Idiot
"Sulking are you? " House asked when Nyx hadn't said anything to him since his arrival.
"Why do you think that?" Nyx queried.
"You haven't said anything since I arrived and you usually have plenty to say," House pointed out.
"Especially when you have been especially idiotic," Nyx agreed. "But I don't really have anything new to say. You have heard it all from others already."
"What is so idiotic about wanting to get rid of pain?" House demanded.
"RATS!" Nyx couldn't contain her exasperation any longer. "What are you thinking? Didn't Thirteen's experience with an experimental drug teach you anything? Her drug had at least passed the animal testing stage, you just skipped it all and started using without any reliable results at all!"
"So far there has been no adverse effects on the rats," House defended himself. "And you can't even overdose as your kidneys filter it and you pee it out! Nothing to worry about."
"If you are a rat," Nyx stated. "And I mean the four-legged variety, so don't try to get clever. You have no way of knowing your physiology responds to the drug the way a rat's does. And even with the rats the jury is still out. The testing hasn't gone on long enough to tell you what it really does to the rats. And it certainly hasn't gone on long enough to tell you what it may do to a human."
"But I'm better," House explained. "My leg doesn't hurt and there is more mass where my thigh muscle used to be. It is working!"
"You can't know that yet," Nyx refused to listen. "The reduction of pain can be a placebo effect. You just want it to work so badly that it does work – up to a point. But that does not mean that the side effects can't be dangerous and won't kick in later rather than sooner."
"You are just being pessimistic," House insisted. "The rats have had no adverse reactions at all and that in itself is unusual."
"Too good to be true?" Nyx demanded. "Isn't that usually a clue that it really is too good? I'm sure there have been other experiments where the rats have been just fine until they drop dead like flies. Why risk it?"
"You think I should have waited the few years it takes for something like this to reach the stage where it can be tested on humans?" House asked.
"Yes," Nyx replied emphatically. "Why are you in such a hurry?"
"Have you ever been in pain?" House queried quietly.
"Yes," Nyx answered. "But that is not the point. You rushed into the ketamine treatment too. Sure, there was some sense in that as it had worked for some, but it was still dangerous. It worked. For a short period of time and the return of the pain – after you had had some time without it – started your downward spiral. That was when you started to take more vicodin than was good for you. What will happen this time when this experiment doesn't work out the way you want?"
"But it looks like this is working exactly the way I want," House countered. "Why don't you want me to be painless?"
"I don't believe you will be," Nyx sighed. "Even if you are right and the drug has no dangerous side effects, I just don't believe it actually works. At least not on humans. And I worry about what it will do to you when your hopes are dashed again."
"You sound like Wilson," House accused her. "He is always expecting me to fly too high and melt my wings."
"He is not completely wrong in his expectations," Nyx accepted. "Even if you do end up curing your physical pain, you do know that that won't fix everything else that has gone wrong in your life."
"You mean that getting rid of the pain will not give me back all the things I have lost because of it?" House clarified.
"Among other things," Nyx nodded.
"Don't you think that just getting rid of the pain would be reward in itself?" House pointed out. "Just going to bed at night without needing to fear waking up in the morning? Trust me, I'd give up just about anything to be able to sleep the whole night and not worry about cramping and pain when I wake up."
"But do you really need to play with the 'cure for all ills'?" Nyx wanted to know.
"As I have pointed out several times, there have been no deaths so far," House explained patiently. "The rats are fine and there are no indications of that changing."
"Not with the rats," Nyx agreed. "But the experiment isn't over yet and you're not a rat."
"It is only a week or so away from going on to the next stage," House dismissed Nyx' concerns. "What could go wrong this late in the game?"
"Everything," Nyx stated. "And you know it. You have been around enough medical research to know that. And even if the rats end up being fine you don't know that you will be. There are plenty of drugs that have passed all the initial tests but then have proven fatal to humans."
"But I'm fine!" House declared. "Better than before, so you're just being difficult."
"You haven't been on the drug for as long as the rats have been," Nyx said. "Though you have taken much larger dosages. But even so, you still don't know how it will affect you and how much worse off you could be in the end."
"Or better!" House still argued. "This could cure me."
"Or kill you," Nyx threw back at him.
"I'm willing to risk that," House decided. "Being pain free is worth the risk."
"Maybe it is worth dying for," Nyx observed. "But what if you just end up with more pain? Was it still worth the risk?"
"There isn't much room for more pain," House explained. "Besides, I do believe that it is working."
"Or you are just in denial," Nyx sighed.
"No I'm not," House shot back at her. "Oh, wait… you just caught me!"
"Very funny!" Nyx glared at him. "Just don't expect me not to tell you that I told you so."
"Wouldn't dream of it," House accepted.
"Idiot!" Nyx sighed again.