Hey guys, here's another update! So far I've written up to chapter 12. Not gonna lie, I've been struggling due to work and social life etc! But I am doing my best and your comments are what gets me through! thank you to the reviews so far; I appreciate it! Hopefully you'll like this one. It's kind of a mixed point of view chapter. It's only fair we hear Brittany's side so we know what she's thinking! Anyway, rant over. Comments and reviews are appreciated! THANK YOU!
Brittany was in a state of total confusion. What the hell happened? How long was has she been in coma? The doctor ran through information with her but he kept using big words and she just lost track of what he was saying. Then they took her to undergo loads and loads of tests, going through machines that looked like alien spaceships and she thought she was getting experimented on which really panicked her but the young nurse reassured her that everything was going to be okay. It was such a long, tiring day of tests and what not, the doctors asking her some questions, possibly testing her memory. This worried her again because she's never been really good at tests and her memory isn't that great either. She didn't want to fail and be kept in this hospital for another week.
Although she was going through all these complex procedures, her mind wanders back to someone in her room. Santana. It was the way her features shifted when she opened her eyes to find Brittany awake. She was genuinely happy, and it was a surprise to Brittany because for the last two months, eye contact was a rare thing from Santana. Heck, trying to get a smile to crawl up her luscious lips was a task as impossible as living on Mars. Yet, there she was, on her crutches, standing beside the bed, smiling her face off. She swore she would have jumped if her current physical situation allowed her to. Brittany was happy of course, to see her like this. She was relieved. But the question that remained in her head was, "Did I have to almost die, for her to forgive me?" and it bothered her because she's not usually the type of person who would analyze situations so deeply, but here she was lying on the bed that's been wheeled around the corridor thinking about it.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt the bed coming to a complete halt. She's back in her room, and Santana was getting up from the couch with some difficulty. She hobbled towards her bed, still smiling, and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Hi." She greeted, meekly but with an obvious tone of excitement.
"Hey, San." she glanced up meeting intense dark brown eyes; signs that she'd been crying were quite obvious.
"Britt, I'm so happy you're awake. You have no idea. I'm so sorry about everything that's— "she began but was unexpectedly cut off by the blonde.
"San, not right now. Please. I need some time to process everything." She found the words escaping her lips before they even passed through her brain.
Santana's features curled up in confusion, "What do you mean?"
"I, Well, I remember not ending things well before the crash," she started. What was she trying to say here? "And, this doesn't mean things are back to the way they were."
The brunette bowed her head in sadness. Brittany had the right to be upset with her and what the hell was she on, thinking that when Brittany wakes up everything would be back to the way they were? "I understand, Britt. I'll give you time, all the time you want."
"Thank You, Santana."
Santana took the blonde's hand in her own and squeezed it gently. "I do want you to know that I am sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me anytime soon because what I did to you was unforgivable and I kick myself everyday for it. Also, this whole thing just confirmed something—I love you more than anything in this life. Heck, you are my life Britt. I just want to tell you because I've realized that time is something we should never take for granted."
Brittany looked at Santana, her eyes searching the brown eyes that cried in front of her. She squeezed her hand back, "I love you too, San. I just need some time okay?"
"Okay." The Latina whispered against Brittany's temple as she planted a kiss.
Time passed by quickly for both of them. They chatted casually, Santana was trying to bite her tongue most of the time to stop herself from blurting out some emotional bullshit because she was trying to fulfill Brittany' request from earlier on. She wanted time and Santana is trying her best to postpone important talks because it's what her girlfriend wants and after everything else, it was the least she could do for her. However, it wasn't easy. The Latina is fully aware that time means nothing at all. A second, a minute, an hour, a day, a month, a year...infinity? It doesn't mean anything because she has recently discovered that you can lose the people you love any fucking time. She's been through this now, twice, and it bothered her that she can't tell Brittany all the things she wants to say. Tomorrow is another day and what if something happens, what if something went wrong, what if—
"San, are you okay?" Brittany asked, the brunette has that look on her face, the one that indicates she was deep in thought.
Santana turned to face her girlfriend and smiled, "Yeah babe, I'm fine. I just, I'm so happy."
The blonde returned the smile, although she knew there were a lot of things to be sorted in the future, she was also happy just being here, talking about nothing important. Just like the good old days.
"Oh my goodness, Britt! I'm so glad you're back!" they heard a familiar voice making them turn to the doorway to see the very excited Rachel Berry carrying a gigantic bouquet of flowers with Quinn a few steps behind her, smiling widely. The shorter brunette ran to the bed, dumping the bouquet on the sofa. She hugged Brittany gently.
"It's good to see you too Rach! Hi Quinn!" she greeted. Quinn, took the seat next to Santana, offering her an "I'm glad she's back look."
"Hey, Britt, so glad you've decided to come back and join us." Quinn joked. "How are you feeling?"
Brittany looked over to Santana who has now turned quiet, still stuck in her deep thoughts. "Uhm, yeah okay, I guess. I'm glad some of the wires are off me. They took me to those weird rooms with machines that look like space ships. It was an experience. How have you guys been?"
Rachel took this opportunity to speak for both of them, like most times. Quinn and Santana just gave each other the "yeah, it's Rachel" look. "Oh Brittany, we have been so utterly worried about you and Santana. She has been a wreck, crying like a baby. I'm just so overly thrilled you're okay now."
Brittany flashed Santana a knowing look. "I'm glad I'm back too. I've missed you guys."
"So have you heard if they're going to discharge you soon?" Quinn asked.
"I'm not sure yet," she replied turning to Santana, "San?"
Santana once again, went back to reality, "Uhm, they said atleast couple of days, B. They're just making sure everything is okay."
"And what are the arrangements? Who's going to take care of you guys?" Rachel asked curiously.
Santana hasn't really thought about it. "I'll take care of Britt, of course."
"San, you're still in crutches. I don't want you to tire yourself out. I should really call my mom, or sister. Maybe they can pick me up; I could stay with them for a while." Brittany stated. This is really the first time she mentioned moving out again.
Sadness flashed on the Latina's features and Quinn and Rachel were very quick to notice.
"No guys. Quinn and I both talked to our bosses and they've allowed us a week off each, not on the same week, so that will be two weeks. We can totally help right, babe?" Rachel eyed Quinn, she needed no words to portray her conviction.
"Yes, that's right. So there's absolutely no need to call your mom or sister Britt, apart from, of course, telling them that you're awake. They live miles away, we can handle it, and Santana's getting better every day. She'll be up and running in no time." Quinn replied, giving the Latina's shoulder a squeeze.
Brittany was hesitant but Quinn was right, there was no point of dragging her mother all the way out to L.A. to see her like this. She'll just worry and stress too much and she's not exactly getting any younger and her sister would be too busy with the kids, she doesn't really want to take her away and let her young family deal without her. She felt bad for dropping the idea to Santana just like that and now, the brunette's feature were wrapped in a look of melancholy and hasn't said much since. She just sat there, looking at Brittany with pleading eyes, asking her not to leave.
"You're right. That's probably for the best. Thank you in advance." Brittany smiled.
They continued their casual chat and the atmosphere lightened up a bit, although in the corner of her eyes, she swore she saw Santana wipe an unwanted tear on her cheek.
When Brittany, Quinn and Rachel were chatting animatedly about life in general, she saw her opportunity to slip out of the room, giving the classic "toilet break excuse" before hobbling towards the comfort of her own hospital room. She sat down on her bed still trying to process what just happened during their conversation a few moments ago. Brittany still wanted to move out, of course she did. And this has been the first time that it dawned on Santana. It never really crossed her mind that one day, Britt would jump ship. It's not her fault, it's the situation. The Latina never anticipated this because from the very beginning, the blonde was always sure of herself regarding their situation. She was very vocal about her attraction with Santana, about having feelings for her; about everything that eventually lead them to being together, together.
It was different for Santana. She knew she was attracted to Brittany, she knew she wanted to be with her and she knew exactly when she fell in love with her but the difference is that she kept it to herself. She denied it; fought it, for a very long time because that's who she is. She's the girl who never let her emotional guard down because she was afraid of getting attached because she knew it would only lead to heart ache at the end of the day. On the other hand, Brittany, when she wanted something, when she feels something, she's not ashamed to say it because she's the type of person who believes on acting on how you feel. To her, there was no point in wasting time, she knew what she wanted and she knew what she wanted to do about it. It's what makes Brittany so special. So for her to tell the brunette implicitly that she wanted out of their apartment was a major deal. She seemed sure about it and Santana can't really do much to change her mind. Where was her good argument? She hasn't exactly been "girlfriend of the year" for the past few months so it would be more difficult for her to convince to stay. Yes, she'll be staying for the time being but in the pit of the brunette's gut, she knew that as soon as Brittany recovers, she'd find a way to walk out the door; in the nicest way possible, only leaving Santana to regret every fucking day even more.
"A penny for your thoughts?" a voice asked, she looked up to find Quinn standing at her doorway, sporting a concerned smile.
Santana forced a smile back, "It's nothing, really Q. You and Rachel have done more than enough; you didn't need to volunteer to babysit us for two weeks. I could have managed."
"What, with your expert hobbling skills?" she jokes walking towards the brunette, sitting on the bed, "Besides I know you guys would do the same thing for us. You're family, Santana. We stick together."
"Wow, you're like a hallmark advert." She laughed lightly.
"At least I made you laugh. You've been very quiet today. It's disconcerting. Aren't you supposed to be jumping, well at least trying, up and down?"
"I'm beyond happy, Q. I'm so fucking relieved she's awake and she seems great..." she paused, trying to gather the right words.
"But..." Quinn starts, sensing her friend's doubt.
"But, I don't think she wants to be with me anymore. I think she really did make her mind up that night. And Q, I can't see her leave me. I just can't." Her eyes filled with tears that she tried to hold back.
Quinn rested her hand on Santana's leg; this seems to be their new thing. "Santana, it's probably best if you give her some time to think. I think right now, you just need to be there for her. Show her that you're there. You're Brittany and Santana, and I believe that you guys will find your way back."
"What if we don't?" she questioned looking at hazel eyes with such a pained expression.
"Don't let that be an option. You guys have been through so much. You've had arguments, fights, misunderstandings and you pulled through it all. Why let this one be any different?"
"Because a life was lost and another life was almost lost. It's not just another misunderstanding, Q. It's different." She reasoned out.
"But the way you love her is still the same, and I can see in her eyes that that's also the case for her. Fight for her Santana, and this time, don't postpone it or I will personally kick your ass." She smiled at her friend, reaching over to wipe a tear off her face.
"You're the best, Q." She leaned over to give her a hug.
"I get that a lot." Quinn joked as she shrugged her shoulders.
Still more trouble in paradise? I'm loving Quinntana friendship btw! These two are totally bros!