narrowed into a glare – which he fixed on the raven.
"I don't smoke. It's only when my stress levels are skyrocketing. Trashing my cigarettes isn't going to help me calm down." He took his coffee with him as he stood up. He carefully lit another cigarette, and took a long drag from it, before he exhaled the smoke.
"If anyone gets cancer, it's my fault, and I apologize. Feel free to blame me. Chi, maybe you can tell them what's wrong," he added the last bit, in hopes that Kurogane would stay sitting – because he looked like he was about to get up.
It worked, he stayed sitting.
Fai wandered away – back towards his car. Everyone watched him walk all the way back – half expecting him to go into the cottage. But instead, he climbed onto the hood of his car – leaned his back against the windshield, and continued to smoke.
Chi sighed.
The others turned their focus to her.
"...It's been four years..."
"Four years?" Subaru questioned, seeking expansion.
"...Four years ago yesterday...Our Mother died of cancer...And four years today...Our brother died..."
After saying the words, most of the group watched as Fai took another drag from his cigarette.
"He died of some unnamed disease, right? That must have been hard on you guys...And I mean...Fai must hate looking in the mirror..." Kamui murmured knowingly.
"He gets to see himself age, while his brother will never pass the age of fourteen," Fuuma agreed quietly.
"That's not enough though...He's drinking coffee, and smoking. Stress shows in him drinking coffee...It has to be worse if he's smoking..." Kurogane interrupted, sounding irritated.
"Might be the fact that we saw flowers on their tombstones when we went to the cemetery today," Chi murmured, taking a drink from her tea.
"Flowers? From who?" Watanuki's question was innocent enough.
"I've got a guess," Fuuma muttered, looking back to Fai.
"His Father," Kurogane growled, also throwing his gaze back to the blonde.
Chi nodded,
"Yeah. Dad always visits the graves on the anniversary of our Mother's death. We wait until the next day – the anniversary of our brother's death. It's an unspoken rule. But there's not a doubt in my mind that he's going to come around sometime soon. Yeah, maybe he'll wait until school starts back up...But maybe not. He's unpredictable that way."
Sakura unconsciously gripped her boyfriends hand tighter. Syaoran ran a reassuring thumb across the back of her hand.
Watanuki looked disturbed, and Doumeki's eyes had hardened. Seishiro's face remained fairly neutral, but it was evident that he didn't like the scenario. Subaru looked worried – as did Tomoyo...Shogo glared at nothing, and Primera's face turned sad. Kamui clenched up, and Fuuma – glaring himself – tried to calm him by running his hand along his back.
Kurogane's scowl deepened, but his hands remained steady.
"Let him come," the deep voice muttered,
"He can't get close to him. What's there to be afraid of? What makes any of you think that he'll get past me?" Kurogane was so sure of himself. Chi sighed,
"Sadly, if Dad tells Fai to come out to meet him...Fai will. If he kicks his ass, Fai will lie, and say he fell down the stairs, or encountered some bullies...Whatever fits the bruising."
"Well I know when he's lying. And I'll know who hurt him – if it comes to that," the raven countered.
Chi just shook her head,
"Take him to court, and Fai will deny it all. He'll claim that his Father never laid a hand on him. He'll defend him, if he needs to."
"Why?" Everyone wanted the answer to that one.
"Because he's scared of him...And he wouldn't want Dad hurting anyone else when it's not necessary..."
"He can't hurt other people though! Even if Fai denies it, we could take him to court if he hurt any of us!" Watanuki argued.
"Would you still take him to court, if he threatened to kill his son?" Chi half-whispered.
Silence took over the group.
"But...He can't..." Watanuki murmured, stunned.
"He will. If he feels it's necessary...He will," Chi spoke up again, sounding frustrated.
Fuuma pulled his cell phone out and flipped it open. He didn't speak, but he showed the message to Kamui – who shook his head and went to sit beside Subaru. Fuuma understood that the male was in a bad mood – due to the news – and wanted to stay behind. So he got up himself, and returned his cell phone to his pocket. He took his coffee with him as he walked away.
"Where are you going?" Kurogane questioned.
"I've been summoned," Fuuma chuckled, as he continued to walk away.
TT
"So. What terrible things are being said about my Father?" Fai questioned, when he heard the males footsteps nearby.
"Basically that he's a total prick who needs a serious ass beating," Fuuma answered, shrugging.
"Hmm, I see." There was a moment of silence between the two,
"Would Kamui mind terribly if I kidnapped you for a bit?"
He listened to the sound of the male texting as he spoke. There wasn't a verbal answer at first, until Fuuma's phone buzzed – signalling a vibration.
"He says it's fine by him. Where are we going, anyway?"
Fai rolled off the hood of his car, and put his cigarette butt into his empty coffee cup,
"Groceries. We need some more."
TT
"And here I thought this would be an urgent grocery mission!" Fuuma teased, looking to the four bags of food that they were carrying.
"It doesn't look like much, but it's more than what it appears to be. We've got a lot of breakfast supplies, and dinner supplies...And we can make s'mores now too! And we got more milk..." Fai laughed as they exited the store.
"And a load of tic tacs," Fuuma added.
"Hey, I needed some...And then I wondered if the others would want any...And it turned into a feast!"
"A feast of one calorie breath mints!"
Fai laughed as he set his bags down in the car's trunk. This was what he loved about Fuuma. One of the many things, in fact. Even when things were dark in the blondes world, the raven haired male made things brighter. He knew that he was dying to know about what was causing Fai to become a chain-smoker, but he didn't ask, and that kept the blue eyed male at ease.
When the trunk was closed, Fai looked to Fuuma, and looked to his cigarettes,
"Do you mind if I-?"
Fuuma shook his head; no. The blonde smiled, feeling grateful, and the two climbed into the car.
TT
"Ohhh, I love this song!" Fai cheered, turning up his radio, he allowed the music to blast through the car, and out the windows.
He didn't sing the opening, as he tapped out the end of his cigarette, before tucking it above him – in the cars sun-blocking flap.
But after the guitar solo, he jumped right in,
"You're sick, of feeling numb.
You're not, the only one.
I'll take you by the hand,
And I'll show you a world that you can understand...
This life, is filled with hurt,
When happiness, doesn't work.
Trust me, and take my hand.
When the lights go out, you will understand~
Pain! Without love!
Pain! I can't get enough!
Pain! I like it rough,
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.
Pain! Without love!
Pain! I can't enough!
Pain! I like it rough,
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all..."
"Morbid much?"
Fai grinned and agreed before the song kicked back in, and he went right back to singing.
TT
"We're back!" Fuuma called.
"And we brought food!" Fai chimed in, setting his bags on the table.
Kamui slipped into the kitchen and waited for Fuuma to set his bags down. Once the taller of the two had done so, Kamui offered out a smile.
Fuuma wrapped him up in his arms within seconds,
"Hey...I missed you..."
"I missed you too," Kamui murmured against his boyfriends neck,
"Did you two have fun?"
"Yeah. We got a bunch of stuff to cook over the fire...And a few things we'll need pans for...And a bunch of tic tacs..."
"Tic tacs?"
"Fai has a fetish."
"Stop spreading lies!" Fai tried to scold him, but he was laughing. He was in the middle of emptying out the bags.
TT
"Alright. See how Kamui went right to Fuuma?" Chi questioned quietly from her position next to the raven,
"And he wasn't jealous of Fai...And he didn't start a fight with him...He just smiled, and got a hug...Now, being as the roles are reversed in your scenario...You might want to be the one to do the hugging...Reassure him and what not..."
"You're so funny," the raven muttered.
"You say that, but you haven't moved yet."
Kurogane sighed, swallowed down his jealousy, and stepped forwards – just as Fai was telling Fuuma not to spread his lies.
The raven wrapped his arms around the blondes waist, and Fai placed one of his hands over the arms on his waist.
"How was shopping?"
The blonde swallowed before he answered,
"Good. We got more breakfast food...And some other stuff for lunches, or dinners, or whatever..."
"Oh..."
"And we got marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers, so we can make s'mores!"
"Sounds good," the raven murmured, pressing his face against the pale flesh of his boyfriends neck.
"And we got tic tacs."
"...Why tic tacs?"
"So that I can do this..." Fai freed himself from his boyfriends hold, and turned to face him. He leaned up, pressing the raven into a kiss.
Kurogane was taken by surprise by the blondes actions, but he didn't argue. He kissed him back, melding their mouths together for a few brief moments. He could tell that Fai had recently had some of the previously mentioned tic tacs, because he tasted of mint.
"...I don't quite get why you think you need tic tacs to be able to do that..."
"...Well, judging by your reaction, they worked. I taste like mint, and no longer like cigarettes."
"Ah...So that's what you were going after..."
Fai smiled, and turned back to the groceries.
TT
(A.N: Alright, I'm ending the chapter on this note. I would have posted this the other day...But I ended up watching War of the Worlds for the first time ever in full...I don't know how I feel about it...It's just...It's really weird. And then I was distracted by things that increased your intellectual capacity...You know, The Simpsons, and Family Guy...-shot- But hey, at least it's up, and there's another one underway. R&R?)