I'm really sorry for the lateness of this update, i actually got it written like a week and a half ago, but then my internet went out, and literally just came back on so in that time i have written 3 chapters :) so the next 3 chapters should be up soon but I'm not putting the up all in one like the last 2 chapters, there will be at least 1/2 day gaps between them :) but anyway the day of the interview was supposed to be the day after Chris' birthday; the 28th but i seemed to write the 27th so sorry for and confusion. thank you to all the people who are actually sticking with me and reading this, i didn't think i would get this many people reading this haha. but thank you :)
i shall get on with introducing this chapter now.
TUESDAY 30TH MAY 2013 DARREN'S APARTMENT
Darren and Chris spent the whole of Monday in bed, in pajamas all the time, snuggling, stealing each others heat and enjoying the other persons presence. on Sunday after they had an erotic makeout session they laid on Darren's couch, cuddled together discussing how they were going to handle the situation they were now in.
"what are we going to do? do you want to tell people about us?" asked Darren slowly not sure which way the conversation was heading.
"well i don't know, its up to you. what are you going to do? are you going to come out? or just not say anything until we announce our relationship?" Chris slowly replied not knowing what type of answers he was going to receive back
"well I'm not sure if I'm ready to come out, i mean... I've said I'm straight for like forever and I'm not sure what reaction I'm going to get..."
"the reaction will be fine Dare, the people that matter will understand, the people that don't can go fuck themselves because its your life and your allowed to do whatever the hell you want, and the fans, well they will just go crazy"
"i know but its not just that, its me, i need to be sure for myself that i want people to know, i don't know how there going to take it, i don't know how I'm going to handle it, i don't think I'm ready"
"ok i understand, we don't have to tell people just yet, but when do you think we can, we cant keep it a secret from everyone forever, i want to be able to walk down the street and be proud of you standing next to me holding my hand, i want to be able to go to the beach on a hot summers day and mess about in the sea with you, i want to be able to go to dinner with you without hiding from the public"
"i know and i want that too, but i don't know when i can"
"you told me that you knew you loved me from the day i left, why cant you tell everyone else that?"
"Chris, its different, i need time to think, to get ready to tell the world I'm gay"
"Darren, you have had 2 years to do that, 2 years to think about it!"
"i know but..." Darren was startled at the way Chris was getting angry at him and trailed off
"but what Darren, are you not proud to be with me?"
"of course I'm proud to be with you Chris! its just..." Darren raised his voice and moved away from Chris getting off the couch and walking towards the kitchen
" its just..." Chris copied him and also got off the couch and made his want towards the kitchen
"i don't think this is the right time, i think i should just stay as i was"
"what pretending you are straight? is that what you really want? it will just make it worse!"
"that is what i want, and it may make it worse but it will make it easier for me"
"no it wont because when you finally come out all of this will come tumbling down on you and you wont have anyone there to help you!"
"but i will, i will have you, because it will be you and me and we will be the only one that matters!"
"no it wont Darren, it will be you, by yourself"
"what are you saying Chris?" Darren asked in a shy whispered voice
"I'm saying i cant be with you if your going to be like this, lying to yourself and everyone else about being straight. i cant be with someone who is not proud of who they are, I'm sorry Darren but i just cant"
"Chris don't do this please, we can make it work, i will tell people just give me some time"
"i would but how much time, i thought i would be only a few weeks but you made it seem more like years, I'm sorry, i have to go" Chris walked towards Darren, placed a kiss on his cheek and made his way towards the door
"you said you loved me" Darren said quietly
"i do, but sometimes love is hard, if were meant to be together, it will happen, we will find our way back to each other, for now we just need to be apart" Chris said through broken sobs and unshed tears
"we found our ways back to each other once, isn't that enough?"
"but that wasn't fate, that was Lea, fate will bring us together if its supposed to be" and with that Darren watched Chris walk out of the door, he immediately collapsed onto the floor and started sobbing, his whole body crying. he waited so long for Chris to come back, and when he did, he left just as quickly, he lost one of the most important things in his life, what was he doing wrong?
once Chris had left he ran down the stairs and hailed a cab, once he got back to Lea's house, he realized she wasn't home, he made his way to his bedroom and cried for what seemed like forever, he hated what he did, let the best thing in his life slip away from him, but it was for the best, if it was meant to be it would happen, they would just have to give it time.
TUESDAY 6TH JUNE 2013 LEA'S HOUSE
It had been a week since Chris last saw or heard from Darren and he hadn't left the house. he had told Lea everything that happened and she didn't really say anything about it except saying she was so sorry, although it wasn't her fault it made him feel better that he had someone he could vent to and just tell everything, Lea was his rock for that past week, he told her everything and relied on her so much. he thought she was all he had. he knew she still talked to Darren and even met up with him a couple of times during the past week for coffee but when Chris asked how he was, she would just say 'hes coping' or just change the subject, fact to the matter is that Chris knew how he was doing, he was bad, he could tell by the way Lea would act around him after. the way she would always come back with tear stains on her shoulder or chest, if there weren't them signs he would still know, he knew what this would do to Darren and he hated it, but they both needed it,
later that day Lea and Chris were curled up on the couch with popcorn watching P.S. I Love You "are you sure your ok watching this, you've been really quiet since it started" Lea asked knowing what the answer would be but seeing if she could get a different one
"I'm fine Lea, I'm quiet because I'm watching the movie, if i talked all the way through it there would be no point watching it would there?" he replied eyes fixated on the screen
"i suppose, so anyway what are we doing today, just going to sit around and watch movies? if we are i thought we could watch The-" she got cut off by the sound of Chris' mobile announcing he had a message. as he got up to get his phone from the dining table her eyes followed him and scrutinized him wondering who could be texting him. as he picked up his phone, his body went stiff and she knew something was wrong. he looked at the phone and saw the sender Dare his body went ridged as he contemplated whether or not to look at it, but before he could make a decision he had already opened it and was starting to read the message
what happened to always and forever?
his body momentarily shut down as he read what the screen said, he felt the familiar stinging in his eyes and dropped his phone. he quickly grabbed onto the table to steady himself from falling. Lea was suddenly beside him reading what was written on the screen of the phone.
"oh Chris" she said as she directed him to the couch and turned the TV off.
"i promised him, i said those 3 words and made a promise. and then i broke it" he suddenly broke down and sobbed into Lea's shoulder. she just let him cry, knowing that he had been trying not to cry for a whole week
EARLIER THAT DAY DARREN'S APARTMENT
Darren had been trying to occupy himself for things to do all week, seeing friends, writing music, exercising, eating, going out. but now he had nothing to do, he just sat there and stared at a blank wall thinking about what had recently happened, how could he let Chris just slip from his grasp. why was he so stupid. why couldn't he just tell people he was gay. why was he so scared. these questions kept running through his mind and he couldn't figure out an answer for any of them. he had no idea what to do and suddenly found himself staring at a blank text. he suddenly knew what to right, he didn't know if he should of done it or not, but he needed to.
what happened to always and forever?
he quickly tapped the send button and set his phone down next to him and resumed his staring at the wall. it seemed like he was there forever but no reply came, he figured Chris didn't want to speak to him. so he left the room, to go get into bed and sleep. wishing that all of this was one big bad nightmare that would go away in the morning. the only thing was. this was reality.
A/N i hope you enjoyed it, i know no-one wanted it to happen but it had to for what i have planned for these two, please R+R it would mean a lot to me :) love you all and thankyou for reading xoxo