Chapter 14

The next day, Santana sat in one of the day rooms waiting for her mother. Gabe had offered to be there but Santana wanted to see her mother alone. It didn't mean she wasn't nervous; her knee was bouncing up and down like a piston and she kept checking her phone every few minutes.

She was also nervous because she hadn't told Brittany about this meeting. She didn't like keeping it from her but she knew Brittany would want to be there with her for the meeting and Santana didn't want Brittany subjected to anymore hostility if it turned out her mother was playing games and she didn't want Brittany to miss any more school.

At 9:55am the doors opened and Maribel walked in. She looked around and when she spotted her daughter, Santana waved her over.

"Santana," Maribel smiled nervously, "thank you for agreeing to see me."

"Gabe seemed to think you were sincere and thought I should give you a chance. I trust him." Santana shrugged. She wasn't going to be a total bitch but she wasn't going to make it easy, either.

Maribel nodded. "May I sit?"

"Yeah. Of course."

"You look good. How are you feeling?"

"Better. I'm getting stronger. I still get tired faster but I'm slowly regaining my stamina." She smiled ruefully, "My abs, however, may be lost forever."

Maribel chuckled lightly. "Somehow, I do not think that is the case. You will stubborn them back into submission."

Santana smiled. "Yeah." She shifted nervously. "Gabe said I should listen to what you have to say. So, I'm listening."

Maribel nodded and began to tell Santana the story she had told Gabriel two nights ago. She left out some of the harder facts; she didn't tell her that her father wanted to abort her or that he hated her but she was completely honest about everything else including the fact that her father hadn't wanted a second child.

Santana listened with rapt attention. She couldn't believe what a total asshole her … Jorge was.

"So, that is everything, mija. I made my mistakes, some of my thinking was wrong but, I swear, everything I did was to keep you safe. I failed in the end and I'm sorry." Maribel finished up.

An aide came over and let them know that lunch was ready so the two of them went to the dining room. Santana was using a walker instead of a wheelchair but was still slow moving.

"Sorry, still getting my sea legs back," Santana murmured.

"You're doing wonderfully, Santana. You'll be cheering again in no time."

Santana smiled at that. If anything would get her abs back it was Sue Sylvester's regimen of doom.

That sat at a table and chatted idly about nothing as Santana thought about everything her mother had told her.

"Thank you," she finally said, "for everything you did and for finally telling me about it all." She cleared her throat and looked at her mother. She didn't really want to ask this question but she felt the need to. "He wanted you to abort me, didn't he?"

Maribel looked at her with the saddest eyes and Santana knew the answer; if she was honest, she had known before she asked the question.

"Why didn't you?"

"I loved you the moment I knew you existed," Maribel smiled softly, "you were my child; boy or girl didn't matter. He may not have wanted you, but I did. Never doubt that, mija, however much else you may question."

The tears slipped free without Santana's permission. She had always known her father favored Gabe; she had just never known the depth of his animosity toward her.

Maribel moved to Santana's side and wrapped her in a tight hug. "Oh, mija, no llores, mi amor. Te amo, mi bebe, te amo mucho carino."

Santana wept in her mother's arms. She felt a sense of relief in a way; her mother did love her, fought for her, wanted her. The sperm donor was just that and nothing more. She would never again name him anything else.

"I love you, too, Mami." She sniffled out as her tears slowed and started to dry.

They went back to the day room and continued talking; Santana filled her in on what had been going on at school before the attack, what she was studying, told her about the previous year and all the drama and angst with her sexuality and Brittany. It was like a dam had burst with her mother's confession and she felt free to tell her mother things she had never felt safe to talk about.

"Santana? What's going on?" Santana hadn't realized how late it had gotten and Brittany was suddenly at her side.

"Britt …"

"I'll leave you two to talk. I'll be over there." Maribel stood and walked toward where Mercedes and Quinn were standing.

"Baby, are you okay? Why is she here?" Brittany searched Santana's face for signs of upset. "You've been crying …" she started to get up but Santana stopped her.

"Britt, I have so much to tell you but right now, I just need you to believe that everything is okay. Gabe talked to her the other night and he convinced me that she wanted to explain and make things up to me. She's been here all day and we've talked a lot and I'm okay. I promise." She bit her lower lip. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you she was coming but I didn't want you to worry and I didn't want you to be subjected to her if she was lying to Gabe or wasn't sincere about making amends. Forgive me? Please?" She looked up at Britt, afraid of what she might see in her girlfriend's face.

"Hey," Brittany cupped her cheek, "I'm not mad, okay? I was just worried when I saw her here and saw that you had been crying. As long as you're okay, then we'll talk about everything else later, okay? You have physical therapy in fifteen minutes. Did you eat lunch?"

Santana smiled. God, she loved this girl. "Yeah. We actually ate lunch together."

"Okay." Brittany looked over toward where Maribel was uncomfortably standing, not too close, next to Mercedes and Quinn. She smiled and waved the three of them over.

"Everything okay?" Maribel asked.

"Yeah. I have physical therapy in fifteen minutes but, I'm glad you came."

Maribel hugged her daughter tightly. "I'll come by tomorrow if that's okay?"

"I'd like that. Thank you, Mami."

"De nada, mi corazon." Maribel nodded to the girls as she left the room.

"What the hell was that?" Quinn asked.

"Long … really long … story. And I'll fill you all in after PT, okay?"

Quinn looked skeptical but nodded. "As long as you're okay?"

"I am. Really."

Quinn and Mercedes nodded. "We'll wait for you in your room."

Santana nodded and stood up, Brittany moving her walker in front of her. She smiled her thanks and was rewarded with a returned smile.

Xoxoxoxoxo

After everyone had gone, Brittany and Santana were cuddled on the couch. The tv was on but the volume was low.

"I really am sorry I didn't tell you about her."

"It's over and done, sweetheart. You're okay and that's all that matters. I'm glad she left him and I'm so happy for you that she's back in your life."

"But …" Santana heard the reservations in Brittany's voice.

"It's selfish and stupid."

"Hey," Santana turned to look Brittany in the eye, "nothing you do or feel is ever stupid. And I seriously doubt it's selfish."

Brittany smiled softly. "I love you. I love being with you and sleeping with you and waking up with you. Now that your mom has a place of her own and there's a room for you," she shrugged, "I'm going to miss you."

"Okay, first of all, not selfish or stupid." Santana smiled at her and gave her a quick peck to the lips. "Second of all, no one says I'm moving anywhere. I'm here for at least another month. We'll see where we're at then. And, for the record, I love all that stuff too. Right now, your mom is still my guardian. I love my mom and I'm glad to have her back but … that doesn't mean I completely trust her. Yeah, I believe everything she told me but … what happens when my father gets out of jail? What happens when he threatens her or … I don't know. I just want to take it one day at time. And she promised me there was no pressure; the room is there if I want it but she knows how happy I am with you, okay?"

Brittany nodded. "That makes sense." She kissed the tip of Santana's nose.

"I talked to Jenah," Santana looked at Brittany seriously, "next week, she's going to set up a counseling session for us."

Brittany pulled back. "Why?"

"Britt," Santana took Brittany's hands in hers, "I'm having nightmares and flashbacks and anxiety or panic attacks. You're having nightmares. I really think we need help to handle everything that happened." She took a breath. "You know, when I woke up, I asked if you were okay because I was worried they had hurt you, too, but I haven't really checked in with you since. No, maybe they didn't physically touch you but, Britt, you went through emotional and mental hell. You're the one that found me, that stopped them from raping me. You're the one that called 911. You were victimized just as much as I was that day and I'm worried about you."

"Santana …"

"Look, I told her to set up the first session for us together, okay? Then we'll see what we wanna do."

Brittany looked at her and finally nodded in agreement. "Okay. Fine. We'll talk about it again after we talk to the lady."

"Good. Thank you."

Brittany stood up. "Okay. Bed time," she offered Santana her hand.

Santana took it and let Brittany lead her to the bed. They cuddled up and fell asleep in each other's arms.

Xoxoxoxoxo

Brittany woke in a cold sweat, panting heavily. She glanced at Santana and saw her girlfriend still sleeping peacefully so she carefully slipped out of the bed and moved to one of the chairs. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, rocking back and forth, trying not to whimper too loudly. She hated these nightmares. Hated that Santana knew about them. Hated that she couldn't get over it.

It was always the same; Santana lying on the ground, broken and bleeding. Kyle and Kevin laughing. She's too late. Santana isn't breathing; the ambulance isn't coming and there's nothing she can do. She always wakes up as Kyle reaches for her and says, "Your turn."

"Baby," a soft voice brings her from her reverie and strong arms wrap themselves around her. "Hey, you're okay. We're here, together, everything is okay." A soft hand stroking her forehead, smoothing the hair from her eyes and face.

Brittany looked up and into the soft, loving eyes of Santana Lopez. The sweetest woman on the planet. Brittany sniffled. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"The bed was cold," Santana smiled and tugged at Brittany's hand.

Once Brittany had let go of her legs and they dropped from her chest Santana climbed into her lap. "You wanna talk about it?"

Brittany cuddled her close and nuzzled her nose into Santana's neck. "Same as always. I was too late." The tears started leaking out again.

Santana kissed her forehead. "This is why I want us to talk to a professional, baby. I want you to be able to sleep through the night. I don't wanna be scared every time I see a football player or a couple of neanderthal-looking guys."

"I know," Brittany sighed, "I'm so tired, Santana."

"I know, babe. Think you're ready to go back to sleep? Maybe we turn off the alarm and if you wake up on time you go to school. If you don't wake up then you get the rest you need."

Brittany smiled. "I like this idea."

Santana got off Brittany's lap and grabbed her hand, leading her back to the bed.

They got in and snuggled together; Brittany didn't make it to school the next day.