You guys rock my socks. Seriously. I was having a pretty crappy day the other day, and then I found that I had over 30 reviews on this story...I flipped out. I was originally going to wait until I had Chapter 8 done to post this, but you guys totally deserve it.
Review? Pretty please? I'll give you a virtual cookie...
"So how are things with you and Ollie?" I found myself asking after a long silence. Usually dinner at the table with Dinah wasn't as awkward as it was today.
"Fine," she began, taking a bite out of her spaghetti. "But he's still beating himself up over Roy."
I paused, wanting to say so many things at once, but quickly decided none of them would help me at all. I simply reverted my gaze from her and pushed around my plate."All of us are."
She sighed, reaching her hand across the table to grasp mine and giving me a sympathetic look."Especially you, Tess. I know that, given your feelings towards him –"
"I don't have any feelings for that asshole other than hatred, Dinah," I growled, ripping my hand away and situating them in my lap so she couldn't grab them again.
"You can't keep telling yourself that, Tess, it's not healthy."
"I don't want to talk about this." My chair made a screeching noise as I stood up abruptly, throwing my napkin down on my plate. I refused to look at her – to see the sad, sympathetic look in her eyes – and made my way towards the stairs. "I'm going to bed."
"You can't avoid this forever, Tessa," Dinah called at my retreating back. I stopped at the entrance to the hallway, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye and pursing my lips.
"Just watch me."
"We are approaching Santa Prisca," Miss M announced, making me jump in my seat and shake my head to clear my thoughts of the scene that had just played. Focus, focus, focus...
I sighed, rubbing my eyes. I didn't get a second of sleep last night, contrary to the fact that I had gone to bed at 7 o'clock after my argument with Dinah. And it was now, what, 10 pm? I hate these late night missions. "Are you alright, Echo?" a concerned voice said from behind me, and I turned to face Aqualad.
"Fine, just a little tired."
He nodded and directed his attention back to the scenery outside, but the concerned look on his face stayed in place. It was obvious he didn't believe me. And, honestly, it mattered little to me right now what he thought.
"Drop zone A in thirty." Aqualad stood up, his seat dissolving back into the bioship, and he pressed the A on his belt, transforming his red shirt into a grey one.
"Ready," he said.
"Putting bioship in camouflage mode." Outside my window, the left wing disappeared on Miss M's command. "Ready?"
The bottom of the ship opened up, making a hole large enough for one person to fit, and Aqualad gave us all one last look before diving head first into the ocean below. We waited a minute for his response. "Heat and motion sensors are now patched. The video feed is on a continuous loop. Invade."
Within seconds, the bioship had stopped a second time. "Drop zone B," M'gann announced, and our seats all dissolved once we stood up. Hooks appeared from the ceiling, and we latched them onto our belts. I sighed, and zipped up my bustier up all the way. I was wearing one of Canary's old costumes from when she was younger as my covert uniform, because the last time I wore mine I was when I was supposed to be tracking down Cupid for Canary, and she shot and explosive arrow at me, tearing a huge hole in my suit. So now, I really did look like a Canary Clone.
"How cool is this?" KF beamed, gesturing to his black and grey covert uniform. I rolled my eyes.
"Hardly," I answered at the same time Miss M said "Very impressive." She waved her arms, and suddenly her outfit went from her usual white shirt and skirt, to a full black body uniform with a hooded cape.
"Uh...that works too," he replied lamely. "Hey, Supey, not too late to put on the new stealth tech."
"No capes, no tights, no offense," Superboy remarked, crossing his arms.
"It totally works for you," Miss M said with a dreamy tone. "I...mean, you could totally do good work in those clothes." I bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud as she pulled up her hood and disappeared.
"Nice save," I whispered, close to where I assumed she was. Raising my voice, I rolled my shoulders and walked to the hole that had once again opened up from the floor, "This just got a whole lot weirder, so I'm just gonna leave now."
I landed beside Robin, who had given up on the conversation moments before I had, and we barely had enough time to dive out of the way as Superboy jumped down, shaking the ground and leaving a crater in his wake. Of course.
"I knew I didn't need a line," he said smugly, standing up straight and brushing the dirt that had kicked up off his pants.
Robin huffed angrily from his spot on the ground, legs sprawled out in front of him. I rubbed my tail bone and stood up, offering him a hand. "And yet creating a seismic event doesn't help us much with the covert!"
"Aqualad," Megan began into her comlink. "Drop B is go."
"Head towards the factory. I'll track your GPS and rendezvous with you there ASAP."
"Roger that," Robin replied, putting his holographic map away as we raced into the brush. Miss M flew and KF raced ahead with Superboy keeping pace with his jumping, leaving Robin and I to bring up the rear. Actually, leaving me to bring up the rear, because I kept tripping over those damn tree roots. We all slowed down when we got to a narrow path next to a waterfall. It was eerily beautiful out here, and I'm sure it must look amazing when it's light outside.
"Where are you going?" I whispered to Robin, who had kept walking ahead when the others stopped, staring straight down at his map.
He shook his head, and grabbed my arm, pulling me into the thick trees, "C'mon." We jumped from boulder to boulder, flying through the forest at top speed. "My sensors detect two groups of people rendezvousing on our previous path. I'm trying to get a closer look."
"Got it," I answered, but pulled on his cape to get him to stop running. I closed my eyes and concentrated a wave on the path ahead, only to reveal two groups coming at us from both sides far away, all holding heavy weaponry. In fact, if we didn't move right now, we'd be closed in soon enough. Looking around, I noticed the tree next to us was incredibly thick and probably was strong enough to hold the both of us. "Let's climb the tree to get a better look."
"Good thinking." He pulled out his grappling gun and wrapped an arm around my waist, sending us flying through the air once the end hooked onto a thick branch. Robin had it much easier than I, seeing as he had gotten a good grip on the branch before I did. He positioned himself like a bird on the limb, and reached out to catch my slipping hand, hauling me up beside him.
"Thanks," I panted, cracking my fingers, which were starting to hurt like hell.
"Don't mention it...Hey, look." He pointed downward towards the two parties, who were both carrying some very menacing looking guns, marching towards each other. Neither of them looked very happy to see the other, and something told me that us being the ones to take them out wouldn't be necessary. My suspicions were confirmed once both sides raised their guns to open fire at each other.
Now, in any other situation, I would've sat here and just watched with Rob, or steered clear, but not this time, because a black and red blur suddenly skittered into the clearing, right in front of one of the side's leaders. Shit, that's KF. "Kid!" I gasped, raising my binoculars to get a better look.
Superboy wasn't far behind, and he flew into the muscled leader, who started to open fire on Wally. The speedster up and ran away the second he could, avoiding bullets from both parties being shot at him in flurries of red. Superboy and the leader, who looked like he was a WWE Mexican wrestler on steroids (mask and everything), tussled for a second, both proving to have amazing strength. Fortunately, Superboy was stronger, and he managed to throw his opponent into a tree.
"Um, I'd say we should intervene," I suggested, standing up.
Robin sighed, "Yeah, I'd say so." He jumped down, cape flying out behind him, and took out one guy about to take KF's head off. What he wasn't paying attention to was behind his own self, and I launched myself off the branch just in time for Kid to let out a "look out!" before I landed perfectly on the hooded guy's back. I slammed the side of my hand into his neck on one of the pressure points Canary taught me, successfully knocking him out.
"What's wrong with you guys? Remember covert? Why did you follow my lead like Echo and vanish into the jungle?" Robin shouted, taking out another guy with his back to mine while I did the same.
"That's what you were doing? Way to fill us in! We're not mind readers you know," KF argued, flip-kicking his opponent in the jaw. Megan flew up behind him and slammed two guys into a tree with her mind. "Er, I'm not, anyway."
"You said I could only read the bad guy's minds," she accused, putting her hands on her hips. I rolled my eyes at them all and pulled a length of rope from my belt to tie the remaining unconscious enemies to trees. But, a few of them had snuck away while we were busy arguing beforehand.
"I recognize those uniforms!" Robin gasped as I pulled away, admiring my handiwork. "They belong to the Cult of the Cobra." The what?
"I am certain Batman would've mentioned that if he knew a dangerous extremist was running Santa Prisca's venom operation," Aqualad said with his arms crossed.
"Agreed, and since there's clearly no love lost between the cultists and those goons, I'm betting Cobra came in and tossed them out."
"And that must be why the normal supply lines are cut off," I added, looking at the captured cultists with a smirk. They simply glared back – at least, the conscious ones did.
"We get it, Cobra wanted super-cultists. Mystery solved," KF remarked dryly. "Radio Bats and we'll be home in time for –"
"The cultists aren't on Venom!" Robin protested. "Cobra's hording the stuff! We don't leave. Not until I know why."
Hold up, until he knows why? "Until you know why?"
"This team needs a leader!"
"And it's you?" KF snorted, poking a finger at his best friend's chest – well, former best friend, at the rate this is going. "You're a thirteen-year old kid who ducked out on us without a word."
Robin chuckled. "Oh, and you're a mature fifteen? You blew our cover the first chance you got.
"Don't you want to lead?" Miss M awkwardly asked Superboy as we stood slightly away from their lover's spat. He quickly shook his head.
"Pfft, no. You?"
"After the Mister Twister fiasco?" She held up her hands.
"You did alright." And there's that awkwardly embarrassed tension we all missed.
Megan turned to me, desperately trying to clear her face of the most obvious blush I had ever seen in my entire life."What about you Echo? You're the oldest one here."
"Yeah, and be responsible for those two idiots all the time? I'll pass," I snorted. "Besides, I ran off with Robin, too, remember?"
She sighed, offering me a small smile, "I suppose." I glanced over at Wally and Robin, who were still going at it like catty teenage girls, and I decided that I should be the one to end it. After all, no one else seemed to be doing anything about it.
"Yeah, well, you don't even have any powers!" KF glared, crossing his arms.
"So? Neither does Batman!"
"Hello, you're not Batman."
Robin scoffed. "Chuh, closest thing we've got!"
"Oi, Beavis and Butt-Head!" I stomped up to them and grabbed their ears, holding on tight as they both hissed in pain. "You both better shut up now or goddammit I will become leader and it will be a freakin' dictatorship, got it?" They both mumbled their affirmatives, and I rolled my eyes, shoving their heads away. "We've got more important things to worry about right now, like the chorizo-heads strapped to that tree right there."
The beefy guy with the mask chuckled, looking at us out of the corner of his eye. "Such clever niños, but you only know half the story...Let me show you the rest – get you into the factory via my secret entrance." I scoffed, walking towards him with the team, arms crossed. Why would he ever do that for us without getting anything in return? I mean, this man is a criminal.
Miss Martian knelt down in front of him and placed her hands on her head, her eyes glowing white. "There is a secret entrance, but he's also hiding something..."
Masked-Guy smirked slyly, "Uh uh uh, chica. Bane is not that easy."
"Ugh, he's mentally reciting...fútbol scores en Español," Miss M sighed, her eyes returning to their normal gold color as she turned to look at us. "This could take a while."
"It's not complicated," Bane said. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend."
"I thought we were his enemy, too," I whispered to KF, who shrugged, even as Aqualad nodded the okay to untie Bane. Superboy made quick work of the binds, and Bane stood, cracking his knuckles. He glanced at us all, before walking off into the dark,
"Follow me, niños." I shared a look with Superboy, who too looked apprehensive, before following Bane. In a matter of minutes, we were standing on a ledge overlooking a large warehouse with the the Kobra cultists milling around, transporting cases of something or other.
"Look at all that product," Robin hissed, kneeling while looking through is binoculars. I pulled out my own and followed suit. "A buy is going down, but if Kobra's not selling to the usual suspects..."
"Then we need to identify the buyer," Aqualad finished for him.
"Just what I was thinking," Kid said back, pulling on his night-vision goggles.
"Yep!" Robin chuckled. "You're the thinker!"
"Sarcasm? Dude, a real leader would focus on getting answers."
Bane walked away from us, towards a giant bolder situated up against a rock wall. In one fluid movement, he lifted the rock and set it aside, gesturing to the now-open cave with a grin, "Answers, are this way."
Robin took one look at us, before moving to follow Bane inside the cave, making me raise my eyebrows. How could he trust this guy not to betray us? For all we know, the cave is merely a dead end, and he's just planning to rip us apart once we get there. KF, apparently, was thinking along the same lines as me, "Oh, now El Luchador is our leader!" Robin scoffed, shoving him as he passed.
"Wait, are we really gonna trust this guy?" I asked as we followed.
"It's best to go along for now," Aqualad replied.
"Okay," I sighed. "But I reserve the right to say I told you so when this thing blows up in our faces." With that being said, we reluctantly followed Robin inside. It took a few minutes of walking – the whole time I was thinking about how this was totally a trap – until we arrived at a steel wall that obviously wasn't part of the cave. Bane pressed his thumb against a button on the side wall, and the doors opened with a hiss. We were in the back room, apparently, as there were stacks of hundreds of crates all surrounding us. Creeping toward the door, we held our breaths as Bane opened it a crack, enough for Robin to peek his head out. "Coast is clear," he called back, both of us running off.
We both arrived at an office above the main warehouse, where one cultist was sitting behind a desk, surrounded by a circle of computers. Robin pulled a Batarang out of his belt and whipped it at the nearest one to him, and it instantly released knockout gas. He walked over to the chair and pushed the now-unconscious guy off, before bending over the monitor. "You know, I could've just knocked him out the old fashioned way," I remarked, taking a seat beside him.
"Ah, but that wouldn't be nearly as fun."
I shook my head, chuckling as I ripped the Batarang out of the monitor I sat by. "You just like using these things."
"So what?"
Suddenly, KF skidded to a stop behind us, candy bar in hand. "Watcha got?"
"A bunch of 3 dimensional scribbles," I answered, peering over Robin's shoulder. He elbowed me in the stomach with a snort.
"They're chemical formulas, Echo," he corrected, and I rolled my eyes. I liked my idea better. "I'm guessing it involves Venom, but..."
KF sped over, and knelt beside Robin in the other side, reaching forward and pointing two the formulas with his half-eaten candy bar. "That one's venom and...whoa, the Blockbuster formula from Cadmus."
I squinted at the screen, watching as the two formulas melded together. "And I'm going to go ahead and assume that's pretty damn bad, correct?"
"Yeah, way bad..." Kid confirmed, glancing at me. "When mixed correctly, Kobra's new juice is three times stronger than Venom...and permanent. But how did Kobra get access to Project Blockbuster?"
"Who ever is getting the stuff from Kobra, must be handing him Blockbuster formula, too," I said. "Yep, this is bad."
Robin gasped, standing up."They want to create a Blockbuster-Venom Super Formula!" He pressed a hand to his headset. "Robin to Aqualad, we got...static."
"Yep, this is way bad," I nodded as we began to walk towards the door, and KF turned to scowl at me,
"Would you quit saying that!" I stuck my tongue out in retaliation, but froze as a loud bang shook the rafters we were walking on. The three of us ran forward to see the rest of our team battling tons of cultists equipped with machine guns, a Venom/Blockbuster powered monster, and...
"Is that Sportsmaster?" I gasped, staring down at the blond man with a hockey mask over his face.
"Seems like it," Robin answered, before jumping down and landing on a few guys while KF sped off. Realizing I was the only one left, I sighed and shook my head, before I jumped onto the rafters below. Three Kobra guys were shooting at Aqualad who was hiding behind a pillar with KF behind him. So, I ran and slid, knocking out all three guys in one quick swipe.
Everyone online?Megan's voice asked in my head, making me freeze slightly. Gah, it was so weird having voices in my head...you know, other than the usual ones.
...Yeah, Superboy sighed.
You know it, beautiful, KF answered.
I stepped on the nearest one, satisfied with the oomf he made when my heel collided with his chest. I ripped the gun from his hands, using it to bash his head in, along with his friends, before throwing it at the wall to break it. I hear you loud and clear, Miss M.
Good, Kaldur said. We need to regroup.
Busy now! Robin exclaimed.
Robin, now!
I felt a presence behind me. I whipped around, only to see KF standing on the chest of yet another guy, who apparently was trying to sneak up behind me. "Thanks," I sighed, glancing down at the Kobra Cultist.
"You can thank me later, Blondie."
We need to retreat. Kid, clear a path, Kaldur ordered, and the speedster saluted me before running off towards a group of cultists on the main floor.
Roger that! In a matter of seconds, he had plowed through all of them and was running through the door we came in, with the rest of us following close behind. I ducked to avoid one who tried to grab me, and swung at his face, before I was grabbed around the waist by Kid Flash, who narrowly avoided getting hit by the mammoth-sized monster Superboy was going toe-to-toe with. The clone followed suit after picking him up and throwing him into the remaining cultists, and yanked the steel door shut behind him. Unfortunately, that did little to hold him off, and the monster barreled through the door like it was made of paper and not a foot of steel.
We sprinted as fast as we could as the cultists who followed the monster opened fire, and we barely dodged the bullets. "Superboy!" Aqualad shouted. "The support beams!" Superboy nodded, and slammed his weight into the beams on the side of the cave, weakening the ceiling. After hitting just three, the ceiling caved in behind us, and we let out sighs of relief.
Aqualad pulled out a glow stick and cracked it, bathing the cave in a dark red glow. I slumped against the wall next to Miss M, panting slightly. These boots were so not made for running. Robin sighed, looking away from us all, "How could my first mission as leader go so wrong?"
"You are the most experienced," Kaldur began. "But perhaps that has what left you the most unprepared. Fighting alongside Batman, your roles are defined, you do not need to talk. But, this team is new. The leader must be clear, explicit. He cannot vanish and expect others to play part in an unknown plan."
"So I'm just supposed to hold everyone's hands?" he replied angrily, turning around to face us. "...Oh who am I kidding? You should lead us, Kaldur, you're the only one who can."
"Please, I can run circles –" Wally began indignantly, scowling.
"Wally c'mon, you know he's the one. We all do."
"Hello Megan!" Miss M grinned. "It's obvious!"
"Could've told you," Superboy remarked, glancing at him.
It took Wally a moment, but eventually he caved, "...Okay."
Kaldur turned to me expectantly as the team waited for my answer. I glanced at them all for a moment, before cracking a smile and shaking my head. "Hey," I winked. "You got my vote."
"Then I accept the burden," he said, walking over to Robin and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Until you are ready to lift it from my shoulders. You were born to lead this team. Maybe not now, but soon."
"Not to be a, you know, noodge," I began, kicking off the wall and crossing my arms. "But we're still trapped on this island with people out to kill us. Maybe we can save the cozy Hallmark moments for later?"
"Right," Kaldur said. "Our first priority is preventing that shipment from leaving the island."
Robin grinned, "Funny, I had the same thought."
"Sportsmaster is the supplier slash buyer, but it still doesn't track. He doesn't have the juice to get the formula, or to get Kobra to do his dirty work," Robin explained as we ran through the cave.
"And neither of them have the chops to bond Blockbuster formula with Venom," Wally agreed. "That took some major nerd-age."
"I believe the expression is, tip of the iceberg," Kaldur remarked as we slowed to a stop when Bane suddenly appeared at the exit. I cussed under my breath.
"Halt, niños," Bane smirked, dropping pipe bombs onto the ground – the kind that exploded with the push of a button. "I'm feeling...explosive." It was then that we noticed that the entire entranced was laced with the same bombs, all with menacing red glowing lights.
"You betrayed us!" Aqualad accused. Wow, he actually sounded surprised about this. "Why?"
"I want my factory back."
Kid, get a running start, Aqualad said through our link, and the speedster barely nodded, before he started taking steps back farther into the cave.
"So, I forced you into a situation where you would either take down my enemies, or die trying. If the latter, the Justice League would certainly come to avenge their sidekicks. And when the smoke cleared, Santa Prisca would be mine once more! Blowing the tunnel with you inside," he held up the trigger, and KF sped by in a blur, swiping it from his hand without him even noticing. "Should have the same effect." He gave us all one final grin, before pressing his thumb down where the trigger used to be. His eyes widened in shock as he realized he was simply grasping air.
"Oh, you mean with this trigger thingy?" Wally smirked, holding up the button. Bane roared, and whirled around to punch him, just as Miss Martian lifted her hands and raised him up in the air, spinning him around to face us as KF sped away.
"Finally," Superboy smirked, pulling back his fist. "Drop him."
Apparently, Superboy was strong enough to knock out a grown, monstrous man on steroids six was to Sunday. I walked over to Bane and hopped on his chest, jumping up and down a couple of times, "Yep, he's out cold. Nice job, Supey." He nodded his thanks, and I smirked at my friends. "Is this an appropriate time to say 'I told you so?' Or should I wait until later?"
"Might as well get it over with now," Robin sighed.
"Okay, well then, I told you so!" I snickered, pointing my finger at each of them individually. "I was right! But no! Nobody listens to me! Next time, think twice before you ignore my complaints about masked villains; I may be saying something important and helpful for the future."
KF rolled his eyes, brushing past me. "...Or not."
The plan was set in motion, beginning with KF running through the clearing outside the factory, knocking down a couple cultists in his way. Superboy jumped off the ledge we both were positioned on, and landed in front of the helicopter, shaking the ground and creating a smoking crater. I followed suit quickly, grappling onto the top of the helicopter and tumbling down just as Superboy remarked, "Go again?"
The monster, who was standing next to Kobra and the strange punk girl – Shimmer, I believe – roared and charged, only to be knocked back by my sonic scream. Kaldur released a large stream of water from the water tower next to him, equaling the pressure of a firehose that sent Ugly stumbling back.
Superboy went to go after him, but was stopped by Sportsmaster, who was holding particularly menacing gun. Figuring he could handle himself – he was bulletproof, after all – I ran up to Ugly and kicked him in the jaw before he could grab me, and screamed in his ear. He doubled over, and Aqualad blasted more water at him, making him fall. The monster stood up again, holding up his arm to block the stream of water while I aimed kicks at him. I ran up to kick his jaw again, but he saw it coming, and grabbed my ankle, throwing me into the woods behind him.
And let me tell you, hitting a tree 500 yards away after being tossed by a huge monster is not pleasant. At all. Not to mention, it seems my head decided to break my fall, instead of, you know, maybe my hands.
My yelp echoed throughout the forest, and my vision swam in front of my eyes as I cradled my head. Poking some spots on my head, I felt an indentation while I hissed in pain and cursed under my breath. Yep, concussion. I didn't even know where I fucking was in this forest, and now my head hurts like a bitch and I keep losing in front of my eyes from the pain. Cursing under my breath, I began to trudge towards the direction I assumed I came from.
After about two minutes of stumbling like a drunk through the dark forest, I heard a loud whirring noise above my head and looked to see Sportsmaster's helicopter explode, bursting into flames. "Damn," I whistled, holding my head and watching the light show, squinting when I saw an object fall out. Must be Sportsmaster.
Picking up the pace, I jogged (which isn't a good idea if you have a concussion, by the way) through the rest of the forest towards the line of smoke from the helicopter, and arrived just in time to see the Voldemort look-alike (Kobra) back into the split trunk of the tree, saying, "Another time then." Robin ran after him, peering through the brush, only to find nothing. He turned around with a smirk, and walked up to Aqualad,
"We picked the right guy to lead," he said, before chuckling. "Automatically making you the right guy to explain this mess to Batman!"
We gave Aqualad sympathetic looks and Miss Martian called in the bioship to pick us up. In a matter of minutes, we were boarding, and I had gotten some ice for my back and head, courtesy of Megan. "Hey guys," I began, and they all turned their attention to me. "Does anyone want to explain to me what just happened? Because my memory is kind foggy from hitting that tree really hard."
"Nothing much," KF smirked, I can't really imagine why. "Other than the fact that we followed Bane inside a creepy, dark tunnel where he eventually betrayed us, because you thought he was telling the truth."
"Oh..." I picked up my coat, which I had taken off once we got in the ship, and threw it at him. It landed on his head covering his face, and he let out an indignant "hey!" "My memory isn't that jacked, you jerk! I know what happened then!"
He shrugged, pulling the jacket off his head as the team laughed at his expense. "Hey, it was worth a shot."
"A simple recon mission," Batman glared, pacing in front of us as we stood in our civvies the a few days later. "Observe and report. You'll each be receiving a written evaluation detailing your many mistakes. But until then, good job."
All of our heads snapped towards him in unison, completely in shock. Did he just say what I think he said? "No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy," he explained. "How you adjust to the unforeseen determines success. And how you choose who leads, determines character." Aqualad and Robin shared a smile, and I couldn't help but grin myself. This was a very pleasant change of pace. No more fighting or physical injuries! "You are dismissed."
"So...who wants to order pizza?" I asked as we all made our way toward the common room.
"Ooh! Ooh! Me!" Wally shouted, speeding ahead. "Three larges with extra everything!"
"WALLACE!" I yelled back, chasing after him as the others laughed from behind us. "DAMMIT GIVE ME THE PHONE!"
Okay, you know that thing about not fighting and physical injuries? I take it back.