Disclaimer: I do not own anything; only the plot (if you can realize that there is a plot). Everything else is owned by the brilliant JK Rowling. The first word(s) of every chapter came from the first stanza of the song "Until We Bleed", sang by Lykke Li and done by Andrea Kleerup.
Author's Note: Thank you for putting this story in your alerts. Special thanks for BeneHime1124 and Angelndevil1 for reviewing in the previous chapter. Technically, this is the end of it; the last of their Sunday Mornings. But I'm not saying it's done! I don't want to spoil anything, but I'm just going to say I already wrote two very different endings. I'll upload them both. All the warnings I've mentioned in previous chapters will obviously be the same in this one. I hope you've enjoyed reading the previous chapters and will enjoy reading this one. Reviews are still highly appreciated. Thanks for reading this far. :)
"I'm staying."
Hermione stood still in front of Draco, as he was begging her to leave. She couldn't get him off her mind, as he couldn't stop thinking about her. It had been a while since the two of them last met and shared a sensational night together. But on that sunny Sunday morning, he knew that it was their last; Hermione Granger will be Hermione Weasley in a few hours.
The two were at the huge front doors of the Malfoy Manor. Draco composed himself to keep a straight look on his face, Hermione was teary-eyed and her face questioning. He was distant to her, trying to avoid her alluring scent. He knew that she would ask him about their relationship. He may have not admitted it to himself, but he fell in love with Hermione that morning at breakfast. But even so, he chose to marry Astoria as it would result to less controversy. Before marrying Astoria, he weighed his options thoroughly; if he were to leave Astoria and be with Hermione, the whole world will once again think of him as the evil one, and if he were to marry Astoria (and possibly still be with Hermione, because he didn't mind doing so, without anyone knowing), people would leave him alone and no one will get hurt.
Astoria and Draco were very happy after they got married. They respected each other and it was the best foundation their marriage had. They talked about wanting two children, a boy and a girl. They shared laughs, joking about funny baby names and how weird their children would look like. For a while, he felt satisfied just being a faithful husband to his wife. But deep inside, he knew he longed for Hermione. He longed for her smiles, her quirky facial expressions when he'd say something funny or sarcastic, her warm figure next to his. Whenever he felt that way, somehow, Hermione felt the same. No words were exchanged about what they were about to do being wrong and disgraceful. They just enjoyed each others' company, and leave right after they felt it was done.
Because she was getting married, he invited Hermione to meet him two weeks before her wedding to say their final goodbyes. By that, meaning, they shared a night of incredible passion and desire. He planned the whole thing carefully, knowing he will never get his hands on this woman after that night. He brought her to an elegant restaurant his friend Blaise Zabini owned and brought her white flowers with a little note inside which he said should be opened the morning after. He danced with her for the last time in a bedroom they rented above while sharing a 67 year old red wine. They made love, the most gentle and affectionate love making they ever had. The morning after, Hermione found herself alone in the bed with the bouquet of roses beside her. The note inside said: Thanks for the memories. Be happy. -D
Draco thought it was enough, what he did for her. Later, he only realized that what he did only confused the beautiful witch in front of him. It made her hold the thought of them to be actually possible. She longed more from him, something he wasn't willing to give. He made a promise to Astoria that he would never leave her; he intended to keep that promise as to that moment in time his beloved wife was pregnant with their first child. He felt burdened by everything, recognizing the possibility that everything may be his fault and his fault alone. He couldn't blame Hermione for wanting more from him because that's what he asked for as well before he married. He remembered her exact words as she rejected him: I don't want to be the reason people will hate you again. I'll still be here when you want me. Though this time, he didn't intend to keep it the same way once Hermione exchanged vows with Weasley. He wanted to change for the better, for their future families.
He observed how Hermione didn't disguise herself coming to his home. She wore her usual Muggle clothing, a peach colored blouse, red doll shoes, and a pencil cut black skirt. She wore a thin head band and controlled her natural bushy brown hair in a ponytail. Her face looked neat and elegant, all natural, just like how she said pictured herself in her wedding day. He imagined her in her wedding dress, the pure white silk satin gown with beading detail hugging her curves and flowing toward the floor. She looked so exquisite and lovely in his head; the corner of his lips formed a slight curve.
He didn't entertain the thought for long; he needed her to go back to the Burrow where she should be. He wondered what the Weasley family and the others were feeling, looking for the main character of the event that day. He cleared his throat and looked again at the gorgeous women upon him, fighting the urge to make her stay with him.
"I'm telling you, you should leave. You wouldn't want anyone to see you here, not on your wedding day." He said icily, trying to push her away as cold as he could.
"I'm sorry for letting you go before, but now, I don't know what to do. I want to be with you." Her breaths sharpen at her confession, still trying her best not to shed a single tear in front of him. As her chest rose up and down, Draco did his best not to be moved by her presence. He knew he needed to save her from her life-damaging want of being with him. He needed her to be at that altar.
"Astoria might wake up and see you from the windows."
"I don't care." She said in a firm tone, not meeting his eyes' stare.
"Hermione, two weeks ago was amazing; it was the best night I've ever had with you, and I'll forever remember it."
He didn't want to feel her skin against his, but he couldn't help himself knowing it was the last time they will ever get close to each other. He put his hands on her bare shoulders, giving them a firm squeeze. He waited for her to look back so he can say it to her face.
"But, we have to grow up from the fantasy that you and I will happen. Think about it; you with me? It's impossible." Hermione looked away at his statement, wiping her tears.
God knew how hard it was for him to let her go, but it was the only way to finally give Hermione what he thought she deserved; an honest life as Ron Weasley's wife and as a decent mother of his children. He couldn't bear the thought of Hermione being with him while thinking about the family he was betraying. Sure, it would be fun, hating Weasley's guts helped him stay in their affair, but conscious of Astoria's pregnancy with their first child; he had a wake-up call.
"We are not alike at all," he continued, "We don't love each other. We shouldn't. We couldn't. You belong with Weasley, I belong with Astoria. It was how we were written. We can't change that."
"You were the one who told me that we make our own choices."
"But you're trying to make the wrong one, Granger."
He did mean what he said, no matter how hurtful it must have felt to her. He knew that Hermione didn't go to his house and ask him to run away with her because she just felt like it. She, too, weighed her options. He wasn't sure of what Hermione's mind was thinking, but like himself, he figured that she must have held that thought on her way to the Manor to inquire on the odds of the other wanting the same thing. He didn't want her to feel he was rejecting her, but he didn't want her to think that the two of them had a chance still.
"You really think this is wrong? Is that how you really feel, Draco?" she asked, with a hint of shock. She must've known he would say that on her way there, as it was almost the same thing she said to him before.
"Yes, Granger. Look, this isn't revenge for rejecting me in the past. I know now how you felt that day I went to your apartment, asking you to run away with me. Believe me; I think you made the best decision in your life. I don't want you to ruin your life because of me, just the same with how you didn't want to ruin my life before."
A few more seconds were spent in silence as Hermione stayed perfectly still in front of him. He found it ironic how in the first Sunday morning they spent together, he almost forced her to stay and on that Sunday morning, he was obliging her to leave. On that first morning, she was the one suggesting what they did was wrong, and now he was the one telling her that what she wanted was wrong. It was a reversal he never wanted to happen.
One thing was sure to him, he didn't want to see her cry. In the span of time in their "relationship", it was hard not to see her cry. From the very first morning he saw her sobbed in his bed, he vowed never to make her do it again. It was something he wasn't fond of seeing in his life, a woman crying. It would always remind him of his childhood, his mother crying in front of his father, helpless because of the task given to him by Voldemort. After the war, he never let out a tear out of his eyes; he never got the chance to grieve. Remembering these things at the sight of her wet eyes, he let out another noisy breath, putting his hand inside his robes' pockets.
"Before I do that— before I leave, I just want to know one thing." She took his hand and placed it just above her breast. He could feel her strong heart beating through her ribcage. His senses tingled in their intimate contact. Her heart beat loud and fast. She looked at him straight in the eye and asked in a whimpering whisper, "Did you ever love me? You never said you did. If you tell me what I want to hear, I'll leave… and get married to Ron."
He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, still feeling her heartbeat upon his hand. He wanted to say no, but he couldn't lie about how much Hermione meant to him. It wasn't like him to be satisfied with one woman or be restricted by laws and norms. Though this time, he was trying his best to be the man his wife wants him to be. He wanted to be the man that will take care of her without any guilt in his mind. He wanted to be a good father to his future son, opposite to what his father had done to him. He wanted to right his wrongs, possibly all of them if he could. He wanted to be respectable in his own skin. He wanted to be normal. In silence, he composed his explanation.
Before he even spoke, Hermione put his hand on his chest, letting it go. Putting her hair behind her ear, she felt a cold wind brush her face. She didn't look at him anymore, feeling unconfident with Draco's possible response to her question. She tried her best not to cry, but a silent tear drop found its way to her cheeks. She looked away from him, wiping her tear. He knew she didn't want to look defeated in front of him. He cupped her chin, making her face him again. He put his forehead against hers, his hand caressing her cheek.
"I did love you, Hermione. You better listen to me now because I won't say this again: in another life, you and I will have a shot." He let out a soft laugh, which Hermione smiled to. "Be happy with Weasley, raise his kids with your witty skills and upright morals." He said firmly. He pulled back and gave her a smirk. "I will never forget you, Hermione. I believe that what we had was special, but it's time to grow up. I mean, we're adults now, aren't we?"
They both laughed softly, hearing that line he said to her that morning that started it all.
"Whatever Malfoy, thanks for the bed," she sniffed, smiling, "I hope this never happens again."
Author's Note: It's sort of fluff, the last bit. But whatever, I think it needed to be said. Thanks for reading. Please review! Hugs and tickles. =)
