Even dumber…

"And just when I believed you couldn't get any stupider you go and prove me wrong," Nyx sighed as she sat down on the hospital bed.

"Funny," House mused. "I was sure you would open with 'I told you so' or words to that effect."

"I don't do redundancy," Nyx scorned.

"And calling me stupid – again – isn't?" House asked.

"Nope," Nyx stated. "Not when you keep the idea fresh the way you do. I mean, come on! Self-surgery? Couldn't you have conned Chase into doing it or even Taub – he sure is scared enough of you. At least you did have enough sense to keep your phone close and finally call for help."

"Yeah, too bad it had to be Cuddy," House observed.

"She is the one you trust most anyway," Nyx reminded him.

"I do," House agreed. "But she has a kid and the way things are between us is not very good. It would have been better had I got the help I needed from someone else."

"She still cares about you," Nyx said.

"All the more reason not to involve her in this," House sighed. "She's been through enough with me already."

"So what are you going to do now?" Nyx wanted to know. "You know Wilson is right. You can't go on like this or you'll just end up back in the loony bin."

"Hey, some respect for mental patients, please," House grumbled. "But yeah, something needs to change."

"Any ideas what?" Nyx queried. "And how?"

"No," House sighed. "Except I need to make things ok with Cuddy. If we are to work together we need to get whatever bad feelings we have behind us."

"You can't just forget pain," Nyx pointed out. "You of all people know that."

"True, but when you stop fighting it, it can get better," House said. "And at least you won't be causing more pain."

"You think it can be done?" Nyx was doubtful. "She doesn't trust you much anymore, after all that you two have been through. And your reaction to the break up wasn't exactly mature."

"Well she wasn't too mature about the break up either," House stated. "However, that is exactly the sort of things we have to put behind us and try and get back to how things were before the dating. And maybe some trust can be regained."

"And if the trust is really all gone?" Nyx asked. "You were actually very lucky that she did come to your aid and didn't just ignore your call the way the others did."

"Wilson was asleep," House pointed out. "He didn't really ignore it."

"But apart from Wilson the point still stands," Nyx insisted.

"Yes, it does," House acknowledged. "And if that is so, then I will just have to live with it. It won't be anything new, after all. Trust has never been strong in my life – given or received."

"I know," Nyx sighed.

"Anyway, that won't be the biggest issue," House said. "Getting over the pain we have caused each other will. If we can put that behind us, we can go on working together."

"And if you can't?" Nyx wanted to know.

"Something has to give," House shrugged his shoulders. "We really can't go on like this. It's not good for either of us and If we can't work together any more I may have to leave."

"Where?" Nyx demanded. "Nobody has even been able to put up with you before. You are brilliant, you save lives nobody else can and you're pretty much a legend. Unfortunately the legend isn't just about your abilities as a doctor. You have a reputation that will make any hospital hesitate before they will hire you."

"I can go to research," House stated. "My skills do translate. And I did consider that once before."

"But you need people," Nyx reminded him. "You need social contact to stay sane."

"I have a wife now," House shrugged again. "I'll just add that to her duties: meaningful conversation twice a week. And Wilson will keep in touch, no doubt."

"Will that be enough?" Nyx worried. "Now that you failed to save your leg."

"I still have it," House asserted. "It's not worse than it was. It's just one more failed experiment. Been there, done that have the scars to prove it. Nothing new there."

"I don't believe you," Nyx stated simply. "Yes, you love taking stupid risks, but even so you outdid yourself this time. Is it really that bad that you had to risk everything? And alone?"

"Yes," House answered. "Ibuprofen doesn't really work. I'd get better results with a placebo. I have to be careful with Vicodin so I take that only when things get really bad. And I'm tired of pain and I'm tired of people telling me that it's all in my head and I'm tired of people telling me what is best for me and what I am doing wrong though they have no idea of what I live with every day. I'm just tired."

"I know," Nyx replied quietly. "I do wish there was something…"

"Me too," House accepted. "But apparently pain is going to be my life no matter what I try. I just need to accept it and stop fighting."

"I'm not sure I like the sound of that," Nyx frowned.

"Don't worry," House gave a small laugh. "I'm not suicidal. I just meant that I have to accept that this is it. No more crazy cures."

"About time," Nyx huffed. "I don't think Rachel needs to see you this sick again."

"She won't," House stated. "Cuddy won't let anything like this happen again. And I have learned that lesson at least. Besides, soon she won't remember me anymore."

"She's not that little," Nyx insisted. "Besides, you'll be seeing her again."

"Probably not if Cuddy has anything to say about it," House insisted. "And she rather has."

"She won't stop you from seeing Rachel," Nyx was sure. "Not when Rachel still wants to see you."

"Unless she thinks it might harm Rachel in some way," House pointed out. "And my self-destructive tendencies could be seen to do just that."

"She knows you'd never harm Rachel," Nyx insisted.

"Not intentionally," House said. "But then I never intend harm. I didn't intend to harm Amber either. Things just went that way."

"You need to do something about those 'self-destructive tendencies' then," Nyx told him.

"I've been trying to," House declared. "I just tend to do that in a bit self-destructive way and just end up in a vicious circle."

"You need help," Nyx remarked.

"Yeah," House agreed. "I just don't know what kind. Shrinks haven't helped, drugs haven't helped, experimental treatments haven't helped…"

"How about friends?" Nyx asked pointedly.

"Haven't found one who doesn't speak judgemental," House said.

"Maybe you need to put up with that," Nyx insisted. "After all Wilson has been there for you like nobody else. Even at his most judgemental."

"Yeah, I suppose," House accepted. "I will have to think about it."

"And a lot of other things as well," Nyx stated.

"And a lot of other things," House agreed. "So it's a rather good thing that I'm tied to a bed for a week or so at least. Plenty of time to think."

"Just make the most of it," Nyx ordered.