Loved ones

"You were right again," Nyx observed.

"Nope," House denied. "It was Foreman who got the diagnosis."

"And feeling superior he freed you from the ankle monitor," Nyx said.

"Well, that was the original plan," House agreed. "But it didn't work that way."

"Except that it did in the end," Nyx pointed out.

"Got lucky," House shrugged.

"Really?" Nyx sounded sceptical. "Are you quite sure?"

"What do you mean?" House asked.

"I find it hard to believe that Foreman got it and you didn't when you both had exactly the same information," Nyx explained.

"Had I been able to search their house I'm sure I would have solved the case without delay," House stated. "As it was, I was satisfied with the diagnosis we reached. I was wrong and had Foreman not come up with the right diagnosis we would have realised that soon enough. Foreman would have authorised the search and we would have solved the case then."

"That still doesn't tell me why you didn't reach the same conclusion as Foreman did given that you both had the same information," Nyx said. "And I have to wonder if that really is what happened."

"I don't know what you're talking about," House frowned.

"I wonder if you consciously missed the diagnosis or was it your subconscious that was at work," Nyx mused.

"Aren't you supposed to be my subconscious?" House wondered. "So aren't you supposed to be the one to tell me – if you are right about your suspicions, that is. I could have been just wrong you know."

"That is a possibility," Nyx admitted. "You were distracted by the asexual couple. And though the symptoms of Foreman's patient were interesting enough, you didn't think curing him was that important."

"As he was already a dead man walking," House shrugged. "I didn't see why a fairly quick way of dying was preferable over a slow and painful death. And not just for him. So it is possible that I wasn't giving my all to the case. Not even to solve a puzzle. Puzzles, after all, can be solved after death as well."

"You think Foreman was wrong in bringing the case to you?" Nyx asked.

"No," House shook his head. "No he wasn't wrong. He didn't really have a choice. A patient has an absolute right to treatment even if the treatment will just delay the inevitable."

"Maybe the drug they are testing will help him," Nyx suggested.

"It may slow down the deterioration of his brain," House shrugged. "It may even give him more good days than he has now. But it won't repair the damage the Alzheimer's has already done. His wife may think that he is still there, somewhere under all the symptoms, but she is wrong. He is gone. It's just some memories of him that are alive. She doesn't have a marriage anymore, she only has a patient."

"But she loves him," Nyx declared. "He is still her husband to her."

"He is a loved one," House corrected. "But not a husband. And it's tearing her apart."

"You have always preferred concentrating on the living over the dead," Nyx sighed.

"But you're still supposed to choose your patient, even over the living," House pointed out.

"And when have you done what you're supposed to?" Nyx scoffed. "Sure, when the patient has a chance to live longer and there is still some quality to the life to be lived, you do your best for the patient – you can even get angry at any patient who wants to check out early – but when there is no hope you side with the living."

"Is that wrong?" House queried. "Most doctors become doctors to save lives, after all."

"You became a doctor to solve puzzles," Nyx reminded him. "Though the side effect is that lives are saved." Nyx stared at him for a moment in silence. "Do you think he did it on purpose?"

"Did what?" House lost the thread of the conversation for a moment.

"Ran away," Nyx said. "And nearly killed himself."

"You think the hypothermia was actually an attempted suicide," House pondered the question. "Alzheimer patients do occasionally have moments of clarity when they know exactly what is happening to them. Sometimes those moments last long enough for them to know what the illness is doing to their family as well. If he had a moment like that, and he realised that the woman of his dreams was being tied to his body – not even him, just his physical manifestation – for years while her life and any chance she might have for a real family pass her by, he might very well have preferred death. Hypothermia isn't a bad way to go. I hear it is actually quite pleasant."

"So you think that was what he was trying to do?" Nyx asked again.

"We have no way of knowing," House stated. "A romantic might like to think he would make that kind of sacrifice for her, given what she has sacrificed for him. But I'm not a romantic. If he wanted to end it all, it was for himself. Which I can understand given that he was facing a future of living out his life in a strange land with strange people who will eventually speak a strange language that he won't understand."

"But you would approve if that was what he was doing?" Nyx observed.

"Yes," House nodded. "Given the future he can expect, ending it sooner rather than later makes sense. Sure, with the drug trial he might have more days worth living left, but not that many moments of clarity and opportunities to end it. On the other hand, he might have just wandered off and not tried to kill himself. I'm ok with that, too."

"But you think that the wife ought to go on with her life?" Nyx uttered.

"What he needs is someone who cares and makes medical decisions for him," House concluded. "She gives him that. The only reason she shouldn't have a guy on the side is the expectations and moral norms of the society. Those won't make her happy nor do they help her endure."

"People will say she is selfish or callous," Nyx mused.

"Only those who are naïve," House shrugged. "Those who have been in her shoes or can imagine what it is like to be in her shoes, won't judge."

"But judging is what people do best," Nyx pointed out. "You should know."

"True," House acknowledged. "People tend to forget how much they have the right to expect from other people."

"But so many do make sacrifices," Nyx insisted. "Both these wives were willing to make sacrifices for the man they had chosen. One was willing to live without sex – or at least sex with a partner; and your patient's wife was willing to stay with her man even though she just found out that he can and most probably will become physically abusive in time, when his fits of aggression get worse. Neither was asked to make the sacrifice both just did it."

"There is social expectation, too," House stated. "But you are right, they made their choice. But what you are willing to do and what the other has a right to expect is not the same thing."

"That is true," Nyx agreed. "And the living have rights too, not just the dying."

"And there are plenty of people willing to tell you what the rights of the dying are," House expressed. "But hardly anyone is interested in the rights of the living. You need to look after yourself because nobody else will do it for you."