Everything Is Illuminated
On Monday morning, Jo dragged herself reluctantly out of bed after a night of restless sleep, still consumed with worry about the fallout of yesterday's brunch at Café Diem, and dreading the prospect of the day ahead at GD. She was half-heartedly fixing herself a cup of decaf coffee, wearing one of her black suits for work with a scarlet cowl-necked top and her hair pulled back into her typical ponytail, when Carter barreled impatiently through her front door.
"Jo!" he shouted, looking frazzled. "Jo, where are you?" she leaned against the counter, looking tired and resigned, absentmindedly running her finger around the rim of her steaming coffee mug and staring blankly at the polished black marble of her countertop.
"Try your right, Carter," she said, and rolled her eyes. He whipped around, looking mildly chagrined.
"Jo!" he strode over to her spot by the counter then hesitated, stuffing his hands into the pants pockets of his uniform, suddenly uncomfortable. "I, ah, spoke to Zoe this morning." Jo flinched, looking pale. She wouldn't look Carter in the eye.
"How's Harvard?" she asked. Jack's bright blue eyes studied Jo speculatively, and not for the first time she hated, just a little bit, how well Carter could read her. Whatever the pompous scientists of the town might think about him, she knew he had a keen intuition about people. It had saved both of their lives on numerous occasions.
"From what I could make out, Harvard… is fine." Jo looked at him, questioning. "To tell you the truth, she was so worked up it was hard to figure out what she was saying. But from what I could make sense of, it seems to be Eureka… that has her tied up in knots." He added, throwing her a significant glance. "I don't suppose you'd know anything about that?" he asked gently, and Jo wilted a little under his compassionate gaze. She turned away from him, sipping her coffee apprehensively. After a few minutes, it became evident that Jo was not going to be the one to pursue this conversation, and so Jack made the leap forward instead.
"You know, I was at Café Diem before I came here," he said casually, and Jo froze. "Heard some interesting gossip – you know how Vincent is about those things. Some people seem to think they saw you and Zane together yesterday looking very cozy. Talking, flirting… kissing?" He said, raising his eyebrows.
"What did Zoe say?" Jo asked, quietly, studying her hands and looking pale.
"Well," Jack started, sliding onto a stool at the counter. "She did seem pretty upset," he began. "Confused, a little hurt," he said regretfully. "Ah – not so much with Zane, though. Seeing as he never actually asked her out." He added. "It was a lot more about – well, you," he admitted. "And why you would do this to her."
Jo ran a hand through her hair anxiously and blurted, "I need to sit down." She nearly ran to the armchair on the other side of the room. Jack followed her and sat down across from her, looking at her earnestly.
"Look, Jo, I've been expecting something to happen between the two of you since you rescued Zane from Mansfield, and obviously Zoe was going to be upset – but I don't understand why you haven't talked to her. You had to have known that she'd find out about Café Diem. I would've thought you'd have called her right away." His face reflected his confusion, and Jo looked stricken.
"Jack, I swear, I didn't want – " Jo started, anguished, but Jack cut her off.
"No, no, no, Jo, stop!" Jack said quickly, "I know you love Zoe. I know you would never do this to her unless you had a good reason for it. But for the life of me I can't figure out why. I mean, I know there's no way around telling her that you made a move on the guy she was interested in, but all you need to do is tell her something along the lines of 'It just happened' and, you know, apologize – over and over again. You wouldn't even really have to explain anything about altering the timeline," he pointed out. Jo sighed, leaning forward with her elbows resting on her knees and massaging her temples in an unconscious attempt to rub out the tension. Jack looked sympathetic. Jo wasn't sure she deserved it.
"You know, I meant it when I told you I wasn't okay with the two of them, Jo. You've been hurting and – it sucks." He said. "I hate seeing my favorite deputy upset without being able to do something about it. I was a few days away from offering to go to the shooting range with you, and you know how much I hate doing that," he joked, still looking concerned. "You going to tell me what's going on?" he asked evenly.
"I'm pregnant," she admitted finally, and shrugged with awkward self-consciousness.
Carter's face simultaneously lit up and softened, and Jo smiled a little despite herself. The man so had a weakness for babies.
"Jo, that's – that's great news!" he said enthusiastically. "I mean, I didn't think you'd ever – " Jo pulled away, shooting him a glare. "Er – I, ah, mean…" She took pity on him.
"You're not entirely wrong, Carter, I wasn't exactly planning on it." She said, dryly. "Of course there are a lot of things in my life right now I wasn't, strictly speaking, planning on." She crossed her arms. "Including your presence in my living room at – " she checked her watch " – 8:00 am!" She added, pointedly. Carter just grinned. "You're having a baby," he teased, drawing out the word in a sing-song voice, and Jo stretched across her coffee table to punch his arm. "Ow! Hey!" he sulked. Jo made a derisive noise.
"Who's the baby now, huh?" she smirked. Carter rolled his eyes, but looked serious.
"I get the feeling I'm still missing part of the story, Jo." He said. "What's the connection between the baby and Zoe?" he asked, even as he began trying to puzzle out her motives. Jo sighed, the previous lightheartedness dissipating quickly. She sat back against her couch, picking absentmindedly at the fabric.
"I'm two months pregnant, Jack. I can't just explain away two months of time. Zoe only told me she was interested in Zane a month ago, and you and I both know your Ivy League daughter can do basic math. There's only one way to explain this and keep the timeline change a secret, and that involves letting Zoe believe… well, letting Zoe believe I let Zane lead her on while we were messing around behind her back." Jo looked pained. "I know Zoe must be furious with me," she said in a small voice. "I'm not exactly a big fan right now either. But, Jack," she said, and looked up at him, both determined and defiant. "If it's a choice between keeping Zoe and the baby off the DOD's radar and letting Zoe hate me… I'll let Zoe hate me." Jack watched her sympathetically.
"Congratulations, Jo," he said, dead serious. "You've clearly mastered the first rule of parenthood." Jo raised a tired eyebrow at him, and he elaborated. "The kid always comes first." Jo smiled at him weakly.
"It's not as if I'm lacking fringe benefits here, Carter." She pointed out. Jack gave her an unconvinced half-smile, shaking his head.
"I wouldn't sell myself short if I were you, Jo. The way things were, I was starting to think you really wouldn't give in to the way you felt about the guy. But things went and changed on you, just like they always do in this town. To tell you the truth, I'm glad they did. I know you're upset about Zoe but – you seem better. Happier." Jo put her head in her hands.
"I know," she groaned. "I'm going straight to hell," she muttered, muffled. Jack shook his head, determined to get through to her.
"Jo, how many times have I made decisions for Zoe that she really didn't like?" he prodded, gently, and Jo looked at him incredulously.
"Carter, I think that covers almost every decision you've ever made for Zoe." She pointed out, amused. He hmmed thoughtfully.
"Yep, that sounds about right," he responded, with slightly forced cheer, then locked eyes with her, leaning forward intently.
"And have I ever let fighting with Zoe get in the way of making the right decision for her?" Jack prompted, watching Jo carefully.
"No," she muttered, recognizing the trap she'd laid for herself. "You've never let Zoe change your mind once it was made up, and you're almost always right in the end." Jack smiled victoriously and settled back against the couch, eyebrows raised expectantly. "And I shouldn't let her either," she finished with a sigh. "But Jack, that's not how this is going to look to her," she pointed out. "This is just going to look like someone she trusted betraying her." Jack's smile faded and he looked at Jo seriously.
"I know. This isn't going to be easy on her," he admitted. "And I know it won't be easy for you, either, Jo. The important thing is that you know you haven't done anything wrong. And, for what it's worth," he added, "this is exactly what I would have asked you to do."
"That doesn't mean I like it!" If she was anyone else, she might have pouted. Carter offered her a self-satisfied smile.
"It only seems fair that you get to be the object of Zoe's wrath for once," he teased her, gently. "Maybe I want to be 'good cop' this time!" Jo's lips tightened with irritation, but she had to concede the point to Carter. She'd always been a friend and sometime mentor to Zoe. She'd never really had to play – inwardly Jo rolled her eyes and gritted her teeth. Damn Zane for coming up with the term – the Enforcer with Zoe.
"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" Jo asked him quietly. He only hesitated for a second.
"What I think is that Zoe only ever had a crush on Zane. He never made her any promises, and eventually she'll admit she never really had any claim on him." He paused. "Jo, Zoe loves you, too. If she knew what was really going on, she would only want you to be happy. Eventually, when she sees you happy – and you will be happy, Jo, don't you even try to argue with me – she'll remember what was really important to her in the first place. Right now, you need to focus on your kid," he finished. "You can let me be the one to focus on mine, for a while." Jo flashed him a subdued, but grateful, smile. Seeing her start to relax, Carter grinned in response. "Besides, Zoe's not allowed to date until she's thirty. Zane will be an old man by then, so really you're just doing her a favor." Jo rolled her eyes.
"Right, Carter. Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night." She shot back at him, and he smiled in genuine pleasure, glad to see some of her usual spunk returning. He stood up and stretched. "Josefina becomes a mother." He laughed. "Yep, this'll be fun." She narrowed her eyes at him.
"You know, just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I've forgotten how to operate my gun," she reminded him sharply. His grin read Uh-huh, heard that one before, Lupo, loud and clear. Checking his watch, he started moving for the door. "Well, the town can't police itself. I'd better go do the whole Sheriff thing. See you later, Jo." He said, amused with his own wit. Jo flashed a smile back at him.
"See you at the next disaster site, Carter," she said, and he whirled around.
"Don't say that! You're just tempting fate!" He said, eyes wide and arms flailing, and Jo smirked to herself.
"Bye Carter," she said smugly. He gave her a fond smile.
"Later, Jo," he replied, and walked through the door with a spring in his step and, she suspected, a whistle on his lips. She shook her head. Oh, Carter, you are such a cliché sometimes.
Jo rested her head lightly on her steepled fingers, propping her elbows on her desk and eying the pile of paperwork in front of her. She'd started out her day by making the rounds through the labs, as she'd become accustomed to doing. It was a tedious, thankless process, but it was also what the rest of the world expected to see from the Jo Lupo of the altered timeline, and she couldn't afford to let that fall entirely by the wayside. Especially considering what she'd put at risk in order to maintain that illusion, she thought, sighing as she remembered her talk with Jack that morning. Bearing the weight of Zoe's safety wouldn't be worth much if she couldn't convince the rest of the world that she was the same Jo Lupo they'd always known. But as she entered lab after lab, she'd begun to notice peculiar undertones to the hushed conversations taking place around her. Ever since the timeline had changed, Jo had found herself faced with a certain degree of antagonism from the occasional faction of struggling scientists in GD who had been most frequently under the scrutiny of Director Fargo's 'Enforcer,' so she'd grown accustomed to a certain level of ill-will within the most frequently tyrannized labs, such as Dr. Parrish's. But the acrimony of those labs had always been balanced by an affable relationship with the more successful, well-funded labs – those which had no animosity towards Director Fargo, many of which furthermore disliked and resented Zane's disruptive presence in the community and had on occasion been retaliated against by Zane himself.
Those once-amicable labs were now coldly polite, tension seething beneath the thin veneer of professionalism, and with a sinking feeling Jo had realized that the fallout from their scene yesterday in Café Diem had proven to have a far wider ranging effect than she had ever imagined. Jo found herself retreating for her office, preferring to do paperwork in disgrace than face the hostility that practically vibrated out of the labs. Zane had been leery of this plan, Jo remembered, and she had an unsettling feeling that this was part of his reason. He knew the reality of ostracism in Eureka all too well. Jo's eyes flickered to her clock. It would be a long day for the Chief of Security.
Unfortunately for Zane, he did not have the privilege of an office to retreat to when the atmosphere at GD got to be too much for him. Not even the lab he worked in was private enough for the purpose. Parrish had been throwing him incredulous looks all day, and in whispered conversations behind his back he'd heard numerous comments regarding his sudden inclination toward 'licking the Enforcer's boots' and 'sucking up to Director Fargo.' Not much effort was put into keeping those opinions quiet, and it was only through sheer strength of will and the memory of Jo's tearstained face from Saturday that Zane refrained from silencing them with blunt force. By one o'clock, he'd taken all he could handle.
"I'm out," he announced abruptly, tossing a half-wired gadget onto Parrish's desk with a loud clatter. Parrish's lips thinned with irritation.
"You can't just leave – Director Fargo wants this done in two weeks and we're not even halfway close! You ought to be working overtime, if anything."
"Oh, hadn't you heard?" Zane sneered. "I'm screwing the Enforcer. I can do whatever the hell I want," He spun on his heels and slammed through the door to the lab, leaving behind a lab stunned silent. A weak voice piped up hopefully,
"Does that mean they'll push our deadline back?" Parrish massaged the bridge of his nose between his fingers in frustration.
Much later that night, Zane pulled into his driveway, deposited his motorcycle in the garage and retrieved the Café Diem take-out from his saddlebag. Heaving a sigh, he unlocked his front door and stepped inside, discarding his boots and leather jacket in the front hall. If possible, the situation at Café Diem – Zoe's former workplace – had been even icier than he'd imagined. He was half-convinced Vincent had spat in his food. After two years as a barely-tolerated interloper in this town, he'd known what to expect from the fallout; but it made his inability to defend himself no less frustrating. Of course, he was well aware that some of their ire was well deserved – it was at least true that he had been stringing Zoe along for quite a while – but he and Jo had become the most hated couple in Eureka with unprecedented speed. Still, the town seemed to have bought their ploy. Oh, they weren't completely convinced – from what he could gather, consensus seemed to be that he must be blackmailing Lupo – but she hadn't been a big favorite in Eureka, either, since she'd started working for Director Fargo. He'd only seen the occasional glimpses of Lupo throughout the day, but she'd looked flustered, and he had no doubt that she'd been getting snide looks herself. No, the sympathy of the public rested squarely with Zoe Carter.
He had, however, been surprised by the general absence of Sheriff Carter from his day – a surprise which rapidly evaporated when a soft knock came from the doorway to his kitchen, as he unpacked his gradually cooling dinner. He spun around in surprise and was instantly put on guard by Carter's presence. Carter held up both hands and smiled disarmingly.
"You're safe," he said. "Look, no guns." Zane watched him skeptically. One of these days, he knew, it was inevitable that he'd cross the wrong line and drive Carter to the end of his rope, and this business with Zoe was by far the most personal he'd ever taken things with Carter. It had been, he reflected, all-around ill-considered. Hindsight really was 20/20, after all. "I spoke to Jo this morning – and Zoe," Carter added, and Zane couldn't help the frown that flashed across his face. Jo could have at least given him a head's up so he'd know what to expect from Carter. It was disconcerting and exhausting, he thought, the way he no longer knew where he stood with these people. Zane loved puzzles, but it wasn't nearly as fun when somebody else had all the pieces, and handed them out sparingly.
"I wanted to thank you," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the doorway, and Zane's head snapped up. Thank him? For crushing his daughter's heart? Up until today Zane would have bet good money that not even an alternate timeline could persuade Carter to think well of that. He met Carter's overly perceptive blue gaze with distrust.
"Really," Zane said, face unreadable. "What for? Leading your daughter on, breaking her heart, arranging public humiliation for her and Lupo…?" he suggested caustically. Carter watched him, looking speculative, and Zane had the disconcerting feeling that the man was reading him like an open book. He didn't like it, at all.
"For keeping my daughter safe," Carter said finally. "Even if it means the whole town thinks you've led her on, broken her heart and, yes, publicly humiliated her with the woman she loves like a sister." Carter studied him carefully. "I can't imagine that it's been easy for you." He said slowly.
"You don't know me, Carter," Zane snapped, eyes like twin chips of blue ice, "Don't make the mistake of thinking you do." Jack offered him a conciliatory smile.
"Maybe so, Zane," he said, choosing to concede the point. As he'd said to Henry when the timeline had first been altered, people are who they are. And once upon a time, Jack had known Zane; had caught Zane proposing to the woman that Jack loved like another daughter – had seen the pain on his face firsthand when Jo froze. People are who they are, in the end. Jack was sure of it, and even if he hadn't been, everything he knew about this Zane brought him to the same conclusion.
"Just the same – thanks." He said simply, turning to go out the door. He paused and looked back, hand still resting on the frame. "And congratulations, by the way," Zane's face went carefully blank, and Jack strode out the door, confident that things were going to work themselves out.
Across town, Jo was contemplating her open cell phone as if a sudden move might prompt it to attack. Hesitantly she raised the phone to her ear.
"Zoe Carter," she instructed the phone, and heard the immediate click as the phone began to dial. She waited with baited breath and sank into her armchair, nearly boneless with relief, when she heard her pick up. There was a measured silence, and then both voices broke into well-rehearsed speeches at the same time.
"Jo, what the hell – "
"Zoe, I am so sorry, we should have told you – " Then silence. Zoe was first to break the verbal ceasefire.
"Jo, I am trying not to jump to conclusions here, but what the hell." She said again, with outrage in her voice. On the other end of the line, Jo heartily wished she could cease to exist. This was quite possibly the worst phone call of her life. She swallowed deeply, but the lump in her throat wouldn't go away. She pulled her knees up to her chest defensively and wrapped her free arm around them.
"Zoe, it's hard to explain, but – Zane and I, we've been… involved." For a moment, silence reigned. Then –
"I'm sorry, what do you mean – been involved?" Zoe said, starting to catch on, voice rising. Jo steeled herself for what she had to do next, closing her eyes and gripping the arm of the couch tightly.
"For two months," she said, voice barely a whisper, face twisted with anguish. She hated, hated, hated this. There was a long pause.
"And you thought – what, it would be funny to just, not mention this, say, a month ago? Maybe around the time you told me I could talk to you about anything?" Zoe said, getting increasingly worked up as she thought about the past month – then it hit her and she paused. "Oh, god," Zoe got out, sounding strangled. Uncertain what to say, Jo let her finish the thought. "You did try to tell me – " she said, verging on hysterical. Not exactly, Jo thought, but it wasn't so far from the truth, in the end. " – all that stuff you said about it not being a date, and how I could always talk to you – I'm such an idiot – but Jo, god, how could you not tell me?" she finished, sounding distraught. Jo took this as her cue.
"Zoe, I'm so sorry. I know this isn't a very good excuse, but – I was scared," True. "I didn't know where things were going between us," Definitely true, Jo admitted. "And I – I was worried about the consequences if things between us went public – especially at work," True, though not so much for the reasons given. Jo found she was picking at the fabric of her new couch again. She would really have to lose that habit before she made the thing go bald. She stilled her hand with effort. "Things were still… casual… between us." Only if you count engagement rings as casual, she thought. "I mean, you know what we were like in the past – there were a lot of issues to be worked out." If only I knew what they were. "I know it's cowardly, and it's not a good enough reason to let you down like this…" I wish I could tell you what is, "But I guess I was hoping that things would just work themselves out when you got back to school, and I wouldn't have to worry about it," she finished with a sigh. "Like I said, cowardly. I wasn't expecting him to take me by surprise in Café Diem, or that the news would spread so fast," she admitted, wincing. Sorry Zane, she thought, I know you're not enjoying having this pinned on you. "I hope someday I'll be able to make it up to you," she said, sadly and with the utmost sincerity. Zoe gave a watery chuckle from the other end of the line, sniffling slightly and tearing Jo's heart in two.
"You'd better find something really damn good to grovel with, then," she joked weakly, and Jo smiled faintly.
"How about a pony?" she suggested; trying, and succeeding, in making Zoe laugh.
"Please. You owe me a tattoo." The edges of Jo's lips twitched up, just a little.
"Zo, there aren't enough guns in the world to make your father agree to that." She bantered feebly. "But," she added, more serious, "If it would help, I would try." Zoe giggled a little despite herself, and Jo could hear Zoe's clothes rustle over the phone when Zoe moved to wipe away a few stray tears.
"I think I need some time, Jo," Zoe said quietly. "But I appreciate the apology, and the explanation. I guess late is better than never. Oh," she added as an afterthought, "Tell my Dad we talked, okay? He kept telling me I needed to talk to you, not him. I kind of ripped him a new one earlier, though I still think he knew something he wasn't saying," she said pointedly, but Jo remained silent. Zoe sighed. "Keep your secrets then," she said, resigned. "Bye, Jo."
"Bye, Zoe," Jo responded; then, uncomfortably and surprisingly emotional: "Love you."
Click, said the dial tone, and Jo's shoulders slumped in defeat. She pulled herself up from the couch, feeling suddenly ancient and exhausted. As if on autopilot, she dragged herself to her room, climbed into bed, and drifted into an uneasy sleep.
Disclaimer: I so do not own Eureka. If I did I wouldn't spend time wondering when it would air again because it would air, like 24/7.
A/N: So this chapter was... difficult. I was crazy nervous about publishing it. It was supposed to be emotionally charged but also expositional. I think I seriously rewrote each scene at least once. I tried them multiple ways and I couldn't make up my mind about ANY of them. Well, that's not entirely true - I immediately loved the Parrish scene. Zane gets to really break out the jackass there. I went in a totally different direction with Carter, twice, in case you were wondering - somewhere along the line, rewatching episodes... I realized there was just no way Carter was going to fight with Jo, and things sort of progressed from there. As for Jo and Zoe... I tried, and I tried, and I tried to get that perfect, but I don't think I get Zoe, much as I like her, so that was rough. If I were Zoe, at least, forgiveness would not be out of the question.
Anyways, what I'm really trying to say here is, if you thought this chapter had any redeeming qualities, please leave a review and let me know because I'm afraid I will hit a writer's block like a wall of concrete on Chapter 7 if I don't get positive reinforcement for this particular chapter. Yes, the implication there is that Chapter 6 is finished (for the time being).
Peace out!