Aro's Cold Heart

by Corinne Tate

On Hiatus never thought I'd type those words. Unless my wayward muse comes back, this one's just going to have to sit on the back burner indefinitely. An outtake from Cold Fragile Hearts. This is Aro's beginning, and what happened when Joham came to Volterra.

3. Part III

Part III

We gathered; robed and cowled in frightening perfection. Each of us took our place in our deadly formation. Our wives brought up the rear, which was my suggestion. Caius believed it was the place that offered them the most protection, but I knew the rear could also be a target for surprise attack. I had been trained in military tactics by the best warriors on the planet. It gave me a perverse sense of satisfaction to have my wife in a place of potential danger, while she thought she was being protected.

We had our witnesses as well – hungry, undisciplined vampires who would gladly pick off the weak. As we marched into the clearing that day, I felt such a sense of anticipation. Soon – perhaps even that very night – I would bring my Alice into my bed and my arms.

But they had prepared as well. Their side was small and insignificant next to ours, but it was still more than we had expected. It was just enough opposition that we paused.

I've often wondered what would have happened had we charged in as we'd originally planned. Certainly many would have died, and I'm sure my wife would have been among them, as the giant wolves patrolled the perimeter. I believe I would have survived, as I was positioned amid so many defenders.

Alice too would have survived, as she would have arrived too late to fight with her family. Though I could imagine taking her from the conflict as spoils of war, I know she would never be grateful to me, once I allowed her mate to be destroyed. In all of my fantasies, I could never convince her that she should yield to me and love me.

If we'd charged that day, we may have sated Caius' need for blood. Perhaps we could have postponed our meeting with Joham. I wonder what he would have done if allowed to continue unmolested for a few hundred years more. I can't help but imagine a hybrid army marching against both vampire and human alike. It's useless to play such mind games.

We did not charge that day.

It was only when I finally had the chance to see the child for myself that I realized what was wrong with the vision Irina had shown me. She had green eyes! Impossibly she was a supernatural creature born – not created – of a human girl. Edward Cullen and his singer, Isabella, had created a marvel. No matter what Caius said, it was clear she posed no more danger than the rest of us. She wasn't out of control at all. She sat atop an enormous wolf, and I had to give her mother credit for her forethought. The very child we'd come to destroy, could easily have been the only one to survive.

Once we spoke to them, our whole strategy needed to change. I was caught off guard when Caius had the woman Irina destroyed for lying. It was a perfect indicator that he wouldn't easily back down.

He was angry, and I'm sure I was at least part of the reason he was so furious. The wolves unnerved him greatly, and I'd kept this knowledge from him. As we pretended to confer over whether the child should live or die, we were trying to figure a way to salvage as much as we could from the confrontation. Caius wanted the child destroyed, likely guessing that the Cullen's would fight to save her, and he would get his battle.

I truly wanted nothing more than to go home. Alice wasn't anywhere in the gathering. In preparation for the potential fight, Alec turned his power on the group we faced. We were trying to decide who we would keep, and who we would destroy, when there was a commotion.

Alec failed.

Jane instantly knew we'd been defeated, and when she tried to use her power against Bella, she too failed. I was again dumbfounded – the girl was a shield! Not just a shield, but the most powerful shield I'd ever seen. She made Renata's ability seem pathetic in comparison. She had their whole side guarded, rendering every mental power on our side absolutely useless.

We stood poised on the brink of a battle we were less certain of winning, when she arrived. My Alice. Accompanying her was of course her husband. But there was also a man who moved like us, but whose heart beat in his warm-blooded chest. Bella and Edward had done the seemingly impossible, but they were not the first. It was the first time we'd heard the name Joham. I only wish it could have been the last.

Failures on all sides forced us to withdraw. Caius fumed all the way back to Volterra, and even before our plane landed he had a plan to make "them" suffer. "Them" happened to be anyone who wasn't strongly allied with us. He wanted to hunt down those who'd fled from the conflict, but more than that, he wanted to find and punish Joham.

Once we were back in Volterra, I had to come up with something to slow him down. We'd already lost a lot of credibility among those who'd witnessed our defeat. I wasn't anxious to run off and start another war.

"Shouldn't we first see what kind of dangers are posed by the hybrids?" I of course had Edward's memories of the gestation and birth of his child. But his recollections were so emotional, it was hard to understand everything that had been involved. It was evident that his wife didn't survive the birth. It was also clear that Joham's children also destroyed their mothers.

I wish I could say I was concerned for the mothers of these half-breed children. But I'm a vampire who feeds on human victims, and these women were nothing to me. So when Caius suggested, as I'd lead him, that we should create our own half vampire offspring, I was in agreement. It was at least a postponement of another battle. It took his focus away from his anger at me.

As little as I cared for women, it became strangely important to find just the right candidates for our own offspring. We'd decided that the three of us would each make the attempt, as we were the oldest, and most likely to have the necessary control. For Sulpicia's benefit, I had propagated the lie that I had sexual relations with some of my female victims. I never did. Indeed the very idea was repugnant to me. I wasn't sure I had the necessary control it would take.

We began the search for our candidates. Typically we hunt from those forgotten people society won't miss. Prostitutes, drug addicts, runaways, drunks, and physically and mentally ill were all good sources of food. But they wouldn't do as mothers for our children. It took time, and we made trips to other cities in search of just the right young women to fulfill our needs.

Marcus was the first to succeed. He found her in a nightclub in Milan, and with his considerable charm, he wooed her away from her friends. Her name was Tamara, and she was exquisite. I was instantly jealous when I saw her, until I noticed her resemblance to Didi. His seduction took her from the nightclub, to a hotel room, where he continued to ply her with alcohol. He never told me with his words, but I read it from his mind how she was barely conscious when he took her the first time.

We drove back to Volterra with a bound captive. Marcus left her no opportunity to escape, and he had her bound to his bed for the month it took to impregnate her. Before she conceived, Caius kidnapped a young student from a tour. Yanna was blond, frail and lovely, and he locked her into a cell in the lower levels to keep his wife from finding out. He was perhaps too enthusiastic in fornicating with the girl, and she was covered in serious bruises the next day when I saw her. She looked as if she'd been beat up. I held out little hope for her survival.

I found the mother of my child in the most unlikely of places. I went with Heidi as she went to her favorite hunting grounds. It was in a mental hospital where I caught sight of the girl. She was young and beautiful, and at first I didn't realize why I was attracted to her. Then it hit me – she was like Alice from the memories I had of her from her husband.

The girl was locked in her own mind from an injury to her brain. I only knew her name from the bracelet on her wrist. Touching her was like hearing white noise in my mind. Rachele was easy to take. I merely held her hand and walked away with her while the guards were distracted.

I rationalized that in choosing her, I was allowing a healthy girl to live. I saw her as existing, rather than living, and I could tell from her condition that she wouldn't be terribly missed. And of course there was the mind I couldn't read. As much as I admired Marcus' captive, I knew I could never choose a woman who would revile me even in her thoughts. And so I chose her, thinking of her as an empty vessel to carry my seed.

Before I would lie with her, she needed attention, and I asked Jane for help. The girl was marginally clean, but she was a mess, with her hair in a nest and dirt under her ragged nails. She looked barely female in the hospital clothes. Jane didn't let me down.

I was stunned when she presented me with a living doll. She had shoulder length auburn hair that curled around her face; which was beautiful for a human. Jane had given a light touch of make-up to her visage, and dressed her in a satin nightgown. Her nails were clean and polished, and she smelled wonderful. Her blue eyes looked right through took her leave, and I lead Rachele to my bed.

Even though she was unresponsive, I still treated her as a woman. I kissed her and held her, and told her she was beautiful. When I exposed her womanly flesh, I forced myself to go slow, and I explored her with my hands and mouth. It was torture! I wanted her badly, and yet I was confronted with the vileness of my acts. She could neither say yes nor no to my attentions. I was a vampire who had murdered countless humans. But I had never raped even one.

Rachele was the first. I was as gentle as a vampire could be. I'd ruined my wife, Sulpicia with my lack of restraint, I would never make such a mistake again. Owing to Edward's memories, I'd brought a heavy iron bar to cling to so I wouldn't crush her. Still, she pushed my limits! She was everything Sulpicia was not. She was soft, warm, and yielding, and I confess I enjoyed coupling with her. In fact for three weeks I spent a great deal of time making love with the girl. Yes, I called it making love, as it hurt my soul to think of it as anything else.

I could tell almost immediately when Rachele conceived, from her scent and the changes in her body alone. Marcus had already impregnated Tamara, and she was suffering with everything her child was doing to her. I was surprised how the baby Tamara carried stole everything from her. It soon became obvious to me that the half vampire babies were an affliction imposed on these mothers. They were not normal and they were not easy for them to carry. We knew to feed them blood and we knew to keep them warm, but other than that, we were helpless to watch what happened to them.

In a short time, Marcus came to care for Tamara, and he braved her hate-filled tirades to spend hours with her. Somewhere in the midst of her pregnancy, she softened toward him. I think she finally realized she couldn't possibly live through her ordeal. She understood that he was a vampire, and she was about to give birth to something inhuman. She went from anger at what he'd done to her, to begging him to save her life.

I was there when the time came, and just seeing what it did to her made me hate what I'd done to Rachele, who was only two weeks behind Tamara in her gestation. I wished I could take it all back. Feeding on our human prey is usually quick and mostly painless. But what Tamara went through was neither. It was made worse because she reminded me so much of Didi. I'd seen countless vampires go through the change, but this was different. This wasn't about her death and conversion, this was an attack from inside her own body.

We knew we had to cut her human flesh to reach it, but we didn't expect it would fight so hard to be free. I heard her bones snap. I watched her as she was in complete terrified agony. Her injuries would eventually kill her, but it would be a slow death. He tore the infant from her with his teeth, like Edward before him. He placed the bloody infant girl in the mother's slack arms. He'd decided to change Tamara, and he bit her then, before she bled out.

When the change started, I took the baby from her convulsing arms. I cleaned her up, and listened to her first soft cries amid her mother's shrieks. Marcus sat with Tamara and I took the baby girl out of his room. He had almost nothing prepared for a baby. I fed her from the stores of donated blood we used for the mothers. Her sharp teeth punctured the nipple of the bottle I offered, but she drank hungrily.

Clean, fed, and wrapped in blankets, she fell asleep in my arms. She was a treasure. She had long dark eyelashes, soft black curls, and a rosebud mouth. It was a pity she was female.

We have people – humans who do the mundane things we cannot. Someone has to sweep away the cobwebs and maintain the facilities. Someone has to shop for various necessities. I charged one of these humans with outfitting a nursery. The child grew so fast, she needed new clothes almost daily. Fortunately it was no longer my concern, as Tamara came through her change and Marcus took care of the child. Tamara was unable to be around the baby, as it was too much temptation for her to feed on the girl.

All the fuss connected with the baby, made Athenodora curious to find out what secrets we were hiding. She discovered Caius' prisoner in the cellar. I will never understand what drove that woman. She was enraged to know he was fornicating with another woman. But the expected response would have been to feed on the girl, not move her into her suite!

The tiny blond woman he'd chosen was not faring well with his treatment. His wife saved her life, which would have been admirable if that's all she did. Caius insisted he would impregnate the girl, and give the baby to his wife. Athenodora did the unthinkable, and I know only because I read her thoughts. She was there during their couplings! In fact she was the one who sated his sexual appetite, and only turned him over to the girl long enough to spill his seed.

All of us went down dark paths on our fools quest. I am a lesser man, because of what I did.

As much as I dreaded it, Rachele's time came. We had been expecting it, and I was unwilling to watch her go through the same agony Tamara had suffered. I had her drugged at the first sign of the impending birth. I wasted no time in cutting her open to retrieve the child. She neither spoke nor screamed. I also did as Edward Cullen had done, and injected her with my venom in an effort to change her quickly. The woman who carried my child deserved to live, no matter what that life might bring.

I had a son! His mother went through the first half of her change in silence, and I held him, completely captivated. I named him Angelo, as he was an angel to me. I fed him as I had Marcus' daughter, whom he'd named Marietta, and my child looked up at me with adoring eyes. For the first time in my entire existence, I was unconditionally loved!

Rachele writhed in her silent agony, and I took him from the room as her distress seemed to frighten him. When the healing of the venom reached her mind, she began to scream. It was the first time I'd heard her actual voice, and it tore through me with it's power. I had not created one of our kind, since the twins, and the sound of that innocent woman in such pain because of me, made me feel as if I were a fiend which had crawled from the pits of Hell.

I took Angelo and fled. There was no place I could hide within the walls, and not hear her piteous wails. It was in the cathedral where I hid, though only one of us deserved admittance. My Angelo granted me passage into a place where the wrath of God should have stuck me down; fiend that I was.

I gazed at the stained glass for hours, noting the events of the life of Christ. I had never believed before. But with an angel in my arms, the horror of what I'd done eating at my mind – indeed at my very soul – and a savior suffering on a cross before me, I had a sudden conviction. Looking at the image of an empty tomb, I felt an affinity with the one I'd pretended for so long to follow. I wondered whether Christ himself could have been one of us.

The hours we spent in the house of God were both my lowest and highest. I had no doubts I was a dark fiend. There I was, confronted with the only one who could save even the darkest, vilest, most evil, from eternal damnation. I prayed in the place where I'd once preyed.

The image of the empty tomb, with it's heavy stone rolled away, offered me solace. Once planted, the idea that he had been one of us, continued to grow. I knew the scriptures, as they were the trappings of my charade. But when I applied them to my new reasoning, they humbled me. It wasn't that I felt that I was His equal. I felt instead that God himself had created a perfect immortal, and we somehow had stolen what we were not intended to have.

My mind flew to a story of Christ in a crowd, and a woman with a bleeding illness had touched his garment. He felt power go out from him. Was it possible that his power could be stolen? I thought of each and every miracle he had done. I wondered if he was the perfect immortal, while we were merely caricatures living eternally with stolen power.

Again I came back to the image of the heavy stone pushed from the inside, by a deity raised from the dead, after three days. I recalled his friends and companions did not even recognize him. He found them where they hid. Any vampire could perform these miracles.

Of course there were aspects that didn't fit as well. He had scars, and he ate. But he also didn't want to be touched, and he frightened people with his mere presence. I held my son, and it was in his sweet face I found an answer I could cling to. He was my Solomon. After all King David had done in stealing the woman Bathsheba, Death took their first son, but later God relented and gave him Solomon.

Could Angelo be my forgiveness?

I went back. I was told that Rachele's change was complete. I was afraid to expose her to our son, so I left him in the care of Athenodora, who was quite happy to look after him.

Throughout this whole plot...experiment... folly... whatever we could call it, Sulpicia was strangely noncommittal. She didn't care that I'd taken a captive to my bed, and she didn't care that Rachele conceived my child. She was absent from the whole proceeding. So it was a surprise to see her leaving my rooms.

She seemed surprised to see me – startled even. I caught hold of her as she tried to pass. It was there in her mind. She had her own plot, which involved luring away the newborn mother, and setting her free to slake her newborn thirst in Volterra – sealing her fate.

"I didn't do it!" She was quick to defend herself, even before I could accuse her. "I would have, and gladly, but she's already gone!" I'd never wanted to strike a woman as much as I did in that moment. It wouldn't have hurt her. She likely would have gloated that she could make me lose control. I didn't waste my time on her, but instead went to search for the girl.

The door was still locked; Sulpicia was trying to cover her tracks. I searched my room, checking the wardrobe, the lavatory, and even under the bed. There were no windows, and the door was intact, but she was gone.

Then I smelled her. I followed the scent alone, and came right to the place where she stood, just beside the door. I gasped when my eyes met hers. If I had not known she was there, I wouldn't have seen her. She wasn't invisible, but my eyes saw only the wall. I couldn't trust my eyes.

She trembled where she stood. Her mouth dropped open and an inarticulate mass of sounds came out. I thought for sure whatever damage her mind had suffered, remained damaged through the change. She closed her mouth, and looked thoughtful, which was the most intelligent look I'd ever seen cross her face.

"Wh... where am I? H...who are you? I w... want Mama!" She looked panicked, and I tried to soothe her. Just touching her made her flinch, and she looked at me like I was something that had stepped from her nightmares. Depending on how much she remembered – I was.

I let go of her. "I am Aro. You're in a place called Volterra."

I want Mama! Where is she?"

"She's not here, Rachele. Dear heart, what do you remember?" I would have just taken the memory from her head, but from the one touch I'd already learned there was a huge blank in her mind. Fuzzy images surrounded a pit of gaping blackness that made me shy away from it.

"It hurt! Like I fell in the fire and burned!" She panted in her distress, and I put my hand on her covered shoulder.

"That part is over now. What do you remember from before the fire?"

Her eyes fastened on mine. "You... I remember your face, but I don't know you. Mama! I remember Mama. I... we crashed! The car was ruined, and Mama pulled me out. There was blood all over me... in my eyes. Mama's crying... and then there's... nothing."

"Rachele, what else do you remember – before the crash?" When I'd found her, she was healthy, all but her mind. How long had her injuries taken to heal? How long had it taken for her mother to abandon her to the mental hospital?

"I think... we were going to visit Nonni. I was going to ride the pony. Yes, the pony Nonni got when I turned ten! I had apples for her, and a new currycomb. Her name is Twinkle, and I have to wait for her side to heal before I'm allowed to ride her." She looked as excited as a little girl.

I stood before her, feeling wretched with the realization that her mind only had ten years worth of memories. I hadn't made love with a woman, I'd raped a child! She'd likely been in the hospital for at least six years. Her damaged mind had never grown up, and though she stood there in her woman's body, she wanted her mother, and a ride on a pony.

"I'm thirsty. My throat is so dry." Dear lord; I'd created an immortal child!

"Rachele, I need you to stay here for a while. I'm going to go get you something to drink, but you have to stay here, do you understand?"

"I'll stay here, Aro. Will you get my Mama too?" My god, what have I done! I left her there, hoping she wouldn't test her newborn strength on the door. I ran.

Perhaps it was the though of all the trouble with the Cullen's and the accusations that they had created a vampire child, but I was thinking of Carlisle and his chosen diet. I couldn't subject Rachele's innocent mind to killing a human. I tried not to think about the ramifications of her innocence. If there was no hope of teaching and training her to act as a responsible adult, then I'd have to destroy her.

I chose an animal. I rushed back with it, hoping that no one I knew would see me. I opened my door, and she was gone. I closed the door and put the sheep down. I was about to start looking for her, when she peeled away from the wall, where my eyes had again failed to see her.

She attacked the animal, purely out if instinct and need. I watched her feed, resisting the temptation myself. She drank deeply and efficiently. I listened for the heart to stop beating, to make sure she finished it. It wasn't an issue, and it was long dead before she raised her head.

She looked up at me with wide, terrified red eyes. I gently wiped the blood from her face, then she looked back down at the sheep. "I killed it! I didn't mean to – I'm so sorry! Why did I do this... what happened to me?" She looked up at me, wanting answers.

"I'm a vampire, and so are you, Rachele." I didn't know if she would even understand the term.

She giggled nervously. "Vampires aren't real. You don't even have a cape... or pointy teeth." I looked at the sheep, still dead on the floor. Her eyes followed mine.

"We're real, Rachele." She looked so frightened, and she started trembling. Without thinking I gathered her to me, and she pressed her face against my shoulder.

"I still want Mama!" I held her tight, trying to comfort her. Eventually I would have to tell her she could never see her mama again. We left my room, as the sheep was upsetting her. I lead her to the top floor, as it was unlikely we would run across any humans there. Marcus had sequestered his daughter up there, away from prying eyes. In an unused bedroom, I sat with Rachele and began explaining the unexplainable.

So much of what I told her upset her. I explained that she was no longer a little girl. I needed her to understand that she had to act like a grown-up. It was touchy explaining to her that she was also a mother. I wanted to keep the information from her, but I thought that would be cruel.

"I have a baby?" She looked equal parts delighted and disbelieving. "I would need a boyfriend..." She looked embarrassed.

"You're a young woman. Some day you'll get to see your baby, if you learn how to control your thirst."

"I want to see her now!" Her outburst worried me, as I thought it was a child's tantrum. But it was more an emotional lament of sadness and loss.

"Your baby is a little boy. I'm afraid to let you see him, since you could hurt him – like you did the sheep." She looked devastated.

"Aro, please... I promise I won't hurt him!"

"You might not be able to control yourself, Rachele. You're still too new and untried. I'm afraid I cannot allow it."

"Are you his father?" Her eyes were enormous as she looked at me. Did we make a baby together?" I would have given anything to deny the truth, but I couldn't lie to her.

"Yes."

"Did you make me a vampire?" Her questions were so direct in their innocence.

"Yes."

"Why?" She looked suddenly confused and shook her head. "I can't cry anymore! I'm so sad, but I can't cry."

"I made you a vampire so you wouldn't die. You can't cry, because vampires don't..." I was at a loss to give her a reason. I didn't know why we couldn't cry, I'd just accepted it, along with the cold, the sleeplessness, the reflective skin, and the thirst. It just was.

"I don't know why we don't cry, Dear."

"Are you my boyfriend?" She looked away and picked at the lint on her nightgown.

"Do you want me to be your boyfriend, Rachele?" Her wide eyes met mine.

"I... you're handsome. But you're too old... I don't think I want a boyfriend." Part of me wanted to laugh, and part of me was disappointed. I had enjoyed being with her physically, after all. Now that it was possible to be with her without damaging her, I couldn't be with her. That she believed my twenty-four year old face was too old was laughable.

The room where we had our talk had a window which faced the setting sun. She enjoyed the view, and asked if it could be hers, once she learned that she couldn't go back home. I wanted her to feel comfortable, and I set about immediately having it decorated for her.

She wanted a princess suite, and I had her bed built up on a platform, with a canopy and drapes. Everything was gold leaf, gilt, sparkling and bejeweled. The bed was draped in her favorite colors, and I even put a bathtub in the suite. It was all to keep her from lamenting that her door was locked to hide her away.

Marcus and I had decided to keep our new additions secret from as many as we could. Caius was becoming more and more frustrated that his captive was not conceiving, though we had both become fathers. I read it from his mind that he wanted to outlaw the whole process, as he felt it was beneath us to consort with mere humans in such a way. Marcus would likely vote against him in such a ruling, but I had no idea how I would vote.

The children we'd sired were delightful, but they came at a cost. Rachele, with all her innocence was living proof of the horror we'd visited upon these women. I didn't want to think of them as women. I tried to think of them as vessels, merely serving a purpose which was higher and nobler than feeding us. But every time I looked into her blood red eyes and saw her look of bewilderment or sadness, I had to face the truth.

I should have known that I couldn't keep everything separated and compartmentalized. Nothing in my life was ever simple when it came to women. I had Angelo in my own suite, and Athenodora looked after him when I couldn't. She even attended him when I could, and she was quite attached to him. She had allowed Caius' captive to see him, so she could understand why she was being held and what they hoped to accomplish through her.

I wish she had not done so. Angelo was already mature enough to hunt, and it frightened the girl that he was only a couple months old. More to the point, I then had to answer Angelo's questions about the girl. He thought she was exotic, with her pale blond hair and blue eyes like his own. He wondered why she was a prisoner. I made up lies – I detest lying – and I knew he was dissatisfied with my answers.

How could I tell my angelic son that the girl he admired had been kidnapped? How could I even broach the subject of her expected purpose? I certainly knew I could never tell him that she was being raped on a regular basis. As if all that were not bad enough, I knew from Caius' thoughts, that he would not be turning the girl if she conceived and gave birth. Whether she bore his child or not, he'd already decided that within two months she would be dead.

It didn't take my son long to put it together that he had a mother who should be with him the way I was. He knew it wasn't Athenodora, and he began asking me questions about her. I did my best to explain that he had to wait to see her, since she could be dangerous. But he didn't understand what we were.

Because I'd thought of him as an angel, I fed him in the same way the Cullens had fed their half human child. I couldn't subject an innocent child to the kind of feeding I did. I had devised a hunting strategy, where I would take Rachele out to hunt animals on one night, and our son would go the next. I of course continued to feed on humans.

There were too many secrets being kept from too many people, and eventually the lies unraveled. Actually, the lies were pulled apart, by a deceitful woman who held one of the strings in her red taloned fingers. My wife. Even today it baffles me why the woman took such delight in making me miserable. Having failed at getting Rachele killed, she devised a new plan to steal my joy.

She had a long talk with Angelo. As much as I detested lying, the truth was particularly brutal. She told him the truth, spun in a way only a truly vindictive woman could spin it. All while speaking to him in a sugary sweet voice, like she was his best friend. I should have killed the bitch when she was still human.

She sowed the seeds of mistrust for me in his young mind. He didn't come to me with his questions. He went instead to find his answers on his own. While I was busy with some mundane detail of running our part of the city, Angelo went to look for his mother.

It was only seeing Sulpicia's face that made me think something was amiss. Even if I wasn't reading her mind, I could tell she was planning some kind of mischief, and she wanted plausible denial when the trap was sprung. She tried to do a graceful retreat, but I caught her and what I saw in her mind made me question again if Volterra was truly worth all I had to put up with from the woman.

I raced to find him before he met with disaster. I knew where she was, and I raced to the top floor. I heard Rachele scream as I came down the hall. I was too late. I paused a moment, terrified of what I'd find in her room. I didn't smell blood, but I heard her wailing and begging; "Wake up! Please wake up!"

I stepped into the room and she was holding him. He looked dead, and I felt my whole world tilt and crash. I gasped as pain tore through me like I'd never felt. Then I heard the sound of hope – his heartbeat.

"I'm so sorry! I don't know how he got in... he scared me, and I hid." She looked at me with frightened eyes. "He knew how to find me, and he said I was his mother! Oh my god is he dead?"

"What did you do? Did you bite him?" I fought not to snarl, she was already so distraught.

"I... I just hugged him. Oh no... you were right... I killed him! I shouldn't have touched him – I'm so sorry!

"Hush! Give him some room." She scooted away from him and crouched in fear with her wide eyes staring at me. I could barely hear his heartbeat, and I heard him struggle for breath. I wasn't a doctor, but I recognized the sounds of broken ribs. It was a mistake many of us have made with humans, though usually they were prey. She'd held him too tight and crushed him.

I watched him struggle for air, and I wondered how I could get him the help he needed. It would be impossible to take him to hospital, and I wasn't aware of medically trained people in Volterra. I contemplated calling Carlisle, but he was so far away, Angelo would certainly be dead by the time he arrived – if he came.

I pressed my ear to his chest and listened to see if his lungs were punctured. I didn't know what I was doing, but I didn't detect the pooling of blood in his chest, nor did I hear air rasping. Maybe he was young enough his bones didn't snap. As I listened, I heard one clear, deep breath. It was followed by several more, then he cried out in pain.

He struggled in my grasp, and cried out that I was hurting him. I laid him gently on the floor, but he continued to cry. Rachele was completely upset, and she reached out with a trembling hand, as if to sooth him, but she was afraid to touch him.

"It hurts Papa!" His cry was strong and I was overjoyed, even though he was in pain. It was pain he would live through. In all the memories I had of the hybrid child Renesmee, I'd never glimpsed the remarkable healing of the hybrid. Even as I watched, Angelo stopped all but his silent tears, and he carefully sat up. He was still upset, but I detected no injury in him.

He climbed into my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck. It was so strange to feel his tears against my cheek. I held him and soothed him, petting over his soft curls. I'd never loved anyone so deeply as I did my son in that moment.

"Is he okay?" Her timid voice opened my eyes, and I nodded slightly. "Can I see him?" She inched closer to us, crawling across the floor as if she feared he would break if she moved too quickly. I wanted to deny her. I wanted to take my son as far away from the one who'd hurt him as I possibly could. But she was his mother, and he turned in my arms to face her.

She reached out her hand, and he put his smaller one in hers. She smiled like I had never seen before. "You have eyes like my mama. Hers were bluer than mine – than mine used to be." She barely held his hand. "I'm so sorry I hurt you... it was an accident. I was just so glad to see you, and I sometimes forget how strong I am."

"Are you not tempted by him?" I still held him, ready to carry him away in an instant if she should attack him.

"A little bit... I mean he smells really good. But I would never try to bite him." I didn't know if I could trust her. But Angelo decided for me, and he wiggled free of me and put his arms around her where she sat. She held perfectly still as he kissed her cheek, then he smiled.

"You are my mother!" With his declaration, a bond formed between them I both enjoyed and envied. I didn't realize how much I loved being his parent, until I had to share the role with his mother.

In a very short time they became inseparable. They hunted together, and he spent most of his days in her room. I was always welcome there, but it often felt as if I were visiting an elementary school. Because Angelo had not had any education, and Rachele's had been cut short, their days were filled with reading, and getting lessons from the computer I had brought in for them. They both learned so fast, and she was a natural teacher when his interest waned. I watched as weeks and months flew by, and they both seemed to be growing up together.

Sadly it was during this time that Caius' captive conceived and gave birth. I took my family hunting during the critical time, and we drove to a different part of Italy so they wouldn't have to witness the tragedy. The thought to go against Caius' wishes never even entered my mind. Between the three of us in power, we tried to agree whenever possible. On something as important as siring a new vampire, I would never interfere.

But I didn't know how I would explain it to my son. I'd managed to keep he and his mother sequestered from most of the humans who worked among us, with only the chance glimpsing of the cleaning people as the exception. I didn't want either of them to know that these humans could become food at any time.

Rachele knew that I drank human blood, as she'd asked me about my eye color. Hers were slowly turning from red to amber with her diet. Angelo of course had vivid blue eyes. I'd explained to her that human blood turned my eyes red, and she didn't question me further. I don't know if she realized that the humans I fed from always died. I don't think she wanted to know, and her only comment was that she was glad she drank animal blood instead.

In the days we were away, Yanna gave birth and died. Her daughter was named after her, and quickly became well known around the complex as our first hybrid. There were a handful who knew different, but they were willing to keep the secret. When we returned, I expected Angelo would question me about the baby and her absent mother.

When he didn't, I was forced to ask him. It unnerved me to ask him questions, as he was almost as closed to me as his mother had been. The only thoughts I could pull from his head were those which were loud and close to the surface. I would find out later that our children are sometimes immune to our ability.

Our conversation was heartbreaking. He knew what I was, and he knew that the lovely blond woman had died. He wanted to know if he would become a monster when he grew up. He didn't add like you, but I felt it hanging there unsaid. The boy I loved so dearly believed we were monsters.

I tried to change. Caius went off in search of Joham and there was no one to sneer at my choices. I hunted with my son and his mother, and fed from animals for the first time in decades. It was abhorrent, but for my precious angel I had to try. The diet was not the only change I made. I cut my hair. It takes so long for it to grow back that I had not cut it for almost a hundred years. It is also quite difficult to cut, but again it was for my son. My short hair curled as it had when I was a boy, and my son looked more like me.

I made an attempt to dress more within the age, though admittedly only when I spent time with my boy. There is a certain amount of my identity attached to my attire, plus I found the denim breeches to be quite uncomfortable.

I needn't have bothered with the clothes, as Angelo neither noticed nor cared. He did enjoy hunting with both of his parents, and I believe he liked that he resembled me.

The diet proved beyond difficult for me. I could feed from animals easily enough, but I felt somehow diminished by it. Perhaps it was only my imagination, but I felt weaker for the effort. After a month of only consuming animal blood, I found myself all but starved for the human nourishment. It became all I could think about. I craved it, and even when I was functioning normally, I thirsted like a newborn.

One afternoon I was in Rachele's room, playing a game with my son. He came to me as he often did, flinging himself into my arms so I could tickle him or toss him into the air. I tickled him and he laughed, then he threw his arms around my neck to hug me. His own precious neck was right there, mere inches from my mouth. I felt his heartbeat, and heard the blood rushing through his warm body, and I had my lips on his throat before I even thought. Rachele's scream stopped me, and I fled.

The maid vacuuming the second floor hallway barely screamed when I took her. I fed like an addict must feel when getting a much needed fix. When I finished with her, she looked as if an animal had savaged her throat.

I carried her body into a room to prevent her discovery, and wished I could weep over her. While I'd fed, I was reminded that there was another reason I preyed on humans. It was their memories – I craved them almost as much as their blood. The very curse that kept me from taking a lover whose mind I could read, also made taking their lives so fulfilling. It was as if I drowned in my victims. I was infused with the sweetness of their blood, as their memories washed over me – through me. It totally captivated my senses in the way feeding from a boar could never do.

I don't know when I'd passed the point of no return, but I couldn't stop feeding on humans. Maybe if I was willing to go back to my newborn thirsts, and learn all over again – but that was impossible. I couldn't take the chance that I would attack Angelo. Not to mention the ever present Dora as well as Marcus' daughter Marietta. I continued to hunt with Angelo and his mother, as it did afford me more time between my chosen victims. But my eyes proved I was not converted.

In the time it took Caius to find Joham and ally with him, the hybrids grew stronger. Dora knew all about our secret creations, but she seemed to know instinctively to keep the secrets. I delighted in reading her, as the tiny girl had a way of seeking out and absorbing secrets. She was like the fly on the wall as observers went, and she had the run of Volterra, while the others were sequestered away.

She became almost like a little sister to Angelo, and she would rather spend time with him than Marietta. I read it from her mind that she just didn't like Marietta's ability. Dora had a powerful talent. She could take control of people and make them like puppets. Early on it was just little things she could do, like raising a hand when you didn't want to. But Marietta had a dimming effect on her talent.

I'd asked Marcus what her talent was, and he said she was like a peaceful dream I didn't think I could classify her as a shield, because our abilities still worked. I just noticed when I was near her, I wasn't really interested in reading minds – even though it still worked. She gave me the feeling of listening to relaxing music, or taking a nap; even though I hadn't napped for centuries.

Angelo was learning new things about his own ability almost daily. Marcus joked that he had "Jedi" mind powers. Of course I had to look it up to find out what he meant. It was quite appropriate, as he just misdirected thoughts. His mother could hide in plain sight, and Angelo could make you forget he was even there.

Life would have been good at Volterra for quite some time if not for one little occurrence. Caius returned with Joham.

A/N: Happy Valentines Day!